Enough

by A L Williams

  “Check to make sure it’s right,” I said.

  He reached over and dipped his hand into the water. I walked over to the vanity and found a bottle of bubble bath. I read the label—vanilla was good enough. When I turned back Dex was back on the toilet.

  I poured some of the bubble bath in the water and watched the bubbles rise. Once it was full, I climbed in and gestured for Dex to get in. I settled him in between my legs with his back against my chest. He sighed and slumped, laying his head back against my pecs.

  “Do you feel better?” I asked.

  “Uh-huh,” he hummed.

  I chuckled. “Don’t fall asleep. The water isn’t going to stay warm forever.”

  “Then I guess I’ll have to use you to keep warm.” He turned his head and I leaned down and kissed him. The kisses were slow, but somehow more intense than the fast-desperate ones we shared moments before. He moaned into my mouth. My cock twitched, but remained soft.

  I pulled away and smiled, stroking his cheek with my thumb. “You can use me for whatever you want.”

  A bright smile spread across his face. He turned around, settling back against my chest. I perched my arms on the sides of the tub, letting the warmth of the water and his body seep into me.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Dex

  After grabbing the keys from me, the movers jumped in the truck and pulled away from the house. I turned and walked over to the For-Rent sign. After the funeral, Ra had distracted me with sex for days. We didn’t leave the house until the realtor showed, bursting our happy bubble. After a few days the house was on the market and the storage units.

  Ra came out of the house, carrying both of our bags. He walked over. “Our ride will be here soon.”

  I nodded, staring at the house. It was empty and all signs of it being a home were gone. Even the car was gone, sold to cover some unpaid medical bills.

  “This was my home for so long.”

  “It’ll be here when you’re ready to come back.”

  If I come back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to return to where all my memories of my family, good and bad, were. “I don’t know if I want to come back. Letting go of what this house represents is...hard.”

  Ra moved closer, putting his hand on my lower back, a gesture I was finding increasingly comforting. I still hadn't asked him what it meant for his sexuality.

  “All the things left in the apartment were put in storage by my extended family for me later. When I turned eight, they gave me the key,” Ra said.

  “What did you do with it?” I asked.

  “I abandoned it all.”

  “Why?”

  “That was a life I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to carry that baggage.” he chuckled. “Low and behold, I was anyway. I’ve been carrying it for thirty years and it almost took you from me. It still hurts like hell to think about. I can’t promise you that the fear of our relationship isn’t going to affect how I deal with it, but all I can do is my best.”

  I nodded, reaching for his hand and entwining our fingers. “And I’ll do my best.”

  He squeezed my hand as our ride pulled to the curb.

  ▽

  When we landed six hours later at the airport, we weaved through the long open area filled with groups of people rushing to their flights or waiting for family to land. We made our way to the conveyor belt that moved like a snake as it deposited luggage. When we retrieved ours, we made our way to the glass automatic doors leading outside.

  The sun was bright as we stepped out, the warm climate was a shock in comparison to Seattle this time of year. Out of nowhere, Ava collided with me, wrapping her arms around me. I stumbled, the air knocked out of my lungs, and then hugged her back. I squeezed her close. I’d missed her. “How are you feeling?” she asked, pulling back and searching my face. I smiled. “I’m okay.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Has he been treating you right?”

  I smirked. “Yes.”

  “Did he grovel?” She shot him a glare and I glanced back over my shoulder. He was rubbing his head looking away.

  I turned back to her. “Yes, he groveled. We’re fine, but we need to talk about what you did.”

  She shrugged. “It’s in the past.” She looked aside. I chuckled, the laughter feeling good after so many days of sadness and tears.

  She grinned and wrapped her arms around mine, dragging me to the exit. I peered back as Ra chased after us.

  ▽

  Back at my studio after I had finally persuaded Ava to leave, Ra and I lay in bed as the sun dipped low behind the western mountains. I drew circles on his chest, mapping each dip and curve of his body. It was funny how much I had changed. Before I met him, I would never have imagined being snuggled up against a man’s side with my cock half hard from something as simple as our size difference. It wasn’t just that. I was so glad I met him. He was utterly amazing. Even with everything he had been through, he was so strong.

  “What’s going on in that head of yours?” He asked.

  “What happened with your sister?”

  I felt him tense under me and I waited.

  “The abuse to Tanya continued for a year after that night. That man even moved in and he started…” Ra paused. I reached for his hand and held it. “He started abusing her, too. I watched as she slowly faded away. I think her mind had died long before her body.” He squeezed my hand. “One day she came to me and told me that mom wanted me to go to the corner store for some milk across the street. She gave me money, with a little extra to get some candy.

  “When I came out the apartment was on fire. I stood across the street staring. Waiting for Tanya and Mom to come. I don’t know how much time passed, but when the police noticed I was still there when everyone dissipated, the store owner informed them that I lived in that apartment. After that, I was sent to the group home.”

  He covered his face with the back of his hand. I sat up and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. I leaned down over him and moved his hand. His eyes glistened with tears. I kissed just below his right eye, tasting salt and I repeated the action on the other eye. He smiled up at me and cupped my cheek. “Izzy is the only family I have left. When she came to the group home, she gave me a purpose. A reason to keep going.

  “Were you considering ending your life?”

  He nodded and my mouth went dry. Whatever expression I had he frowned. “I’m not anymore. As much of a pain in the ass Izzy is, she did help to curb those thoughts. I haven’t had them in years.”

  “You and Izzy are so different. How did you manage to get along so well?” I asked, lowering my body and laying on top of him, with my face in the crook of his neck.

  He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. “She actually kicked me in the balls when we first met.”

  My head shot up. “What?”

  He smirked. “Yeah. She has always been feisty.”

  “What did you do to earn that?”

  “I helped her.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Rashawn

  Loud snoring shocked me awake. I glared up at the top bunk. I really needed a different bunkmate. It was a struggle getting to sleep if Kyle passed out first and sometime during the night he always managed to get louder. I lifted my foot, kicking the mattress. He fell silent and then the snoring continued. I groaned and sat up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, making my way to the bathroom.

  When I came out, voices caught my attention. I crept down the dark hall towards the only remaining light in the common area. I peeked around the corner, finding the head of the house, Ms. Annabelle, standing with two women and a single police officer next to the whiteboard near the kitchen entrance.

  “Her father has been arrested. She has been looked at by a doctor and she seems to be just bruised up. She’s more emotionally hurt than anything else. We’re going to seek counseling, but for now, do you have a bed?”

  Curious about who they were talking about I scanned the room, finding a girl
on the tiny chair near a bin of toys. She moved and her flip flop fell off her foot. I crept over to her, eyeing the adults.

  Once I managed to get close, I kneeled at her side and picked it up, tapping her side.

  A second later she jumped, and her foot went right into my groin. I shouted and stumbled back, holding my dick and falling to the floor. She gawked at me; her face wet.

  Ms. Annabelle dropped to her knees at my side. “What are you doing out of bed? Where does it hurt? Do you need a doctor?”

  Tears streamed down my face, adults forgotten, as the little girl watched. Tanya flashed through my mind with the same haunted expression on the girl's face.

  ▽

  I smirked as Dex stared at me.

  “Really that’s your fondest memory of her?” he asked.

  “You didn’t ask for the fondest. You asked for when we met.”

  “Oh, yeah. I guess I did, but damn that sounds painful.”

  “It was. Thankfully, she was barefoot. She could have done some real damage. Not that it matters now.”

  “Why do you say that?” he asked.

  “Well, I’m with a guy now. Having kids isn’t really a thing anymore.”

  Dex shot up and gaped at me. “Things could change. We could—”

  I pulled my body up into a sitting position, forcing him to straddle my hips again. “This isn’t just a fling for me. I don’t do one-night stands. I mean I have, but I don't like them. When I’m with someone, that’s it.”

  My heart hammered in my chest as I watched him. It was very possible that this wasn’t as serious for him as it was for me and I had to accept that. I hadn’t even ended things with Izzy. Whatever it was we had. Were we a throuple?

  “I—I don’t really do them either if I can avoid it,” he said, his cheeks dusted a light pink.

  I ran my thumb along it. “Good.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but my phone blared, cutting him off. I reached for it, finding an unknown number flash on the screen. “Hello?”

  “Ra! Where have you been! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours!” Izzy’s voice was a hushed whisper. I’d been ignoring my phone all day, wanting to spend as much time with Dex as I could.

  “I’ve been busy. What is it?” I asked, glancing at Dex.

  He smiled and dragged his fingers down my stomach. My cock took notice and started to fill. Damn this man could play me like a fiddle. It was pathetic and I loved every moment of it.

  “I’m in jail,” she said.

  I sat up quickly, steadying Dex on my lap. “What did you do this time?”

  “I—there was an accident. I was driving and I hit some guy.” My blood ran cold. “Were you drinking?”

  Silence followed.

  I swallowed. “Answer me Izzy, were you drinking?” I glanced at Dex whose face mirrored the worry I felt in the pit of my stomach.

  “Yes.”

  My heart sank. “Where is the guy?”

  “He’s dead,” she said, breaking into violent sobs through the phone.

  My stomach churned as bile rose in my throat. “You killed him?”

  She continued to sob. I swallowed again, trying not to vomit on Dex. He grabbed the phone from me and got up, putting the phone to his ear.

  “What are the charges?” He asked. I watched as he listened, scribbling information down on a piece of paper on his dresser.

  My mind swam with thoughts. Izzy had killed someone. She’d driven drunk and killed someone. She was going to prison for a long time.

  My head began to throb, and I put my face in my hands. I didn’t notice when the call ended until Dex came over and started rubbing my back. I looked up at him, finding a worried expression. “It’ll be all right.”

  I jerked away from him when he reached out, regretting it immediately. I looked at the floor. “You don’t know that.”

  “You’re right, I don’t.” His shoulders sagged and he ran his hand down his face.

  We sat in silence. I wanted the last twenty minutes to go away. We had been so relaxed. So happy and peaceful until.

  Until she came and fucked it all up.

  It’s a pattern.

  I stood and grabbed my clothes, dress quickly. “Where are you going?” Dex asked.

  “To the jail.”

  “You’re going to bail her out, aren’t you?”

  “She can’t just stay in there. Who knows how long until sentencing.”

  “The bail is twenty-grand.”

  I winced.

  “Yeah, unless you have that kind of money stashed away...”

  “I have some in savings.” It was all of it, but he didn’t need to know that. He wouldn’t take it well.

  He sighed and stood, walking over to the dresser. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt.

  “You don’t have to come with me.” I said, grabbing my keys off the dresser.

  “I’m coming. All right He said, slipping on his shoes.

  ▽

  By the time we grabbed the money from the bank and went to the jail I was about ready to empty my stomach into the nearest toilet. It churned and twisted, and my skin felt clammy and cold. I knew I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and the only thing keeping me up was Dex. He was attentive and he took action when I couldn’t. I had spent the last thirty years protecting and making sure everything was all right, but I was helpless. How was I supposed to get her out of this? How was I supposed to help her?

  When we walked through the door the stench of alcohol hit, making the urge to vomit stronger. I covered my face and searched down for the source. In the living room there were multiple bottles on the coffee table, some knocked over and other half drank.

  Izzy meandered in behind me, her hair a matted mess and her clothes in serious need of cleaning. Her makeup streaked down her face from her crying. She looked horrible.

  I balled my hands, trying to remain calm. Dex walked through the door and Izzy glared at him and I snapped. “What the fuck is your problem with him now? What, is he only useful when you need to be bailed out of your own shit?”

  She stepped back with wide eyes and then frowned. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

  “Right now, the woman I spent my entire savings on, a murderer,” I said, putting as much venom in the last word as possible.

  She flinched. “If it’s such a problem for you then why did you?”

  I laughed bitterly. “That’s a good question. Maybe because I fucking care, but that doesn’t seem to mean a damn thing to you.”

  Dex stepped forward, moving between us. “Both of you stop. This isn’t getting you anywhere and you’re going to alert the neighbors. Do we really want to deal with the cops again?”

  I closed my eyes and turned away, leaving them in the hallway. I couldn’t deal with her anymore. I couldn’t deal with anything. In one failed swoop she’d sealed her fate. She had no job and she was going to lose her freedom. Everything I’d done to protect her had been for nothing. I’d failed.

  When I entered the kitchen, I punched the wall, sending cracks along the plaster. I turned and leaned back, sliding down the wall. I put my face in my hands, ignoring the blood dripping down my hand.

  You failed her.

  You failed them both.

  A shadow moved over me, and I looked up, finding Dex kneeling in front of me. “Come on,” he said, pulling me to my feet. “Let’s get that cleaned up.” I let him lead me into the bathroom. He sat me down on the toilet. “Where’s your first aid kit?”

  I pointed to the medicine cabinet. He reached inside and pulled it out, grabbing the necessary materials. He got down on his knees in front of me and reached for my hand. I watched him clean the wound. His eyes focused. He would be a great doctor one day. His touch was gentle and his body relaxed even in the chaos.

  Barbara had been right. Izzy and I were toxic together, but I couldn’t abandon her. I didn’t have it in me. I had to do everything I could for her even if it was the las
t time.

  Once the wound was fully clean Dex stood and threw away the trash. I watched as he put the kit away. He was beautiful and he meant so much to me. My chest tightened.I had to get him out. After what he went through with his father, I couldn’t put him through any more pain.

  He came over and held out his hand. I stood and pulled him to me. “Take a shower with me.”

  Dex cocked his head and smiled. He turned to close the door as I turned on the shower and checked the temperature. We undressed and climbed in. He stood in front of me, his head thrown back on my shoulder as the hot water hit him. I gazed at his olive skin and the way the droplets slid down his body.

  Everything about him was all I asked for. I leaned down and kissed his shoulder and then his neck. He hummed, pressing his body back into me. His ass rubbed my cock and I groaned as it filled. I nibbled on the spot between his neck and his collar. He hummed in pleasure while I sucked on his skin and then soothed it with my tongue. My hand slid down his body to his dick and wrapped around it. I stroked him to full hardness until he was wiggling against me. I pressed him into the wall and prepared him quickly. The water wouldn’t stay hot for long. He pushed his ass back on my fingers, whimpering into the tile.

  I freed my fingers and repositioned him, so he was partially bent over. Then I lined my cock up with his hole, sliding inside with ease. His body swallowed me, finally accustomed to my girth. I waited and when he pushed back against me, I took that as my cue and reared back, slamming into him. He shouted, trying to grip something and his hand sliding down the slick wall.

  I fucked him. Holding onto his hips to keep him up right. He shook as I thrust, stroking his own cock in time with the roll of my hips. His ass clung to my cock as if it wanted me there forever.

  “Oh God.” I groaned. “Yes.” I wanted to stay with him. Always. I never wanted to let him go, but until I could let Izzy go, I had to—for his sake.