The Panty Melter

by Lili Valente

  Deacon places a comforting hand on my back. “Then let’s put our heads together and come up with a plan. Figure out what she’s up to.”

  I turn to him, overcome with a sudden rush of gratitude so powerful I can’t help throwing my arms around his waist and hugging him tight. “Thank you,” I murmur against the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

  “Don’t thank me yet,” he says, returning the embrace. “We don’t have a plan, and I’m too tired to think of one right now. I’ve been up for over twenty-four hours, and I may have had one too many shots of Schnapps in my cocoa.”

  I take his hand, smiling as I lead him down the hall. “We don’t need a plan right now. Just knowing I’ve got a partner in surveillance is enough for today. And I’m happy to just take a nap with you if you’re too tired for other kinds of fun.”

  “I’m never too tired for other kinds of fun,” he says, shutting the door to my bedroom and locking it behind us.

  As always, he’s a man of his word.

  CHAPTER 21

  From the texts of Deacon Hunter and

  Violet Boden

  Deacon: How’s your Thursday, sexy? Missed not having you in my bed last night.

  * * *

  Violet: Me, too. I was freezing. I’ve gotten used to having a furnace person with me in between the sheets.

  * * *

  Deacon: Your furnace will be back in operation soon. I’m off at midnight. Is operation Addie Track still a go for tomorrow?

  * * *

  Violet: I think so… She’s definitely still planning on going out. It’s not wrong to spy on her, is it? Am I a terrible mother who’s betraying the mother-daughter trust bond? Should I be sent to the corner for a timeout?

  * * *

  Deacon: No, you’re a good mother who’s concerned that your daughter’s involved with someone who isn’t right for her. You’re an open-minded person with a big heart—it’s not like you’re going to disapprove of Adriana’s choice of partner for some superficial reason. If she’s hiding this guy from you, then there’s probably something to hide.

  * * *

  Violet: That’s what I think! But it’s good to hear it from someone else. I’m sure her dad would agree, too, but I don’t want to tell him anything just yet. No need to worry him until I’m sure what’s going on. He tends to fly off the handle when it comes to the kids. If he had his way, the girls would all be locked away in a tower until they’re thirty.

  * * *

  Deacon: If I had girls, I’m sure I’d be the same way. My boys are gentlemen, but I know most men their age aren’t.

  * * *

  Violet: Thank you for raising two good ones. It’s nice to know that there are at least a couple out there. But it does raise the question—what do we do when we find out Adriana’s dating one of the bad ones? I mean, legally she’s an adult and can date whomever she chooses.

  * * *

  Deacon: She’s living under your roof, eating your food, sleeping in a room you pay to heat. Until those things aren’t true, she’s still a kid and subject to the rules of her mother’s house.

  * * *

  Violet: I can’t threaten her with homelessness if she doesn’t break up with this jerk, Deacon. That’s too heartless. Besides, knowing Adriana, that would only make her want this guy more. She’s stubborn.

  * * *

  Deacon: Like her mother?

  * * *

  Violet: Worse. Much worse. My mind is relatively open and can be changed. Occasionally.

  * * *

  Deacon: A fact I’m grateful for every time I kiss you…

  * * *

  Violet: Oh, God, don’t talk about kissing. I’m dying for one, and it hasn’t even been two full days yet.

  * * *

  Deacon: I could come over when I get off work. Or you could come here…

  * * *

  Violet: I can’t. I’m at Adriana’s track meet, and afterward, I’m taking her and her friends for pizza and a late movie. They don’t have school tomorrow, and none of them have their driver’s license except Georgia, and she’s so traumatized after hitting Dash that she’s been bussing it along with the rest of them.

  * * *

  Deacon: How is Dash?

  * * *

  Violet: Healing up, slowly but surely. If all goes well, Dr. Moshin says he should be ready to be put up for adoption in another week or two.

  * * *

  Deacon: And you’re actually going to let that happen?

  * * *

  Violet: I have to. He’s a sweetheart, but I already have four cats, three birds, two rats my oldest swears she’s going to take to her dorm, but never does, and an aquarium full of fish. I’ve got my hands full.

  * * *

  Deacon: But you don’t have a dog. Dogs are the best. A dog’s devotion never falters. If there’s one thing you can trust in the world, it’s a dog’s love.

  * * *

  Violet: I used to have a dog. Two, actually. Grant took Frankie and Penelope with him when he moved out.

  * * *

  Deacon: Asshole.

  * * *

  Violet: It’s okay. Now they live with Tracey, love her dearly, and are very happy. That’s the other great thing about dogs—they bloom where they’re planted. If the person they used to love isn’t around, they’ll find someone else to adore and be just as happy as they were before.

  * * *

  Deacon: If we broke up, I would never take the dogs and leave you with nothing but a pack of moody cats.

  * * *

  Violet: My cats aren’t moody! Pukey, sometimes, but not moody.

  * * *

  Deacon: Still…they’re cats.

  * * *

  Violet: True. They are. And I appreciate the promise, though, I don’t think we have to worry about that just yet. In order to break up, we’d have to officially be together.

  * * *

  Deacon: Then let’s officially be together.

  * * *

  Violet: We’ve only been dating for six weeks. You could have a secret family in Peoria for all I know.

  * * *

  Deacon: Do you think I have a secret family? And where is Peoria? Illinois?

  * * *

  Violet: I’m not sure. And no, I don’t think you have a secret family. I think you’re honest, almost to a fault. It’s one of the things I really like about you.

  * * *

  Deacon: I really like that about you, too. And I don’t need more time to know I want more time. I’m into you, Violet Boden. Way into you. But if you’re not ready to put a label on this, it’s okay. I can wait.

  * * *

  Violet: I’m way into you, too. I mean, spending two days apart feels like it’s causing lasting damage. I’d say I’m pretty hooked.

  * * *

  Deacon: Then be my girlfriend. Let’s make it official.

  * * *

  Violet: Okay.

  * * *

  Deacon: Not the show of enthusiasm I would have liked, but I’ll take it.

  * * *

  Violet: LOL. Sorry! I am enthusiastic. I’m smiling so hard right now the people in the stands around me are starting to look at me funny. I’m goofy happy to be your girlfriend. Truly.

  * * *

  Deacon: Good. I like you goofy happy. I can’t wait to see you again, baby.

  * * *

  Violet: Me, either. Tomorrow can’t come fast enough. Adriana said she was leaving around noon, by the way.

  * * *

  Deacon: Then I’ll be there by eleven. In case she heads out early.

  * * *

  Violet: Or you could come over at ten, and we could go grab brunch at the diner first. I mean, who knows where she’s going? It could end up being a long day. We’ll want to be sure we start with a hearty breakfast.

  * * *

  Deacon: True. And sometimes there’s a line for brunch on Fridays. Maybe I should get there at nine, just in case.

  * * *

  Violet: Or eight
. And we could linger over coffee…

  * * *

  Deacon: I like the way you think, woman. And I love the way you taste. Are you sure I can’t come over? I’ll make it worth your while…

  * * *

  Violet: You always do, which reminds me of a question I’ve wanted to ask you.

  * * *

  Deacon: Shoot. You know I’m an open book.

  * * *

  Violet: How on earth did you manage to stay single for so long? A catch like you?

  * * *

  Deacon: You didn’t think I was such a catch when we first met.

  * * *

  Violet: Yeah, well you grew on me. A lot. Surely, sometime in the past twelve years, there was another woman who could put up with your pretty face and lovely muscles and gorgeous singing voice and how obnoxiously helpful and generous you are.

  * * *

  Deacon: There were a couple. But in my gut, I knew those relationships wouldn’t work long term. As a wise woman I know once said, I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t check my boxes.

  * * *

  Violet: And what are your boxes, Mr. Hunter?

  * * *

  Deacon: I’d rather tell you in person, Ms. Boden, while checking your boxes until you scream my name.

  * * *

  Violet: Addie and her friends are sleeping at my place. So that’s a hard no on the screaming.

  * * *

  Deacon: Then why don’t I pick you up after you get home from the movie, and we can come back here? The twins are home for the weekend, but they stay in the guest cottage, and Dad’s over at Sophie’s, so it’ll be just the two of us in the main house.

  * * *

  Violet: I like just the two of us… And the girls will be fine on their own. But I have to be back at my place by seven tomorrow to make breakfast. I promised them mushroom and feta omelets.

  * * *

  Deacon: Done.

  * * *

  Violet: Perfect. *winking emoji* See you soon.

  * * *

  Deacon: Not soon enough.

  CHAPTER 22

  VIOLET

  I love spending time with my kids. Every age and every stage has been precious—even the terrible toddler years and the equally trying interpersonal obstacle course that is parenting teenagers. I wouldn’t trade a moment of the time I’ve spent watching movies or riding bikes or hunting through the bargain bins at the thrift store with my girls for eternal life and a bucket full of money.

  But tonight my mind isn’t with Addie and her friends.

  I try to focus on the rapid-fire gossip ricocheting through the car as I pull out of the pizza parlor parking lot and head for the movies, but I can’t seem to make sense of the names or backstories or who’s cheating on who with whose ex-best-friend from Cloverdale.

  I usually enjoy this window into Addie’s world, but tonight my thoughts aren’t in this car. They’re in Mercyville with the man I can’t get out of my head.

  With my newly official boyfriend…

  I have a boyfriend for the first time since I was Addie’s age. And it’s wonderful. Amazing. So much better than I remember.

  Deacon is so special, and this thing we’ve found is so much more intense than anything I’ve felt before, even in the beginning with Grant, when I was so starry-eyed I tripped over my own feet in my hurry to fall in love.

  But not even Grant made me burn like this, want like this, long for him like this. And it isn’t just physical longing anymore. It hasn’t been for weeks. It’s Deacon’s smile, his laugh, the way he puts my needs first and goes out of his way to memorize my favorite things, and how he holds me like he never wants to let me go.

  God, I’ve got it so bad—so bad I know I won’t be able to keep it to myself much longer.

  “Earth to Mom,” Addie says from the back seat, in a tone that makes me think it isn’t the first time she’s said my name. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine.” I force a smile, meeting her gaze in the rearview mirror. “Just thinking about everything I need to get done tomorrow.”

  “You missed the turn into the parking garage,” Addie says, clearly not convinced that I haven’t finally gone senile, the way she’s been anticipating for years.

  I blink, laughing uncomfortably as I realize I’m nearly to the mall “Sorry. Woolgathering. Good thing we’re early.”

  Turning the car around, I force myself to focus on the road, the conversation, the way Addie goes weirdly quiet when Georgia mentions going camping for spring break—she usually loves camping—but my thoughts keep coming back to Deacon.

  Long before I climb into his truck after getting the girls settled in Adriana’s room with strict orders not to leave until I get back tomorrow morning unless the house is on fire, I’m already with Deacon in spirit.

  In heart and soul.

  “And finally in body,” I sigh, leaning across the cab for a kiss.

  “What’s that about your fine body?” he murmurs against my lips.

  “It’s happy to be with you again.”

  “Mine, too. I missed you so much,” he says, shifting into drive before bringing his hand back to rest on my thigh. “That’s one of my boxes. That life has to feel better with the person I’m with than it does alone.”

  I turn, studying him as he drives, the streetlights illuminating his strong profile. “So I pass the better life test?”

  “You make everything better,” he says, casting a soft glance my way. “Me, included.”

  My chest squeezes tight, and my stomach flips in a way I never expected it to flip again. But it turns out falling in love isn’t only for the young or naïve. It’s for everyone, at every age, from the most wide-open heart to the most jaded soul wandering the earth and secretly hoping there’s someone out there made just for them.

  “I want to hear more about your boxes,” I whisper.

  “I want to get you naked as soon as possible.”

  “Then you’d better talk fast. It’s only a ten-minute drive, buddy.”

  With a smile and a deep breath, he confesses all his secrets, as if they aren’t secrets at all. As if he’s never considered hiding any of the things he unravels in the dark as we zip through the still night toward the river.

  But I know better. Deacon is fiercely private. The fact that his walls have come down for me is special. The fact that they’ve come down so fast I suspect is unprecedented, a hunch he confirms when he says, “I’ve never told anyone most of those things. Not even my ex-wife when we were in counseling. But, with you, I don’t feel like I have to hide or pretend like I’ve got everything under control.” He laughs, the sound so soft it’s almost lost beneath the rumble of gravel as he turns into his driveway. “Sometimes, I think you like me better when I’m struggling to figure shit out.”

  I grin as I brush his increasingly long hair behind his ear. “Sometimes, I do. Struggling means you’re growing, and growing is sexy.”

  “I’m definitely growing,” he says, his fingers sliding higher on my thigh.

  “You’re shameless,” I say, my giggle turning to a sigh as his hand settles firmly between my legs. “It’s one of the things I love about you.”

  He somehow manages to shift the truck into park and turn off the ignition without moving his right hand, and then his lips are on mine. “I love everything about you.”

  “Lies,” I whisper, my pulse beating fast in my throat. “Sometimes I drive you crazy.”

  “Which I also love. You keep me on my toes.” His hand skims up to my waist as he pulls back to meet my eyes in the dim glow of the light shining from the barn roof. “What I’m trying to say is…” His breath rushes out. “Something I haven’t said in a long time.”

  I nod, breath held, heart racing. “It hasn’t been quite as long for me, but it’s still a scary thing to say.”

  “Only if the other person doesn’t feel the same way,” he says. “But it’s okay. If you’re not there yet, I can wait, Vi. There’s no pressure
.”

  “Are you going to say it?” I whisper. “Or wait until I have a heart attack first?”

  His lips quirk. “I do know mouth-to-mouth. But I don’t want to give you a heart attack. I love you too much. I want to keep you and your heart in good working order.”

  Champagne bubbles of happiness exploding in my bloodstream, I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tight. “I love you and your heart, too.”