Sick Bay

by Nova Weetman

  She hands me the lip gloss and I slide it into my pocket.

  ‘Thanks, Jenna,’ I say, still not sure why she’s being so nice.

  She nods and starts sweeping all the hair accessories into a box with her hand. Apparently, our sweet, sisterly moment has come to an end.

  Six hours isn’t very long when you have to squeeze in watching your friend open her presents, eating lollies, painting nails, checking out the hotel gym, a movie and dinner. The first three hours have flown by. My nails are currently green, and I’ve bounced on all four beds to compare the springs.

  Lina has the bed in the middle. Her mum explained that it was central to the friendship group. My bed is on the end near the door because I’m not staying. When I arrived, Lina gave me a gold toiletry bag stuffed full of essentials with my name on it: an eye mask, soap, hand cream, a magazine and some lip balm. Everyone else’s also had a block of chocolate, but mine had a packet of chewing gum. Lina’s mum grinned at my mum and explained that she was really onboard with the whole diabetes thing.

  Mum managed to contain herself and explain the grams and what happens with a high and a low and then handed Lina’s mum a laminated diabetes management plan. Talk about embarrassing.

  I was so relieved when she finally left.

  Lina’s mum looks like a grown-up version of Lina: same shaggy blonde hair, same obsession with denim, and the same perfectly manicured nails. She’s sleeping in the adjoining room, so mostly it’s just been the four of us lounging around.

  I’ve flicked through all the movies on the in-house channel about twenty million times to find something we can all agree on. We’ve narrowed it down to three choices: a rom-com, a Marvel movie or a family drama.

  ‘Shall we go for a swim first?’ Lina says, leaping off her bed and flipping over into a backbend.

  ‘Yeah!’ calls Elle.

  My tummy feels all jittery. ‘Can’t we watch a movie instead?’

  ‘No,’ says Lina. ‘The pool is gorgeous!’

  ‘I’m getting changed!’ Tessa says as she bounds up, grabs her bag and heads for the bathroom.

  I think about my promise to Mum. ‘I don’t have my bathers,’ I say, pleased that I have an excuse.

  Lina beams at me. ‘I have heaps of spares!’

  ‘Hurry up, Tessa!’ Elle bangs on the bathroom door, clutching her bathers in her hand.

  Lina starts pulling everything out of her bag to show me some options.

  ‘It’s okay, L. I’ll just come and watch,’ I tell her.

  ‘No way! My party, my rules!’ She hurls me a pair of black bikinis. ‘Get dressed!’

  I shake my head. The bathers are skimpy and won’t cover anything. I can’t wear them. ‘Have you got anything with a bit more material?’

  Lina laughs. ‘I didn’t know you were such a prude!’

  ‘I’m not. I just … they’re really tiny.’

  Lina sighs and pulls more stuff out of her bag.

  ‘You moving in, L?’ I’m trying to lighten the moment.

  ‘I want my party to be perfect, so I bought heaps of stuff, just in case you guys needed to borrow things. Which obviously, you do!’ She punctuates the sentence by hurling two more pairs of bathers my way.

  I scoop up the dark green one piece. ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Bathers were on the list of essentials, by the way. Why didn’t you bring yours?’ Lina looks up at me from the other side of the room.

  I could tell the truth – that I had to promise Mum I wouldn’t swim because swimming means disconnecting my pump and that’s not something she likes me doing if she’s not around. It’s usually safe to disconnect for a short time, like maybe ninety minutes or so, but it means lots of blood glucose checking during the swim, and also giving a bolus before I disconnect. A bolus is a dose of insulin you give on demand, unlike the basal insulin doses that are smaller and continuous and released automatically by the pump every few minutes without me having to do anything. This is the insulin I need for normal metabolism. Basically, swimming and pump disconnection is a pain. But as if I’m going to tell Lina all that.

  Instead, I fake smile, and squeak out my answer: ‘Forgot.’

  Tessa comes out in her bathers with a bath towel draped over her shoulder.

  ‘There are striped towels poolside,’ says Lina, like Tessa should know better.

  ‘Oh,’ says Tessa, dropping her towel on the bed.

  I start to imagine how angry Mum will be when she discovers I’ve taken off my pump. It might mean I never get to go to another party as long as I live.

  ‘L, I really can’t go swimming.’

  Lina laughs coldly. ‘Why? Don’t you like those bathers either?’

  ‘These are lovely. I just … it’s just ….’

  ‘Live a little, R. You’re only here for another two hours!’

  Lina snatches up the bikini from my bed and strips off in front of us. She’s never cared about getting changed in public.

  ‘Come on, Riley. Your mum will understand,’ says Tessa gently as we both turn away and face the wall.

  ‘Bathroom’s free!’ Elle shouts, chucking her clothes on the bed near us.

  It’s my turn.

  In the bathroom there’s a large spa in the middle of the room that they plan to use in the morning. I strip off, take off my pump and pull on Lina’s bathers. Even these are high-cut and low-cut in all the places I’d never usually choose.

  Someone bangs on the door. ‘Come on, R!’

  I grab my things and head out into the room. They’re all wrapped in big white bathrobes with white slippers on their feet.

  ‘Sorry, R. There’s no dressing-gown for you,’ says Lina. ‘I guess because you aren’t staying.’

  I nod, feeling my eyes itch as I turn away and pull on my striped t-shirt to wear down to the pool.

  Elle and Tessa crowd around Lina as the three of them walk down the corridor to the lifts, chattering about breakfast the next day and the midnight snack they plan to wake up for.

  I try to catch up and squeeze in next to Tessa but the corridor is too narrow and so I trail behind. There were no slippers for me either so I’m in my Converse with no socks on. The others look glamorous – like they belong in a Hollywood movie.

  ‘When we get there, I’m going to order poolside service,’ says Lina, pressing the button for the thirty-fifth floor. ‘What does everyone want?’

  The others start listing off a bunch of things like chips and milkshakes and soft drink. I just want to go back to the room and lie in bed and watch a movie. Without my pump, I shouldn’t eat because I can’t put grams in for food. And I’ve left my test kit in the room, which means I can’t tell if I’m low or high.

  ‘This way,’ says Lina as the lift doors slide open.

  It smells like chlorine even before we reach the pool.

  ‘Wow!’ Tessa says, running ahead.

  It’s pretty gorgeous up here. Even though it’s early evening, the sky is still blue and clear. Bunches of high-rise buildings with hundreds of windows look down into the pool, but I guess nobody is really at work on a Saturday. Just in case, I tug at my bathers making sure they cover everything.

  ‘It’s like a Hawaiian paradise!’ Elle says, running her hand along the fake grass that lines the edge of the bar. There are a few people sitting on poolside stools, but they don’t seem to be aware of us at all.

  ‘I’m going in!’ Elle chucks her robe and slippers onto a banana lounge and bombs into the deep end, splashing us.

  I lie down on a banana lounge, planning to take as long as I can to actually get wet.

  ‘Come on, R,’ says Lina, standing over me. ‘Food will come up soon. But you have to swim first!’

  ‘I’m just warming up!’

  ‘It’s about thirty degrees up here. You’re stalling,’ she says.

/>   I want to enjoy the party. I want to feel the abandon that Lina and the others feel. I just can’t. I can hear The Brain’s voice echoing in my head: You have to take your condition seriously.

  Maybe it’ll be different in the water.

  There are stairs at one end of the pool that I use to lower my way into the shallow end. Elle and Tessa are having a water fight in the deep and Lina is next to me.

  ‘How cool is this?’ she says, sweeping her arms across the top of the water.

  ‘Pretty cool.’ I take a breath. Try to clear Mum from my head.

  Lina dives under and disappears into the blue. I feel her arms grab my leg and yank me down the rest of the stairs. I’m hopping, trying not to go under. I figure if I’m in for ten minutes then I can probably talk them into going back to the room.

  ‘Let’s ring your mum and tell her you’re staying,’ says Lina, bobbing up and slicking her hair back so that it’s off her face. She looks younger in the water, and I think how much she’d hate that. Ever since I’ve known Lina, she’s wanted to look older.

  ‘Can’t,’ I say.

  ‘But what’s the big deal? It’s not like anything will happen to you,’ she says.

  I remember that this is what I wanted, to be here, to be allowed to be like them. But now it’s happening, it’s not how I thought it would feel.

  I stretch up on my tiptoes so there’s no risk of my hair getting wet, and try to think of an answer that will satisfy Lina. Elle squeals from the other end and Tessa’s legs shoot up as she does an underwater handstand.

  Then Lina leaps up and out of the water and, before I can jump out of her reach, she seizes me by the shoulders and grabs me. I sort of trip my way in, and then I’m under.

  Mum is going to kill me!

  I quickly stand back up on the tiled floor. My hair drips and sags, the bun pulling backwards.

  ‘Sorry, R,’ says Lina, bobbing around me on her back. ‘It was an accident.’

  I turn away from her and start up the steps. I’m trying to wring all the water from my hair, but it’s sopping. Elle and Tessa have joined us and the three of them bounce around me in the water. It’s like they’re trying to show me how much fun I should be having.

  Suddenly I stop.

  My hair is wet. It wasn’t my fault. Maybe I could swim a little longer before getting out. I do love being in the water. It’s one of the few times I can take my pump off and feel like everyone else.

  I hurl myself up out of the water and splash down in the middle of the others. Lina squeals and laughs and pushes on my shoulders, dunking me. I decide that for the next ninety minutes I’m not going to think about Mum or diabetes or anything else. I’m just going to have fun.

  By the time a waiter slides a tray of food onto the table near our towels, I’m hungry. Lina swims across, clambers up the side of the pool and signs the docket. I lie back in the cool, feeling the water cover me like a blanket.

  ‘Chips, anyone?’ Lina balances the plates and the milkshakes in frosted silver on the edge of the pool so we can reach them and jumps back in.

  I float, eyes closed, while the others swim across to where Lina waits. I know I can’t stall forever. Lina likes it when we all participate.

  Two sips. Three chips.

  The strawberry milkshake that I never ordered is bright pink. The chips are crisp and salty. The others giggle as they dip in and out of the water, grabbing another handful. I slurp slowly at the sweet milk, trying to work out grams in my head so I can put them into my pump when I go back to the room.

  ‘Isn’t this the best?’ says Lina.

  ‘I am so coming here for my party!’ Tessa says.

  I stop sipping the milkshake. I’ve had more than I meant to. I grab another few chips and slip back into the water. I know I have to get out soon, but it’s so nice here. My body feels light and free. I bob, drifting slowly along the surface of the water until my feet bump the side. Behind me the others giggle and laugh and splash. The early evening sun licks my face and I try to open my eyes but it’s too bright. So I stretch out and float.

  ‘Riley!’

  I can hear my name being called but I can’t be bothered standing up.

  Then someone grabs my arm and I dip under the water, snorting in a mouthful. I cough as I jump up. ‘What?’

  Lina smiles at me. ‘Marco Polo?’

  ‘I should probably get out,’ I tell her.

  ‘No. I won’t allow it. It’s my birthday,’ she says, dropping her bottom lip.

  I blink away a furious image of The Brain when she finds out I’ve been swimming. ‘Okay.’

  ‘You’re it, Tessa,’ yells Lina.

  Tessa groans but closes her eyes as we scatter around the edges of the pool.

  ‘No cheating, T,’ shouts Lina as Tessa swims straight for her, eyes half-closed.

  I lean against the edge, waiting, stealing another chip from the bowl. Tessa moves fast through the water, trying to tag us all as she calls out, ‘Marco!’ And we echo with, ‘Polo’.

  Elle’s tagged first. Then Lina. Then the three of them turn on me. I swim down the middle, ducking under the water and skirting the bottom. Looking up to the surface, I see the blurry shapes of my friends hovering over me. As I come up for air, the three of them leap on me and I’m pushed under for a second.

  I come up gasping for air and realise the sun is not as bright as it was. How long have we been up here? As Elle starts counting, I pull the pins out of my hair and give it a shake, the movement causing my stomach to clench and swirl. I feel a bit off. My heart has a slightly racy feeling. I head for the edge of the pool.

  ‘R?’

  ‘Getting out,’ I tell her.

  ‘But we’re still playing! You are officially no fun!’ Lina shouts.

  ‘Whatever!’ I shout back, wondering if maybe it’s true. I need to do a test. I know I do. I grab my things, but then realise I need the key to get back to the room.

  ‘Room key, Lina?’

  Down the other end of the pool, she ignores me. I’ll just knock on Lina’s mum’s door. She can let me in.

  I head for the lift.

  ‘Riley?’ Lina calls out. ‘Where you going?’

  I keep walking. I hit the button on the lift, leaning my head against the wall. I hate this feeling.

  The lift doors open and I expect the others to be hurrying in behind me. But they aren’t. It’s just me, dripping patches of pool water onto the tiled floor.

  I press the button and watch the numbers dim as the lift goes down. It stops and I step out onto the blue speckled carpet, making watery footprints as I go.

  I bang on the door next to our room.

  It takes a minute, but then Lina’s mum opens. She’s dressed in a robe too. I wonder if it means she’s heading up for a swim.

  ‘Can you let me into the other room?’

  ‘You okay, honey?’

  ‘Yeah. Just feeling a bit odd. Need to reconnect my pump and do a test.’

  As I head through her room, I’m aware of the fact that I’m still wet. I hope she doesn’t mind. The adjoining door is open. I strip out of Lina’s bathers and pull on my clothes. I plug my pump back in and plonk down on the bed to do a test.

  ‘I can get you a banana if you like? Low GI,’ nods Lina’s mum.

  I’m sure she’s trying to be kind but right now I’d like to punch her. ‘Thanks. Just some water.’ Being thirsty is a classic sign of the beginning of a high.

  The machine beeps. The blood glucose reading is 14. I’m not too high but I need to do a correction bolus because I have high blood glucose.

  Lina’s mum hands me a glass of water and I drink it as fast as I can.

  ‘More please.’

  ‘You’re dehydrated. That’s not good,’ she says, refilling my glass.

  Sometimes when I se
e The Hulk, she asks me for my top ten annoying comments from well-meaning non-diabetics. Lina’s mum would be scoring pretty well right now. At least she hasn’t tried to suggest that I’ve caused diabetes by eating too much sugar. That’s The Hulk’s personal favourite.

  I ignore her and use my pump to give myself extra insulin to correct the high blood glucose.

  ‘You’re having a hyper, aren’t you?’ Lina’s mum says quietly from the doorway.

  ‘We call it a high. Yeah.’

  ‘I read the sheet. Twice. If it’s not a bad um, high … we can treat it. Right?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  She nods and fills up my glass again. ‘It must be hard.’

  To be honest, I’m not sure if she’s talking generally about having diabetes or specifically about dashing up to the room when all my friends are still having fun in the pool. I opt for vague.

  ‘Yeah.’

  As I put my glass down on the table, I see the red flashing numbers on the digital clock. Mum will be here in a bit under an hour!

  ‘Is there a hair dryer?’ I ask in a panic.

  Lina’s mum nods. ‘In the bathroom.’

  I’m aware that I must appear rather odd as I jump up, then sit back down again. ‘I’m not going to tell Mum I went swimming. Okay?’

  I really hope Lina’s mum understands what I mean. I really hope she’s as keen to lie to my mum as I am. And I really hope Jenna’s proud of me when I tell her that not only did I lie, I made an adult lie too.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because swimming means I take my pump off and basically she’d kill me if she knew.’

  Her shocked expression makes me feel even guiltier than the lying does, except that then I remember the reason I’m wet. And it’s because of her daughter, so I figure she can share the guilt.

  ‘Okay.’

  I smile and disappear into the bathroom.

  I’m drying my hair when the others come back from the pool. Lina’s telling her mum some story about a poolside food disaster, but I can’t quite hear it all over the hair dryer.

  ‘We’re going to put the movie on, R!’ Lina shouts from the doorway a minute later. ‘Are you almost finished?’