Unreal Alchemy
Page 17
She hesitated only for a fraction of a second. “C’mon Hebes, don’t be a drag…”
I reached out for her, my magic welling up in me like I was going to explode, like I was Sage-as-a-teenager, all power and no control. Like I was going to burn the world. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SISTER?”
She wasn’t Holly. But she sure as hell looked afraid of me. “I don’t…”
“Get out,” I said, very calmly, and not to her.
Domestic magic, even the gentle and embarrassingly gender-essentialist kind, has many uses. Mine had gone through such an emotional workout this weekend, it was on a hair trigger.
One of the first defensive spells the Mums ever taught me was the Eviction Enchantment. It only take two air runes and a few firm words, if your magical affinity is bound in house and home.
The campsite was mine, no matter what stamp Jules Nightshade and the others had put on it. I formed the runes with my fingers, and said the words.
The party vanished. I heard the muffled cries and protests as every unwanted visitor found themselves unexpectedly mashed in a pile, just outside on the path.
Holly — not Holly, as it turned out — was still in front of me. Juniper — not Juniper, Holly had been so sure of it and I hadn’t listened — was here too, looking wide-eyed and guilty, nervous in a completely different way to Juniper’s legit nervous face.
I’d been so wrapped up in my own stupid feelings, I had missed something really awful happening right under my nose.
“What did you do?” I demanded.
Not-Holly gave a weak laugh. “It’s just for fun,” she started to say.
I snapped.
My magic snapped.
There was a blinding haze that smelled of violets and cinnamon, and the earth literally quaked beneath us, rippling for a moment. When I could see straight again, there was a floral grandma couch where the campfire used to be, and both girls sat on it, pinned tightly by homicidal lace throw covers.
“WHERE IS MY SISTER?” I yelled at them. “WHERE IS MY FRIEND?”
Tents started unzipping. Sound muffling charms — and there must have been more than mine at work here — didn’t stop you feeling vibrations of the earth. Viola and Dec stumbled out, half-dressed, ready for a fight. Mei emerged, a mirror in each hand. Finally Ferd, wearing nothing but a pair of hastily-pulled-on jeans.
I heard cursing and shoving, and Sage and Jules appeared up the path, rumpled and sweaty, each holding a broom.
“What the fuck is with the fan convention out the front?” Sage demanded, making a beeline for me. “Babe, I felt you from a kilometre away, what’s going on?”
Ferd flicked him an irritated look at the ‘babe,’ but came to my side too. “Hebe?”
I pointed at the two girls on the sofa. “Halloween body swap episode,” I managed to choke out, infusing it with all the anger running through my body. Not a joke. So not a joke.
“Aw, hell,” said Dec.
Sage, Jules and Viola, the three most powerful witches in our friends group, turned upon the imposters, eyes flashing with magic.
“Where are your real bodies?” snarled Sage.
The fake Holly lifted her chin defiantly, but Jules created a glowing iceball in his left fist. A smell like an electrical storm began to roll off Sage.
“I’d answer the question,” said Viola crisply. Smoke was actually beginning to pour out of the cuffs of her elegant designer pyjamas. “We can find them without your help. But you’ll want all the brownie points you can earn if you expect us to show mercy at some point in the future.”
Not Juniper muttered the map references for their camp.
“We’ll go,” Jules told Sage, then motioned to Viola and Ferd. Ferd hesitated, and brushed my cheek with a light kiss before he went with his friends, knowing of course that Sage wouldn’t want to leave my side.
I loved him so much.
I should tell him more often.
Sage and I rarely work magic together. Our styles aren’t exactly compatible. But when Ferd and the others brought the two unconscious fangirls into our camp, along with the book detailing the spell they had used to possess Holly and Juniper, and several representatives from Winterfest Security, well…
It had to be both of us. His spark, and my hearth.
It was mostly another version of the Eviction Enchantment. With Sage’s power bleeding into mine, there was a smoothness to it, an ease I’d never felt before, even when it came to the simplest forms of my magic: feeding people, keeping them safe and clean.
There’s no one else Sage would trust enough to hand over the keys to everything he was capable of doing. He had the juice, but I had the control. Holding things in is my relationship flaw, but it’s also my superpower. We had to do this right, and carefully. We couldn’t afford to leave any damage.
Holly and Juniper opened their eyes, and the right people looked back at us.
“I’m going to kill them,” was the first thing Holly said.
Juniper burst into tears.
Holly turned around and flung her arms around Juniper protectively. “Sage can kill them,” she said benevolently.
“Too many witnesses,” said Sage.
“We’ll take your statements now,” said the Head of Winterfest Security with a discreet cough. “The police are on their way.”
“Okay,” I said shakily. “Okay.”
Viola Vale, standing nearest to me, gave me a worried look as if she thought I might hug her. She pushed Ferd at me instead.
Ferd gave the best hugs. “I want to go home,” I told his left shoulder as he wrapped me up like a parcel in his arms.
“If we pack up and leave before breakfast,” said Mei in an undertone. “We could be home by the time The Bromancers drops.”
I leaned around Ferd’s hug to glare at her across the campsite.
“Which… is not actually important right now,” she added. “Obviously.”
“No, it is,” Ferd said fiercely, hugging me harder. “Let’s go home, all of us, and you can watch your show.”
Oh yes. I loved him.
Chapter 14
The Intimate Thoughts of Miss Juniper Cresswell, Cellist and Committed Bromancers Fangirl.
MONDAY
Dear Diary
The part I’m having the hardest time reconciling myself to is that those girls were our fans. Our audience. They loved us. They wanted to be us, for a while.
It wasn’t a joke or a prank. They actually wanted to take our places in the world. Like they could do a better jobs of living our lives.
I could understand if they wanted to be beautiful, talented, charming Holly. I could understand if they wanted to be the powerful magical genius with drum-kit that is Sage.
The part I couldn’t quite wrap my head around was the girl who wanted to be me. I barely want to be me, most days. I’m nothing special. I’ve never quite been pretty enough, or thin enough, or confident enough. My family thinks I’m wasting my musical talent. My friends…
As it turns out, my friends are pretty great. And I have more of them than I imagined. Viola Vale spent most of her trip home working on a protection amulet which she later bound around my wrist, saying “Chauvelin would be furious if we let this happen to you again, Cresswell. So don’t take it off. Ever.”
I didn’t even think she knew my name.
After we gave our statements to the police, Sage drove the van back from Mandrake Sands. Holly and Hebe took the car, because Hebe wasn’t willing to let Holly out of her sight, and I rode in the back because Holly wasn’t willing to let me out of her sight. No one argued about it.
Dec, without anyone else prompting him, confiscated all of Mei’s devices, including mirrors and communication charms as well as her phone and laptop, so she wouldn’t be spoiled for the Bromancers finale. We left Mandrake Sands two hours later than we had hoped — it would air before we got home.
The flying carpet crew arrived back at the Manic Pixie Dream House first, and collecte
d all doonas, blankets, cushions and beanbags from both flats, piling them on the floor in the downstairs living room. It was somewhere between a nest and a pillow fort by the time Mei’s little VW pulled up, closely followed by the van.
Hebe kissed Ferd soundly for his work, causing Jules and Viola to complain they weren’t getting any of the credit, though of course neither of them especially wanted her to start kissing them.
Holly, still alarmingly possessive, snagged an arm around my waist, insisting I share a beanbag with her as we watched.
I…
I know better to think it means anything. She’s still Holly, and I’m still me. I’m not getting my hopes up in any romantic direction. I’m not stupid.
But it means the world to me, that she’s the one who noticed I was gone. That she missed me. That she fought for me. That right now, she doesn’t want to be anywhere but here, resting her chin on my shoulder, watching an episode of a show she doesn’t care about, with our friends.
She’s my friend, and I love that.
It’s enough.
The closing credits ran, and our group was silent for a moment.
MEI:
Holy &*^#!@$#$%^%^* (swear words deleted)
* * *
SAGE:
(very long sentence made up mostly of swearing)
* * *
HEBE (punching Ferd in the arm):
Cinnovate is canon, Cinnovate is canon!
* * *
HOLLY:
Which one is Cinnovate?
* * *
VIOLA:
Was he the pretty one?
* * *
FERD:
Tate’s the werewolf bro, Cinnovar is the
mysterious seer who lurks in shadows
and talks about doom all the time.
* * *
JULES:
Eli’s the bro who’s not a werewolf and
wasn’t kissing anyone, but took his shirt
off three times in the opening credits.
* * *
VIOLA:
You’ve both been secretly
watching this show without me.
* * *
FERD:
I pay attention to my girlfriend’s interests,
don’t know what Nightshade’s excuse is.
* * *
JULES:
He took his shirt off three times in the opening credits.
* * *
MEI:
Where are my devices? Where’s my mirror?
I don’t know what to think!
* * *
DEC:
Breathe, Mei. You’ll figure it out.
* * *
MEI:
But but but.
* * *
DEC:
I know, right?
* * *
MEI (hint of sadness):
But it wasn’t the bros.
* * *
SAGE:
Mei. Babe. You’ve been a Cinnovate shipper forever.
* * *
MEI:
But bros…
* * *
SAGE:
OK it would have been groundbreaking TV
if Eli & Tate had hooked up. But… Cinnovar and Tate, that’s also pretty ^%@#$ awesome, right?
* * *
DEC:
Yeah, c’mon Mei. One of the highest paid actors in US TV just kissed one of the other highest paid actors in US TV on the mouth. And you got to watch it in HD and comfort. You’ve had worse days.
* * *
MEI:
OMG I have to talk to the Internet right now.
And the MirrorWeb. Simultaneously.
* * *
SAGE:
Don’t get keyboard-burn on your fingertips again.
* * *
(MEI disappears from the scene in a cloud of squee)
* * *
HEBE (knocking foreheads with Sage):
So what did you think of the episode?
* * *
SAGE:
I think Cinnovar’s gonna break Tate’s heart.
No way this doesn’t end up with misery and
dead bisexuals all over Season 4.
* * *
HEBE:
So what, you think they should have got
Eli and Tate together instead?
* * *
SAGE (with covert look at Jules Nightshade
that he thinks no one noticed):
Nah. It’s pretty cool that the bros are
gonna stick to being friends.
As long as someone’s getting laid in this show.
Gentlewitches and ladygerms,
shall we lay bets now on how many
times shirts come off next season?
* * *
MEI (from the kitchen):
All the shirts!
* * *
HOLLY (leaning very close to me):
Are shirts optional in this show a lot?
* * *
MISS JUNIPER:
Every other week. But it doesn’t really
make sense if you start from here, the first
two episodes explain so much…
* * *
HOLLY (big sigh):
Fine. Let’s start from the beginning.
* * *
MISS JUNIPER:
You want to watch The Bromancers with us?
Like, all of it, from the beginning?
* * *
HOLLY:
Sure. Just with you, though.
Don’t tell my sister I’m interested.
She’ll be too smug.
* * *
MISS JUNIPER:
I guess we can watch them in my room over at halls?
* * *
HOLLY:
I’m all yours.
* * *
MISS JUNIPER:
(lost for words)
* * *
MISS JUNIPER:
(out of words error)
* * *
MISS JUNIPER:
Sounds great. Okay. Um. Let’s do that, then.
* * *
(Kermit flail)
(Kermit flail)
(Kermit flail)
Chapter 15
Sage and the Bro’d Trip
MONDAY ARVO
There’s only so much found family togetherness I can take.
I love my mates, and my band, and hell even Ferd’s weirdo posh hangers on, they’re all right.
But Cinnovate kiss or no Cinnovate kiss, I was in no place to be around other people.
As the nesting and viewing party started to morph into an actual party, with mirrors used to project kissing gifs all over the walls, I slipped out without anyone noticing I was gone.
I went downstairs to Dec’s art studio garage and wrote my song out, all over a pad of paper from the stash he kept in a drawer for me, when I was driving him up the wall. You know someone’s a true blue mate when he makes a special trip to Officeworks on your behalf.
The paper has little drums printed on it. The pens are purple with glitter. Sweet.
It wasn’t good yet, the song, but it was something. It was raw and real and mine. More importantly, it was written. Finally. On the fucking page.
Holly found me, an hour or two later. She had changed into pyjamas, though it was the middle of the day on a Monday. Students, right? We’re animals.
She also had two stubbies fresh out of the fridge, and who was I to turn down a friendly beer?
“Come on, then,” Holly said, swallowing from her own bottle. “Song me.”
I passed the pad over and she read critically, underlining a few words and phrases. “Bloody hell, Sage,” she said when she was done. “Is that what you’ve had in your head all week? No wonder you were driving everyone up the wall.”
“Don’t be jealous, babe, I know that’s usually your job…”
“Piss off,” she laughed, and read the song again. “This is… I mean, it’s not there yet. But it could be rea
lly good. All this stuff about — living without magic, living with too much magic. The shit they put you through when you were a kid. The double meaning in the ‘baby, where have you been all my life’ refrain. It’s — this could be huge. Like, mainstream huge. This is your ballad, Sage.”
“It’s not really Fake Geek Girl though, is it?”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “Looking to go solo, sweetie?” Which yeah, I was aware of the irony. Biggest fight we had this year was when I thought Holly was looking to build a career away from us, ditching Fake Geek Girl for the mainstream.
“I figured I’d sell it,” I huffed. “That agent who sold the song I wrote for Kraken, the one that got on the radio? He’s been asking for more stuff. Could make some serious bucks.”