Her response would be even more negative if I ended up taking the manager position. Though maybe it would be time to set her straight or have her packing her bags. She was a hard worker if she’d only keep her mouth shut.
And ever since she handed me that envelope of money from Sparrow, she’d been acting like she had something on me. Thanks a lot Sparrow, as if I didn’t have enough in my life to worry about.
A rowdy bunch of guys were playing blackjack on the floor tonight, cheering each other on and high fiving when somebody beat the dealer’s hand. I was pulling the liquid soap out of my cart near the restroom when I heard the slur. It happened a lot, white men pretending we were only objects.
“Check out Pocahontas over there,” one man garbled. It wasn’t the first time I’d been called that and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. “I’d take her into her teepee and give her a good pounding.”
What a scumbag. I wouldn’t let him touch me with a ten-foot pole. “Probably time to limit your drinks, boys.” I could hear the controlled outrage in Sam’s voice, their dealer, and a longtime employee of the casino.
Sam nodded to the pit boss who, no doubt, alerted Grayson, the head of security in the casino.
“Knock it off,” one of the guy’s friends said. “You’re on your way to getting trashed and kicked out of here.”
I was grateful there was at least a voice of reason in the group. I was even more thankful that I wasn’t one of their servers. I might clean toilets but at least I didn’t have to be grabbed by drunken idiots. I avoided looking any more patrons in the eye after that incident as I set about filling all the dispensers inside the restroom.
The shift seemed to drag on and I knew it wasn’t only because of the anticipation of Alex picking me up. I had called Joaquin’s day care twice to check on him and I couldn’t wait to be able to keep him in my sight.
Though I’d hoped those men had gotten what they wanted and left, I had nothing to offer them anyway. I figured they had been the intruders who’d gone through my drawers and the idea of that made me angry and petrified all at once.
“Are you the men who broke into my house?” I had asked them.
“You sure you ain’t hiding something?” The man with the scar had asked.
“I haven’t seen Sparrow in months,” I said.
As I was finishing up the back hallway with the vacuum, Dakota waved me over. “Have you given the manager position any more thought?’
“I have, but it wouldn’t be feasible for my schedule,” I said, reluctantly. “I wouldn’t have anybody I trust to watch Joaquin at night. Even the idea makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Especially with everything going on lately. Somebody had been inside my house, going through my personal belongings. I couldn’t help wondering if Sparrow had given me that private number just a couple of days earlier, would those thugs have found what they wanted? What was a stupid number anyway? It was a feeble link to him at best.
She sighed. “I figured you’d say that. But I totally understand. Just wish it could be different.”
“Me too,” I said, because I meant it. And maybe someday it would be. Maybe someday I’d have the luxury of comfort and peace of mind in my life.
“Meadow, have you . . .” Dakota said and then stopped herself. She stared hard as if trying to convince herself of the idea and then said, “Never mind.”
I wondered if she was going to ask something about Alex since he was in town and friends with Shane. But she probably didn’t think it was her place and in reality it wasn’t. She was my boss and although she knew Sparrow growing up on the reservation, she had no stake in our relationship.
Preferring she didn’t ask anything at all I released the breath I’d been holding when she finally walked away.
I tugged Alex’s card out of my pocket and then fished out my phone.
Me: I’ll be ready for pick-up within the hour.
Alex: See you then.
It felt awkward to be texting with a Federal Marshal, almost like a betrayal to Sparrow, but Alex was also a man. A very good-looking man. Contacting someone like him after so many years without a partner was strange somehow. Even though it was only because he was doing me a favor.
A favor he did not have to repeat after today. Though the idea of a return visit from those men had me rethinking that statement.
I met him in the taxicab turnaround and avoided the eyes of the valets. They were good men and I could rely on them not to gossip. They saw a lot out here, the coming and going of many hookups. Though this wasn’t the same thing, they were sure to be curious where my own car was and why this gentleman was picking me up from work.
Everybody around here knew my history with Sparrow, Gloria’s too, and some had even been friends with him during high school. Nobody had asked about him in ages, only about Joaquin, because they knew how tough it had been for us those weeks following their wedding and my mother’s death. I hated the pity I saw in their eyes. But it was better than the scorn—as if I had been solely responsible for creating a child.
If I had been Gloria, I would’ve filed those divorce papers long ago. But who was I to talk, I’d never legally asked for child support. Besides, what would be the point; they’d have to find him first.
“You good?” Alex asked as he pulled away from the curb.
“Absolutely,” I said. “Sorry if this inconvenienced you. We can pick up Joaquin and you can get on with the rest of your day. Or you can drop me home and I can go get him myself.”
“No worries, his day care is on the way,” he said throwing me a cursory glance. “And even if it wasn’t, I’m the one who suggested this whole idea, so I intend to follow through.”
I liked that answer. I liked that about him in general, how even in the span of a couple of days, he seemed to be reliable. Even thorough, which was probably a good quality to have as far as his job was concerned. But that might not help Sparrow or me in the end. Not if Sparrow found out I had been chummy with the Marshal charged to find him.
I just nodded and looked out the side window ignoring his enormous thigh and how the denim material stretched across the taut muscle. Good Lord, I was hard up. Here I was lusting after the same man who was investigating my ex.
There were plenty of other men I could’ve dated in this town but I was always nervous to bring somebody new around Joaquin. Besides, my ties to Sparrow were still quite messy. Who would be willing to understand any of that? At least that was the excuse I continually told myself.
“So how long have you worked at the casino?” he asked, maybe only to pass the time.
“Since I was legal,” I said. Goodness, had that really been true? Doesn’t sound the least bit exciting or interesting, for that matter. He’d probably traveled to every state in the darn country. But what did I care, I wasn’t trying to prove something to him, was I?
He seemed to be contemplating my response. “What about your ex, did he ever work at the Golden Arrow?”
“No, at Sunny’s garage,” I said. “He was always a natural under the hood.”
He was good at a lot of things. Most of all making me believe things, apparently.
He drew his fingers across the scruff on his chin. “Did he enjoy having nice cars?”
I stiffened. “Is this conversation leading somewhere?”
He sighed. “Sorry, it’s hard to turn off the Marshal in me.”
I relaxed against the seat. “He used to own a red Trans Am from the ’80s, his pride and joy. Of course, I don’t even know if he still drives that thing.”
I couldn’t help feeling like I was giving Sparrow away by sharing this information, but if my gut was telling me right, Alex already knew about his car. He had to know some things because he was hunting him after all.
“What about you—how long have you been a Marshal?”
“Going on about ten years now.”
“Is it something you always wanted to do?”
He bristled at the question. So he had
something to hide as well. Guess he didn’t like people poking into his business either.
“Not really,” he said, looking into the rearview mirror. Something I noticed he did a lot, taking note of his surroundings. “My father was military and when he came home from serving time he was pretty messed up. I knew that wasn’t the life for me. But I was drawn to seeing justice done.”
I couldn’t believe he was sharing this with me. I ignored the soft spot that indented my chest.
He continued talking and I decided that I liked the sound of his voice. It went into a lower register when he felt passionate about something, softer when he was talking about his childhood. “I started off in witness protection but soon found that I wanted to be on the other side.”
“Because of what you shared about your brother?”
He nodded but didn’t offer anything more. I bit back the questions hovering on the tip of my tongue. He confirmed my suspicions that this job was personal for him. I could almost see it from his perspective, especially if someone had supplied his brother with those pills.
He remained quiet the rest of the ride until we picked up Joaquin who was a motor mouth and broke up any lingering tension in the car. I was thankful for that. Alex seemed to be as well or he was truly humored by Joaquin. His eyes appeared to light up whenever he was around my child. I tried not to think about what that meant. It was sweet to see however. Maybe Alex had children of his own or just enjoyed being in their company.
“Mr. Alex, are you eating dinner with us?’ Joaquin asked as we pulled into the trailer park.
“Oh, buddy,” I began, attempting to think of any excuse not to hold Alex up or make him feel awkward.
But Joaquin cut me off. “He’s probably starving too. Right, Mr. Alex?”
Though, it was probably the least I could offer since he drove us home.
When I looked over at him, his mouth was tipped in a slight grin.
“You’re welcome to stay.”
“I wouldn’t want to put you out,” he said, almost timidly.
“You did give us a ride,” I said. “But I’m afraid my dinner is pretty lame. I’m just making grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup.”
“My favorite,” Joaquin added.
“Mine too,” Alex said with a silly smirk on his face and I could almost see him in his youth, stealing girls’ hearts. He’d have that in common with Sparrow at least.
As we parked in the lot, my gaze searched all around for the truck that had made its presence known earlier, and it seemed Alex did as well. When he shifted, I noticed the gleam of his gun that was holstered to his side. Though firearms made me nervous, I knew he was a trained professional, and that made me feel safe at the same time.
By the time he’d put his car in park in front of our home, I’d made up my mind. “Why don’t you come inside?”
Did he really want to stay or was this his way of getting additional information? I hated this game of cat and mouse. But he seemed sincere and almost grateful as a gorgeous smile graced his lips. I could feel my neck heating up as my fingers fumbled for the handle.
I’d wager a guess that living out of a suitcase in a hotel room wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I’d pretend not to want his company, any company, and instead focus on providing somebody a hot meal. Too bad I hadn’t had the time or money to prepare something more substantial.
10
Alex
The lines were blurring a bit for me and I needed to watch myself. Meadow was supposed to be somebody whom I questioned and provided surveillance for on this task force, not somebody I befriended. But I told myself this was different, because I knew this community, her friends and co-workers, and the boundaries couldn’t help but become distorted.
Besides, this wasn’t anything like that last situation I’d gotten myself involved in. I had been lied to back then by a woman I thought I loved and so many things about Meadow felt way more authentic. It was amazing the effect distance and perspective had.
“Let me know how I can help.” I walked in the door behind Meadow, with my hand on my holster, just in case. I didn’t want to alarm them, but I also needed to make certain it was all clear, as I walked past every doorway inside the trailer.
“I’m going to change. And you can have a seat,” Meadow said as she and Joaquin strode toward the bedrooms. “Help yourself to a beer in the fridge.”
The next thing I knew Joaquin had burst from his bedroom with a puzzle. He slipped it on top of the table, opened the box, and began dumping the pieces on the flat surface.
“Will you put this together with me, Mr. Alex?” he asked me earnestly. How could anybody refuse that sweet face?
“Of course I will, buddy,” I said, sitting down in the worn chair across from him.
I saved some of the pieces from dropping to the floor and then began turning them over. But Joaquin had a much more random method, his fingers already clumsily collecting matching parts.
“I love puzzles,” he said, concentrating on fitting two pieces together.
“I haven’t worked on one in a long time,” I said as a wave of nostalgia swept through me. My mother was a lover of puzzles as well. She’d leave a large one on our dining room table for weeks while she and my brother worked daily on certain sections. “What kind is this?”
“Lions at the zoo,” he said, showing me the box top. “Momma and me got it at the gift shop.”
“Pretty cool,” I said, imaging the two of them walking around hand in hand at the park. I placed myself into the scene with them, and it didn’t feel totally unnatural like it normally would when I allowed my mind to drift. I couldn’t explain it really—there was simply this buzzing inside me when I was around Meadow, like the only way to satisfy that frenetic need was to learn everything I could about her. “What’s your favorite animal?”
“The giraffe,” he said without hesitation. “But the monkeys are silly too.”
“Yeah, they are pretty funny,” I said. “So are the gorillas.”
Placing my hands in position to imitate an ape, he giggled. Where in the hell had that come from? But I used to ham it up with my siblings all the time and I liked the sound of Joaquin’s laugh. Any kid’s laugh.
I turned my attention back to the puzzle. “Now if I remember correctly, you try to do all the edges first, and the inside pieces last.”
“Good luck with that,” Meadow said returning from the back room. “He just wants to put together the cool middle pieces and worry about the rest later.”
Meadow had changed into jeans and a tank top and damn she looked pretty. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head, creating a long line of skin at her nape. I could help wondering how she smelled right then in that area below her ear.
Fuck, I need to keep a cool head.
Joaquin began haphazardly pushing the pieces in the center of the table. He had no concept of doing the edges, probably given his age, so the method to his madness was to place like colored portions together, which wasn’t a bad technique at all.
“I see what you mean now,” I said smiling at Meadow as she pulled the bread from the cupboard.
“Okay Joaquin, I’ll do my thing and you do yours,” I said, creating a heap of edge pieces.
He pointed at my pile. “That’s what daddy used to do.”
The air in the room seemed to thicken at his declaration. But I didn’t want to make it awkward for anybody. “Guess he had the same idea as me.”
“My daddy had a beard like that too,” he said, reaching forward and tugging at my chin. I only had some scruff but Sparrow sporting a beard was different than the recent photos we had of him. “It tickles my neck.”
I flexed my fingers beneath his chin to flutter at his jaw. He squealed and the noise made my heart clench. I felt Meadow’s eyes on me but I refused to look her way. I didn’t want her to see the strange mix of emotions in my face.
“What are some of your other favorite things, Joaquin?” I asked and noticed how Meadow st
illed at the counter either out of surprise or to listen to her child’s answer.
“I like to play with Legos and my dinosaurs,” he said and then stared blankly at the wall thinking about it. “And I play soccer.”
“Awesome,” I said, high fiving him. “I used to play soccer as well.”
“He’s really good,” Meadow said and Joaquin smiled. “He’s on the local intramural team.”
The pan was sizzling with butter and the homey scent made my stomach grumble.
“Smells good,” I said. “You sure I can’t do anything to help?”
“You’re helping right now.” She smiled and somehow my chest felt lighter.
“My mother used to make me grilled cheese,” I said, thinking briefly about my childhood. “Along with rice and beans—the staple of every Latino household.”
She grinned. “Kind of like my family having corn—corn bread, corn soufflé.”
We nodded knowingly at each other as if we’d shut down the impasse between us.
“Is Alex your full name?” she asked as she flipped the bread in the pan.
“No, it’s Alejandro,” I said, allowing the r to roll off my tongue. I noticed how she stared at my lips as I said it. And damn, right then we were just a regular man and woman getting to know each other. Because I’d yank her into my arms and devour her skin and mouth if I could. I’d smell her and keep her close for hours on end.
“I like the name Alejandro,” she said, nodding solemnly.
“Only my family calls me that now,” I said. “It was my grandfather’s name. He immigrated here from Colombia. The city of Bogota.”
The puzzle was only a hundred pieces and working together, we finished it in record time. I helped clear the tabletop and then we sank down to devour the comfort food. The tomato soup hit the spot and the cheese was just the way I liked it, slightly burned and melted.
It felt good to eat with them, though I couldn’t pinpoint why. Maybe because I either dined alone or ordered takeout most of the time. To actually sit down at a table like this in somebody’s home was nice.
Three Sacred Words (Golden Arrow #2) Page 6