Cherish the Dream

by Jodi Thomas

  Katherine and the students found a place by the border of banners roping off the runway, close to a stage that had been built to announce the winner of the race. The nurses squealed in unison as pilots strode out of a row of low buildings that had been set up as living quarters during the week’s stay. As varied in size and appearance as their planes, all of the men were dashing, each in his own way. Katherine stood apart from the others watching for only one man to step into the arena he seemed to love so dearly.

  The sun hung low against mountain-high clouds when she first saw him coming toward her. His long, lean body looked more powerful than she remembered, and sunlight danced in his hair. He walked with a sure stride of a veteran warrior, his scarf snow white against the dark tan of his face, his boots polished as always.

  With only a quick wave at the crowd, Cody jumped into his plane and raised his thumb to signal to the ground crew that he was ready whenever the field was clear. Katherine’s heart pounded. She could almost hear Cody saying, “Come on, Katherine. Join me. Let’s fly under the rainbow and touch the stars.”

  Suddenly the deafening sound of the engines roared in her ears, and the taste of excitement rose in her throat. As Cody aimed for the clouds she could feel the wind in her face and the frost of the air above the earth.

  The crowd watched the planes dance in the air like flying square dancers listening to the words of an unheard caller. But Katherine didn’t see the others; her gaze never left Cody’s plane. As he flew, all the months of feeling alone crumbled around her. The problems of her day-to-day life melted like a wax shell, and she felt suddenly light and free.

  Each time he dived and soared, she was with him in spirit. Somehow their souls were bound together, and no separation could cut the feelings free. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what he saw as he circled the field. Did he still thrill to the beauty or had another year callused his vision until the sight was only ordinary?

  Darkness settled around the crowd. Ground crewmen lit barrel torches to help the pilots land. People held their breath as plane after plane appeared out of the night sky. Each man drew a cheer as he leaped from his flying machine and walked to the platform to receive his award.

  Moments later she watched as Cody jumped to the ground. He walked toward the crowd waving, as if he saw no individuals, but only a mob he’d seen many times before in many cities.

  When he stepped into the light, she noticed the windburn on his face and saw in his eyes the same wild excitement she’d seen that first morning so long ago. He still felt the magic when he flew; she knew it.

  But Cody wasn’t thinking of the magic of flight or of the noise of the crowd. Ever since he landed in Dayton only Katherine had been on his mind. He’d stormed across the country trying to forget what a fool he’d made of himself with her by almost begging her to love him.

  At first he’d spent most of his time drinking and romancing any woman who offered her charms, but finally he’d realized he was only digging deeper the hole she’d left in his heart. So he had come back to Dayton determined not to fall at her feet. He knew she wanted a commitment from the man she fell in love with. He also knew that even if he could offer her a promise of forever, she probably wanted no such gift from him after all this time.

  “Cody.” She whispered his name as he passed through the mob he’d long ago given up seeing as individuals.

  Like a man awakening from a dream, he turned toward her.

  Over the dancing flames of the torches, she saw him. He took a step toward her and she couldn’t break his stare, even with the squeals of the student nurses at her side.

  Cody walked to the ropes that separated the spectators from the field. Without a word he reached for her hand and pulled her closer. His eyes were filled with longing, yet no smile of welcome touched his lips.

  “Katherine,” he said as the students giggled, “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  She smiled up into his handsome face. “How have you been, Cody?” There were a million things she wanted to say to him, but this was not the time or the place.

  “Fine.” His stare made his words a lie. “How are Sarah and Matthew?”

  “They’re both fine.” Katherine felt as if they were speaking some nonsense language instead of saying what was on their minds. “He’s walking now.”

  “I hope to stop by and see him.” Cody pulled her gently against the ropes so that their bodies were almost touching. The crowd seemed like a wave threatening to wash her away from him.

  He lightly brushed her cheek with a kiss and whispered, “Meet me behind the stands.” She could not mistake the promise in his eyes.

  “I-I…” she stammered, afraid to allow him to know how much she needed him. People suddenly surrounded them, shoving them apart.

  In the flickering light of the torches she watched pain shoot through his eyes, as though he’d broken a promise to himself by asking.

  Then he was gone, leaving her with the young nurses and their questions. Katherine tried to explain to the students that Cody was only an old friend as they wandered toward the carnival, but none of the girls believed her explanation and all of them looked at her in a new and even more admiring light. She had mystery about her because she knew a pilot.

  * * *

  As soon as she could slip away from the student nurses Katherine hurried to the living quarters to the left of the field. She’d endured enough of crowds for one day. With sudden determination, she made a plan. She would find Cody’s quarters and leave the letter she’d written him, then she’d rejoin the student nurses. The money had to be paid back before anything could grow between them.

  The buildings were laid out in rows with one light at the end of each row. Katherine walked from one little house to the other, wondering how she would know which one was Cody’s. They all looked the same except for the numbers over the doors.

  All of the doors were ajar like those of the rooms in a home; there was no need for privacy. As she walked down the row, she glanced inside a few houses. Most were untidy, with piles of clothes lying everywhere and muddy boots standing outside the door. Each had a bed and a small table with only one chair. Several smelled of stale cigar smoke or whiskey. Others were so plain it was apparent they were rarely used.

  Her gaze caught one pair of dress boots outside a door that were not muddy and suddenly, she knew which room was Cody’s. Katherine hurried up the steps and opened the unlocked door. Just like his boardinghouse room, this place was spotless. His bed was made with tight military corners; and, though the table was covered with maps, they looked as if they’d been organized. His clothes were lined up in the closet as if in formation.

  As she stepped into the room, she wondered at Cody’s unusual tidiness. His neat, orderly habits seemed inconsistent with his wild, free way of life.

  Hesitantly she lifted the pillow and placed the letter beneath it. She wished she could have held him, but there had been no time to explain when they’d touched earlier in public.

  Somehow the picture of her life, which had once been so clear, now seemed smeared with the moisture of her own tears.

  She’d thought she sacrificed for Sarah, but Sarah was strong enough to stand alone and take care of Matthew. By the time Kat realized that fact, Cody had been gone a month. And now, now it was too late to pick up the pieces again. Her mind told her she’d be better off with Daniel. They worked well together. But in her heart she could see only Cody’s mahogany-brown eyes looking at her with life and fire.

  Lightly brushing the pillow with her fingers, she wondered if he even cared. She must be just one of many young women he’d known in towns all across the country.

  The door creaked slightly and Katherine whirled around, knowing she was trapped. For the first time since she’d thought of this plan, she realized how far from the others she’d gone. If a drifter had followed her into the camp, she’d be easy prey for a robbery, or worse.

  Cody’s tall frame blocked the doorway. He took a step
forward and struck a match to light a lantern. He studied her as though trying to decide if she was real or a dream.

  “I only…” Katherine turned and reached for the letter. She had to explain quickly why she’d come to his room before he got the wrong idea. Her fingers absently brushed the pillow as if to remove all traces of her presence.

  But Cody stepped behind her before she could turn around. He pulled her back against his chest and encircled her with strong arms. She felt his long intake of breath as he drank in the smell of her hair.

  “I wanted to give…” She couldn’t remember the words as his mouth brushed the side of her throat, planting kisses along her neck. “I…”

  His lips warmed her blood as light kisses brushed her skin. She was afraid to move, afraid he might continue, terrified he might stop.

  “Hold me.” She voiced her one thought, her one need. “Hold me, Cody,” she cried as she turned in his embrace.

  He jerked her cape off in haste as his mouth reached her lips. A sigh escaped her as she parted her lips to welcome him home. One arm held her to him while his free hand dug the pins from her hair, which seemed to be bound as tightly as her heart. A long-unsatisfied hunger drove his actions, as though he, too, had to make a memory come to life.

  He held her close against him, needing to feel her in his arms.

  “Don’t let go,” she pleaded. “Please don’t let go.”

  Cody crushed her against his heart as her words melted the restraint he’d built up to prepare himself for her rejection.

  “I won’t let go,” he whispered as he kissed her tears. “I’ve never wanted to let you go. I’d like to hold you all night.”

  He tilted her head with his hands and lowered his mouth over hers, drinking deep of the taste of her.

  Katherine felt herself flying again, and she didn’t want to touch the ground. Her mind kept telling her to stop, but her body begged for his touch. Her cheeks grew warm and her mouth felt dry from excitement, but she couldn’t pull away from the reality of her dream.

  She returned his kiss with a passion that made him moan with pleasure.

  His hands touched her waist and slowly drove her mad because they didn’t complete the journey to her breasts. His mouth pulled all the longing and loneliness from her with a passion of need that left her light-headed.

  Finally, she pulled an inch away. “I didn’t plan…” She didn’t want him to think she’d planned to meet him here like this. And kissing him had only been a part of her dreams.

  “Hush,” he whispered against her mouth. His kiss was not the young kiss of an excited boy, but the demanding kiss of a man. The taste and smell of him were the same as always, but the power within him was now intoxicating.

  “Let me hold you for a while first before we let words get in our way.”

  The time apart had changed them, hardened them to life and its shortcomings. But now neither could deny the longings exploding within them.

  The memory of the night they’d kissed in the snowstorm drifted through Katherine’s mind. She’d relived it so many times she was unsure which parts were real and which were dreams. Had his mouth really tasted so wonderful? Had she really been so wild?

  Now she knew the answers to her questions. His mouth tasted of adventure, and the air around him was charged with a frenzy of freedom.

  “Kiss me back,” he murmured against her ear. “Kiss me the way you did that winter night when the world stood still and we stole time.”

  Katherine wanted to cry out in pleasure. He remembered. It had been special to him as well. Suddenly she could no longer control her need to feel him against her. She pushed her fingers through his windblown hair and pulled his lips to her, demanding as much as she gave.

  His fingers pulled at the material hiding her flesh from his touch. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered against her lips. “Dear God, Kat, I think I started missing you the day I met you.”

  Suddenly they laughed at the pure joy of being alive and together. He lifted her off the floor and held her against him, planting hungry kisses along her neck, and chuckled when she pulled his mouth back to her waiting lips.

  His actions fed energy to her dying spirit, and she felt herself come alive once more. She shoved his shirt open so she could feel his smooth, hard chest beneath her fingers. A light dusting of sandy hair covered the center of his chest and trailed downward. Katherine boldly ran her fingers over his skin, loving the tight strength just beneath her touch. She placed her palm over his heart and closed her eyes, trying to forever match its pounding in her own heart.

  A hundred things needed to be said between them, but all that seemed important was their nearness.

  When finally he took the time to breathe, he said, “I love you. I think I’ve always loved you.”

  She moved closer, pressing her body against his. She’d been numb for so long she welcomed all the feelings back into her heart. His fingers were strong around her waist, his breath warm against her cheek, his mouth hungry along her neck.

  “Let me love you?” Cody slid his hands beneath her jacket and over the silk of her blouse, and he brushed passion against her as his hand covered her breast. “I’ve dreamed of you so many times, I think I must be dreaming now.”

  He boldly pulled the blouse away so that he could touch her.

  “No, we can’t do this,” she said, no longer able to think clearly. She hadn’t even talked with him, just fallen into his arms.

  He lowered his hands to her hips and tried once more. “I have to catch a train to the East Coast before dawn and from there a boat overseas for a short tour. Come away with me.” He began to unbutton her skirt. “I’ll show you Europe.” His words warmed her like liquid fire as he moved to the next button. “Come away with me, Kat, before I go mad wanting you.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered as she touched his hair. “I’m needed at the hospital. Stay with me. Don’t leave again so soon.”

  “I’ve signed a contract, and the news releases have gone out. With all of the trouble in Europe, this may be the last tour. Come with me. We’ll be back in three months.”

  Kat’s mind was whirling. “I can’t, but I’ll wait for you.”

  “Three months?” Cody whispered into her hair. His fingers twisted into a fist and he pulled her head back, exposing her neck. His free hand moved up from her waist and captured her breast. As his grip tightened, his mouth covered hers in a kiss that demanded all.

  “Three months or three years,” Kat answered when he released her lips. There could be no man in her life without passion, and there was no passion without Cody. She tried to breathe as his mouth touched her throat and his hands shoved her clothes to the floor, telling her forever how clearly she belonged to him.

  “You’ll wait.” He whispered against her skin as his fingers lightly circled her flesh. “While you’re waiting, remember tonight.”

  Kat could feel fire all the way to her toes. She barely had the strength to stand as he moved his hands over her.

  “Tell me again to hold you,” he demanded in a voice low with passion. Her skin was softer then he’d remembered even in his dreams. He slid his fingers low over her hips and pulled her against him.

  Suddenly Kat thought of Daniel’s cold kiss and winter-blue eyes. “Hold me, Cody. Please hold me.”

  Her plea melted his heart. He lifted her in his arms. “Remember once I told you loving was something you took slow, like liquor. Well, tonight I’m going to give you something to remember for the next few months.” He kicked the door closed with his foot. “But we’re not going all the way on the journey. I won’t leave you with a child. I’ll only leave you with memories.”

  He pushed her gently until the back of her legs touched his bed. “I’m going to make you want me so desperately that you’ll never pull away from me again.”

  He sat on the bed and encircled her with his arms. His eyes were full of desire as he admired her body. Slowly, tenderly, he kissed the flesh between her b
reasts, gently brushing his cheeks against the swell of each mound.

  “Cody, I…” Kat began.

  He silenced her by leaning backward and pulling her atop him. “No more talk,” he whispered against her lips. He rolled over her, warming the length of her body with his own.

  Kat stretched beneath him, loving the weight of his body over hers. “I love you,” she answered as she pulled him closer.

  His hands were magic along her body. Making love to her with his touch. He brought her pleasure with each kiss and promised her more with each caress. Tonight he would take her on a flight of passion, molding her feelings into dreams and shaping her need into love. With his touch the world suddenly had color and her life had reason.

  Twenty

  KATHERINE SAT DOWN at the foot of Sarah’s bed. “Cody’s gone. Another three-month tour. I couldn’t hold him even when I wanted him to stay.”

  “Kat, you talked to him! That was a start.” Sarah pulled her robe on and looked out at the gray predawn light. “Come on, I’ll make coffee.”

  “I feel as if I’m fighting myself half the time and him the other half.” Kat followed Sarah into the little kitchen. “He wanted me to pack and leave with him tonight.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Sarah asked. “If you stayed because of me, I’ll borrow one of the doctors’ cars and drive you to the train station myself.”

  Kat laughed, but her tears sparkled in her eyes. “You can’t drive.”

  Sarah looked as though she’d been insulted. “I’d learn by the time I hit the station.”

  “Hit the station would probably be the right word,” Kat added. “But no, I’m not staying just because of you. Though I do have responsibilities here I just can’t walk out on.” She helped with the coffee as she continued, “I’m needed here. I’m not sure Cody will ever need me. Oh, he wants me, but I need him to need me.”