Travels With a Fairytale Monster

by Elizabeth Gannon

  She snorted in dismissal, moving to press her breast into his mouth again. “Why do you think I made a half dozen of them?” She put her head back and moaned as his sharp teeth closed over her nipple. “Burn the goddamn things.” She ran her hands through his hair, trying to pull him closer. “I’m yours. And I’ll just make more of them.” She let out a small sound of bliss. “Besides, I think I’m the one who technically burned it off me by accident this time. I want my giant bad.”

  “You are the queen now.” He agreed, moving his mouth to give her other breast similar attention. It had thus far been overlooked and it needed to be explored and tasted. “So I have to listen to you.”

  “Absolutely. I’m entitled.” She pumped her hips faster.

  She shifted in his grasp to wrap her legs around him, pressing herself against him. His own loincloth began to burn from his body due to her heat.

  He frowned slightly in surprise. “That fabric is fireproof.”

  “Not from me it isn’t.” She thrust her hips against him, grinding herself against his exposed erection as his fingers moved inside her. “Want me to show you how hot I can be?”

  “I know how hot you can be.”

  “You haven’t seen anything yet.” She promised. “Let me show you.” She climaxed around his fingers, her entire body arching in his grasp.

  Flames began to surround them, fueled by their mutual passion.

  He reached down to his own aching body and positioned himself at the warm center of her, which was glistening with desire and offering welcome.

  “Hurry…” She whispered. “I still need you…”

  He slipped inside her, his gaze locking with hers as his body filled her in one long, forceful push. His mate’s tight body embraced him, her hips instantly moving with his.

  He nuzzled her neck. “I love you so much…” He murmured in her ear, his hands on her rear, moving her body against him slowly.

  “I love you too…” She breathed, resting her forehead against his. “But please stop holding back…”

  His eyes opened. “It’s not a good idea.”

  “Leave the planning to me, baby.” She kissed him, gently closing her teeth over his lower lip for a moment. “Your mine.” She shook her head in certainty. “You won’t hurt me.”

  Her words almost broke through the last scrap of control he had and it took everything in him to fight it. “It’s… not…”

  She met his eyes. “Trust me like I trust you.” She put both her hands up to his face, her soft human skin warm against his rough features. “Please…”

  And his control broke free entirely.

  His body surged into her now, harder and faster.

  She let out a small cry, apparently surprised by how much he wanted her.

  He moved to press her up against one of the pillars, grinding her up against it as he filled her.

  “Oh, wow!” She called again, her head leaning against the stone as her body slid against it with each thrust, sandwiched between the cold unyielding stone and the fiery contours of his hard body.

  He began to kiss her neck again, loving the feel of her breasts as they pressed against him.

  Her legs locked around him tighter, to the point of pain. She wasn’t used to her newfound strength yet and her legs were coming close to breaking his ribs.

  He found he could bear the pain quite well however and channeled it back into his movements.

  She bit her lower lip and arched against him again. “I’m… I’m so close…” She breathed desperately.

  “I know.” He nodded. “I know, baby, I know…”

  He pressed fully into her again and she came for him, her entire beautiful little body growing taunt. She gasped his name, spasming around his thick body as he filled her. The love in her eyes as she arrived and the feel of her body in his grasp, pushed him over the edge.

  He exploded, continuing to move as he rode out the waves of his climax.

  When the ripples of their shared love finally subsided, they were both left panting for air.

  “Wow.” She breathed again, gently sliding back to the floor. “I think I’m going to like being queen.”

  He nodded, feeling exhausted but still enjoying the feel of his woman’s body as it moved across his skin. She’d need to make new dresses quickly, because she would run out of them within the day. “That was a good plan.” He agreed. “Step two was my favorite.”

  Around them, it looked like some kind of bomb had detonated in the room, however. Even the furniture which had somehow survived the battle were now singed or on fire, and an outline of her body was scorched into the marble pillar from where he had pressed her against it. He hadn’t known such a thing was even possible, but it apparently was when his mate was involved.

  The Pyra this time had been a bigger inferno than ever.

  Humans really needed to get more durable furnishings.

  He’d have to fireproof the palace.

  “If you liked step two,” she teased, reaching up to pull him into a kiss, “wait until you see step three of my plan.”

  Epilogue

  Taylor sat on her new throne, debating baby names.

  She needed something which said “royalty” but not “total douchebag.”

  The task was surprisingly difficult.

  She didn’t know if she was technically pregnant yet, but she had the strangest feeling that she was. She wasn’t sure why, but she’d learn to trust her instincts on such things. She was pretty good at it.

  For his part, Dom not only believed that she was expecting, but was treating the matter as an utter certainty.

  He was already researching ways to fireproof a nursery.

  “Human names are all ridiculous.” He advised, as if he were an expert on human culture. “My baby deserves a good strong Ogreian name.” He thought for a moment. “Like… ‘Na’houl’zedadian’.” He nodded persuasively. “It means ‘the Devourer of Foes’.”

  “Umm…” She pursed her lips in thought. “I’m not saying that it’s not a bad name, mind you, but I was just kinda hoping for something that I physically have the ability to pronounce.”

  His smile faded.

  “I’ll… I’ll add it to the list though.” She wrote it down, completely guessing at the spelling. “Maybe it’ll grow on me.”

  And she’d apparently have plenty of time to get used to it, because in addition to her increased strength, she was evidently living a lengthened lifespan now, thanks to her ogre-Pyra-whatever-thing. All in all, having a soulmate who was an ogre had so many advantages.

  The news that she’d consider the name appeared to please him and he went back to staring at his paperwork. He’d taken it upon himself to recapture and then reconstruct her village, and thus far, it seemed to be going well.

  As with almost everything he did, he had complete confidence in his ability to restore her childhood home to its former glory.

  Well… to be fair, it had never actually been ‘glorious’. But it had been hers and it had been loved, and really… wasn’t that what was important? Perfection was boring, anyway.

  Sometimes, what grew after the fire was more interesting than what had come before.

  All in all, she was feeling very good. Very optimistic about the future. And more and more convinced that she was very pregnant.

  It was…

  The doors to the palace flew open unexpectedly and Uriah strode in like a treasured friend and conquering hero.

  He spread his arms wide upon seeing Dom. “There’s the Grizzwood’s favorite son!” He was grinning ear to ear, in friendly self-assurance. “Always nice to see a local boy make good.”

  Dom dropped his paperwork. “You got a lot of nerve showing your face here again.” He bit out.

  “Why?” The pirate put on an act of mock confusion. “Whatever for?”

  “You kinda lied to us, Uriah.” Taylor reminded him. “And sold us out.”

  “That wasn’t a lie,” Uriah sounded insulted, but was obvi
ously stalling as his mind raced for some way to explain the situation “…why, that was a surprise!” He beamed in triumph, his voice taking on a fake level of happiness. He glanced over at his companion. “Oh, you should see the looks on their faces, Dove. I told you we had them fooled.” He chuckled good-naturedly. “I will admit, I was worried though.” He pointed at his associate with his thumb. “This one can’t keep a secret and I thought for sure she’d give away our clandestine little charade. And then the Baselanders would catch on to how expertly we got you into the capital, exactly as we agreed upon. But our surprise held. None of you had any idea what we were planning.” He glanced at her again. “But Ransom almost ruined that by blathering on, didn’t you?”

  “Guilty.” The woman deadpanned, her hoarse tone utterly flat.

  He put his hand up to his mouth in a conspiratorial stage whisper and pointed at Ransom. “Flibbertigibbet.” He nodded, as if driving home the point.

  “You betrayed us, you son of a bitch.” Dom growled, rising to his feet. “I’m going to have you executed.”

  Uriah scoffed. “Oh, we could go back and forth all day about who betrayed whom.” He rolled his eyes, as if unconcerned with such petty affairs. “Frankly, I’m willing to just put that whole sordid mess behind us before news of it leaks out to our people and it becomes deleterious to our reputations as freedom fighters. Just think of how disillusioned our subjects would become with us, their new rulers.”

  “I’m just going to kill you.” Dom announced, as if coming to the realization as he spoke it. “I really, really am.”

  “No, you’re not.” Taylor waved him back. “Don’t let him get under your skin.” She ran her hand across her husband's chest. “You’re a father now.”

  “Yes, yes. And we’re all very happy for you over that joyous news, aren’t we, Dove.”

  “Ecstatic.” The woman deadpanned.

  Taylor couldn’t help but snort in amusement at the delivery.

  “What do you want, Uriah?” Taylor asked, turning back to him. “You have no desire to go into government, so why are you here?”

  “I’m here for my payment, of course.” He announced. “I realize that we had a brief… cultural misunderstanding, but I fulfilled my end of the bargain and would now like remuneration.”

  “I’m not giving you shit!” Dom sounded almost insulted by the mere suggestion that he would give the man anything. “You almost got me sold back into slavery and my wife raped by her psychotic commanding officer!” He shook his head in certainty, incredulity filling his tone. “No!”

  Taylor let out a long breath.

  Technically, the pirate was correct.

  He had gotten them into the capital, as promised. Kinda.

  And he was catching Taylor on a very good day.

  “Pay him.” He instructed her husband simply. “A deal is a deal, he’s right.”

  Dom’s mouth hung open in total amazement. “What!?!”

  She shrugged. “Pay him. We have the money now and we don’t need another enemy.” She turned to face the pirate. “Thank you for your assistance, Uriah. Now please take your payment and never come back to my kingdom. Ever.”

  He bowed his head in smug satisfaction. “Would it be too discourteous to tell you both how anxious I am to abide by those wishes? Avoiding this horrible place will be the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

  Dom let out a long sigh. “You’re right. A deal is a deal.” He turned back to Uriah. “I will give you everything I promised you.”

  “Really?” Uriah’s eyebrows soared. “I expected more of a fight between you and your better half.”

  Dom smiled in sinister glee. “Trust me.”

  ******

  “Goats are deceptively heavy, Dove.” Uriah complained, trudging down the muddy road which led from the capital and out into the countryside, leading his payment along behind him. “It seems like I should have been able to carry more than one of them.”

  “Two’d be better.” Ransom agreed calmly.

  “But not as good as three.” He heaved a dramatic sigh. “And there is the trouble with this world, in a nutshell, and why it’s in the state that it’s in. Everyone always wants more. No one is ever satisfied with what they have.”

  “One goat.” She summarized.

  “There’s no need to be greedy, Dove.” He chastised. “Greed is what keeps one from achieving his dreams.”

  “Owning a goat is your dream?” She asked in apparent amazement. “Since when?”

  He ignored her unproductive sarcasm. “Greed and drink, as my mother used to say, are the paving stones to ruination. Were it not for whiskey and gold, every man could be a king.”

  He waited for his partner to reply to that in some manner, but her characteristically reserved continence returned.

  He pursed his lips in thought. “I believe I shall name our newest crewman ‘Goat.’” He decided, staring down at their pet. “I still don’t know what we’re going to do with him.”

  “Eat it?” Ransom suggested, a note of hope in her voice.

  “I’m not going to eat Goat!” He rolled his eyes, appalled at the suggestion. “Generally, I always try to shy away from eating crewmen… unless there is no other option.” He looked down at the goat. “Best to just let the animal go and be done with it.” He took the rope from its neck and shooed the creature on its way. “Fair winds and calm seas, little friend.”

  “Could have sold it.” Ransom sulked, her scarred but breathtakingly perfect face forming the most delightful little pout as she crossed her arms over her chest.

  “The funds we would have received would have done us no practical good, Dove. We’d be in the same destitute position whether we sold the goat or set it free. Sadly, our poverty is not a single copper deep.” He watched as the goat bounded away into the underbrush, rejoicing in its freedom. “And in such cases, I find it’s best to always do the right thing… when doing the wrong thing has no financial advantage.” He started down the path again, feeling oddly good about releasing the animal. “That’s the way I’ve always done things and that’s how I’ve managed to get where I am today.”

  “Hungry, homeless, and broke.” She summarized again. “Don’t even have a goat anymore.” She started down the road again after him. “The dream has died.”

  He chuckled at her utterly dry tone. “I have the company of a talented crew, a clear blue sky over my head, and the promise of adventure on the horizon.” He reached out his arm to help her over a rough patch in the road. “And Lord knows I have my looks.” He gave a low whistle, as if impressed with himself. “Good gods, woman, have I got looks.” He glanced over at her. “You can’t actually appreciate them, obviously, but just knowing that they’re there should fill you with such pride.”

  She made an unimpressed sort of “Humph” sound. “I’ll take money and food.”

  “You couldn’t have both eaten Goat and sold him anyway, Dove.” He reminded her. “You can’t have it both ways.”

  “Lot of meat.” She countered. “Eat some, sell the rest.”

  “The simple fact remains that Goat is…”

  A man interrupted their philosophical debate by stumbling out of the trees and falling into their path. He made a weak breathy sound, arrows sticking from his chest in several places. He reached for Uriah from the dirt. “…Too …many… Cap’n Uriah…” The man gave a weak salute. “…Just like that time you and I… got into that scrap in…” He winced in pain and his arm fell back to the earth. He turned towards a small path he’d come down. “I… tried to…” Then he was silent.

  Uriah instinctively drew his sword and scanned the tree-line for more potential attackers, but saw none. He cautiously approached the man’s form and nudged him with the toe of his boot.

  The man didn’t move.

  Uriah put his swords away. “Well, Dove, it seems we have just born witness to yet one more grisly heartbreak while engaged in this ruinous venture.” He looked down in curiosity at the corpse. “W
as he one of ours?” He asked her, trusting completely that she’d somehow know, despite the fact that she couldn’t see the man’s face.

  “Sounded like Montanez.” Ransom supplied in her low whispered monotone, strolling up next to him.

  “Yes, Montoya. Poor dear boy.” He agreed immediately, as if the answer were obvious. He didn’t like her thinking that he didn’t pay any attention to the crew. That would certainly be an accurate appraisal of the situation, but he still didn’t want her to think it. “A great man and a loyal friend.” He nodded in appreciation. “Best gunner there ever was.”

  “Boatswain.” She corrected.

  He took on an appalled tone. “I am giving the man a posthumous promotion, Dove.” He explained quickly. “He earned that.”

  “Posthumous demotion.”

  “Are you really going to quibble over semantics at a time like this? I had no idea you were so petty.” He pointed at the corpse. “He died for us!” He cried, his voice almost mocking in its fake sincerity. He’d oversold it. Damn. “The least we can do for him is let him die with the position he always dreamed of!”

  “Entry level.”

  “If you really knew him as I did, you’d know he sought an uncomplicated life, far from the burdens of management.”

  “Pretty damned far, apparently.”

  “You are the most negative person I’ve ever met, Rance, you know that?”

  “Any further and he’d be the anchor.” She continued as if he’d never spoken.

  “I’m not even listening to you.” He shook his bowed head, still paying his respects to the dead. “You’re just talking to yourself right now. Just a cynical blind Adithian girl, spreading her negativity through the woods of Cormoran, like the wind spreads wildflower seeds.” He respectfully held his hat over his heart for a moment in honor of the dead, then brightened. “But this gentleman’s sacrifice will be remembered.” He held a finger towards the heavens, as if making a vow. “Montague will not have died in vain.” He bent down and casually began rifling through the man’s pockets, looking for anything of value. “There’s a brotherhood once you join up with us, as I’m sure you’ve experienced as well. We are not merely a crew, we are family. Montana’s name, legendary skill with the long guns, and delightfully noisome continence will live on forever in all of our hearts. And…” He trailed off as he sifted through the few coins he was able to steal from the corpse, then frowned up at his companion. “…and this poor fellow’s worldly goods are simply a testament to the fact that we really need to start paying our beloved crew more, Dove.” He dropped the cheap coins into her outstretched hand. “This is just sad.”