Shades of Blue (Part Two of The Loudest Silence)

by Olivia Janae

  “I’ll follow your lead.”

  Kate gave an uncertain nod. It wasn’t until they were nearly through the door to the study that she glanced back.

  Vivian was indeed there, in a tight black wrap dress and heels that made her look fantastic. Instead of Julia, a woman Kate didn’t recognize stood beside her. She was a tall and beautiful ebony-skinned woman in a deep green handkerchief dress. She was smiling broadly, seeming pleased to be meeting Vivian’s mother. Despite the conversation, Vivian’s eyes were not on her date. Those irritatingly rich brown eyes were burrowing into Kate, and even from across the room, the stare burned.

  The moment she turned to look, Vivian’s head snapped back around.

  “You coming?”

  “Oh.” She hadn’t realized she had stalled. “Yeah, sorry.” She followed Charlie through the door. “What was that about, with you two?”

  Charlie rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know. She’s been,” Charlie cleared her throat, “a little more angry than normal. I think... I don’t know, I guess I said something.”

  “Who’s the date? I thought she was with Julia.”

  Charlie snorted out a laugh. “I told you before that she wasn’t big on getting too serious with people. Before you, anyway. She was more of an arm candy for events type. I guess she’s back to that.”

  Kate just made a noncommittal noise, working through that in her mind.

  “Miss Flynn!”

  Kate had been deep in a conversation with William, a fellow WCCE musician whose wife was apparently on the board, when her name was called yet again. She turned, and for the third time that evening, she was met with a person she did not know.

  “Oh.” She wracked her brain, but nothing came to her. She was sure she had met this man before, and in truth, if he was there for more small talk, then she didn’t think she could handle it. She was beginning to feel tired in that deep in your soul way that only small talk can create.

  “Chandler Edmundson.” He reached out and gave her a the most effeminate handshake she had ever participated in. “Are you ready for this audition? It’s madness, isn’t it?”

  She would have been startled to have a complete stranger walk up and ask her that had it not become so typical that evening.

  Charlie tipped her empty glass to a nearby cocktail server, making Kate realize that her face must have looked about as nauseated as she was beginning to feel.

  She just wanted to not think about it. That was all she asked.

  “Well, I’ve heard that we should expect great things from you,” the stranger Chandler said. “I look forward to hearing your first performance with Lyric.”

  Kate was sure she said something, but she wasn’t sure what or if it was intelligible.

  Fresh drinks were handed to them, and Kate took a large gulp. “You’re an awesome date,” she teasingly signed.

  Charlie smirked. “Are you as nervous as the waves of stress coming off of you would indicate?”

  “More.”

  “Uh, wow.” Charlie stepped closer and let her head rest of Kate’s shoulder. The kindness in the touch made Kate smile. “This audition isn’t that big, K.”

  Kate didn’t answer, just nodded into her suddenly empty wine glass.

  “Seriously.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Okay, whatever, stubborn lady. I’ll get more drinks. They are clearly too slow on the draw.”

  Charlie took her glass and turned away.

  Across the room, Kate watched Vivian’s date laughing merrily as she spoke to Mr. Altman. Kate envied her that laugh. She watched intently, trying to decide if this new stranger was deaf or hearing. She couldn’t tell for sure. Did it matter? All right, she knew it did, but she didn’t know why. It took her a moment to realize she was watching.

  “Yo!”

  Kate jumped, realizing she was being called.

  “What did you have?” Charlie signed from the bar.

  Without thought, thanks to all of their lessons, Kate signed the name of the wine back, her thoughts elsewhere.

  Charlie nodded and turned back to the bar.

  Without thought, Kate’s eyes drifted back to Vivian and her date.

  Her heart gave a little squeeze of surprise. Vivian’s eyes were dark, turned on her with an unashamed glare. The look there was strange, intense as she bore into Kate.

  Kate flushed and turned away, that same feeling floating up in her as the long-ago moment that Vivian’s college roommate had laughed at her signing. Had she just signed something wrong?

  “Viv is staring,” Charlie said when she returned with the drinks.

  “What?” Kate spluttered.

  “Are you really so unaware? She has been all night, but she looks pissed now. Did you do something?”

  “Oh. Yeah. She just saw me, uh…” Kate took a sip of her wine. “She’s been staring all night?”

  “She has.”

  Kate frowned, a thrill running through her. “Oh,” she said, feeling stupid as she did. “Hey, have we had any of these?” she asked quickly, moving to a tray of crudités they had already sampled from twice.

  “Katelyn.”

  The imperious voice surprised her.

  “Hmm?” Kate asked around a bite of cucumber.

  “Oh, really,” Jacqueline huffed.

  “Sorry.” Kate swallowed harshly, the cucumber not fully chewed.

  “Now then.” Jacqueline shot Charlie a look that wasn’t exactly friendly. “Excuse me, but I need to steal her away for a minute.”

  Charlie, used to her rudeness, just shrugged.

  “Sorry. I’ll—” Kate didn’t get to finish as Jacqueline gave her arm a soft but polite pull.

  “I swear, Katelyn, I don’t know where your mind is,” she huffed. “You’ve been so preoccupied with Charlotte that you haven’t introduced yourself to anyone. What is it about that girl?”

  Kate debated reminding her that she had been busy shaking hands but decided to leave it. At that moment Jacqueline was steering them directly toward Mr. Altman, who happened to be standing with Vivian and the new stranger.

  “Wait, wait.” She pulled back a little, but Jacqueline trudged on. “Wait, I already know him!”

  “Carlyle!” Jacqueline announced when they were close. She let him kiss her on the cheek. “How have you been, you dear man?”

  Kate rolled her eyes a little bit, and across from her, she saw Vivian do the same.

  They glared, annoyed by their synchronicity.

  “Oh, I’m alive and kicking,” he said with a shrug and a nod of his head toward Kate.

  She barely noticed, responding with a polite hello a second too late.

  The stranger with Vivian turned, as if expecting to meet the new person who had been pulled so close by. Vivian was still glaring.

  Her stomach began to turn and boil, her teeth gritting.

  “Where are those servers?” Jacqueline was grumbling. “I told them no one should have an empty drink tonight. Is that really so hard?”

  Kate saw her chance and touched the back of Jacqueline’s arms to draw her attention. “I’ll get you one.”

  Jacqueline’s face lit up, pleased that Kate was finally understanding her role in their relationship. “Thank you, Kate, that would be very nice.”

  She gave a half nod and, pleased to leave, turned toward the bar.

  She only made it a few steps before someone was suddenly at her side.

  “You’re here with Charlie.”

  Kate’s jaw clenched, and instead of responding, she glanced the opposite direction. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want Vivian to point out that she hadn’t been able to find a date.

  She hadn’t even tried, if she were being honest. She had run into the cute guy at the grocery store two days before, and, though she had started a conversation with him about the price of lettuce, she hadn’t asked him out. He had been nice, handsome in a Chris Evans kind of way. He had even been charming. Still, she had let the conversation
drop. When push came to shove, she didn’t want a date.

  So, she had called Charlie. It had taken the promise of Kate footing their drinks bill for the next four hangouts before she agreed.

  “I wasn’t aware that you and Charlie were that close,” Vivian groused. “Here I thought I was giving her a well-deserved evening off.”

  Again, Kate wasn’t sure what to say.

  It was strange standing next to her in complete silence after that. Her shoulder muscles began to ache, her mouth dry as she searched for anything to say. The problem was, the only things that came to mind were things like “So, who is the new date?” or “Why are you always so mad these days?”, neither of which were helpful or worth saying.

  She felt exhausted when she finally returned with a fresh glass for Jacqueline. Jacqueline took the drink and thanked her, barely pulling herself from her conversation. Before Kate could return to Charlie, she was being pulled in the opposite direction. She could feel eyes on her as they went, but Kate didn’t look back.

  It was a full hour before Kate was able to put her foot down and insist that she needed to excuse herself. She collapsed into the chair beside Charlie with a groan.

  “My, my, you’ve been busy.”

  “I’m sorry. I know I said I would stay with you.”

  Charlie just shook her head, her face thoughtful. “You’re something, you know that?”

  “What?” Kate laughed out loud.

  “Okay, shut up. Really. It took Vivian years to be able to schmooze to her mom’s satisfaction. You just do it naturally.”

  “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.”

  “Oh my god,” Charlie laughed, shoving Kate’s head away as she gave her a playful smile and a teasing wink. “Should we find our seats? I think the dinner is going to start soon.”

  “Sure.” Kate rose. “Hey, Char.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Thanks for coming with me. Thanks for talking to me again.”

  “What?” Charlie looked startled.

  Already she wished she hadn’t said anything. “I dunno, I just mean thanks. It’s nice to have you back. It got... lonely, I guess.”

  A little embarrassed but pleased, her friend flushed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, whatever, lady.” Still she reached over and wrapped Kate in a hug. “Come on. Let’s get drinks first.” She let Charlie take her hand and gently pull her to the bar. “Would you like the same?”

  “Sure.”

  From behind them, just as Charlie was turning back from the bartender, a deep and gravelly throat cleared. It was so close that it made Kate wince.

  “Excuse me.” Vivian pushed forward, despite the fact that there wasn’t exactly enough room for them all to stand here, and ordered two glasses of red wine.

  “Geez, Viv, thirsty much? Ow, your elbow... thank you.” Charlie glared a little as she finally shoved Vivian’s intruding elbow out of the soft part of her arm.

  Kate watched warily as Vivian turned and gave Charlie a withering look.

  “Hello. I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure. You look a lot like my best friend, but I think I must be mistaken.” With a snotty look, Vivian extended her hand. “Hello. I’m Vivian. Vivian Kensington. I’m, for all intents and purposes, Kate’s boss at the WCCE.”

  “Ah, the staring woman.” Charlie feigned ignorance as her hands moved. “Viv, what the—”

  Vivian’s lip curled. “I beg your pardon, but I have not been staring,” she signed back with a growl.

  “Uh, yeah you have. What’s the deal? What the hell is wrong?” Charlie signed as Kate slipped away. She couldn’t blame her. Was Vivian really so angry that they were friends?

  She glanced back and winced so see their hands moving at a rapid-fire pace.

  Across the room the words ”thought you were my friend” were clearly visible from Vivian’s quickly moving hands.

  Charlie’s face had grown pale except for two hot splatters on her cheeks.

  As Kate watched their hands go, her anger mounted. She didn’t try to read the words, but the looks on their faces.

  It didn’t take long before Charlie huffed and stormed away, heading straight for Kate.

  “Char, wha—” But Charlie grabbed her elbow and pulled her along. “What the hell was that?”

  “Nothing,” Charlie growled, briskly wiping a few tears away. “Nothing, she’s just mad.”

  “Because I brought you? Because we’re friends?”

  “I don’t know, Kate,” she snapped. “She wasn’t exactly being rational.”

  She watched her friend’s face twist as she tried not to cry. “What did she say to you?”

  “Nothing.”

  She was lying, that much was clear and that only made Kate more angry. Vivian didn’t get to rule the world. She didn’t get to snap her fingers and make Kate no longer exist. “Would you excuse me?” She rubbed Charlie’s arm affectionately. “For a second. I’ll be right back.”

  “Kate!” Charlie called, but she didn’t listen. She was too angry.

  In quick, mechanical steps, she started after Vivian, grabbed her arm, and dragged her away from her date.

  “Let go of me, Ms. Flynn!” Vivian snapped.

  Kate’s hand only tightened, pulling her from the sitting room into the kitchen.

  “What the hell was that, Vivian?”

  Vivian was apparently ready for this fight. She turned on Kate with a vengeance, her teeth bared, forehead vein thrumming. “Do you have any idea how inappropriate it is for you to bring someone to my mother’s house? Any at all?”

  Kate blinked a few times, trying to work through her words. “The hell do you mean? I brought Charlie!”

  “No.” Vivian sneered, looking at her like she was a bug. “I guess you wouldn’t. What was I thinking?”

  “Are you kidding me right now? Vivian, what the hell is going on? Why is this such a big deal?”

  “Between the two of you,” Vivian spluttered. “I can’t even begin to... I’m just... appalled.”

  “What are you talking about? Appalled? Why?” She wasn’t making any sense at all. If Kate didn’t know any better, then she would have said Vivian was jealous. “Viv, you can’t break up with me then expect everyone to forget I exist! Are you really so big-headed that you think—”

  “It’s Ms. Kensington to you. I am your superior and boss!”

  “Oh, cut the crap, Vivian. What you’re doing, the way you’re treating Charlie is messed up! She’s your best friend. Is it really worth—”

  The door to the kitchen blew open, and Jacqueline came in, her face tomato red, her hands balled into tight fists.

  “We can hear you in the hallway,” she hissed like a serpent, her lips moving not at all as though her rigidity would somehow make her quieter.

  Vivian’s eyes darkened. Kate knew that she had not understood her mother.

  Kate could have helped, she could have told her, but at that moment, with her blood boiling as it was, she instead gave Vivian another glare and turned. “It’s all right, Jacqueline, I was just leaving.”

  She marched past the matriarch, who was occupied pinning her daughter with her stare and barely noticed her go.

  The hallway was dark, and Kate paused, trying to gather her thoughts before she rejoined the crowd.

  What the hell had that been? Was Vivian really so controlling? Each time they had seen each other lately, it went badly. Because they never got to have the angry post-breakup phase, were they going to have it now? Was Vivian really going to demand that Charlie stop being her friend? Because that was ridiculous. Charlie had hinted at it, maybe even said it, but she hadn’t thought for even a moment that would be how it really was.

  The kitchen door smacked open, and Vivian strolled out, giving Kate only the most cursory of glances before she walked by her, demanding so much room that Kate had to press herself into the wall so Vivian didn’t run into her.

  Kate swore, closing her eyes and counting under her breath.

&
nbsp; She mattered. She wasn’t just going to disappear. She wasn’t. She turned and started back to Charlie.

  “Hey.” It had taken her ten minutes to work her way through the crowd to her friend. “I’m sorry that took me so long. And I’m sorry about that in general. I shouldn’t have asked you to come. I didn’t think Vivian would react like that.”

  Charlie scoffed. “I should have. She’s just, ugh, she’s just been so angry!”

  Kate’s shoulders slumped. “I don’t get it. Why? It’s been forever. She hates me. Why be pissed now?”

  “I don’t know,” Charlie said with a sigh, but there was something in it that betrayed her.

  “Char?”

  Charlie’s eyebrows drew together, her fists balling in her lap.

  “Okay, what’s up? Char, what—”

  The explosion that followed seemed like it had been building since late December. Kate wasn’t sure if she was surprised or not as Charlie began to rant. But what she said sent Kate’s head spinning.

  “Kate, do you realize all I’ve heard about tonight is Vivian? Like, that is it. And I’ve been wondering, is it just because she’s a mutual friend? But no, it’s not that. It’s you. And her. It’s you two. It’s been months, and all I hear from her is how horrible you were and all I hear from you is how horrible she was, and blah, blah, blah.”

  Kate stared. “What?”

  “You literally talk about nothing else. Okay, not literally, you do, but not very often!”

  “I so do not!”

  “You do, too! Why do I know that you only had thirty minutes to pack? Why do I know that she walked out before you could say anything? Why do I know all of this shit that she never told me?”

  Baffled, Kate stared at Charlie, hoping beyond hope that she was wrong, but as she watched Charlie’s face, she could feel all of her words coming back. She had talked about her. Incessantly. “Oh god, I talked about her all night, didn’t I?”

  Charlie graciously did not answer.

  “Oh my god!” Kate moaned, pulling Charlie into the hallway for a little more privacy. “Please tell me you’re kidding. Why would I do that? Oh my god, how do I always suck this much?”

  “Kate, you don’t suck,” Charlie said. “She does it, too. You guys talk about one another all of the time, which would be fine, only you never talk to each other. It’s driving me nuts! You’re both so fucking in love that it’s killing you, only you’re both too stupid and stubborn to see it!”