Cherish the Dream

by Jodi Thomas

  “Katherine,” he whispered as though she’d come in answer to his call.

  Suddenly a longing to see her stabbed through him. He’d never allowed anyone to slip beneath his skin the way she had. For as long as he lived, he would remember the joy he had seen in her eyes that morning he took her up. “One hundred percent alive,” he’d told her. “You’re totally alive when you fly.”

  Then as surely as though he’d seen it written in the firelight, Cody knew he couldn’t give up flying. The need to fly coursed through his blood the way a need to gamble or drink did in some men. The attraction might kill him, but at least it would be a clean way to die, one moment drifting through the clouds, the next lying broken on the ground.

  Cody slowly stood and moved to his desk. He had to write Katherine before he slept. Even if he never mailed the letter, he would feel as if he had talked with her tonight.

  * * *

  Sarah finished the last of the paperwork for her shift and handed the charts and the job over to Katherine. “This week has been like a year. I can’t wait to leave this place and be with Bart.”

  Katherine knew Sarah had been on edge for the past few hours, but she hadn’t time to ask why. “Are you sure he’s coming in tonight? The weather looks as if it might turn bad.”

  “He’ll come.” Sarah tried to sound sure. “He had as much trouble saying good night last week as I did.” She remembered how much she’d wanted to run back into his arms one more time before he left, but several other boarders had been watching. She’d seen the need in his eyes also, that need to hold her and touch her as no other man ever had.

  “I feel as if I’ve been on medication all week. I keep looking at the clock, not believing only minutes have passed when it should be hours.”

  “You sound like a woman in love. Next you’ll be telling me he kissed you.” Kat untied Sarah’s apron for her and handed her a cape.

  “He did—” Sarah laughed—“and it was wonderful. But that was last week. What if he’s changed his mind about me? What if he never comes back? What if he’s sorry?”

  “Are you?” Kat asked honestly.

  “No!” Sarah answered.

  “Then I very much doubt he is.” Kat walked her to the door of the infirmary. “It sounds as if you may have caught a terrible illness called ‘falling in love.”’

  “And if I have, will it be fatal?”

  “For you, probably.” Kat laughed. “Just let me know when you think it’s happened.”

  “You’ll be the second to know.” Sarah hurried out the door.

  “Be careful,” Kat urged as she watched Sarah run down the hallway. “Don’t let him break your heart.”

  Sarah waved and slipped outside. She hurried toward the boardinghouse, trying to hold her head high, but with each step she was more sure Bart wasn’t coming. She tried to be sensible. He was older than she, and she wasn’t sure she could handle being a pilot’s wife. But then, he hadn’t talked of marriage. He’d probably kissed a hundred girls the way he kissed her.

  * * *

  Bart Rome turned the sealed envelope over and over in his large hands as he walked out of the Wright Brothers’ workshop and office. He’d already heard about Hoxsey’s death, and Cody’s letter was postmarked the next morning. He didn’t have to steam it open to know what the letter contained.

  He shoved the envelope into his vest pocket and climbed into his car. He knew he should give the letter to Katherine right away, but he wanted to see Sarah and talk with her before she learned another Wright pilot had died. Just as he’d promised, he had waited a week since their night in the park. The longest week of his life.

  Driving toward Columbus, Bart reasoned through all his options. Cody had mailed the letter to the office in care of him instead of sending it directly to Katherine. That had to be his way of telling Bart to deliver it when he thought best. But the news was already headlines, so there was no way Bart could keep it from the girls. Katherine wasn’t exactly pining over Cody anyway. The few times he’d seen her, she hadn’t mentioned Cody’s name. Maybe she was just too busy, or maybe she didn’t want to think about what could happen.

  By the time Bart reached Columbus and turned toward the hospital, he had decided that if it had been his letter to Sarah he’d have wanted Cody to deliver it right away. He parked in the shadows beside the hospital and gripped the steering wheel hard as Sarah walked out and turned toward home. He wanted to call out to her, but he had to see Katherine first. Then there would be time for Sarah and him.

  After Sarah had turned the corner and disappeared, Bart got out of the car and walked through the front door. The strong, almost overpowering, smell of ammonia invaded his senses. Hospitals had always held a dread for him, and this one was no exception.

  He asked the attendant at the desk if he could talk to Katherine, then tried to wait patiently. The bench looked too hard, so he paced back and forth, tapping the letter against his palm as he walked.

  Katherine looked surprised when she stepped out of the infirmary. “Bart,” She looked around. “You just missed Sarah. She couldn’t have left more man a few minutes ago.”

  “I know.” Bart handed her the letter. “I wanted to deliver this first.”

  He’d spent most of the drive thinking about how he’d say the words to Katherine. “Cody wanted you to know about another accident.”

  He saw her face tighten slightly before his words registered. “Cody wanted me to know?” she said. “He’s all right?”

  “He’s fine.” Bart almost smiled, satisfied that for once he’d used the right words. He hadn’t frightened her unnecessarily by telling her about the accident first. “One of the team was killed, but Cody’s fine. I’d like to tell Sarah about it in my own time. You know how worried she gets about the dangers of flying.”

  Katherine nodded and took the letter. She glanced at the doors to the infirmary, then at the attendant. Bart understood her dilemma. “Have a seat,” he motioned toward the bench.

  When she was seated, he stood in front of her facing the desk. His huge body offered her a wall of privacy as she carefully opened the envelope and read.

  Dear Katherine,

  I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to write, but our schedule has been so hectic that the towns are starting to look alike. I find myself seeing crowds and not individual people anymore. Sometimes, I even catch myself acting the way they think I’ll act and not the way I normally would.

  It bothers me that people want to touch me just because I’ve flown. I don’t mind the boys and their dreams or the old men with their questions, but the vicarious thrill seekers unnerve me. They are afraid to follow their own dreams, but they want to touch me, know me, because I follow mine. They pull at pilots as if they could snatch a piece of the dream.

  Today I saw a man die. His wasn’t the first or the last death I’ll witness, I’m sure. Someday it may even be my turn, but I want you to know that I followed my dream to the end without regret and count my life fuller for having done that.

  I had to write you in hopes you ‘d understand. I wish I’d held you once more before I left. Maybe then my arms wouldn’t ache for you so much now.

  I haven’t forgotten my promise to you. I will be back.

  Cody

  Katherine blinked away the tears and stood up. She’d tried not to think about the dangers Cody faced, hoping somehow to push her fear aside by not dwelling on it.

  Bart turned as she folded the letter. She looked up into his gray eyes and for the first time saw kindness there—a kindness Sarah must have seen from the first.

  Looking unsure of himself, he awkwardly opened his arms. “I don’t know what to say.” His low voice cracked.

  Katherine stepped into his embrace, “Just hold me for a minute,” she said, “and then I’ll be all right.”

  Bart could count on one hand the women he’d hugged in his lifetime, and he’d never held one just to give her strength. He patted Katherine’s shoulder lightly, wishing he had a
few hours to think about the right words to say to her. But no words came, so he held her until he felt her inner strength straighten her backbone and she pulled away.

  “Thanks.” Katherine stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. “For bringing the letter and for being here.”

  Without another word she retraced her steps back to the infirmary. Bart stood staring after her long after she disappeared.

  Slowly a smile spread across his rugged face. He wasn’t sure what he’d just done, but damn if he didn’t think he was probably being kind again. If he didn’t watch himself it could become a habit.

  Eleven

  SNOW DRIFTED AROUND her, falling softly against Sarah’s eyelashes, blurring her vision. She forced herself to follow the path home, fighting the urge to run to see if Bart was waiting at the boarding house, yet knowing that if he were in town, he’d have picked her up after work.

  By the time she reached home, snow covered the ground. Though her hands and feet ached with cold, her cheeks burned warm and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. She entered the foyer slowly. It only took one glance to know that Bart wasn’t there. His bulk would have towered in the room. Dinnertime was long past, and most of the residents had gone up to bed. The few who remained only briefly nodded toward her as she climbed the stairs.

  When she reached her room she closed the door and leaned against it, not bothering to turn on the light. Maybe without the light she wouldn’t have to admit he hadn’t come. If only she could hide in the dark forever. The very blackness that frightened Kat now gently cloaked Sarah from reality. Cold air from the open window chilled her skin, reminding her she had to face the truth.

  As she reached for the light, a shadow moved across the moonlit windows. Sarah froze in fear. Someone was in her room!

  The shadow moved again, closer this time.

  Sarah wondered if anyone would hear her or bother to check if she screamed. The intruder couldn’t be a robber; surely a burglar would be wiser than to pick this room to rob. The only thing of value was the tin of cookies Cody had sent them for Christmas.

  The shadow took another step forward. “Sarah,” a voice said, “I’m sorry I’m late. I thought I’d catch you before you reached home.” He moved a foot nearer. “When I realized I hadn’t, I couldn’t wait downstairs for someone to come up and get you. I had to see you and ask if you’re sorry about what we did.”

  Sarah smiled as she watched the giant shift nervously before her.

  “All I’ve thought about this week is that I might have hurt you,” he said. “I almost didn’t come, knowing I’d be doing you a favor if I stayed away.”

  Sarah moved without any thought but to be in his arms. “I’m not sorry—” she laughed as the warmth of him surrounded her—“and I would never have forgiven you if you hadn’t returned.”

  Bart took his first deep breath in days. “I was so worried,” he said as he kissed the top of her head. “I’ll go slow, I promise, only I don’t think I can live without holding you. I had to be alone with you or I’d probably have made a fool of myself in front of everyone in the boardinghouse.” All week he’d dreamed of holding her again, and now she had come running into his arms. “Several nights I woke up and decided I must have dreamed of the way you felt.”

  Sarah brushed her hand along his cheek and felt the wetness of a tear. “You didn’t dream it, my love.”

  “But I’m such a toad.” He brushed his own hand over his eyes.

  Sarah lightly pressed her lips to his jaw, “I think you’re wonderful, Bart. The most wonderful man in the world.”

  He laughed. “You’ve seen little of this world, darling.”

  “I’ve seen enough,” Sarah answered with no doubt in her voice.

  Bart let out a breath and gave up without argument, though he knew he was right. “I heard my uncle say once that I was uglier than a fistful of swamp mud and about as useful.”

  Sarah spread her hands over his heart. “Here lies your beauty. Each time I feel your heart pound, you look more handsome to me.”

  She could say only what was in her heart. “Hold me,” she murmured. “Please touch me again.” He had come back to her. Her love was enough to draw him back. She pulled the tie and allowed her cape to fall to the floor, knowing she’d find in his arms all the warmth she would ever need.

  Bart lifted her up and kissed her long and hard. His lips were warm and demanding as he drank in the wonder of her.

  When finally he pulled an inch away, she whispered, “Hold me the way you did last week. Touch me as you did in the park.”

  Bart looked around the moonlit room. On one side stood a bed and a wardrobe, on the other a small sitting area with an overstuffed couch. Without a word he drew her to the couch. When she sat down, he knelt in front of her.

  Sarah sat absolutely straight with her hands in her lap as he slowly unbuttoned her blouse. Gently, as if she were fragile, he moved, one button at a time, to her waist.

  As he worked he said, “I didn’t mean to tear your clothes last week.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think I could love you any less if all my clothes were in shreds.”

  Sarah relaxed against the sofa, loving the way he touched her. She watched him closely as he pulled her blouse free from her skirt and shoved it open. He seemed to study the ribbons of her camisole for several minutes before deciding what to do. His huge hands moved awkwardly as he untied each ribbon, revealing more of her breasts with each unlacing.

  “You are so beautiful,” he said as she leaned her head back.

  She closed her eyes as his fingers gently uncovered her breasts. Then his callused hands covered her with a tenderness that made her catch her breath. She sighed as his hands began to circle over her flesh, pulling tenderly, brushing love’s magic into her.

  When she felt his mouth touch her skin, she almost screamed. His lips were warm and loving as they tasted her, lingering each time she sighed, repeating every action until she thought she might go mad with pleasure.

  Finally he left her breasts and returned once more to claim her mouth. He kissed her until she felt there was no thought other than the pleasure he brought. She’d felt his hands moving over her body, touching, exploring, loving, but she wasn’t even aware he’d unfastened the rest of her garments until her uniform slid to the floor.

  “Lie down, my love,” he whispered as he lowered her onto the soft cushions.

  She expected him to cover her with his body as he had in the park, but he remained on his knees beside her. As she stretched out, he hesitated, whispering secrets only lovers knew. There was no part of her that he didn’t touch gently, lovingly; he even rolled her onto her side facing him so that he could move his hands along her back and hips.

  His fingers touched the scar on her arm where she’d been burned the night she and Kat ran away, and he paused to kiss it. When Sarah tried to pull her arm away, he whispered, “All of you is beautiful to me.”

  She relaxed as he continued to explore. His kisses roamed over her, building a fire inside her that blazed into a new and passionate paradise.

  “Are you sure?” he finally said. “Are you sure you want me?”

  “Yes,” she answered and felt him pull away. She reached for him in the darkness, voicing a soft cry at the coldness he’d left.

  Bart’s voice filled the darkness. “Patience, my lovely lady.”

  Her hand searched the darkness until she touched his bare shoulder. Her fingers traveled over the muscles of his arm and the soft hair of his chest.

  Bart’s laughter was loving. “Do you want to touch me?”

  Sarah rose up on her knees on the couch. “Yes,” she answered as her hands moved over him. He was a wall of strength. Hesitantly she slid her arms around his neck and pulled his bare chest against her. “I want to touch you with my whole body,” she said and felt his arms go around her as he lowered her onto her back.

  “You’re so small and fragile,” he whispered, almost mindless with the j
oy of feeling her body against his own.

  “I’m woman enough to hold your love forever,” she answered.

  Bart laughed with pure joy. “That you are, Sarah. That you are.”

  Supporting most of his weight with his arms, he slowly let his body completely cover hers.

  Sarah loved the feel of his flesh touching her from head to toe. She reached around him and pulled him lower, excited by the warm wall of his chest pressing against her.

  Bart buried his face in her hair. “I don’t want to cause you any pain, darling, but I understand it sometimes hurts the first time.”

  “I’m not afraid,” she answered as she moved her hands up and down his bare back. “I want to be as close to you as I can be.”

  He kissed her long and gently, unable to say what his heart was exploding to tell the world. No one had ever loved him so completely. A part of him wanted to put her on a pedestal and worship her, but her exploring fingers reminded him of a need more forceful than any storm he’d ever flown through. He wanted to possess her and make her his, but he also wanted to give her equal joy in their passion.

  He would have slowed down, postponing the moment when he knew she’d feel the pain, but Sarah would have none of his hesitancy. She moved her hips against him, silently pleading to feel him inside her. Bart’s control shattered as she opened her legs in welcome.

  When he entered her, he felt her cry against his lips, but he was beyond hearing anything except the pounding of his own heart. He pushed deep into the wonder of her and shattered the crust of loneliness that had built up around him over a lifetime.

  He felt he might explode with happiness as he pulled her to him and they became one forever in a white lightning flash through his mind. He was loved. He was home.

  For several breaths Bart didn’t move above her. Her fingers drifted along his back, relaxing his muscles as his breathing returned to normal.

  She wanted to push him away and ease the pain between her legs, but before she could move, she felt his warm tears against her cheek.