Major Detours

by Zachary Sergi

  “Of course Perilli would write this on a makeshift Judgment card,” Chase says, focusing on the more obvious element of the card. “It’s the penultimate step in the Major Arcana, one final test of what you’ve learned on your journey.”

  “Not to mention reconciling with your past to move forward with your future,” I add, as the choice before me begins to crystallize.

  “It also means Perilli knew Brendan was going to found The Lianist Way organization,” Cleo adds. “I mean, he knew the name, so he had to have had a hand in Brendan’s work, on some level, right?”

  Hearing Cleo’s words, it adds yet another layer to this decision. But honestly, I’m done with layers. I know revelations like this would have decimated an earlier version of myself, riddling me with panic. But now I know that anxiety will always be a part of my life, a season to manage, like the tides changing or the moon phasing. Just like I now know remaining open and evolving through new experiences doesn’t obscure who I’ve been; it only enhances who I’m becoming.

  So once again, I know exactly what I need to do.

  I donate the deck to The Lianist Way, sliding it into the slot.

  Click here

  I keep the deck.

  Click here

  It might seem like a decision quickly made, but if this trip has taught me anything, it’s how to trust my instincts. This deck has given me so much, but now is the time to share this gift. Some might call it foolish to let go of something this valuable, but I know exactly what being foolish really means.

  However, I do decide to save one piece of it for myself. I still hold the Queen of Swords, separated from the rest of the deck. One way or another this deck was never meant to be complete, if only because I deserve to hold this piece of Grandma for myself.

  The deck disappears into the bowels of the Sworn monument, and from the moment it leaves my fingers, I feel light. I turn to Chase first, after making this decision. I don’t know if he agrees, but either way, he nods at me.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Logan asks first, once he senses my dust has settled. “Perilli and your grandma went to some pretty wild lengths to tell you this truth in a private way. So do you want his followers to know about your connection to him?”

  As always, the question Logan poses is a good one. Donating the deck was a gesture that doesn’t have just one potential meaning. I know I will need more time to process the exact implications of what this means, to unpack this legacy that has been left to me by these two pillared figures.

  But for now, I also know what purpose can best honor that legacy.

  “Donating the deck is my introduction to The Lianist Way, as a founding act. I want to be a part of this new Perillian organization.”

  Click here

  “Donating the deck is my goodbye to Perilli’s world, which I believe is really just filled with smoke and mirrors.”

  Click here

  Deciding so quickly might seem spontaneous of me, but I only act swiftly because I know this is the right choice.

  “I’m keeping the deck,” I announce, turning away from the Sworn monument. “It belonged to Grandma, in all the ways that matter most. Which means it belongs with me, always.”

  Looking to the others, everyone nods along in support—especially Chase.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Logan asks first, once he senses my dust has settled. “Perilli and your grandma went to some pretty wild lengths to tell you this truth in a private way. Do you want his followers to know about your connection to him?”

  As always, the question Logan poses is a good one. Keeping the deck was a gesture that doesn’t have just one potential meaning. Certainly I kept the deck to use as a tool and a guide, as a conduit of Grandma’s wisdom and a way keep having conversations of a kind with her. But this deck carries so much value, so much baggage and attention—so what is my practical intention?

  I know I will need more time to process the exact implications of what this means, to unpack this legacy that has been left to me by these two pillared figures. Still, for now, I know what purpose can best honor that legacy.

  “Keeping the deck was really an introduction to The Lianist Way. I want to help shape this new Perillian organization. Possessing this deck will grant me the influence I need to do so.”

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  “Keeping the deck was really my goodbye to Perilli’s world, which I believe is really just filled with smoke and mirrors.”

  Click here

  This final discovery has clearly unlocked an even more compelling mystery. I don’t know where the next chapter in this journey will take me; all I know is that I have to keep following my instincts. The role I have to play uncovering all of Grandma’s and Perilli’s truths is too important to ignore.

  “Well, I think I know what I’m doing next summer,” I say, turning to look at Logan, Cleo, and Chase. I then reach down to grasp my Dalet locket, pressing it against the Queen of Swords. Thinking of Grandma, I can only hope she’d be proud of this decision. Something tells me she would be. Really, that’s all I need to know.

  “We’re not quite done with these Perillian adventures yet, are we?”

  On our way back down the mountain, Chase and I hang behind. Maybe it’s because we’re reluctant to let this journey end, but it’s probably because we know we need to share this final moment together. The Major and The Minor, the perfect pair, uncovering our greatest mysteries together—the way it has always been.

  “Are you all right?” Chase asks first. “That was a lot to absorb.”

  “Weirdly, I am,” I answer, once again meaning it.

  “Well, for the record, I’m really proud of you,” Chase says, taking me by surprise. There are many other things he could say after everything we’ve been through, but he chooses these words. They mean everything to me.

  “Thank you,” I answer. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you. And I wouldn’t want to. We’re a team.”

  “Always,” Chase says, reaching out to grab my hand. “No matter what.”

  I take his hand, my way of thanking him for giving me the space to make this final decision on my own. Sensing this, Chase then looks like he has something else to share.

  “Now knowing Gran Flo was the true founder of Perillianism, it makes sense why they’d want us to join this new foundation,” he begins. “I didn’t know how to tell you this before, but now I’m glad I didn’t, so it didn’t influence you. But after The Hermetic Dawn, I actually exited through a different door than you all. Then Brendan invited me to become a Guide-in-Training for The Lianist Way.”

  I look back at Chase and see the choice he made written all over his face.

  Chase chose to accept the invitation to join The Lianist Way.

  Click here

  Chase chose to decline the invitation to join The Lianist Way.

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  Something tells me every time I solve one of Perilli’s mysteries, it will only lead to another. For now, my next chapter has to be defined by me and not anyone else.

  “As much as I hate to say it, this mystical trip is over,” I say, turning to look at Logan, Cleo, and Chase. “I think it’s time we returned to the real world, huh?”

  I then reach down to grasp my Dalet locket, pressing it against the Queen of Swords card. Thinking of Grandma, I can only hope she’d be proud of this decision. Something tells me she would be. Really, that’s all I need to know.

  “But who knows what kind of trouble we’ll get into next summer?”

  On our way back down the mountain, Chase and I hang behind. Maybe it’s because we’re reluctant to let this journey end, but it’s probably because we know we need to share this final moment together. The Major and The Minor, the perfect pair, uncovering our greatest mysteries together—the way it has always been.

  “Are you all right?” Chase asks first. “That was a lot to absorb.”

  “Weirdly, I am,” I answer, once again meaning it.

  “
Well, for the record, I’m really proud of you,” Chase says, taking me by surprise. There are many other things he could say after everything we’ve been through, but he chooses these words. They mean everything to me.

  “Thank you,” I answer. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you. And I wouldn’t want to. We’re a team.”

  “Always,” Chase says, reaching out to grab my hand. “No matter what.”

  I take his hand, my way of thanking him for giving me the space to make this final decision on my own. Sensing this, Chase then looks like he has something else to share.

  “Now knowing Gran Flo was the true founder of Perillianism, it makes sense why they’d want us to join this new foundation,” he begins. “I didn’t know how to tell you this before, but now I’m glad I didn’t, so it didn’t influence you. But after The Hermetic Dawn, I actually exited through a different door than you all. Then Brendan invited me to become a Guide-in-Training for The Lianist Way.”

  I look back at Chase and see the choice he made written all over his face.

  Chase chose to accept the invitation to join The Lianist Way.

  Click here

  Chase chose to decline the invitation to join The Lianist Way.

  Click here

  “So we both want to be a part of The Lianist Way,” I say, not surprised. “How could we resist? It’s an expression of the tarot we’ve used our whole lives.”

  “Especially at a turning point like this one, discovering what we have to contribute,” Chase replies. “The old me would have never thought of joining a spiritual organization this way. Though I wonder if college will change our minds about all of this?”

  “I doubt it,” I answer. “I think college will give us perspective, but doesn’t this just feel like it fits? This chance to build something real, a way to share all this fundamental knowledge with the world? I don’t know, it almost feels like—”

  I don’t finish, because the next words I almost speak take me by surprise.

  “You were going to say ‘like we were born to do this,’ weren’t you?” Chase asks, grinning

  “I was going to say ‘meant to do this,’ but same difference,” I answer, grinning too. “I certainly think we’re meant to follow through on the discoveries we made.”

  “Logan’s ears must be burning,” Chase says. “Some things really do change.”

  “Maybe it’s more like seasons changing? Different expressions of the same thing?”

  “I like that,” Chase says. “Kind of like you and me?”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “If this trip has taught me anything, it’s that we’re not as different as we used to think. Maybe our personalities, sure. But the things we value, our instincts, how we see the world—that’s all the same.”

  “Two faces of the same coin,” I say, emotion stirring in my chest. “Just like Grandma always said.”

  “Exactly,” Chase replies. “Which means a little distance won’t kill us. I think maybe it’ll only make us appreciate everything even more?”

  “And if not, we now have The Lianist Way to connect us,” I add. “This new expression of our old ways?”

  Chase nods and I smile. I then hook my arm through his as we continue our descent, my partner in turning this final page—and all the pages to come.

  Click here

  “You’re leaving all this in your rear view, aren’t you?” I ask.

  “I wouldn’t exactly put it that way,” Chase answers. “The tarot is always going be a part of my life—it’s the only spiritual center I’ve ever really trusted. And I am curious about The Lianist Way, but I’m not sure I believe in organizing spirituality this way. Or at least, I’m not sure I believe it’s right for me. Besides, I want to leave myself a bit of an open slate for college, to see what else I can discover.”

  “I’m going to do that, too, you know,” I say. “I just want to take all this along with me, in a more structured way. It’s a part of me, now more than ever. Especially after this final discovery.”

  Chase pauses, taking some silent steps before speaking again.

  “You know that you’re the part of all this I’m taking with me, right? Even if we’re not together every day, you’ll always be my best friend, Amelia.”

  Emotion stirs in my chest once again.

  “That goes without saying,” I reply. “But I’m glad you did, anyway.”

  The possessive side of me suddenly wants to hold on to Chase, to take this moment in time and freeze it forever. Instead, I allow us to flow forward. This trip has already changed both of us in so many ways. We can never go back to the way things were before, so why try?

  “But who is going to think things through for me?” I say, nudging Chase.

  “And who is going to take the leaps for me?” he says, nudging me back.

  “I guess we’ll have to keep doing those things for ourselves?”

  Chase hooks his arm through mine, and we walk forward together—even though we know we’re about to walk in very different directions. It feels empowering and terrifying at the same time.

  “Well, we’ve certainly learned we’re capable of a lot more than we ever thought, huh?” Chase asks.

  “Chase,” I begin, taking my time with these final words. “I think we’re capable of anything we set our minds to.”

  Click here

  “You decided to become a Guide for The Lianist Way, didn’t you?” I ask.

  Chase nods, looking a little guilty. “I mean, I’m still going to college. I probably won’t be back here until next summer, but—”

  “You don’t have to justify it,” I interrupt. “I’m walking away because I think it’s the best way to keep the tarot alive in my life, especially after this last discovery. But if this is your way of keeping that same tradition, I totally get that.”

  Chase pauses, walking several silent beats before responding.

  “Thank you. It’s new for me, the idea of belonging to an organized spirituality. But this feels… right. Just like it’s new for me to make decisions totally on my own. But I think between you and Logan, I’ve gotten too used to being someone’s other half. I think I need to find the whole version of myself.”

  It stings to hear these words. My instinct is to clamp down, to keep Chase by my side as my loyal best friend. Instead, I let that instinct flow away. Instead, I remember what my own renewed self is trying to learn: to believe in myself without anyone else’s stamp of approval. In an opposite kind of way, it’s a reflection of what Chase is striving for, too.

  “Maybe Cain was on to something with that whole phoenix motif?” I laugh. “Maybe we do have to burn away some of our old lives to enter the ones we want?”

  “Maybe, but here’s the thing about phoenixes,” Chase replies. “Even reborn shiny and new, they’re still the same old birds. They still rise from their own ashes, not someone else’s.”

  Chase turns to me as we continue walking, hooking his arm through mine.

  “Some things about us will never change. And for me, that’s having Amelia Piccolo as my best friend.”

  “The Emperor to my Empress,” I say, ignoring the urge to classify Chase as the Minor to my Major. That time feels like it has maybe passed.

  Chase and I might be setting out on diverging paths very soon, but these paths will always have started in the same place. So I just hope that means we’ll end up in the same place, too. Until then, we’ll always have this trip—and the tarot we inherited—to keep us connected.

  Click here

  “You’re walking away from all this, too?” I ask.

  “It feels kind of necessary, doesn’t it?” Chase answers. “How are we going to figure out who we’re supposed to be if we cling to the things we already know? Besides, I’ve never really been much for the whole organized religion thing.”

  “Yeah, the tarot feels more personal to me. But you already knew that.”

  “You’re really okay leaving behind this last part Peril
li and Gran Flo left you with?” Chase asks.

  “Maybe not forever,” I answer. “But definitely for now.”

  Chase and I catch each other’s eyes then, with looks full of meaning. In so many ways, we’re cut from the same cloth, despite all the ways we differ. Two halves of the same whole, smoothing out each other’s roughest corners. But what happens when you separate these halves? Whether we like it or not, that discovery is exactly what this next chapter has to be about.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about the Major Arcana’s end,” Chase says. “How it’s all about achieving a new consciousness, a new perspective. But even after shifts like this, you don’t enter a new world—you just see the same world differently. I have a feeling the lessons we just learned are lessons we’ll end up relearning the rest of our lives, over and over again in different ways.”

  “Okay, preacher Chase,” I laugh, nudging him. “What are you trying to say?”

  “I’m trying to say this,” Chase says, smiling too. “We always thought of ourselves as two halves of one whole, Minor and Major. But maybe we’re really meant to be two wholes, like The Sun and The Moon, existing separately, but always together in cycles. Speaking in non-tarot terms, I just mean that no matter how much we grow and change, you’ll always be my best friend.”

  Emotion stirs in my chest yet again, hearing Chase’s words.

  “Now you’re talking like a true king.”

  “And you too, my queen.”

  I lock arms with Chase as we walk. Impossible as it still seems, I start to feel the future arriving, like water staining the edges of paper. Things won’t ever be like they were before. But maybe, if we let them, things will be even better?