Family, friends, and love surrounded me, but I had never been so lonely in my life. Drew’s rejection was a little easier to swallow, or at least overlook because he was a faceless man on the other end of a gaming app. I couldn’t avoid Chaz no matter how hard I tried to unless I wanted to move, which I didn’t. I don’t know what prompted me to reach out to Drew the morning after the kiss with Chaz. I didn’t expect him to answer, but I was hoping he would have so that I could have a little bit of closure.
Closure. Ugh! I sounded like a chick. How many times had I heard my sisters use that term while discussing a relationship that ended? Too many to count. But the sentiment rang true. Drew and I developed a type of relationship, and it ended abruptly with no warning. Part of me wanted to know what happened so I could have closure and move on while the other half feared what he had to say. What was it about me that made me so… unloveable? It turned out my closure wasn’t needed because the guy didn’t want anything to do with me.
I decided I wouldn’t make a fool of myself with Chaz the way I did with Drew. I sent Drew messages daily for I don’t know how long. I had given Chaz two chances before I gave up and stopped calling him. How much rejection could one guy take? I’d avoided running into him for a few weeks by not going to Sunday dinners at Josh and Gabe’s, but my reprieve ended when I walked into Curl Up and Dye for my haircut appointment with Josh.
Chaz stared unblinkingly into my eyes for several awkward moments when I arrived. Our connection broke when he took a deep breath and shifted his features into a mask of cool professionalism, but not before I saw the hurt in his eyes. Hurt? What the hell did he have to feel hurt about? I was the one who put myself out there, and he ignored me.
If asked, I would tell you that my greatest personality trait was my patience and my laid-back attitude was a close second. I rarely lost my temper, but I felt my blood simmering beneath the surface that day. My heart pounded in my chest as fury rose inside me. I had half a mind to toss him over my shoulder and carry him off so I could kiss a confession out of him. I hadn’t mistaken the desire in his eyes when he looked at me nor had I imagined the sparks that flew between us when our lips first touched. I just needed to find out why Chaz turned cold on me so suddenly.
“Jazz is running a few minutes behind,” Chaz coolly said, as if he spoke to someone who hadn’t experienced the pleasure of his tongue in their mouth. “Please help yourself to a beverage and a magazine while you wait in the reception area.”
That little imp was dismissing me, and I wasn’t about to… My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of heavy work boots walking across the polished hardwood floors. It wasn’t a sound I associated with the classy salon, so I turned to see who was wearing them. My mouth dropped open at the sight of the sexy stud approaching Chaz and me, but I don’t think he even noticed I was alive because he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes off of Chaz. Was this guy the reason Chaz didn’t answer my calls or return my messages?
My eyes raked over the tall, dark stranger with bulging biceps and perfect pecs straining the fabric of his white T-shirt that was three sizes too small. His tool belt hung low over jeans much too tight to wear while constructing anything except wet dreams.
“Hi, Andy,” Chaz said cheerfully. “How’s it going?”
I didn’t care if Andy constructed orphanages in third world countries in his free time; I hated his fucking guts because of the way he looked at Chaz and the way Chaz returned his interest. Andy leaned artfully against the high counter of the reception desk and smiled at Chaz.
“It could’ve been better,” Andy said. “A certain someone could’ve joined me for a drink like I asked.”
Chaz laughed uneasily and darted a glance in my direction to judge my reaction. I thought the soft blush that bloomed across his cheeks was adorable and wished that I was the one who put it there. His eyes widened when they met mine, and he licked his bottom lip nervously. Could he sense how angry I was right then? Was anger even the right emotion? It felt more like… jealousy. I could feel that I wasn’t the only one who had ideas of what Chaz could do with his sexy tongue. I turned to face my new nemesis.
“I don’t believe we’ve met yet,” I said to the newcomer. “I’m Dr. Kyle Vaughn.” Even to my own ears, I sounded a bit pretentious, but I couldn’t take it back once the words left my mouth. I extended my hand to him, which he accepted in a vise-like grip.
“Andy Mason,” he told me. “Carpenter.” I could tell he wasn’t impressed by my title and didn’t like the possessive gleam he saw in my eyes. I narrowed my eyes as the beefcake squeezed my hand harder instead of releasing it.
“Guys,” Chaz said, trying to interrupt the standoff between us. We ignored his attempts and continued to stare one another down like two MMA fighters at the press conference before fight night. “Andy.” The flirty way Chaz said Andy’s name penetrated the carpenter’s brain and he jerked his attention back to Chaz.
“Yeah?” he asked, sounding hopeful.
“What’s the real reason you came downstairs?” Chaz asked, his flirty tone replaced with a professional one. “As flattering as it would be, I’m pretty sure you’re a man on a mission.”
“I’m a multitasker,” Andy boasted. “I can—”
“Andy!” Josh happily exclaimed, cutting Andy off as he walked up on the small gathering. “Just the man I wanted to see.”
“I came down to look for you too,” Andy told him.
“Really? It doesn’t look like you’re looking for me,” Josh said as he darted a shrewd glance between the three of us. I knew damn well that Josh would be #TeamDimples. “Kyle, I am so sorry that I’m running a few minutes behind. You can go ahead and…”
“Dr. Vaughn!” a familiar female voice exclaimed. “Oh my goodness! You’re the answer to my prayers.”
I spun around and faced Katie Davis who operated the Carter County Animal Shelter. “That’s what he said,” I replied, jerking my thumb in Chaz’s direction without thinking my actions through. Chaz gasped, Josh threw his head back and laughed in delight, and I’m pretty sure that Andy growled. I chanced a peek at Chaz and caught him staring at me with a dumbfounded expression on his face. How much more obvious did I need to be that I wanted to see where things could go between us?
“Is this a bad time?” she asked nervously. “I’d like to ask a favor of you.” My staff and I volunteered ten to fifteen hours a week treating the dogs and cats at her shelter. The last time I was there, she mentioned that she needed to raise money for the shelter. I figured that she wanted to discuss a fundraiser with me.
“Not at all, Katie. Josh will be delayed a few minutes, so I have time now.”
“Well, it’s a big favor,” she said hesitantly. “Remember how I mentioned a fundraiser to you?”
“Sure, and I’ll help out however I can,” I told her.
“I’m so glad you feel that way because you play a big part in what I have in mind.” She clapped her hands and bounced on her feet. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner,” she said to herself.
“How big?” I asked, narrowing my eyes as an uneasy feeling came over me.
That feeling only increased when she broke eye contact and looked down at her feet. “We’d like to do a calendar with the animals at the shelter. One of my staff is an amateur photographer and is willing to donate the time to take and edit the photos.”
“So you’re looking for donations to cover the cost of producing the calendars? I’ll gladly help out with that,” I told her. Katie didn’t meet my offer with as much enthusiasm as I expected.
“Not exactly the kind of help I was looking for from you,” she said.
“No? How else can I be of service to you?” I asked, clearly confused. I already provided free veterinarian services and offered to…
“She wants you to pose for the calendar,” Chaz said, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked over at him and rolled my eyes. “No, she doesn’t.”
“Oh, I think that’s
exactly what she’s working her courage up to ask,” Chaz told me. “Isn’t that right, Katie?”
I looked at Katie, expecting her to brush off his idea, but all I saw was a hopeful gleam in her green eyes. “Me?” I asked in disbelief.
“Why not you?” Katie asked, seemingly emboldened when I didn’t refuse the idea outright. “You’re gorgeous, built like a brick house, and adore animals. Who else would I ask?”
“I don’t know, Katie,” I said hesitantly. “I’m not very photogenic.”
“Stop being so modest,” Katie told me. “You’re exactly what we need. I can see it now…” Her voice trailed off while she envisioned something in her mind. “Cute poses with kitties, or you wearing a cowboy hat and boots while standing beside a horse…”
“I’d be wearing more than just a pair of boots and a hat, right?” I asked, needing clarification before the conversation went any further.
“Dr. Vaughn!” Katie said in shock. “Why, I’d never suggest such a thing.” Then she covered her mouth with both hands and giggled nervously. “Oh my,” she answered, fanning herself. “That’s not what I meant at all. Dear me, I meant my offer as a compliment, Dr. Vaughn. I thought your love for animals combined with your hunky looks would make a great fundraiser.”
“It would probably sell a lot of calendars,” Chaz said, chiming in.
I looked over at him and caught him staring at me speculatively. “But would you buy a calendar?” I asked.
“Duh,” Chaz said, then added, “it’s for charity.”
I wanted him to have ulterior motives for wanting the calendar. I wanted him to look at the photo and wish I was petting him instead of a horse. Was he picturing me wearing nothing but boots, a hat, and a smile for him? I could make that happen if that’s what it took.
“Well, I’m not convinced this calendar will turn out good or sell many copies, but I can volunteer my time and face if it’s something you want to do,” I told Katie.
“Thank you!” Katie said before she threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “You’re a lifesaver, Dr. Vaughn. I’ll call you in a few days when I have all the details sorted out.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be sure to answer your call or return your message at my earliest convenience,” I said to Katie while looking into Chaz’s blue eyes.
“Okay, talk to you soon,” she said as she exited the salon.
Chaz pinned me with a heated look and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something. He must’ve changed his mind because he closed his mouth, shook his head, and walked away. I would’ve turned to follow him, but Josh was standing behind me watching the byplay between Chaz and me.
Josh offered me a sympathetic smile and said, “Ready?”
“Yep,” I replied, following him to the shampoo room. I stopped in once a month for a shampoo and haircut. “How are things going with the renovations and wedding plans?” I asked, making small talk.
“You’d know if you showed up for dinner,” Josh scolded lightly. “We miss you.”
“I miss you guys too,” I said. I hadn’t meant to confess that, but the mesmerizing way he massaged my scalp had me ready to spill all my secrets.
“Come over for dinner then,” Josh said. “Cornhole hasn’t been the same. Chaz can’t get a good partner to challenge me like he did with you.”
“That was fun.”
“Yes, so you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday?” Josh asked.
“Will Andy be there?”
“Andy? He’s not family so why would I invite him?” Josh questioned, but I heard the telltale humor in his voice that told me he was playing me.
“Maybe another one of your guests will invite him,” I stated.
“Doubtful,” he replied. “He’s too busy looking for someone who doesn’t show up anymore.”
“Oh,” I said softly. Josh’s words warmed my heart but did nothing to dispell the confusion over Chaz avoiding me when he was obviously attracted to me.
“Anyway, we’re almost finished remodeling our new house, and I can’t wait to have you all over for a barbecue,” Josh said, changing the subject. He got his point across and must not have felt the need to keep hammering me with it.
Some people would’ve thought it odd how Gabe and I could still be friends after our breakup, but it felt right to us. Gabe was a good guy who’d found the man created just for him. A small voice inside my brain nagged that I had already found my man too and just needed to persuade him. I had hoped to get a jumpstart on convincing Chaz when Josh finished my haircut, but he was nowhere in sight.
“See you on Sunday?” Josh asked as he handed me my receipt.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I meant it too because unlike some people, I kept my word.
Seeing Kyle at the salon caused me to put things into perspective. So many emotions rioted inside my brain that it took me hours to untangle, sort, and process them. I was still angry about the one-worded message Kyle sent to Drew, even though I had no idea what Kyle’s motivation was for sending it. I was fucking miserable from Kyle’s absence at Josh and Gabe’s house after I ignored his phone calls. I was so damn hungry for another taste of him, but I just couldn’t trust that the emotions Kyle showed me were genuine. How could they be if he was still reaching out to Drew? Besides, he was sexy, smart, and had his shit together where I was lucky if I wore matching socks every day. He could have any guy he wanted, and I was supposed to believe he wanted me?
During our exchange at the salon, I caught a glimpse of the kid that Aunt Sandra mentioned. I saw the boy who was picked last in gym class and probably bullied because of his weight. The hurt at never being enough was plain for me to see in his dark blue eyes. The guilt I felt at that moment was enough to choke me, and I knew I needed to do something to fix it. Even if it cost me a chance with Kyle, I needed to tell him the truth. I probably would’ve blurted it all out right there had Andy not walked up and flirted with me right then.
The jealous, chest-thumping male version of Kyle replaced the lost boy I’d discovered. I couldn’t help but smile as he rose to his full height and scoped out Andy as if he was serious competition. I thought Andy was an attractive guy with soulful dark eyes, but I wanted only one man. Kyle’s gesturing and posturing made me feel like I hadn’t blown my chances with him yet. I admit that it was kind of fun watching the two hunks stare each other down and that handshake was fucking priceless. I hadn’t seen such white-knuckled grips since my mom rode in the car with me the first time after I received my temporary license.
Then Katie interrupted the showdown and ruined everything with her talk about the calendar. It was adorable that Kyle thought she wanted monetary donations instead of his hunky flesh featured in the photos. He looked dumbfounded when I mentioned it as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. It was actually pure genius on Katie’s part because those calendars would sell faster than bottles of cold water in hell. Then it was my turn to feel jealous about all the eyes that would be seeing Kyle in ways that only I wanted to see him. That was the realization that prompted me to hide from him when his appointment was over.
“Not cool, Chaz,” Meredith had said when she found me hiding in the kitchenette. “No more cat and mouse games. Either give that man what he wants or tell him you’re not interested.”
“Meredith, he won’t have anything to do with me when he finds out that I was gamer Drew. My behavior was unforgivable,” I softly said while staring into my cup of coffee. “It was more than simply lying about my identity. I let him divulge things to Drew that he wouldn’t have told me and we did things together.”
Meredith’s brows rose at the last bit. I could tell she wanted to ask what kind of things we did, but instead, she said, “Baby, there’s only one way to find out if he’ll forgive you.” Mere ran her hand affectionately over the top of my head like a mother would to soothe her child. “Charles Bailey, I can promise you one thing, and that’s you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t try. I’ve ne
ver seen you look at anyone the way you look at him. He looks at you the same way too.”
I knew we had something sparking between us but was it real? “I’ll think about it,” I promised her.
And I thought about it for hours. By the time I reached a conclusion it was too late to do anything about it but channel the energy into my writing. I sat at my computer and blocked out every thought in my mind that didn’t include Jamie and Gideon’s latest adventures. My plan worked perfectly until I turned off my laptop and closed my eyes. Then the events of the past month played through my brain on repeat.
I didn’t know if Kyle would forgive me, but I knew that Meredith was right. I had to try. The problem was that knowing and doing aren’t the same thing. I had my opportunity the Saturday that Josh and Gabe moved to their new home. Meredith and I showed up to help after the salon closed and I was rendered speechless at the sight of Kyle wearing shorts and a tank top, which was the normal attire for muggy August days in Southern Ohio, but it looked sexier on Kyle.
“He’s wearing his ball cap on backward,” Mere whispered.
“Uh-huh,” I muttered, watching as Kyle’s biceps bulged when he lifted one end of the sofa while Gabe lifted the other.
Mere giggled and said, “Let’s go find Josh to see what he needs us to do.”
I felt Kyle’s eyes on me when we walked away because he was the only one that could make me feel hot and cold all over at the same time. I glanced over my shoulder to be sure and caught him staring at my ass. Gabe pushed the sofa at him a little to break the trance and Kyle’s gaze snapped up and collided with mine. I winked playfully at him and faced forward so that I didn’t run face first into a wall or something totally embarrassing.
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