The Ethics of Silence

by C. J. Nash

  “I’m not sure that I can.”

  “Then take off your shirt and hold me. I want to sleep in your arms and I want to feel your body touching mine.”

  Mason sat up and removed his shirt. When he lay down again, he asked, “Now what?”

  “We sleep.”

  “I don’t think I can do that.”

  “Just close your eyes and breathe slowly and hold me. Sleep will come.”

  Mason closed his eyes and kneaded the warm flesh beneath his palm.

  “Mason…”

  “Yes.”

  “Just hold me—nothing else. I’m not ready for anything else.”

  “Will there ever be a time when you want more?”

  “I want more, but I’m not ready for more—not yet. Just sleep. I need you to hold me while I sleep.”

  Mason’s heart beat furiously, blood pounded in his ears. For a brief moment, he pressed his lips to Janet’s neck then said, “Goodnight, Helen of Troy.” It was nearly morning before sleep finally overtook him.

  ****

  When Mason awoke Janet was already gone. He exited the bedroom and encountered Gloria, the Farmer’s wife. “Have you seen Janet?” he asked.

  Gloria shook her head. “She and Eddie both left about two hours ago. Are you just now getting up? Late night?”

  “I had a hard time getting to sleep.”

  Gloria peered questioningly at Mason. Was there a double meaning in that admission? “Janet wasn’t looking too well either; I think she’s been crying. What is going on between you two?”

  “I honestly don’t know. Are you sure that she had been crying?”

  “No, I am not sure but I think so. What did you do to her?”

  “Gloria, I would never do anything to hurt Janet. If she was crying, I’ve got to find a way to make things right.”

  “What things? What did you do to her?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “It matters to you.”

  “I sleep beside her every night. I can feel her body but I can’t touch her heart. Even if I did love her, I can’t have her. So, I guess it doesn’t matter whether I love her or not.”

  “If Janet has been crying then it matters to her also. Maybe you have touched her heart.”

  “I never meant to make her cry. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt her.”

  “There is nothing you wouldn’t do for her?”

  “Nothing.”

  “So, you do love her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you told her?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because no good can come of it. Whatever might happen between us will have to end when I lift for Earth. I can’t ask Janet to love me. I just can’t hurt her that way.”

  ****

  Mason busied himself blending data from the Mars server with data from Earth. While in hiding, he was unable to investigate the murder that had brought him to Mars, but he was beginning to make discoveries in the case that he had left behind. The tangle spanning two worlds was beginning to unravel.

  Chapter 19

  THE LAZARUS PROJECT

  The Farmer usually made his morning rounds alone, but today Janet walked silently at his side. There were indicators to be monitored and adjustments to be made but, for the most part, the farm was in perfect order. The Farmer purposely avoided the other colonists; he was waiting for Janet to tell him what was troubling her.

  Finally she did speak. “Eddie.”

  “Yes, Miss…Yes, Janet.”

  “What do you really think of Mason? Honestly.”

  “I would never be anything but honest with you, Janet. Have you been crying?”

  “No, I haven’t been crying. And you’re avoiding the question. What do you think of him?”

  “Maybe you’re not being honest with me—or maybe you’re not being honest with yourself. You have been crying, haven’t you?”

  “Maybe.”

  “What has Mason done to you? I swear, if you say the word, I’ll recycle that bastard!”

  Janet grasped the Farmer’s arm and turned him so that they were face to face. “It’s not like that, Eddie. He hasn’t hurt me.”

  The Farmer asked angrily, “But what has he done to you?”

  “He has done nothing but be honorable, sweet and kind. If anyone has done wrong, it was me.”

  “I can’t believe that you would ever do anything wrong.”

  “He whispered it to me one night—I’m not even sure how many nights ago. I don’t think that I was supposed to hear; I pretended that I didn’t hear. I should have put an end to it then.”

  “What did he whisper?”

  “He whispered that he loved me. I should have told him that I didn’t want him to love me, that there was no way I could ever feel the same way about him. I should have told him to get that silly schoolboy notion out of his head.”

  “And why didn’t you?”

  “Because I wanted him to love me. Because it feels good to be loved.”

  “You know that everyone in the colony loves you.”

  “It’s not the same and you know it. It’s selfish of me to want him to love me because I know that, if he does, he will be hurt when he lifts for Earth. But still, I want Mason to love me.”

  “But it’s not just Mr. Turner who is going to be hurt when he leaves, is it?”

  “No, Eddie. He’s not the only one who is going to be hurt.”

  Silence wrapped itself around the Farmer and Janet while he finished the morning rounds. When they reached the apartment the Farmer said, “I think you need to talk to Mr. Turner. I’ll be back later this evening.”

  Janet shook her head. “I’m not ready to talk to Mason—not about that. I’ll just tag along with you awhile longer. That is, if you don’t mind.”

  “No, Janet, I don’t mind. But I’m meeting someone for lunch. I don’t know how long the meeting will last and I don’t want you to be bored.”

  “Anyone I know?” asked Janet.

  “Is there even one colonist that you don’t know?”

  Janet laughed. “You know the answer to that.”

  “That’s just your polite way of being nosy,” chuckled the Farmer. “I guess asking if it is anyone you know sounds a lot better than who the hell am I having lunch with.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “Which one?” asked the Farmer.

  “Which one? I only asked who the hell were you having lunch with.”

  “Earlier. You asked me what I thought of Mr. Turner.”

  “And you avoided answering that question, too. Why are you being so damned evasive?”

  “Okay, Janet. What do I think about Mr. Turner? I haven’t spent a lot of time with him—not nearly as much as you—but I like him. But more importantly, I trust your judgment; if you like him, then he must be a good person. It is too bad that he isn’t like all the other assholes they send us.”

  “Why is that?”

  “You would never fall in love with an asshole.”

  “I never said that I was in love with Mason.”

  “You didn’t have to. And to answer your second question, I’m meeting Robert Tellus for lunch.”

  Surprised at hearing the name, Janet asked, “What does that Morlock want?”

  “I didn’t realize that you knew that Mr. Tellus was a member of the Deep Mars Project.”

  “Yes, I know that he is a Morlock. What does he want?”

  “The usual, I suppose. He comes to me about every six to eight months and asks for resources to test his theories.”

  “And what do you tell him?”

  “I tell him that the resources are not available and, when they become available, his project will be prioritized along with the others that wish to exploit our resources.”

  “I’ll be joining you for lunch,�
�� Janet stated.

  “Mr. Tellus isn’t expecting you.”

  “He wasn’t expecting me when he had lunch with Mason, either.”

  “So he’s already spoken with Mr. Turner?”

  “Yes. You sound like you expected him to.”

  “Well he always talks to all the tourists and especially the scientists when they arrive. He is looking to find a sympathetic ear that may have connections on Earth. Someone who might get the governor to insist that I give him the resources that he wants for his project.”

  ****

  Robert Tellus was already seated when Janet and the Farmer arrived at the cafeteria. The Farmer extended his hand. “Mr. Tellus, I think you know Miss Edwards. She will be joining us for lunch.”

  “I had actually expected to speak to you in private,” growled Tellus.

  “Today Miss Edwards and I have work that can’t be postponed. If you have anything that we must discuss in private, we can schedule our meeting for another time.”

  Tellus muttered under his breath. The words were unintelligible but sounded a lot like, “Nosy Bitch!”

  “Excuse me,” said the Farmer. “I didn’t catch that.”

  “I said, let her stay. After all, what I want to discuss is no secret.”

  Janet stood. “I don’t know about you, Mr. Tellus, but Eddie and I have been working all morning. Before you begin, we should get something to eat.” Tellus and the Farmer both stood. Janet smiled mischievously. “Mr. Tellus, I am uncertain whether I am Eddie’s guest or yours.”

  “What?”

  “It’s a question of etiquette. I’ve been invited to lunch. As a guest, I would not normally be expected to pay for my own meal—or would I?”

  The Farmer replied, “Of course, not. You will be my guest, Miss Edwards.”

  “Thank you, Eddie. Just a question. Are you also paying for your own meal?”

  “Well, I suppose so.”

  “Nonsense,” said Tellus. “Mr. MacDonald, you are my guest.”

  “Thank you,” replied the Farmer.

  “Yes, thank you,” added Janet. “As the guest of your guest, I will also accept your generosity.”

  “I didn’t offer…”

  “I’m accepting anyway. Let’s eat. I’m starved.” Janet was already on her way to the serving line.

  The Farmer shrugged. Tellus scowled. They followed Janet.

  Once they had returned to the table, the Farmer asked, “Now what can I do for you, Mr. Tellus?”

  “You’ve recently dismantled that airlock on the farm, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you’ve finished that hole where you plan to plant trees?”

  “I wouldn’t call it finished, but it is sealed and pressurized.”

  “I need to set up an airlock—nothing nearly as large as the one you had on the farm. I need one around four thousand cubic feet. I’ll also need about a half dozen men at first; then after the dome is constructed, I can reduce my crew to just two.”

  “Is that all you need?”

  “I also need a core drill. I would prefer one of the eighteen-inch drills, but twelve inches would suffice.”

  The Farmer did a mental calculation. “That would be a dome about twelve feet high, I believe. Mr. Tellus, can I assume that all this is for the Deep Mars Project?”

  “It is.”

  “And what would be the immediate benefit?”

  “The long term benefit would be…”

  “Not long term. What would be the immediate benefit?”

  “What is the immediate benefit of those trees?”

  “None. But the difference between apple trees and that hole you want to drill is that apple trees have a proven benefit. The Deep Mars Project is still just an unproven theory.”

  “I can show you the math.”

  “Mr. Tellus, I’ve seen your math. I’ve also seen math from those who oppose the Deep Mars Project. It is impossible that both sets of numbers can be correct. At the present time, we just don’t have the resources to devote to unproven theories.”

  “We’ve got the resources. That was a really large airlock that you dismantled. Surely you won’t be needing one that large in the near future. I only need one that is a fraction of that size.”

  “If I give you the material for the airlock, how will you assemble it? I don’t think it is possible for one man to do all that work by himself.”

  “I need a small crew, about five or six men. We can have the airlock assembled and tested in four to six weeks.”

  “I’m sorry, but the colony can’t spare the manpower.”

  “You have just finished digging your hole for those damned trees. Didn’t that free up some workers?”

  “Actually, just the opposite. Constructing the airlock required a lot of manual labor. The same was true when it was dismantled. But the excavation and the pouring of the polymer was largely automated. Now it will require a fairly large crew to ready the orchard for planting. The manpower doesn’t exist for your project. Maybe in six months or so, when the trees have been planted.”

  “And in six months, what project will take priority over mine? I know that you want to add another cavern to expand the farm. I am only asking for five men for a month. After that, I can get by with just two.”

  “Prove your math…or better yet, disprove the math of your opponents and you can have five men—after the apple trees are planted. Six months should give you plenty of time to prove your theory.”

  “What about Lazarus?”

  The question caught the Farmer by surprise. “What?”

  “I said, what about Lazarus?”

  “What do you know about Lazarus?”

  “So there is a Lazarus?”

  “If there were a Lazarus, what would it have to do with the hole that you want to dig?”

  “Mr. Vronsky thinks it might.”

  Janet and the Farmer exchanged glances. The Farmer asked, “Why does Mr. Vronsky think that?”

  “I’ve been talking to the scientists.”

  “I’m sure you have. You always talk to the scientists but this is the first time you have mentioned Lazarus. What does Mr. Vronsky know about Lazarus?”

  “I’m not sure. But I saw the way you and Miss Edwards looked at each other when I mentioned his name. All I know is that I told him about the Deep Mars Project and how you always insist that we don’t have the resources to explore the project. He said that I should ask you about Lazarus. So I’m asking. What about Lazarus?”

  The Farmer partially recovered his composure. “Let me think about it for a couple of minutes. Janet and I are going to get dessert. Do you want anything, Mr. Tellus?”

  Tellus stood but the Farmer placed a hand on his shoulder. “Janet and I are going for dessert. Would you like us to get you anything?”

  Tellus returned to his seat. “Yeah, get me a piece of cake. And refill my coffee.”

  In the dessert line Janet asked, “What is that all about. And what is Lazarus?”

  The farmer answered, “I need your help. Whatever I say to Mr. Tellus, I want you to back me up. Pretend to give in to his demands, but don’t give up too easily—I don’t want him to be suspicious.”

  “How can I give in to his demands? You’re the Farmer. You have ultimate authority over the colony’s resources.”

  “Follow my lead. For the next several minutes, I need you to pretend to head Project Lazarus.”

  “I don’t know what Project Lazarus is. This is not the first time I have heard the name Lazarus. Mason mentioned that name and you refused to discuss it.”

  “Apparently, Mr. Tellus doesn’t know what Lazarus is either, but if we don’t pretend to give in to his demands, he will go back to Mr. Vronsky who apparently does.”

  “What is Lazarus?”

  “I don’t have time to explain it right now.”

  “Then how can I pretend to head Project Lazarus if I don’t know what it is?”

  “That doesn’t matter. As long as
Mr. Tellus is getting what he wants, he will be satisfied.”

  ****

  The Farmer placed the cake and coffee before Tellus. When he sat, he placed a hand on Janet’s knee. “Miss Edwards has agreed to let you have the material for the airlock. And she is also willing to give you a few men to assist you in the Deep Mars Project.”

  “Why does she need to approve the…Oh. She controls Lazarus—is that right?”

  “I won’t confirm that. I’m just telling you what she has agreed to.”

  “Okay, I’ll need about six men to help construct the airlock.”

  Janet felt the Farmer tap twice on her knee. “I can give you two.”

  Tellus stared daggers in Janet’s direction. “I can’t possibly construct an airlock with just two men! With six men I can complete the construction in four weeks and then I can get by with just two.”

  Three taps. “I can give you three.”

  “Damn it! I couldn’t possibly construct the dome with just three men in anything less than a year.”

  Four taps and the hand was removed from Janet’s knee. She stared directly into Tellus’ eyes “Four. Final offer. And you can get off your lazy ass and help with the construction. And I’ll give you six weeks. After that I pull the entire crew whether you’re finished or not.”

  “I will still need two men after the dome is completed.”

  The hand returned. A single tap. “One.” Janet crossed her arms signaling the end of negotiation.

  The Farmer stood and offered his hand to Tellus. “If you will be at the storage facility at oh nine hundred tomorrow, you can select the materials that you need. I will see that there is someone there to help you load it onto a tractor. He will be there to help you; he will not do all the work.”

  Tellus threw his napkin on the table and ignored the offered hand. “I will be there. Your man had better be there—on time.”

  The Farmer squeezed Janet’s knee before removing his hand. He mouthed, “Thank you.”

  Janet finished her dessert and, since Tellus had not touched the cake, she finished that as well. When she had swallowed the last bite she asked, “What was that all about?”

  “I need to keep Mr. Tellus busy until I can question Mr. Vronsky.”