Travels With a Fairytale Monster

by Elizabeth Gannon

  “Hush, swab.” Uriah lightly batted him on the head, like he was a disobedient child. “The adults are talking.” He prowled forward. “My friends, I’m a man of my principles.”

  “Or lack thereof.” His partner added.

  “Yes, or lack thereof.” He agreed. “But I still consider myself a businessman…”

  “This is piracy, Uriah,” Ransom reminded him, “not an address to parliament.” She shook Ryle. “Get to our point.”

  “I don’t give a shit if you consider yourself a businessman. I don’t give a shit if you consider yourself a fucking penguin. Either way, I could kill you before you even have a chance to scream.” Dom told him coldly, stepping towards him. His voice was a low dangerous growl.

  “Oh, I’m sure you could, yes.” Uriah nodded, stepping forward to meet him. “I daresay there isn’t anything a man your size couldn’t do, now is there?” He looked over at his companion. “Can you think of anything a giant can’t do, Rance?”

  Ransom yanked Ryle’s head further back to expose more of his neck to the blade. “Bring back the dead.” She supplied in her raspy mutter.

  “Excellent point, Dove.” Uriah nodded in agreement. “This young man’s imminent passage would likely be final, wouldn’t it?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Giant or no giant, my partner is about to make your betrothed an only child. Unless I get that which was promised to me. Right now.”

  “You know we don’t have your money, Uriah!” Taylor argued. “You knew that when you came with us!”

  “I was supposed to be paid at the Crossroads.” He looked around. “I see no payment. And I will not go to the capital with you, because I no longer trust your intentions.”

  “My intentions?” Dom pointed at Ryle. “You touch that boy and there’s nothing on this earth that’ll keep me from stomping you both into the ground. That’s what I intend to do.”

  “But he’ll still be dead.” Ransom stated matter-of-factly, her voice cold.

  “Indeed.” Uriah agreed. “I fail to see how exactly our gigantic friend’s actions would rectify the fact that this delightful young scamp had already crossed over to Fiddlers Green?” He sounded confused.

  “Wouldn’t.” His partner agreed.

  “And short of prayers for his darling little soul, I can’t conceive of any way you could help him after that.” Uriah continued for her. “And your mate couldn’t stand losing her brother. Which means that as long as I have him, I have her, and thus I have you. And soon, one of you had better pay me, or all of you will be sorry.”

  “You’d really kill a perfectly innocent man because you think we’re going to betray you?” Taylor asked, feeling panicked about the situation but not really believing he’d do it. He was an asshole, but not a cold-blooded murderer. Or at least... she hoped not.

  “No, of course not.” Uriah snorted in dismissal then pointed at his partner. “I’m planning on killing a perfectly innocent man because she thinks you’re going to betray us.” He held up a finger. “The number one rule of life on my crew: listen to Ransom.”

  “She’s about to get you killed.” Dom warned. “There’s no coming back from this for you.”

  “I don’t intimidate well, ogre.” Uriah told him flatly. “You’re dangerous, yes. But as my darling mother always used to say,” He met his gaze, “All venomous snakes are edible.”

  Dom hit him. Hard. He knocked the man clear off his feet and through one of the nearby road signs, and Uriah went sprawling in the mud, head over heels.

  Ransom pulled her hand back over her head and prepared to drive her blade straight through Ryle’s chest.

  Taylor screamed. “NO!”

  “Hold!” Uriah yelled at his partner, putting up his hand. He got back up from the mud, readjusting his jaw. “Nice shot.” He told Dom, nodding in approval. “But I’m from the Grizzwood. I’ve taken worse.” He stalked back into the road. “And the first thing my family ever taught me was how to think with my fists. So, I’d be happy to continue this ‘debate’ with you, and maybe you would end up on top in the end, I don’t know. But I do know that if you kill me, then my partner kills the swab. And if you move against her…” He trailed off and looked at Taylor meaningfully and then back at Dom. “Well, then I’d have to do something I wouldn’t like very much.” He spread his arms out. “So, we all have pieces on the board we can’t live with losing, so the way I see it, we’re at an impasse here.” He spoke louder to address his partner, never taking his eyes off Dom. “Dove, a lot of money, and our lives are on the line at the moment.” His face serious, waiting for her decision. “Make the call.”

  She was silent for a moment, then shook her head. “No.”

  He nodded as if that was all he needed to hear. “Alright then. Full stop. You people go your way and we’ll go ours. Fare thee well, safe travels and may your gods be with you.” He gave a theatrical bow to Taylor. “So it seems our celebrated association has come to its completion at last. No hard feelings. I would have done the same thing, had you been the trusting businessman and I been the unscrupulous client looking to get something for nothing.” He ruffled Ryle’s hair. “And don’t worry, we won’t harm the little swab.” He backed away, putting his hand on Ryle’s shoulder. “Come lad, during your captivity, my partner and I shall impart upon you the labyrinthine intricacies involved with mastering the piratical arts.”

  “You don’t get to walk away once you hurt my woman’s family.” Dom reminded him, stalking closer.

  “Not to quibble, but the last surviving member of a doomed race probably isn’t the best choice of person to threaten me.” Uriah challenged. “After all, if your people were really that effective as warriors, you wouldn’t exactly be the last of them, now would you?”

  “The others sure died easy enough.” Ransom agreed.

  “But don’t worry, we’ll be glad to turn him loose once we’re safely away.” Uriah took another step back. “Call me suspicious, but I fear that if I were to set him free now, I might fall victim to some sort of physical violence. But he will be freed once we reach a safe distance. Or once you pay us.”

  “Trust us.” His partner agreed.

  “You can’t just take him.” Taylor insisted. “He’s my only family.”

  Uriah pursed his lips in thought. “How much do we care about that, Rance?”

  “Less than a shit.”

  He turned back to them. “Less than a shit.” He repeated, as if genuinely communicating her words to them. “Sorry.”

  “Listen,” Taylor followed them, “I swear to you, you will get your payment, but you can’t take Ryle.”

  “I believe I can and am currently in the process of doing just that.” He pulled Ryle back another few steps. “Call me a pessimist, but given your lack of candor on other issues, I think I’ll just take the swab and my silver scepter and call it a day.”

  “You can’t have the Mace of the Kings either.” Dom bit out. “You were never getting that.”

  Uriah let out a laugh of amusement. “Good Gods! You people are just incredible!” He chuckled again, almost like he was genuinely enjoying this. “I pride myself on being a liar, but you people have even me beat! I bet those aren’t even your real names!”

  “I will get you your money if I have to steal it myself, Uriah.” She told him, trying to defuse the situation. “I always keep my promises, and I swear to you, if you let Ryle go, you will get your payment. I will make it my priority.”

  “Taylor, with all due respect,” Uriah met her gaze, “fuck off.” He took another step away. “We’re leaving.”

  “No.” Dom shook his head. “You’re not. I’m going to…” Dom reached up to swat at something on his neck like he’d been bitten. He pulled out a small dart-looking object and squinted down at it in confusion.

  Taylor looked up at him, suddenly getting worried. “What is that? Are you okay?”

  Dom nodded, but looked unsteady on his feet for some reason.

  “Oh, yes...” Uriah sna
pped his fingers as if just remembering something. “Did we forget to mention the fact that Ransom had Dobbs sell you to your enemies this morning?” He laughed with good humor, as a squad of Baseland soldiers stepped into view from the woods beside Dom. “It must have simply slipped our minds in all the excitement over your betrayal.” He paused. “Thanks again for that, by the way. I like surprises.”

  “They’re the best clients ever.” His partner agreed sarcastically.

  Taylor’s eyes narrowed in fury. “You bastard…”

  “I told you that I have overheads to consider.” Uriah defended. “And well, you really shouldn’t discuss the fact that you’re double-crossing someone when they’re within earshot, now should you? Especially when they have very good hearing, like my partner.”

  “Told you.” Ryle gloated. “I’ve been saying that this whole time. Haven’t I been saying that this whole time?”

  “So, Ransom overheard your conversation this morning and realized that you’d never pay us.” His eyes narrowed. “But someone else will. All she had to do was send Dobbs out to find your pursuers and…” He trailed off meaningfully.

  “We had a deal!” Taylor cried.

  Uriah shrugged, as if helpless to fight against market realities. “Whoever pays the piper…“

  “…calls the tune.” His partner snarled for him, obviously still unhappy over the idea that someone would try to take advantage of her captain.

  Several more darts hit Dom and he fell forward into the mud, unconscious.

  Taylor screamed in panic, trying to pull them free from his body.

  “Never try to double-cross a Grizzwoodian of the criminal class, Taylor.” Uriah advised calmly. “We’re better at it than you.”

  “Well, well, well…” Someone said from the tree line, and Taylor’s blood ran cold. “If it isn’t my lost soldiers and their pet.” To Taylor’s horror, Buggane appeared beside her, looking amused and smug. “I missed you.”

  “You son of a bitch!” Taylor started to get to her feet. “Get away from Dom!”

  Unfortunately, the man was already too close and she had no real time to strategize or brace herself. Buggane punched her in the face and she saw stars.

  “You fucking animal!” Ryle tried to pull away from the Baseland soldiers who were binding his hands. “Don’t you touch her!”

  “You mean like this?” Buggane kicked her in the face, splitting her lip.

  Ryle’s struggles increased to such ferocity that it took two more soldiers to hold him back, until one of them finally clubbed him over the head and Ryle collapsed.

  Buggane kicked her in the head again and Taylor’s vision began to blur. She tried to get to her feet again, but all she could manage was to roll over. She reached for Dom weakly, her fingers just touching his arm.

  Ransom took a step back towards her partner, her face unsure. “Uriah?” The word came out with a slight edge of something close to panic, obviously not liking the way this was going.

  “I know, Dove.” He assured her, standing closer to her. “I got this.” Uriah stepped forward, looking deeply unhappy with Buggane. “I think what you and I are…” He trailed off as a new figure stepped into the road.

  Dressed all in black and carrying a blow dart pipe, the man looked dangerous. Whoever he was, Uriah apparently recognized him, because whatever he’d been about to say was forgotten.

  The pirate bowed his head slightly in greeting. “Stendec.”

  “Uriah.” The man murmured in greeting, then tipped his large brimmed hat at Ransom. “Ma’am.”

  Uriah arched an eyebrow. “Murder anyone interesting today?”

  “Never the people I want to.” Stendec assured him casually nudging Dom with the toe of his boot to make sure he was unconscious.

  Uriah nodded in exaggerated understanding. “Ah, the silent pain of the hired killer.”

  “Uriah…” Ransom spoke up in warning, trying to keep her partner from getting killed right there.

  “It’s fine, Dove.” He waved off her concern, sounding entirely nonchalant. “The Ghostmaker and I go way back.”

  “Unfortunately.” Stendec muttered, putting the blow gun away. He pointed at Dom and looked back at the soldiers. “Get this one loaded up, he’s wanted at the capital.”

  Buggane flipped Taylor over roughly, kneeling down beside her. “You go on ahead.” He ran his hand down her face. “This one and I have unfinished business.”

  “That was not a part of this deal.” Uriah warned, his hand tightening on the hilt of his sword. “You and I are about to come to a serious disagreement. Step. Back.”

  Stendec turned to pin him with a withering look, then refocused on Buggane. “I don’t have time for your shit.” He told Buggane bluntly, his voice utterly low and dispassionate. “The pirate’s right. Your dick comes outta your pants and it won’t make it back in.” He met the other man’s gaze. “Do you understand me?”

  Buggane turned ashen and backed away.

  Stendec refocused on his work. “Not my business what happens after I get you all to the capital, because at that point, I’m done with this job. But until then, no one does anything to anyone without my say so. I’d string you all up right now if I thought it wouldn’t slow me down.”

  Buggane nodded. “It’s just that she…”

  “Shut your mouth.” Stendec snapped, cutting him off, his voice still soft and gravelly. “I don’t care what she did. I don’t care what you do once I’m gone. All I care about is getting the ogre to the capital so that I can get paid. Anything else is just noise.”

  Several soldiers grabbed Taylor under her arms and pulled her to her feet, but she was still too weak to stand. They dragged her towards the cart.

  “I’ve heard that before.” Uriah laughed, in what was a fair impression of his usual carefree attitude. But it was perfectly obvious that this wasn’t going the way he’d planned either. “Getting paid seems to get more and more difficult once these people are involved though.”

  Stendec started towards the cart, then pointed at the pirates. “Them too.” He decided.

  Uriah’s smile faded, his eyes remaining fixed on Stendec. “You have to understand that this is something that you and I are going to discuss the next time we see each other, bounty hunter.”

  The Ghostmaker glanced down at the rings on Uriah’s fingers. “Looking forward to it.” He pushed past him on the road, appearing more amused than scared by the threat. “Goodbye, pirate.” He tipped his hat to Ransom again. “Ma’am.”

  The soldier heaved Taylor into the cart where she landed on top of Dom and lost consciousness.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Dom went in and out of consciousness for the next few hours, the world a total blur.

  Whatever they had hit him with, it was strong.

  It took a lot to take down an ogre.

  When he finally came to, he was sitting in a metal cage somewhere he didn’t recognize. That wasn’t his problem though. He’d spent most of his life in a cage, not always knowing where he was. No, his problem was that he was in this mysterious place alone.

  Taylor was nowhere to be seen, which filled him with a terror he’d never before known. Had it only been him involved in this, he wouldn’t be overly worried. He’d get out of it or he’d die, and in either case, no big loss.

  But Taylor being unaccounted for was not something he could stand.

  He tried to get to his feet, but found his legs were still too weak and he fell onto the stone floor again.

  Dammit!

  He needed to get out of this place and go find out what had happened to his mate, and he needed to do it now. He’d spent his entire life yearning for that woman and now that she’d finally shown up, he wouldn’t lose her to some stupid human army.

  He pissed on human armies! He didn’t care how many of them there were, he was getting his mate back. There was no question about that in his mind.

  …if she was still alive.

  A fresh wave of terror
filled him.

  They had taken him because he still had some value as a weapon to them. But Taylor? She wasn’t a warrior. Would they murder her so that she didn’t interfere with their plans? To be quite honest, they’d be fools not to. Bringing her along was just asking for trouble. She was clever and resilient, kidnapping her would only end with her escape and their defeat.

  But would they recognize that fact? Or would they see her merely as a little human who made nonsensical clothes for other little humans?

  He tried to get to his feet again.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Someone advised calmly from the shadows.

  Dom ignored the advice, but was still too weak to stand and instead toppled back to the floor, smashing his head on the stones.

  He swore in ogreish.

  “My, such language.” The male voice made a disapproving sound. “Is that what they taught you in the mountains?”

  Dom’s eyes narrowed, starting to feel like something was wrong here. For one, Dom couldn’t smell any humans in the room. And for another… that accent was not human.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to introduce myself.” The mysterious visitor stepped into the light. “My name is Stallo.”

  An ogre stood in front of him.

  Dom blinked in amazement, unused to seeing his own people after all these years of being the only one alive. This ogre was older than Dom, but looked heavier and more distinguished. He hadn’t been tortured in a cage or forced to fight in wars he didn’t understand. This ogre was allowed to do exactly what he wanted to do.

  And then Dom fully processed the name.

  “Murderer!” He growled in fury, trying to get to his feet again. “You betrayed our people!”

  Stallo rolled his eyes. “I set our people free.”

  “You killed them all!” Dom spat out. “You told the humans where we were hiding and how to get into the hidden lands!”

  “You can’t hide from destiny, my little Og-let.” Stallo shrugged, as if that were obvious. “There was room for exactly one ogre among the humans. They wouldn’t have allowed us all to live. At least my way, one of us survived in freedom.”