Walking on Sea Glass

by Julie Carobini

  Meg nodded vigorously. “It is true. I would’ve folded like a pop-up tent in the wind. Promise you’ll call the doctor tomorrow and get the heck off that medicine now.”

  “I’m afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  Liddy hiccuped before speaking. “What if it did come back?”

  Meg squeezed both of Liddy’s arms. “Then you’ll face that with the same audacity that you’ve shown all year.”

  * * *

  “So you just walked away?” Taylor stared at him over a platter of tacos.

  Beau looked to Ginny for some support, but she frowned back at him.

  “What were you doing at the pier with Wendy anyway?”

  He shook his head. “She just wanted to talk to me about a … a business venture. I was giving her advice.”

  Taylor raised one eyebrow. “Sounds like she wanted you to give her something else, bro.”

  Ginny slugged him, her expression fierce.

  A knife twisted in his gut. Clearly they both thought this was his fault, that he’d run Liddy off. “Look, I asked Liddy if I could call her after work, and she said no.”

  “And you believed her?” Ginny said.

  “It’s been years since I’ve had a new relationship to deal with, but yes, I believed her. She made herself clear: she wanted a break from from us. And if nothing else, marriage taught me well.”

  Ginny continued to press him. “Meaning?”

  “If a woman doesn’t want me around, I won’t force the issue.”

  Ginny leaned forward. “Beau, you’ve been through so much in the last year. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is. Which is why what I’m about to say to you is so difficult.” She paused. “You are a stupid man.”

  Taylor grinned, his mouth full of taco. “Listen to her, dude. She knows her stuff.”

  Beau sat there, dumbfounded. He had never seen this side of Ginny before.

  Ginny slid out of her seat and stood. “Sorry to have to be blunt with you, my friend. I’ve seen you and Liddy together, and there’s something there. Don’t give up on her—or yourself—so quickly.” She sighed and bent to give her husband a peck on the cheek. “Gotta run, love.”

  Taylor watched her sashay away. Lucky idiot. The guy had fallen for Ginny on their first date and that was it. He was in. All in.

  But that wasn’t Beau’s way. Life for him was a series of direction signs. Green meant go, and red? Stop. Halt. Do not proceed. When he’d attempted to smooth things over with Liddy the other day, he definitely saw red, and he had taken that as a sign to walk away.

  “So,” Taylor said, broaching the subject again, “are you going to go after her?”

  Beau flicked Taylor a glance. “There’s more.”

  Taylor sat back. “You didn’t … take it too far with the Wilkes woman, I hope.”

  Beau shook his head. That thought hadn’t even entered his mind, and he took an odd sense of satisfaction in that. “No. But Liddy said something strange to me the other day. She said she hasn’t been feeling that well lately, that she’d had dizzy spells.”

  “Was this the same day she broke up with you?”

  He swiped a hand across his grizzled face. “Yeah. She was rather in my face about it, like she wanted to see how I handled it.”

  “And how did you handle it?”

  Beau snapped him a look. “How do you think?”

  Taylor wagged his head, a telling look on his face. He leaned forward, his arms clasped together onto the table in front of him. “Aha.”

  Beau crushed his napkin and pitched it onto his uneaten plate of tacos. “Aha nothing. She surprised me, that’s all. I just needed some time to take in what she was saying, and to ask questions. But she never gave me the chance. Just said she was walking on eggshells around me.”

  “Maybe she is.”

  “So this is my fault? I take a meaningless walk with a friend—”

  “That involved some inappropriate touching.”

  Beau set his chin. “Not on my part!” He sighed. “I may have been a little surprised when Liddy suddenly announced that she’s been dizzy lately. Out of the blue.”

  A waiter came by and wordlessly removed their plates. A woman carrying a pitcher of water filled up their glasses.

  “Admittedly, it’s a tough spot you’re in. I like Liddy, and my gut tells me she’s good for you, but dude, if it were me, I’d be a little nervous, too. I know Ginny thinks you should offer some kind of grand gesture to Liddy, but I don’t know. Not sure you’re ready for that.”

  Beau sighed and took in the colorless day that surrounded them. Truthfully—and painfully—he found himself agreeing with Taylor: he wasn’t sure if he was ready yet, either.

  * * *

  Today, she ran. Not a fast walk, and certainly not a jog. No, today after work, Liddy laced up her running shoes and ran as fast as she could down the beach, bounding over incoming waves and fighting against the rising pressure in her lungs. It was the good kind of pressure, the kind that presented her with a goal, and then another. Sweat poured from her, dripping off her chin, the droplets occasionally landing cold on her warm skin. She wanted to hit the wall, then leap right over it. She needed to do this for herself. It had been days since she had spoken to Beau, and she had been surprisingly calm about it. She’d had to be.

  Her cell phone rang the second she entered her condo after a brief cool down. She sneezed, then flopped onto the floor, her chest still pulsating. She pulled off her shoes, and hit the answer button, putting her phone on speaker. “Hi. What’s your news?”

  “How did you—wait. What news?” Meg said.

  “Too sweaty to talk.” She grabbed a magazine and began fanning herself with it. “Haven’t seen you at work in two days, so I figured you had news. Spill.”

  “I’ve been in So Cal—awful traffic. I stopped by the hotel on my way back into town today, though, and you’re gonna die when you hear …”

  Liddy stopped fanning herself. “Really.”

  Meg paused for longer than usual. “Oh, you know, Sally was all worked up again. Face was red. May have been a few tears.” She chuckled unevenly. “The usual, but enough about my day. Anything from the doctor?”

  “Whoa, no way. You told me I was about to die. I think you at least owe me an explanation.”

  “Seriously, it was nothing. Something about unapproved restaurant expenditures … I think spreadsheets and receipts were being demanded. Forget it. I want you to keep me informed about your health. You know that!”

  “Yes, I do. But I don’t know … I feel like you have more to tell me.”

  Meg sighed. “Fine. Whatever. Jackson and Pepper were at each other’s throats in the office when I walked in. Another reason Sally looked the way she did.”

  “Hmm. Any word on why they were fighting?”

  “Their battles are nothing new …”

  “What does that mean?”

  Meg sighed. “It means that during our brief relationship, Jackson may have mentioned things he doesn’t want me remembering now.”

  “You can’t stop there, you know … unless, well, unless, it’s all pillow talk or something.”

  Meg laughed. “You goof. Fine … he told me once that his sister is his father’s daughter from another relationship. He didn’t find out about her until he was nearly an adult, and the news rocked him. His relationship with his father until his death was nearly non-existent.”

  “Wow.” Liddy thought back to the revelations about her own marriage, and how Shawn’s betrayal shook her deeply. For months, she had wondered how she had missed the signs that a relationship she had taken for granted had crumbled almost overnight. As the days wore on, though, she knew better. She had seen the signs, but hadn’t recognized them for what they were. She held her breath a moment. The diagnosis of her tumor had been like that, too. She’d felt strange and weak for months, but played down the rumblings in her mind. Had Jackson really not known about his half-sister for that long?

  She clea
red her voice. “And apparently their father’s holdings were left for both of them to handle. That’s one way to force your children to get along.”

  “Or not,” Meg said. “Enough about all that. Please tell me you’ve heard from your doctor.”

  Liddy stood and bent over to one side, hoping to limber up after her run. “I had an MRI late yesterday,” she said, exhaling. “I’m supposed to hear something this week, but I keep hoping it’ll be tonight before the doc’s office closes.”

  “What?! And you didn’t tell me?”

  Liddy gave her friend an exaggerated little laugh. “I was getting to it.”

  “What’d they say?”

  “Honestly, I didn’t tell you because I was worried that at the last minute I would get bumped again. Although, I have to say, my doctor pretty much made sure that wouldn’t happen. As for results, I’m waiting for them. If I suddenly cut this call short, you’ll know why.”

  “This is great news, or at least it will be soon. I know it. Can I ask … how’s the dizziness?”

  She grimaced. The dizziness had dissipated. Her breaking heart? Not so much. “Honestly, I haven’t had a bout with it lately.”

  “Good. What did your doctor say about the pills?”

  “He said to keep them on hand, and if I found myself needing to take them, do so, but that I should also call him.”

  “I suppose he’s being cautious until the MRI results are in.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Yeah, so … anything from Beau?”

  “Like I said, we’re not together right now.” When she had told Beau she wanted a break, Liddy half-expected him to show up anyway. But he didn’t and that was fine. Probably even for the best.

  “You okay? Really?”

  Liddy nodded, hoping to shake away the tiny lump forming in her throat. “Yeah, fine. I just came in from a run, in fact. I think I’ll grab a warm shower and read for a while.”

  They said their goodbyes and clicked off the line, Liddy keeping her phone close as she made her way out of the room.

  Chapter 23

  At work the next day, the morning hours dragged on and on. So at the first opportunity, Liddy stepped outside for a break, taking a walk behind the hotel to the path that overlooked the shoreline. The ocean glimmered in the late morning light, offering up soothing colors of spring and shades of blue, but the spectacle did little to buoy her mood.

  She leaned against a railing and let go of a sigh, the release softening her shoulders, as if they had been caged since daylight. Beau hadn’t called. Neither had the doctor’s office. She felt herself sinking into the depths of wallowing—and hated herself for it.

  Pull it together, Liddy.

  She fought off the hover of a grey cloud, and instead offered up a broken prayer, her failures fresh in her head. Shawn, his girlfriend … their son. She swallowed, hard. That reality was never far away from her mind but she had to let it go. A child, a new life, had risen out of the ashes of her crumbled marriage. How could she be bitter now?

  I have loved you with an everlasting love.

  The words swirled on the breeze around her, loving and rich, blanketing her with warm hope. Where had she heard them before? And why did they pierce her so deeply now, especially when love, the kind that ran deep as the ocean, seemed elusive.

  I have loved you … an everlasting love.

  Once again, the words reverberated, the shudder of the sea a longing companion. Comfortable, gripping. In a way the words she clung to reminded her of the voice she had heard in the hospital, the one she had not questioned.

  She saw the words in her mind this time, letters like silk flowing across a page. A measure of peace settled her as she repeated them softly in the wind.

  Her gaze wandered to the end of the path, where a guy in striped shorts dug a deep hole flicking shovelfuls of sand haphazardly behind him. A girl in a yellow sun dress sat next to him, egging him on, her laughter infusing the sea-laced air with a kind of dreaminess that she longed to emulate. The salt air tickled her nose. Her eyes watered, and she blinked it away. Trace would be sending a valet out soon to check on her. She laughed quietly at the thought.

  Liddy glanced at the couple again, longing to be carefree. Water pricked her eyes, but this time, not from the sniffles. She couldn’t stay out here forever, hiding from her truths. The thought of being apart from Beau hurt so much more than she ever thought it could. She’d thought she would never recover from the loss of her marriage, but the truth struck her with alarming clarity that this time, she had so much more to lose.

  She went back into work, knowing the stakes were higher than they had ever been.

  * * *

  “Liddy Buckle?”

  Liddy lifted her gaze to the women who had appeared at the concierge desk, seemingly out of nowhere. She’d been so entrenched in the manual in front of her, she had not heard the approach of footsteps. “Yes, may I help …”

  “We’ve met briefly once.” She paused. “Do you remember me?”

  Wendy Wilkes stood in front of her, her hair pulled up into clip, her face free of makeup. It had taken a second or two for recognition to set in, but the woman who seemed to have more than a passing interest in Beau had showed up at the hotel. For what, she couldn’t imagine.

  “Beau suggested I speak with you.”

  An uncomfortable heat filled Liddy’s cheeks. “I see. What can I help you with?”

  Wendy blinked a couple of times, then set a binder on top of the counter. “Actually, first it was Beau, and then a Mr. Riley, I believe?”

  “Mr. Riley?” Liddy said. She could sense Trace’s stillness, as if her co-worker had leaned in to listen.

  Wendy flipped open the book. I presented an idea to him over the phone about holding an ongoing art show at the hotel. Well, actually, Beau suggested it first—that’s why he told me to talk to you. But when I called, the secretary had me speak to Mr. Riley. He thought the idea had merit and that you could show me where we might put our displays.”

  Liddy nodded, finally able to think, to speak. “I see, I see. Okay, well, maybe Trace would be the best one to talk to. She’s been here longer than I have.”

  Trace stood and peered over Liddy’s shoulder at the open binder on the desk. “Hi, I’m Trace,” she said.

  Wendy smiled, tentatively. “Hello. Thank you. It’s a pleasure. But if you don’t mind, I’d like Liddy to show me. Would you?”

  Their eyes met. Liddy saw something like challenge in them, and maybe a little resolve. She swallowed.

  Trace whispered. “I suggest the library.”

  Liddy nodded once, meeting Wendy’s eyes. “Certainly. Why don’t we head across the lounge area, and I’ll show you an area that you might want to consider.”

  As they walked along, Wendy said, “This place is nicer than I remembered it.”

  “Has it been a while since you’ve been in?” Liddy asked, keeping up with the small talk.

  “Yes, I grew up in the area, but this hotel was pretty rundown back then.” She glanced around. “There have been some improvements.”

  “And hopefully there will be more soon.” Liddy stopped inside the area that she and Trace had recently begun referring to as “the library.” “As you can see, we’ve added some classic books to the shelves. I’m not sure what Mr. Riley had in mind, exactly, but I could see this area being a start for you. Do you think the artwork you’re planning to install would work here? Are the walls and lighting right?”

  A full smile broke out on Wendy’s face. “I do. Wow … yes, this would be awesome.”

  “Of course, depending on how many pieces you’re planning to show, I suppose you could use some of the hallway space around the corner.” Liddy suspected that no one would miss the plastic-framed paintings that had hung on those walls since the 80s.

  Thomas wheeled a cart full of luggage by. He threw a lopsided grin at Liddy and a rather obvious leer at Wendy.

  “He’s cute,” Wendy said.

 
“Well, he likes to think so anyway.” Liddy shook her head. “Anyway, I think you could—”

  “You know Beau and I had dinner together the other night.”

  Wendy’s interruption startled Liddy, but she managed not to react. “I heard that.”

  “All he did was talk about you.”

  Liddy blinked, trying to measure the tone of the young woman’s voice. “That’s right. You mentioned he told you to talk to me about your art show idea.”

  “Not that so much. Yes, he said that, but he kept lapsing into stories about how funny you were, and how you talk a lot but he likes hearing your voice.” She shook her chin slightly. “It was kind of annoying.”

  Liddy raised her brows but said nothing.

  “Anyway, I tried to find you at church to tell you all this, but our paths never crossed.”

  “It’s a big place.”

  “Sure.” She slid the binder she’d been holding in front of her beneath one arm, and held out the other to shake Liddy’s hand. “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you for showing me this area. I will get a proposal to Mr. Riley within the week.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “And Liddy? You should talk to Beau. He looks like hell.” Then she pivoted away.

  * * *

  “I have some papers for you to sign, but by the looks of that avalanche on your desk, I should’ve brought my own pen.”

  Beau glanced up to find Taylor leaning against the doorway to his office.

  Taylor smirked. “Jill let me in,” he said.

  Beau sat back and rubbed his face with both hands. How long had he been stuck in here, mired in paperwork? “Didn’t realize you’d be here already.”

  “Jill warned me that you’ve been pretty preoccupied these days, so I told her I’d go all tough love on you for her.”

  Beau crossed his arms. “She’ll be getting a pink slip tomorrow.”

  Taylor plucked a page from a disheveled stack. “Man, what is all this stuff? Don’t you know this is the age of machine? No one should have this much paper scattered across his desk.”