The Lady of the Barge

by W. W. Jacobs

"it's Ted's younglady."

  "Nothing of the kind," said the mate, sharply.

  "It's not? How dare you say such a thing?" demanded Miss Harris,stepping on to the deck.

  "Well, you brought her aboard, Ted, you know you did," pleaded theunhappy skipper.

  The mate did not deny it, but his face was so full of grief and surprisethat the other's heart sank within him.

  "All right," said the mate at last; "have it your own way."

  "Hold your tongue, Ted," shouted Mrs. Gibbs; "you're trying to shieldhim."

  "I tell you Ted brought her aboard, and they had a lover's quarrel," saidher unhappy spouse. "It's nothing to do with me at all."

  "And that's why you told me Ted had got the toothache, and tried to getme off to the chemist's, I s'pose," retorted his wife, with virulence."Do you think I'm a fool? How dare you ask a young woman on this barge?How dare you?"

  "I didn't ask her," said her husband.

  "I s'pose she came without being asked," sneered his wife, turning herregards to the passenger; "she looks the sort that might. You brazen-faced girl!"

  "Here, go easy, Loo," interrupted the mate, flushing as he saw the girl'spale face.

  "Mind your own business," said his sister, violently.

  "It is my business," said the repentant mate. "I brought her aboard, andthen we quarrelled."

  "I've no doubt," said his sister, bitterly; "it's very pretty, but itwon't do."

  "I swear it's the truth," said the mate.

  "Why did John keep it so quiet and hide her for, then?" demanded hissister.

  "I came down for the trip," said Miss Harris; "that is all about it.There is nothing to make a fuss about. How much is it, Captain Gibbs?"

  She produced a little purse from her pocket, but before the embarrassedskipper could reply, his infuriated wife struck it out of her hand. Themate sprang instinctively forward, but too late, and the purse fell witha splash into the water. The girl gave a faint cry and clasped herhands.

  "How am I to get back?" she gasped.

  "I'll see to that, Lucy," said the mate. "I'm very sorry--I've been abrute."

  "You?" said the indignant girl. "I would sooner drown myself than bebeholden to you."

  "I'm very sorry," repeated the mate, humbly.

  "There's enough of this play-acting," interposed Mrs. Gibbs. "Get offthis barge."

  "You stay where you are," said the mate, authoritatively.

  "Send that girl off this barge," screamed Mrs. Gibbs to her husband.

  Captain Gibbs smiled in a silly fashion and scratched his head. "Whereis she to go?" he asked feebly.

  "Wh'at does it matter to you where she goes?" cried his wife, fiercely."Send her off."

  The girl eyed her haughtily, and repulsing the mate as he strove todetain her, stepped to the side. Then she paused as he suddenly threwoff his coat, and sitting down on the hatch, hastily removed his boots.The skipper, divining his intentions, seized him by the arm.

  "Don't be a fool, Ted," he gasped; "you'll get under the barge."

  The mate shook him off, and went in with a splash which half drowned hisadviser. Miss Harris, clasping her hands, ran to the side and gazedfearfully at the spot where he had disappeared, while his sister in aterrible voice seized the opportunity to point out to her husband theprobably fatal results of his ill-doing. There was an anxious interval,and then the mate's head appeared above the water, and after a breathing-space disappeared again. The skipper, watching uneasily, stood by with alifebelt.

  "Come out, Ted," screamed his sister as he came up for breath again.

  The mate disappeared once more, but coming up for the third time, hung onto the side of the barge to recover a bit. A clothed man in the watersavours of disaster and looks alarming. Miss Harris began to cry.

  "You'll be drowned," she whimpered.

  "Come out," said Mrs. Gibbs, in a raspy voice. She knelt on the deck andtwined her fingers in his hair. The mate addressed her in terms renderedbrotherly by pain.

  "Never mind about the purse," sobbed Miss Harris; "it doesn't matter."

  "Will you make it up if I come out, then," demanded the diver.

  "No; I'll never speak to you again as long as I live," said the girl,passionately.

  The mate disappeared again. This time he was out of sight longer thanusual, and when he came up merely tossed his arms weakly and went downagain. There was a scream from the women, and a mighty splash as theskipper went overboard with a life-belt. The mate's head, black andshining, showed for a moment; the skipper grabbed him by the hair andtowed him to the barge's side, and in the midst of a considerable hubbubboth men were drawn from the water.

  The skipper shook himself like a dog, but the mate lay on the deck inertin a puddle of water. Mrs. Gibbs frantically slapped his hands; and MissHarris, bending over him, rendered first aid by kissing him wildly.

  Captain Gibbs pushed her away. "He won't come round while you'rea-kissing of him," he cried, roughly.

  To his indignant surprise the drowned man opened one eye and winkedacquiescence. The skipper dropped his arms by his side and stared at himstupidly.

  "I saw his eyelid twitch," cried Mrs. Gibbs, joyfully.

  "He's all right," said her indignant husband; "'e ain't born to bedrowned, 'e ain't. I've spoilt a good suit of clothes for nothing."

  To his wife's amazement, he actually walked away from the insensible man,and with a boathook reached for his hat, which was floating by. Mrs.Gibbs, still gazing in blank astonishment, caught a seraphic smile on theface of her brother as Miss Harris continued her ministrations, and in apardonable fit of temper the overwrought woman gave him a box on the ear,which brought him round at once.

  "Where am I?" he inquired, artlessly.

  Mrs. Gibbs told him. She also told him her opinion of him, and withoutplagiarizing her husband's words, came to the same conclusion as to hisultimate fate.

  "You come along home with me," she said, turning in a friendly fashion tothe bewildered girl. "They deserve what they've got--both of 'em. Ionly hope that they'll both get such awful colds that they won't findtheir voices for a twelvemonth."

  She took the girl by the arm and helped her ashore. They turned theirheads once in the direction of the barge, and saw the justly incensedskipper keeping the mate's explanations and apologies at bay with a boat-hook. Then they went in to breakfast.