I’d been invited to Dakota and Shane’s condo for a meal later this week and would probably feel the same. In fact, if I could get Dakota to make me some of her mother’s famous fry bread, I’d be golden.
Joaquin pretty much dominated the entire conversation during dinner and Meadow simply laughed or smiled, she was so in love with that child. She was a good mother trying to do it all on her own and that made something clink hard in my chest.
“Thank you for dinner,” I said, lifting our plates and carrying them to the sink.
“Next time, I’ll make something more subst—” she paused, her jaw drifting open as if shocked at herself for even considering a next time.
“I’d be honored,” I said, letting her off the hook.
Joaquin pulled me by the hand to the living room attempting to watch a Scooby Doo cartoon. He sat down on the couch with the remote and patted the space next to him.
“They still run these older shows?”
“Even Tom and Jerry,” Meadow said.
“The Pink Panther?” I said in awe. “My dad’s favorite.”
“Yep,” she said. “On this network, dedicated to all cartoons.”
“Very cool,” I said, captivated by the screen.
I could see Meadow struggling with the idea of whether or not to ask me to stay longer so I made the decision for her. “Sorry buddy, maybe next time. I’ve got to get going.”
He was already immersed in the show as Meadow led me out the door, so he only offered a wave over his shoulder.
“I think he likes having a guy around again,” she said. “Sorry if he—”
“Don’t even say it—he’s a great kid,” I said, and her shoulders relaxed. “Thank you for having me. I don’t get to eat home cooked meals that much anymore.”
A gloomy look flitted through her eyes.
“No need to feel sorry for me,” I said. “When I’m actually home, it’s kind of a bummer to cook for myself, so I eat out a lot.”
“No girlfriend or wife to share the burden with?” she asked as if genuinely interested in my life and maybe even my well-being. This was a complete one eighty from when I first breezed into town a few days ago.
“Not anymore,” I said with no regrets. That’s all I’d say on the topic. I’d been married once, very young. And it was annulled in the Catholic church. A story for another day, perhaps.
Damn, that was so long ago. And the only other significant relationship I had didn’t end up being important enough, though I loved her for sure. But that situation was all kinds of fucked up because she also worked in the same field.
I should’ve never begun anything with her. Just like I shouldn’t have any similar thoughts about Meadow.
I twisted around to remind Meadow to use that sturdy deadbolt just as she took another step down and I accidentally threw her off balance. She grabbed onto my biceps for leverage and her neck fell briefly into my shoulder.
For a split second we both stiffened in place. But there was no mistaking her warm fingers on my skin or the shallow breaths bursting from her lips.
She yanked her hands back. “Sorry.”
“My bad,” I said, squeezing her shoulders one last time to be sure she was steady. Then I turned and headed to my car, not even allowing myself to think about it a second longer. “Have a good night.”
11
Meadow
I stayed rooted at the door until Alex’s car pulled away, completely disconcerted by my body’s response just a moment before. When Alex’s hands were on me, holding me firmly in place, it had sent an electric undercurrent humming through me. A momentary thought had flitted through my brain, that he’d be careful with other things in my life as well, like my heart.
My thoughts were growing more outlandish by the minute.
Alex was in town on official business and I needed to keep my privacy, and my family, intact. As soon as he got enough information on Sparrow, he’d be leaving to track him down. And I’ll have been responsible for helping him out, even though I wasn’t sure how that was truly possible. The only topics we’d discussed had been about our general lives.
He looked uncomfortable even when Joaquin offered him some information earlier, but maybe that was how clever he was at his job. He made you think he was sorry he was hunting after your relative and then he got you nice and comfortable before he blew out of your life with the evidence he needed.
I turned back inside and snuggled for a while with Joaquin on the couch. Just smelling his strawberry shampoo grounded me, helped me remember my goals to provide a life for us, and my dream to make it out of the trailer park.
“Will Mr. Alex be back again?” he asked sleepily, while rubbing his eyes.
“I don’t know sweetheart¸” I said. “He doesn’t live in our town, he’s only here for a visit.”
His face fell. “Like daddy?”
“Alex is just a . . . friend,” I said, rubbing his back. “Daddy is our family.”
“Does Mr. Alex live by daddy?” he asked, his young mind attempting to make all the pieces match up, to understand the people in his life.
“No honey, not at all.”
His bottom lips trembled. “Will Mr. Alex visit more than daddy?”
“Sweet boy, he’s only a friend passing through town.” My heart clenched. “C’mon, let’s get ready for bed.”
I forced thoughts of Alex out of my head while I gave my child a bath, read him a book, and tucked him into bed, unsure if I’d be able to sleep anytime soon. My nerves were shot over the earlier unpleasant visit and I made sure the door and all the windows were secure.
I sat at the kitchen table making jewelry for my tent day tomorrow. At least that was something to look forward to. My needle nose pliers were becoming dull and I needed better equipment, but these would have to do for now. I yawned as I lined up the colorful rhinestones but most customers preferred my simple freshwater pearls best.
It was late by the time I finished stamping letters on the tiny silver birds that were sure to be a draw for Spring. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I drifted off to sleep.
Until I heard a loud thump against the side of my house and people talking excitedly outside my window. I sprang to a sitting position, my heart crashing out of my chest. I hoped it was only some kids messing around in the park, which sometimes happened on the weekends.
When I lifted the curtain to the side, I spotted neighborhood teens on the outskirts of the field and I heard someone shout the word fire. That’s when I smelled the smoke and my knees nearly gave out.
A light vapor of fog seemed to drift across the room or was that my imagination? I darted to another window and that’s when I saw red and orange flames licking across the grass near the swing set. My neighbor, Frank, who lived alone in one of the smaller trailers was attempting to stamp out the sparks with a blanket but it had only caught on fire.
I raced to get Joaquin out of bed as I heard the sound of the fire truck bolting down the road. I wrapped him in a blanket and hurried out the door.
We stood outside and watched as they attached a hose to the side of the truck and easily put out the blaze. Jayden and her girls stood near us in their own sleepy haze.
Neighbors gathered in small groups discussing the cause of the blaze and the tribal police cracking down on loitering in the parks at night.
“Frank said this might’ve been set on purpose,” Jayden whispered close to my ear. “Though you know him, he might’ve been hallucinating.”
Frank was a nice man, but had been unemployed for far too long and an alcoholic for longer than that. Everything turned upside down after his wife left him for another man. “Why does he think that?”
“He was the first person outside and saw somebody fleeing the field in the opposite direction,” she mumbled around a yawn.
My gaze darted around the groups of families huddled together. “Kids?”
“Not sure,” she said, nodding in the direction of the red truck. “He told the fire
marshal.”
I thought of the men who had been asking around about Sparrow and my blood turned cold in my veins.
When she turned to speak to her girls I didn’t know what made me pull out my phone but I looked at the screen and considered calling Alex.
Would he know what to do in this situation?
I placed a comforting arm around Joaquin’s shoulder and he looked up at me with eyes half scared, half full of wonder.
That’s when I caught sight of Alex’s orange Jeep barreling down the dirt road toward us, and my breath released in a harsh gasp. As if he were coming to protect us—what in the hell was wrong with me?
Once he got out of the car and approached us the first thing Alex did was bend down to Joaquin’s eye level. “You okay, buddy?”
“Yes Mr. Alex,” he said in a loud whisper. “Momma says that someone must have accidentally dropped something in the grass to cause a fire in that field.”
“That’s right,” he said and then his eyes lazily slid up to meet mine. “I heard about the fire over the dispatch. Did you see anything?”
I gave a slight shake of my head and then looked down at my son so as to not alarm him. Alex got my meaning and then moved to the grass to take a look around. The firemen were putting away their equipment and I watched as he approached the fire marshal.
Several minutes later, my neighbors seemed satisfied that the fire was out and they made their way back to their homes. I did the same with Joaquin.
“Momma, what if it happens again?”
“It won’t, sweetheart,” I said trying to comfort him even though I wasn’t even sure myself. My hands were shaking because I was officially freaked. If those men had set that fire to scare somebody, it had worked. I made a mental note to go over basic fire safety with Joaquin again in the morning.
“How do you know?” Joaquin asked bringing me back to his question.
“The police will put a sign out there now to warn people not to drop things on the grass,” I said. “That should help. They wouldn’t want to get in trouble.”
His trusting eyes softened, seemingly satisfied with that answer. Oh, to be so innocent.
“Go to sleep, baby,” I said, kissing his cheek and tucking him into bed. “We’ll talk again in the morning.”
“Okay momma,” he said nestling in and yawning.
“Sweet dreams,” I said, backing out of the room. That was my wish for him. I wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon.
When I next looked into the lot I saw Alex walking my way and I held open the door so he could come inside. Having him there had certainly made me feel safe and that was wholly confusing to me.
“You guys okay?” he said in a low and comforting voice.
I nodded. “I just got him back into bed.”
He looked over my shoulder toward Joaquin’s door. “Did you see anything?”
“No, I was woken out of my sleep by a loud noise and neighbors shouting.” I tried to clear my brain to think more accurately but the thick cloud of disbelief prevented me. “That might not be exact, so I’m not sure.”
He stared at me a moment as if allowing me time to process things.
“Do you think . . . ?”
“Go on,” he said, taking a step closer.
“Jayden mentioned that the fire might’ve been set on purpose,” I said and gauged his reaction. The idea did not surprise him in the least. “One of the neighbors saw someone running from the field, he apparently spoke to the fire marshal about it.”
“What do you think?” he asked.
I shut my eyes as if it would make the problem go away. “I hope it’s not true but . . . I also thought about those two men and how determined they sounded that I might be able to get them in touch with Sparrow.”
I felt his hands grip my shoulders and my eyes sprang back open.
“They’re still in town,” he said. “I alerted the tribal police and if the fire marshal proves that the fire was started on purpose, then you might be right.”
My shoulders hunched. “But why?”
“Maybe as a warning,” he said. “Criminals can do dangerous things to get their point across. Some acts are senseless, but some are not. They can use intimidation in different ways.”
I thought about how they talked to me like I was some stupid broad, until I opened my mouth and stood my ground. That was right before Alex had shown up.
“If they roughed you up, you might’ve gone to the authorities,” he said and I gasped. “So they might’ve tried a different tactic.”
“God, we could have . . .” I stumbled over my words as panic lanced through me. “This could’ve turned out differently.”
“Did they say why they were looking for Sparrow?”
“They said he owed them something,” I said. “Do you think it was money?”
He shrugged. “Or kilos. Sparrow has a pretty sweet operation going in the drug trade through New Mexico.”
I trembled and he slid his hands up and down my arms comfort me. That’s when I realized he was still holding onto me and it felt grounding in that moment.
God Sparrow, what have you done? And then I thought of the envelope full of cash he’d given me that I already deposited into our account. Was that drug money?
He . . .” I looked up at Alex. “He sends us cash sometimes, you know? To help with raising Joaquin, to pay our bills. That money . . . God, I don’t even want it anymore.”
“You can’t fault yourself for trying to make it as a single parent,” he said. “When was the last time he sent you money?”
“Just this past week,” I said and his fingers tightened.
“How does it arrive here?” he asked, looking into my eyes.
“It shows up in my mailbox usually,” I said, thinking about Sparrow’s method the past few years.
“All cash, plain envelope?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. Did I tell him that this time the money came through Gloria? I certainly didn’t want her to get into trouble or to get on my case. I didn’t know if she even understood what Sparrow had gotten himself into.
“So what do we do now?” I asked. “What if they come back?”
He dropped his hands and looked around the trailer. “I could crash here tonight to make sure you’re safe.”
I stared hard at him, looking for any signs of duplicity, completely confused about what to do. Did he offer this option to all the women he questioned? Would he offer it to Gloria? It was such a betrayal to Sparrow to have the same man hunting him stay in our home. But I’d already had him over for dinner and his own son had taken a liking to Alex.
And besides, look who the hell Sparrow had led to our damn door. It was time to let him go and fend for myself. I always had anyway. The very thought was a jolt to my system. Relief tempered with sadness.
“Just say the word Meadow,” he said heading toward the door. “You don’t have to feel so alone.”
“Wait,” I said as panic pricked my spine. He turned and met my gaze. “Please. Stay.”
12
Alex
I felt like I was barging into Meadow and Joaquin’s lives. But I could see the relief evident on her face when I told her I’d stay. If I could make her feel safe, then that’s what I was going to do. I wasn’t sure what the hell these guys were thinking if they had set fire to the grass, but one thing was for certain. They were not playing. Even if they had been sending a warning, they could’ve easily gotten people killed.
Better that I remained and got a good idea of a lead than to put her and Joaquin in danger’s way. If my presence warded the criminals off, then all the better.
I also didn’t want Meadow to think that my intentions were anything other than honorable. “I’ll stay on your couch.”
She nodded. “I’m not sure if it’s comfortable.”
I could tell she was regretting her decision to ask me to stay in her small home.
“I’ll be fine.”
She stared at me a lon
g moment and then finally conceded. “Let me get a pillow and some sheets.”
I sat down and propped my head back while I waited, exhaustion taking hold of me.
Either I had already drifted off or she was quiet as a mouse because I didn’t hear her come back in the room.
She cleared her throat, startling me. “Alex, you shouldn’t have to—”
“Don’t even finish that sentence,” I said, rubbing my fingers over my eyes.
I felt the cushion depress next to me.
“You make it tough not to like you,” she mumbled.
My lips tilted into a grin and I cracked one eye open.
“My evil plan,” I said and then performed a bad imitation of a cackle from one of those old school cartoons.
She actually laughed even though I had more than likely embarrassed myself.
“I like the sound of that,” I said and her cheeks became rosy.
“Sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re a big bad Marshal.”
My face grew serious as I stared her down.
“I’m not the bad guy here,” I said, attempting to keep my hands in my lap, so strong was my desire to touch her.
“Isn’t it all relative?” she said, her fingers gripping the pillow she had brought out for me to sleep on. “People can be desperate enough to commit a crime. And the authorities can make a hair trigger decision to kill somebody.”
“Maybe when you put it like that,” I said, watching as she fidgeted beside me. “But deep down, people know what’s right.”
She stood up suddenly and I reached for her wrist so she wouldn’t walk away.
“Alex . . . don’t,” she said, but it was more like a plea.
I raised my hands in surrender.
“I’m sorry if this conversation is upsetting you,” I said. “I know you’re struggling with some hard truths.”
“Not everything is so black and white,” she said, standing in front of me, our knees nearly brushing. I had the desire to pull her onto my lap. To make her understand that I was plagued with the same issue, at least when it came to my desire for her. “Most of us live in the grey.”
Three Sacred Words (Golden Arrow #2) Page 7