My insides melted as his gaze scanned the horizon behind my house to the field. We hadn’t officially discussed him returning and we had shared a crazy hot moment between us this morning. I wavered between relief and irritation.
Was he being honorable or was he hoping to get something more from me? In the form of information or sex? But looking into his eyes I didn’t see any deception in them, only some vulnerability, and I’d confess that I liked seeing it.
“Probably not a good idea,” I said and noticed a split second of defeat in his eyes.
“Whatever happened this morning won’t—”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” I said, saving him his breath. Besides, I didn’t want to hear that he could fight off this attraction so easily when I was struggling to do just that. I wanted to pull him inside and devour those tempting lips. “Joaquin is sick.”
His eyebrows shot to his hairline. “What’s wrong with him?”
“The flu, I think,” I said, looking behind me. “I just put him to bed.”
“That’s more reason for me to stay,” he said, determination in his eyes. “So you can feel comfortable tending to his needs.”
Without another word, I allowed him inside. I couldn’t help the calm that swept through my limbs from just having him there. It was a false sense of relief, one that I would regret later, but I’d treasure it now, if only for a little while.
“Want some soup?” I asked, heading to the kitchen and pulling a couple of bowls from the cupboard. “I just made some for Joaquin.”
“Actually sounds good,” he said, sitting down at the table.
“They say chicken noodle solves the world’s problems,” I said, sliding the spoon toward him. “If only that were true.”
I sat down across from him thinking about how we were more at ease around each other today, even though there was the same underlying sexual tension. I removed a cracker from the sleeve, crumbled it in my bowl and then offered him one.
As he chewed and slurped, he looked content and I couldn’t help thinking how much I liked seeing him like this, in our home, sharing a simple meal. A stripped down version of our life with store bought soup and mismatched plates. But at least it was real.
“So how long will you be here?” I asked, suddenly feeling bold.
He put down his spoon. “What do you mean?”
“In town,” I said, shrugging, as if it were a simple question. I could feel my shoulders twitch, awaiting his answer.
“I’m working on leads for Sparrow’s case,” he said, carefully choosing his words it seemed. “My job is to find clues to where he might be hiding.”
“When did he . . . go into hiding?” I guess if I allowed myself to think about it, I could figure it out. The past year he’d begun calling at random hours of the day and withholding the location of his whereabouts.
“There was this drug lord who was murdered last year,” he said. “Sparrow had moved up the ranks once he was . . . out of the picture.”
A cold fist punched me in the chest. “Are you saying . . . ?”
“There’s no proof of course, only hearsay. The DEA has been attempting to shut down this operation for years,” he said, softening his voice. “Let’s just say, Sparrow disappearing put a kink in their plans. Which is why we were called in.”
“Because finding people is your department’s specialty?” I took a fortifying breath. “And you’re not quitting until you do?”
“Not necessarily,” he said with some frustration behind his response. “There are plenty of cases that turn cold. I’m usually working on a couple of different things at once. That’s just the nature of my job.”
I bit my lip, wondering why I kept pushing. But it was like the elephant in the room. “So you’re still in town because you haven’t gotten what you came for?”
He slid aside his bowl. “I’m not finished with this portion of the investigation.”
His penetrating gaze held mine until I was forced look away.
“Look, Meadow,” he said, placing his large hand on my wrist. I should’ve moved away but I didn’t. “This morning shouldn’t have happened, I get that. But I can’t say that I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh. His fingers remained on my arm, his skin warm and tingly.
“I understand why you’re conflicted and I regret that I’m adding to it,” he said. “I . . . I was out of line, but I can’t deny my pull to you.”
“I . . .” I wanted to say something back, to make him feel like he wasn’t in this alone. But I felt all jumbled inside.
“No need to say anything,” he said, releasing his hold on my wrist. I instantly missed the contact. “I’m good here on the couch while you take care of your boy.”
“Momma,” Joaquin croaked out as if one cue from his doorway. “I have to go potty.”
“Let me help you, baby.” I strode toward my child who stood on wobbly legs. “Then let’s get you back in bed.”
“Okay,” he said as I trailed him into the bathroom. It was a good break from my conversation with Alex. He seemed as conflicted as I was and I remembered what Jayden had said earlier. We were both human no matter the circumstances. There was an attraction between us and I had to believe it wasn’t a set up on his part.
When Joaquin was finished, I flipped off the light, following behind him. Joaquin turned his sleepy head and noticed Alex standing near the couch.
“I hope you feel better, buddy,” he said, crouching down to his eye level.
Joaquin shuffled toward Alex and then threw himself into his arms.
All I could do was stare, my hand over my mouth. Alex seemed equally as bowled over at first, but then his stiff arms encircled my child and drew his into his warm embrace.
And oh God, the way Alex held him, and patted his hair made my ovaries give a little salute. He’d make a good daddy someday.
“Hey sweetie,” I said, my voice raw and achy. “We don’t want to get Mr. Alex sick.”
“Because of my germs?” he said to Alex and then backed away. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said, giving his shoulders one final squeeze. “I think my immune system will hold up. Thanks for the hug.”
As I walked Joaquin back to bed, I looked over my shoulder at Alex, who stood staring off into space.
15
Alex
I awoke in the morning to Joaquin’s coughing fit. The poor kid.
Wish I wasn’t beginning to care about that little guy or Meadow for that matter. This was going nowhere fast. What the hell was I thinking coming here again?
True I wanted to keep them safe, but I’d admit to an ulterior motive as well. I just wanted to see them. Both of them. They were like a bright spot in my dreary day.
I considered my conversation with Meadow last night. The guys who’d been out here to intimidate her had stuck around town the last couple of days, which was another reason I had remained close. But the local police had their eye out as well. When I left town, there would be no one to look after them and that thought unsettled me most of all.
I stretched my limbs from sleeping cramped on the couch and then put on a fresh pot of coffee. As it brewed, I fished out my phone to see if Charlie had sent me any new leads.
After yanking on my clothes, I settled back on the cushions and ignored the fact that it was way less cozy than my hotel bed and that I didn’t sleep very well because of that. Shane had proposed the spare bedroom at their condo but I had declined that offer too. I didn’t want to put anybody out.
Besides, all of my notes were spread across the room in a makeshift office and I needed to keep that shit private. I’d only pull in Shane if necessary.
I took several long gulps of my coffee and just as I was about to quietly head out the door, Meadow emerged from Joaquin’s room. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and then smoothed a hand through her unruly hair, which was thick and wavy and spilling over her shoulders.
“I put a fresh pot
on,” I said, pretending not to notice her silky robe and imagine my hands on her skin the other morning. “How is he?”
“His fever spiked,” she said, shaking her head. “So I need to call the doctor and keep my eye on him.”
“Bummer,” I said, heading to the cupboard and pulling out a mug for her. It was the least I could do. “You’ll have to call off work?”
“Yeah,” she said wearily, and then drew her lips together as if to hold back another thought that would come tumbling out.
“What is it?” I said, pouring her coffee, and then adding the French vanilla creamer I’d noticed she liked from the refrigerator.
“What do you mean?” she said, distracted by watching me, here eyebrows slightly raised. She seemed surprised that I remembered how she took her coffee. She might be alarmed by just how much else I noticed about her. How she always wore her braid to one side and how she fidgeted with her fingers when she was upset.
“You were going to say something else when you mentioned work,” I said, handing her the cup.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said, after taking a sip. “I was just thinking I was glad that I didn’t take the second shift manager position that was offered to me.”
“You turned it down?” I asked, leaning against the counter.
“Had to, there’s nobody to stay here overnight with Joaquin.”
Our eyes met and it was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to say it. That I wished it could be me. The steady guy in her life who would be the one she depended on to help her out.
Instead, I cleared my throat. “Would it have been a raise?”
“Definitely,” she said in a resigned voice.
“Sorry to hear that,” I said, feeling on edge and flustered all at once by all the parameters on our attraction to each other. “If there’s anything—”
“Thank you, you’ve done enough,” she said, her voice sounding more clipped than I’d expected. “Really Alex, you’re staying at my house so that I feel safe. That is plenty. And I think we’re good. If those men come back, I’ll text you right away.”
“After what you told me, I want to make sure they don’t do anything more than threaten you,” I said.
“Like starting a fire in the field behind my house?” Her shoulders bunched in tension.
I hardened my resolve. “Maybe my being here has been a deterrent.”
“That’s just it,” she said, sighing and looking at the floor, as if avoiding my eyes. “What happens when you’re gone?”
Damn, that one question killed me. I just stared at her, my thoughts probably betraying me.
“I mean,” she said, straightening herself and walking to the bread box to slip a couple of pieces in the toaster. “What do you think they really want?”
“Same thing that we want,” I said, figuring she already knew that answer. “To find Sparrow. But for different reasons.”
She spun toward me. “What are your reasons?”
“To stop his involvement in the drug trade,” I said. “It may be tough to think about but those drugs are being sold far and wide. And even to kids.”
She sucked in a breath. “But he would be put away for a long time.”
I nodded. “Not unless he’s killed first.”
“By those men?” she asked, her voice wavering.
“Maybe,” I said. “But they’re small potatoes compared to the other criminals willing to take him out.”
I watched as a shiver rushed across her shoulders and she tightened her arms around herself.
I stepped forward to reach for her but she backed away, as if she needed to prove to herself and to me how strong she was. And she definitely was that. A force to be reckoned with for sure. She paced around the kitchen and I felt bad for upsetting her but it was a topic that we had been skating around for too many days.
“I don’t know anything, Alex,” she said, her shoulders sagging in defeat. “He calls me on my cell from different numbers and like I told you before, sends me cash every few months.”
I chose my words carefully. “Would you allow us to intercept a call to get a possible lead on his location?”
“The last time he phoned, it sounded like a good-bye,” she said, biting her lip. “I don’t know if he’ll be calling again.”
“Did he know people were sniffing around looking for him?”
“Only that somebody had been inside our trailer and had gone through the drawers.”
I thought back to that first day I arrived. “I was in town already, why didn’t you tell Sparrow I was here?”
She didn’t say anything, but there was turbulence in her eyes. I took a step toward her. “Meadow?”
“I . . . I don’t know,” she said. “I was having trouble lining it all up in my brain. Still am.”
“Fair enough.” I knew, in the end, she would probably do the right thing. She already had.
“I won’t ask to stay on your couch again tonight. But I’ll be watching,” I said after I saw the trepidation in her eyes. “They might be waiting for me to leave. For a chance to approach uninterrupted again.”
“Isn’t there anything I can tell them to get them to leave me alone?” she said, wringing her hands and looking uncomfortable.
“Same as what you told me, I guess,” I said. “You don’t know anything, so it can’t hurt to be honest. Once they realize they’ll get nothing from you, they’ll disappear.”
I made my way to the door. “Alex—”
I turned and took a step toward her. This time she didn’t move away. The dark smudges beneath her eyes told me how much she’d been worrying about all of this.
“It’ll be okay. I’ll have eyes on you, remember? If it turns out that fire was set, I’ll ask the tribal police to bring them in for questioning and then run them out of town,” I said and cupped her cheek. This felt intimate somehow, more than that time in the kitchen, or maybe because of that time in the kitchen. She shut her eyes in relief and I almost slanted my lips across hers. But I restrained myself. “Take care of that little man.”
16
Alex
I headed over to the Bureau of Indian Affairs to have lunch with Shane and see where he was spending the majority of his time when not in the field.
“Nice digs,” I said when I stepped inside his office which wasn’t much different than the cubicle he had worked in with Charlie and me. Though this place was newer, the paint fresher and more modern, even his office chair was high tech.
We walked around the corner to a small coffee shop and ordered some soup and sandwiches. “So what’s up with this case?”
“I heard from Charlie this morning,” I said, after taking a bite of my pulled pork sandwich. “Nobody wants to give him up in New Mexico. Either the cash is too good, or they’re scared about retribution.”
“Makes sense,” he said. “Is she heading back to the Atlanta office?”
“Yeah, we still have the Jordan case to work on,” I said. “But Charlie told me to tell you hello.”
“You going to involve the FBI?” he asked mid-bite.
“Figured we need an undercover agent in there to build trust with some of those drug runners,” I said. “We’ve got a conference call coming up with the Chief and the head of the task force to sort it out.”
He lowered his voice. “Does Meadow understand how deep Sparrow is now?”
“Think it’s beginning to sink in,” I said, sighing. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask his advice on being attracted to a suspect’s ex. But I wasn’t exactly certain what was happening between us.
“And Gloria?”
“She won’t give him up, but I doubt she has anything more than Meadow,” I said. “When I questioned her at her home yesterday, she said she hadn’t laid eyes on her husband in a couple of years. Said the last time he called was about two months ago. Probably accurate.”
He nodded. “I figure Sparrow gives Gloria even less crumbs than Meadow. They have a child connecting them.”
&
nbsp; “True,” I said. “Got more surveillance ahead because those same assholes are hanging around town.”
“My dad says the department has an eye on them, too,” he said. His father was with the local police department and though he was a narcotics detective working on special cases, he always knew if petty dealers came sniffing around.
“Don’t want to run them off until I figure out why they’re so persistent. Probably don’t want to come up empty-handed for their boss,” I said. “Ran their plates and looks like they’re part of Garga’s crew.”
Shane’s head snapped up. “Compared to Sparrow’s operation, they’re like a fly buzzing around an angry lion. He gets word they’re trying to find him, he’ll snuff them out first. Stupid bastards. They’ll never get their payout from him.”
Right then my phone rang. “Flores.”
It was the fire marshal telling me they had determined that the blaze in the field had been caused by a lit cigarette falling on dry grass. No fire accelerator had been found. It still could’ve been those men, but there was no proof either way.
After I left Shane, I headed back to my hotel room to have a conference call and respond to some additional e-mails. Then I drove past Gloria’s apartment and observed as those same two men parked in front of her house, knocked relentlessly on her door, and then drove away.
Later, I pulled onto the side of the dirt road on the other end of the trailer park, and watched Meadow’s place. It was a struggle not to head straight over, as if I had any right to.
I had my binoculars out and watched from a distance with the idea that I’d be there the moment she truly needed me. She promised to call or text if she felt in danger, but I hadn’t heard from her all day.
And just as I suspected, the dark truck pulled into Meadow’s lot. The men exited their vehicle and rapped on her door. I immediately drove closer so I could jump out at a moment’s notice.
Meadow stayed behind her screen door, her mouth drawn in a tight line, and her hands shaking at her sides. She looked all around her, and then over the shorter man’s shoulder. If it weren’t my imagination, I’d think she was searching for me.
Three Sacred Words (Golden Arrow #2) Page 9