Home on the Ranch: Wyoming Cowboy Ranger

by Rebecca Winters

  Her lower lip trembled. “But I haven’t seen the doctor yet, and—”

  “No buts, Lily,” he interjected. “We’re getting married. This is it. What we have is too precious to let anything get in the way. If we can’t have a baby without doing damage, then we’ll figure out something else, but we’re in this forever. I want you for my wife forever. Do you hear me?”

  He reached for her left hand to slide it home on her ring finger, but she pulled back, shocking him to the core of his being.

  “I can’t let you give this to me. Not yet. One day you could live to regret it.”

  Pain welled up inside of him. He got to his feet, clutching the ring in his hand. He’d been wrong to think a ring would help to reassure her that he wanted her under any conditions.

  “You’re rejecting me without even seeing your doctor first?”

  “Because... I know what he’s going to say.”

  Porter shook his head. “You really believe the worst, don’t you? It appears the man you planned to marry years ago did more damage to your psyche than I realized. I thought we understood each other, but I was wrong.”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks. “You don’t understand, Porter.”

  “Oh, yes, I do. You don’t have enough faith in me, in us! Whatever happened to us working through this together? We love each other, but apparently my love can’t overcome the insurmountable in your eyes.”

  “No, darling. That’s not true.”

  “I’m afraid it is, otherwise this ring would be on your finger.” He forced his next words out through clenched teeth. “I need some time to think, so I’m going to leave.”

  “Oh, please, Porter, don’t go.”

  “It’s for the best,” he said. “When I get out to the car, I’ll call your parents and tell them an emergency came up and I couldn’t stay with you overnight after all. I’m sure they’ll understand and come back to be with you.”

  Without another word, he strode out the door.

  Chapter 11

  Three weeks later a devastated Lily flew to Salt Lake City with her mother for her exam with Dr. Gregson. By now she didn’t need her crutches and walked reasonably well, but twenty-one long, empty days without seeing or talking to Porter had been like a death sentence.

  She knew she’d hurt him terribly. But to condemn him to a wife who might live out her life in a wheelchair by giving him a child she knew he wanted would be beyond cruel. Any woman would sell her soul to be married to a man like Porter, especially one who could bear him children without problem. She still felt he should be given that option.

  Both her parents were silent on the matter because they thought the world of Porter. That was okay. This decision was Lily’s, and hers alone.

  After a morning of testing and X-rays, the doctor asked her to come in to his office alone so they could talk. When she entered it, she was reminded of their conversation years earlier, when she’d heard what he’d told her, but hadn’t really listened.

  “Lily? You’ve come a long way since you were flown in from Vancouver. You’ve made an enviable career for yourself and show no physical signs of the injury to your spine. I’m impressed you’re recovering so well from that gunshot wound. Anyone knowing your history would say you’re a great success story.

  “But I don’t see a ring on your finger and have to admit that surprises me. A beautiful woman like you must have a string of admirers. So I sense there’s something you haven’t told me. What’s the real reason you came for an exam after all this time?”

  She sat back in the chair. “Three weeks ago the man I love gave me an engagement ring, but I couldn’t put it on.”

  He frowned. “Why is that?”

  For the next ten minutes she unloaded to him, telling him everything and revealing her fears. “I purposely didn’t tell you why I wanted this appointment because I needed to hear your honest assessment about my injury. Has anything about my condition changed or grown worse? Are you still of the opinion that if I got pregnant, it could mean paralysis?”

  “If that’s what you thought I said, then it means you didn’t hear everything I told you the first time because you were in such a bad way after your crash. I remember your being terrified that you couldn’t ski or have a baby.”

  Lily sat forward in surprise. “I know I was, and admit I can’t recall everything you said to me.”

  “Then let me clarify some points for you and answer one of your questions first. After today’s examination and a thorough look at the X-ray, I find that you’ve healed even better than I’d hoped.

  “As for getting pregnant, I saw no reason why you couldn’t have a baby then or now. What you don’t remember is this—I told you that in the latter stages of pregnancy, the baby might put pressure on that traumatized area. But if that were the case, your obstetrician would do a cesarean section before any damage could be done. In other words, I believe you can have several children with no fear at all.”

  “You told me all that?” Lily was incredulous to realize how hysterical she’d been after her crash. Oh, my heavens! What have I done to Porter?

  He nodded. “I had no idea you’ve been living with that anxiety all this time. As I recall, you were working with a psychiatrist.”

  “Yes, but I never told him about fears. We talked about possible careers for me.”

  “What a shame,” he murmured. “Certainly it’s true that training to ski again wouldn’t have been wise in case you were subjected to another severe fall. I’m glad for your sake you stayed away from the sport.

  “But as for having a baby and being a mother, that’s entirely different. What I would advise at this stage is for you to visit with your obstetrician right away and tell him or her your history. If you choose to marry and should become pregnant, then you’ll be under close supervision with all the latest modern advantages. Go home to this man you love and enjoy your life!”

  Her heart pounded in her throat as she got up from the chair. “I plan to! Thank you, Dr. Gregson. You’ve made a new woman of me!”

  She hurried out of his office. Her mother stood up when she saw her coming. “I’ve been a mess, Mom, and have made every mistake in the book. I’ll tell you all about it in the rental car on the way to the airport. I have to get home to Porter as fast as possible.”

  “Your father will be meeting us in Jackson Hole,” her mother reminded her. “We have reservations to stay there until tomorrow.”

  “That’s right.”

  Lily was going to have to live through another twelve hours before she could find Porter and talk to him. She could try calling him on the phone, but she knew in her heart he wouldn’t respond. This wasn’t something to be discussed over the phone, anyway. Anything this earthshaking had to be done in person and would probably take a long time considering how deeply she’d hurt him, but she’d never give up. Never.

  * * *

  Yesterday was the day Lily was supposed to have seen Dr. Gregson in Salt Lake City.

  Porter’s watch alarm went off at 5:30 a.m. every morning while he was in the mountains. But this morning he’d awakened to that thought.

  There were always messages from his friends and several from his mother on his cell phone. He texted them back to let them know he was alive, but in three weeks there’d been no contact from Lily and he was empty inside.

  Since coming up here with Dash, he hadn’t been back to town since. The fact that Lily had seen the doctor yesterday—if she’d seen him at all without leaving Porter a response—spoke volumes.

  Why he kept looking for her to contact him meant he was delusional. She’d turned him down for reasons that made sense to her and he had to accept them for the sake of his sanity.

  A few days ago Martin had called him to talk. He said he still wanted him back in the Adirondacks if he ever changed his mind.

  Why not transfer again?
<
br />   Porter knew he’d never get over Lily. Though he had great friends, to stay here would be too painful knowing she lived in the same town. The more he thought about it, the more the idea of leaving Wyoming sounded like the only thing to do if he wanted to get on with his life.

  He climbed out of his sleeping bag like a robot and got ready for his job. With the beautiful weather holding, the forest below Glimpse Lake was filled with fishermen and campers, many of whom disobeyed the rules. By the end of the day he imagined he’d have given out a dozen fines and would most likely would have had to deal with bikers who liked to blaze their own illegal trail off the fire break roads.

  This evening he’d drive back to town and contact the Realtor he’d used to buy the ranch here and ask him to put it back on the market. Tomorrow morning he’d go to headquarters and tell Stan he was flying back to New York ASAP. His boss would understand and arrange the transfer with Martin. As for Dash, Porter would ask Cole to return him to the Owens ranch. All these thoughts and more filled his head as he went about his business.

  At four that afternoon he returned to his camping spot and packed everything in his truck. After he’d loaded Dash in the trailer, he headed down the mountain, eager to put things in motion.

  By five thirty he drove around the back of his ranch to the barn. He fed and watered his horse, then headed for the house. It occurred to him he’d be following in his father’s footsteps. Once his parents had divorced, Porter’s dad left the family home to live on his own until he died because he’d only loved Porter’s mother.

  Porter had inherited his genes because he, too, could only devote himself to one woman.

  He reached for his duffel bag and pulled out his keys, but the back door opened before he could unlock it. When he saw who stood there, he thought he was hallucinating.

  Lily...

  “Please don’t be upset that I’m here, Porter. Cole told me you were still up in the mountains and might not come back down for a while. But he let me in to wait when I told him this was an emergency. I’ve been here since I got back from Jackson Hole.”

  “Jackson Hole?” His mind had to be playing tricks on him.

  “Yes. Mother and I flew there from Salt Lake City yesterday evening. Dad met us and we spent the night at a hotel. This morning he brought us home. I packed some of my things and planned to stay here until you showed up, whenever that was. You and I need to have the most serious talk of our lives.”

  He had trouble breathing. “We already did that.” Porter entered the kitchen and shut the door, then plunked his bag on the floor.

  She shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t let you and made it so impossible, you had no choice but to leave my hospital room. I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me for the way I behaved.”

  Porter turned on the cold-water tap and drank from it for a long time before looking at her. “There’s nothing to forgive, Lily. I had no idea you’d been harboring that secret for such a long time. When I first met you, I couldn’t figure out why some lucky guy hadn’t snapped you up a long time ago. The reason is no longer a mystery. I don’t like anything about your decision, but I respect you and, oddly enough, admire you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “For having the guts to turn me down when I proposed. Like I told you once, you’re the bravest woman I know. That bravery, no matter how misguided, has helped me make a decision.”

  She rubbed the sides of her curvy, jean-clad hips with her hands. “What decision?”

  He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m leaving Wyoming, hopefully by tomorrow evening.”

  Her beautiful face crumbled. “Wh-where are you going?” she stammered.

  “Back home. Melissa Reiver is no longer a threat, and Martin is ready to give me back my old job.”

  Her eyes widened. “You want to leave?” She sounded heartbroken, but how was that possible?

  “Surely you realize that want has nothing to do with it. A door has been closed to me. Instead of destroying myself attempting to pry it open, I’d prefer to move on.”

  She bit her lower lip. “You don’t have to do anything. It’s already open to you and only you.”

  “Is this some kind of riddle?”

  “You know it’s not.” Pain edged her breathtaking features. “What I’m trying to say is, I want to be your wife and I’ll marry you anytime you say. If you’ll put that ring on my finger, it will never come off.”

  Porter couldn’t take much more. “That’s interesting. Am I to deduce that the doctor told you a miracle has happened since your crash, and now you can have my baby without worry that I’ll be stuck with a wheelchair-bound wife?”

  Tears filled her eyes. “In a word, yes.”

  That word permeated the kitchen and infiltrated his body, stunning him.

  “Tell me the truth.”

  “Dr. Gregson gave me a physical yesterday morning, complete with X-rays. When he talked to me after, I asked him if anything about my condition had changed or grown worse. He said I’d healed even better than he’d hoped and saw no reason why I couldn’t have a baby now. So I asked, what if the pregnancy brings on paralysis, like he’d once intimated? He was surprised to realize that I truly hadn’t taken in everything he’d told me before.”

  Maybe Porter was dreaming. “Go on.”

  “When I was brought in, I was convinced my life was over. No more skiing, no hope for children one day.” She took a breath. “During my hysteria, evidently I didn’t hear him tell me the most important news.”

  “What would that have been?”

  “That the crash didn’t ruin my ability to safely carry a baby to term. What he did tell me was that in the latter stages of pregnancy, the baby might put pressure on the traumatized area of my spine.”

  Maybe Porter was hearing things.

  “In the worst-case scenario, my obstetrician would do a cesarean section before any damage could be done. In other words, he told me I could have several children with no fear at all. I’ll be able to give you a son and a daughter, whatever comes first. But I had been in such a bad way back then, I didn’t listen.”

  He was still in shock, trying to compute. “Do you have an obstetrician?”

  “Yes. Dr. Gregson told me to make an appointment right away with a Dr. Sharp here in Whitebark and tell him my whole history. He said these days there’s new technology and more advances in this field to make certain my spine doesn’t suffer. I want us to go together so we both hear everything at the same time.”

  He cocked his head. “Knowing your history, I think that might be a good idea.”

  Lily’s face was bathed in tears as she pulled a man’s gold band from her pocket. “Oh, darling—will you marry me?” She rushed toward him and grabbed his left hand to put the band on his ring finger.

  He couldn’t believe this was happening.

  “We’ll have the most beautiful life. Just don’t turn me down. Please give me the chance I didn’t give you. That was my fault. Maybe one day you can forgive my cruelty.”

  “If you were cruel, it was because you were trying to spare me future grief.” He pulled her close and pressed his forehead against hers. “That kind of sacrifice only makes me love you more, even if I had to run to the mountains to deal with my pain.”

  “If you didn’t come home by tomorrow, I planned to find where you were camping and join you.”

  The love illuminating those lavender eyes compelled Porter to sweep her up in his arms and carry her to his bedroom.

  “Darling—” She let out a cry. “You shouldn’t be lifting me yet.”

  He flashed her a smile. “I’ve had three weeks to recover and am no longer a patient. What about your wound?”

  “It’s healing just fine and no infection.”

  “Thank heaven.”

  When he reached the room, he lowered her
to the bed, but didn’t join her. “Don’t move. I need to get something out of the drawer.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.

  “No, you’re not, because this means we belong to each other.”

  He leaned over long enough to put the ring on her finger before joining her. “Can you believe we’re not in the clinic or your hospital room? Just in case you were worrying, I don’t need a therapist to show me how to love you the way I’m dying to do. I have my own moves. Give me that luscious mouth of yours, sweetheart.”

  “I love you so terribly,” she cried. “You’re my everything. I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you what you mean to me.”

  * * *

  Their hunger knew no bounds. Porter had already forgiven her for the pain she’d caused. Lily couldn’t show him enough how much she loved him. She had no idea how much time had passed while they got swept up in the heat of the moment, but when he suddenly eased himself away from her and stood up, her heart sank.

  “What’s wrong, darling?”

  “We can’t do this. I want our first time to happen on our wedding night, after we’ve been to visit your OB. There’s no such a thing as being too careful when it comes to your health.”

  Lily wanted to argue with him, but decided she’d better keep quiet after what she’d put him through. Besides, she wouldn’t win this argument. When he dug in his heels, that was it. So it appeared she would have to wait because she was going to marry the most magnificent ranger this side of the Continental Divide.

  Taking a deep breath, she rolled off the other side of the bed and stood up to slip into her sandals. “When was the last time you ate?” She knew he had to be starving.

  “I don’t remember.” He sounded grumpy now that he’d delivered his edict.

  “I don’t suppose you have food in the fridge after being gone so long. Why don’t we both freshen up. I’ll take the bathroom down the hall. When we’re ready, let’s go out for a fabulous dinner to celebrate our engagement and make wedding plans. I want to show off my fiancé and my ring.”