Welcome to Blissville

by Walker, Aimee Nicole

  “Why’re you looking so damn happy suddenly?” John asked when I returned with his beer. “You went in with your tail tucked between your legs and came back out… Ohhh.” He winked playfully.

  “Not that,” I told him. “I wouldn’t be back so quickly if that was the case.” I handed his beer to him and said, “Our spouses have duped us both when it comes to the macaroni and cheese.” I shook my head sadly then told John what I saw in the kitchen.

  “What?” John asked. “Do I even know my wife at all?”

  I could’ve let the silly competition between spouses go and look forward to my punishment, but I found that I liked giving John a hard time. “I bet Josh makes better potato salad than Deanna.”

  “Without a doubt,” John said, not taking the bait. “I’d say baked beans, but I know for a fact she buys those in a can.” He thought for a minute and said, “Chili cook-off. Technically it’s fall, even if the temperatures are warmer than normal.”

  “Halloween party slash chili cook-off,” I countered. “Anyone can enter their chili for judging.”

  “Who’s going to be the judge?” John asked.

  “We’ll find impartial judges,” I told him. I freaking loved the idea once it took root. “I think we should have a costume party too so that you guys stand a chance at winning something.”

  “You’re a boastful son of a bitch when it comes to Josh’s cooking, aren’t you?” John asked.

  “It’s not boasting if it’s the truth and I’ve asked you to stop calling my mother such harsh names,” I said good-naturedly. “It’s Martina, Mrs. Wyatt, or Mom; never bitch.”

  John threw his head back and laughed heartily. “Okay, I won’t make that mistake again.”

  I wasn’t excited about having the Sunday dinner when Josh first told me it was still on, but once I saw our friends’ smiling faces, I was glad that he insisted. It seemed like Adrianna had grown so much in the two weeks we were gone.

  “Hi, pretty baby,” I said to her. “Did you miss Uncle Josh and Gabe?” She smiled up at me, and I felt my heart squeeze tight in my chest.

  “Um,” Sally Ann said, “Adrian and I would like to talk to you about something tonight after everyone leaves.”

  “Is everything okay?” I asked nervously.

  “It’s fine, honey. I’m sorry if I sounded so serious, but we do have an important question to ask you.”

  “Name it,” I said. “Blood, money, or John’s kidney.”

  “Hey!” John hollered. “My kidney is already promised to someone else.”

  “Who?” Deanna asked. “Busty Buxton?” My eyes widened at the mention of John’s ex-girlfriend until I saw the grin on Deanna’s face.

  John just rolled his eyes and said, “Nah, I bargained it away to the crossroad demons so I could have you.”

  “Awwww,” our friends all said.

  “They didn’t want your soul, huh?” Deanna asked.

  “What soul?” he fired back.

  “Good point,” she said, nodding. “You made a good deal, babe.”

  “We don’t want blood, money, or anyone’s kidney,” Adrian said. “We’d like you and Josh to be Adrianna’s godparents and stand beside us for her christening in a few weeks.”

  “Oh,” Josh said, his eyes were as wide as saucers. “We’re not ready for a baby. We have a road trip planned for next summer before we get serious about babies.”

  “We’ll try not to die until you get back from vacation,” Adrian said dryly. “We’ll try not to die for four or five decades while we’re at it.”

  Josh’s cheeks flamed red with embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant,” Josh said in a rush. “I don’t want anything to happen to either one of you.” Josh looked at Adrianna then back at me. “She’s not quite housebroken, yet, but what do you say?”

  “We’ll take her,” I told Adrian and Sally Ann.

  “This conversation didn’t go according to plan,” Sally Ann told Adrian.

  “It never does with Gabe,” Adrian said. “He goes off the rail all the time.”

  “Hey, you’re the one who wants me to raise your daughter,” I told Adrian. “What’s that make you?”

  “Uhhhh,” he said when he couldn’t think of anything else.

  “That’s what I thought.” I left my best friend grinning like an idiot at his precious daughter and went to circulate amongst our guests.

  I was glad to see that Emory was still around, but I wished he looked happier. Josh and I had become that annoying couple that wanted everyone else to be happy too—like Kyle, Chaz, Emory, and even Silver. It was nearly a painful experience to see people looking at one another longingly but doing nothing about their situation. Silver would watch Emory when he was busy looking away, and Emory would do the same when Silver was engaged in conversation with someone else. I had no clue what the hell was going on between Kyle and Chaz. They looked chummy and on the verge of taking the leap during our wedding reception, but they looked like they’d rather be anywhere other than our barbecue that night.

  Stay out of it. Stay out of it. Stay… Oh fuck it! I headed over to the corner where Kyle broodily sat nursing a beer. “What did you do?” I asked.

  “Me?” Kyle sounded shocked that I’d think such a thing. “Me?”

  “Yes, you,” I said. “You looked like you were so close to getting everything you deserved and now… Well, it looks like everything went tits up.”

  “Tits up?” Kyle asked.

  “It’s a saying that Josh is prone to use on occasion. That one and ‘calm your tits.’ So, what did you do?” I asked again.

  “It’s not me,” Kyle said, holding his right hand up like he was swearing in before giving testimony. “I thought we were finally heading in the right direction, but he put the brakes on when I asked him on a date. He turned me down flat.”

  “You asked Chaz on a date, and he turned you down flat? No explanations or nothing?”

  “Nothing,” Kyle said, shaking his head like he still couldn’t believe it. “One minute he was looking at me with eyes that begged me to kiss him again, and the next he was telling me that he couldn’t go out with me, but didn’t say why.” Kiss him again? I caught that part, but I bit my tongue instead of saying anything. “I think I’m just going to give up.”

  “Don’t do that, Kyle,” I said firmly. “If you weren’t upset about it, then I’d agree with you, but you are upset. That means you do care and brushing away your feelings isn’t the right thing to do.” I thought back to the times I could’ve given up on Josh because Lord knows he tried my patience something fierce. I looked across the expanse of the family room and saw him laughing with Mere and Harley. I couldn’t imagine a day without Josh in it and fighting for him, and with him, was the best thing I ever did. “I promise you that it’s worth the battle.”

  Kyle inhaled deeply and released his breath slowly. He turned his head and looked over to where Chaz was sitting next to Emory. Chaz looked up just then, and their eyes met and held for a few seconds before he looked away again. If Kyle couldn’t see how much Chaz wanted to be with him, then he was a lost cause. Kyle looked back at me and the crooked smile I always associated with him appeared on his face. “Yeah, okay.”

  “Good man,” I told him.

  “You guys going to open your presents?” Mama Richmond asked. “It’s getting late, and some of us have to work tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, okay,” I said, echoing the words Kyle had just used.

  Josh and I took turns opening our gifts, which were thoughtful and perfect. There wasn’t a single dud or gag gift in the bunch. Josh loved the cast iron cookware he received, and I loved my grilling stuff. We received some beautiful picture frames for our wedding photos.

  “I’ll walk everyone out then come back in and help you clean the kitchen so we can go upstairs and get some sleep,” I told Josh.

  “No sleep for a while,” he said in what he probably thought was a menacing voice.

  It sounded promising to me, so I di
dn’t linger outside for too long. I said goodbye to everyone and returned to the house. “I’m ready for my punishment, Sunshine. We can clean up the mess later,” I said as I came through the kitchen door. Josh wasn’t in the kitchen, he didn’t answer me, and I didn’t hear him moving around anywhere on the first floor. I wanted to think that he’d gone upstairs to wait for me, but the hairs standing on the back of my neck told me that danger awaited me instead.

  I wanted to charge through the house and find Jimmy and Josh, but I had to be smart. Adrian and Dorchester probably hadn’t made it down the street, but I couldn’t risk their families becoming involved. I dialed 911 and whispered into the phone my name, location, and that I needed backup right away. I asked them to come in quiet, so they didn’t tip Jimmy off. I set the phone down on the kitchen island and went in search of my husband. Maybe I was overreacting, but I didn’t think so.

  I pulled my backup gun from the tea and spice tin in the kitchen cabinet and turned the safety off. “I know you’re here, Jimmy,” I yelled as I eased toward the family room where I last saw Josh. “There’s no point in playing games with me.” Buddy wasn’t barking, and that scared me. If that sick bastard hurt my husband or my animals…

  “Who’s hiding,” he responded smugly. I rounded the corner, and sure enough, Jimmy De Soto stood in our family room with one arm tight around Josh’s neck and held a gun to his head with the other. He had dyed his hair and eyebrows black, but the hatred in his pale blue eyes was the same. “Put the gun down, or I’ll blow his head clean off. Well, I plan to do that anyway, but not before I finish destroying your life. Put. Your. Gun. Down.” He jabbed the barrel of the gun in Josh’s head with each word.

  “Okay,” I told Jimmy. “Easy, Jimmy. Let’s talk about this.” Adrian and Josh always joked about television and movie villains talking so much that they gave the hero a chance to save the day. I never considered myself a hero, but I desperately wanted to be that for Josh. “I’m the one you want, not him. Let’s take a drive and settle this away from here.” I would do anything to protect my husband. I didn’t chance looking into Josh’s eyes because I had to concentrate on Jimmy and the hand that held a gun to Josh’s head.

  “Where the hell is the fun in that?” Jimmy asked. “Kid, I’m going to strip you to the bone then I’m going to take away everything you love. You might get the drop on me, but not before I destroy your life like you did mine.”

  “Jimmy, I didn’t do anything to you. I only testified to what you said to me about the situation with Ace Dixon. I never implicated you in any wrongdoing,” I told him, hoping I’d have enough time for the cavalry to arrive. “We were partners, Jimmy. We were friends—more like family. You took me under your wing when I was just a young pup and taught me everything you knew.”

  Jimmy snorted derisively. “You were only my partner so I could keep an eye on you. I couldn’t let an overeager little bastard like you ruin my career. I guess the joke was on me after all.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “The only case I was eager about was my brother’s shooting.” The wide, evil grin that spread across Jimmy’s face turned my stomach, and I thought I might throw up all over Josh’s fancy schmancy area rug. “You knew who killed my brother all along, didn’t you?”

  “You could say that,” Jimmy answered mockingly. “I see his killer’s face every time I look in the mirror.” Jimmy laughed when he saw my horrified expression. “He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was shaking down the store owner for Big Saul. I thought the clerk was reaching for a gun beneath the counter and I put a bullet in his chest. I didn’t even know Dylan was in the store until I looked up in that big round mirror up on the wall. He was cowering behind a row of chips and snacks with a tub of ice cream in his hands. He refused to look up at me and kept saying that he didn’t see any faces so he couldn’t tell the police anything. It wasn’t a chance I could take.”

  “I don’t believe it,” I said. “You went out of your way to help me investigate leads on his case in your free time.”

  “No, I was making sure you never learned the truth. I might’ve recommended you for promotion as my partner for purely selfish reasons, but along the way, I came to love you like a son. I didn’t fake my affection for you, but then you went and stabbed me in the back. I’m not sorry that I killed your brother anymore. In fact, I’m going to kill your husband with the same gun I used to kill him.” Jimmy jammed the gun in Josh’s head again for emphasis.

  He was right. His words cut me to the bone. I hated the thought of my brother afraid and scared. Had Dylan known he was going to die? Did he die instantly or did he linger slowly in a pool of blood and melted ice cream. “I fucking hate you.”

  “Good, and now for my final act…”

  “Put your hands up, you dumb son of a bitch, and I won’t blow your fucking ass away!” Sassy said loudly, repeating a line from a movie she’d recently heard. Her voice was so clear that it sounded like a person and it was the distraction I needed to go for my gun. I dropped to my stomach and aimed at Jimmy, but I wasn’t the only one Sassy spurred to action.

  I watched in awe as Josh elbowed Jimmy in the stomach, stomped down hard on his foot, rammed his head back into Jimmy’s nose, and brought his hand back and tagged Jimmy hard in the balls. Jimmy had dropped his gun in the middle of Josh’s assault, and Josh kicked it out of Jimmy’s reach like a pro. Once Josh got free from Jimmy, he turned around and kicked him in the ribs. The air in Jimmy’s lungs loudly expelled as he collapsed writhing on the floor, unsure of where to put his hands. I’d seen a bit of Josh’s skill when he took down Billy, but the moves he used on Jimmy were something spectacular.

  I scrambled over to Jimmy and pushed him down face first into the carpet. “Josh, go get my cuffs from the bedroom.”

  “Don’t let him bleed all over my rug. Drag his sorry ass to the hardwood floor so I can mop it up later,” he said as he ran from the room.

  “Where the fuck is my dog, you sick bastard?” I demanded to know.

  “He’s just sleeping,” Jimmy said. “I couldn’t hurt an innocent animal.”

  “But innocent people like my brother and my husband, are okay?” I asked him. “Never mind, don’t answer that question. Save your breath for your attorney.”

  “I can’t go to prison, kid. I won’t last a minute there. It doesn’t matter if they keep me out of general population either and you know it. The inmates will pay off a guard to slip them inside so they can kill me.”

  “You’re going to die anyway,” I said. “Isn’t that what you said about Ace Dixon? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you after what you confessed to doing before my husband took you out?”

  “Detective Wyatt,” Officer Wen hollered from the kitchen.

  “In here, Wen,” I yelled back. “I’ve apprehended the fugitive.”

  “Are you taking credit for my work?” Josh asked when he ran back in the room and handed me the cuffs.

  I secured Jimmy and jerked him to his feet. “Check him for secondary weapons, take him to the station, and phone Deputy Marshal Matthews.” Then I told them about Jimmy’s confession about killing my brother and his claim that the gun they took into evidence was the murder weapon.

  I heard toenails on the hardwood floor and looked up to see Buddy walking groggily into the room. “Josh, please call Kyle and ask him to come back to check on Buddy. I don’t want to take any chances.”

  “We’re going to need you to fill out a report,” Wen said with a crooked smile once I finished barking orders.

  “I’ll be there first thing in the morning,” I promised Wen.

  Kyle came right away and listened to Buddy’s vitals. “He sounds good, but I’d like to pump his stomach, flush him with IVs, and keep him overnight as a precaution if that’s okay with you,” he said.

  “Whatever Buddy needs,” I told him.

  “I’ll call you guys in the morning and let you know how he’s doing,” Kyle said.

  I carried Buddy out to
Kyle’s truck and promised I’d pick him up as soon as possible. Kyle smirked at my puppy dog voice but didn’t comment. I returned to the house and breathed my first real sigh of relief since the police hauled Jimmy out of our house. The threat to my family was over, and I could focus all my energy on good things. Then I saw the thunderous expression on Josh’s face and stopped in my tracks.

  “What did I do?” I asked, knowing that I was in trouble but not knowing why.

  “What the fuck was that ‘let’s take a ride’ bullshit?” Josh demanded. “You thought it was okay just to let him drive off someplace and shoot you?” He was so angry that his voice cracked and tears threatened to spill. Chaz once told me to avoid making Josh mad enough to cry or risk having him rip my arm off and beat me to death with it. I scoffed then, but I wasn’t when faced with snapping hazel eyes that had turned brown with rage.

  “Sunshine, I was just buying us time. I remembered what you and Adrian said about yapping villains, and I just thought I could buy some time for the BPD to arrive.” I was hoping that my praise got me out of trouble a little bit. “It turned out we didn’t need them because you used badass moves to take down a gunman and…” Oh my God! Josh could’ve been killed! “What the fuck were you thinking?” I yelled, suddenly angry at the risk he’d taken.

  “Me? What about you?” Josh yelled back.

  We argued back and forth for several minutes until we both wound down once we realized that we were wasting energy on fighting when we could be loving. “Where’d you learn those moves?” I finally asked once I pulled him into my arms, relieved that we were both okay.

  “Miss Congeniality,” he replied.

  “Who?” I asked.

  “We need to talk about your movie preferences, Gabe. You’ve learned nothing valuable.” He then told me how he learned about the S-I-N-G defense moves in a movie about an FBI agent going undercover as a beauty pageant contestant. “It’s hilarious,” he added after I didn’t immediately respond.