A sob rips from Mom’s throat. “Oh, honey. I hate that you were so lost for all those years. That you didn’t feel you could come to us. That we didn’t notice.”
“Let’s get real, Ma,” Kalvin says. “Look at all the shit we were dealing with, and we all know Keats. He always puts everyone else before himself. He was never going to put that on us.”
“I came close to telling Faye so many times,” I admit, smiling at my sister-in-law-slash-cousin on the screen. “But I was scared of admitting it even to myself.”
“Oh, Keaton.” Tears stream down Faye’s face, and Kyler’s arms band around her stomach as he holds her even closer. “I knew you were trying to tell me something. I thought I was right to not push it, but maybe I should have.”
I shake my head. “I needed to do this at my own pace. When I was ready, and I’ve only just reached that point. I still have so much stuff I need to work through.”
“Does Melissa know?” Kaden asks.
“No. I wanted all of you to know first, but I will tell her. I plan to visit her tomorrow before I leave for the airport.”
“This will devastate her,” Cheryl says, speaking up for the first time.
“I know, and my biggest regret is not having the balls to end things with her properly when I first left for Berkeley, because I’ve only hurt her more these past couple years.”
“Or it might free her,” Selena suggests, her soft voice matching her tender smile. Keanu presses a kiss into her hair, smiling at her adoringly in a way that gives Kyler a run for his money.
“It might help her gain closure,” Lana agrees. “And you shouldn’t apologize for who you are, Keaton. We all know you’re a good person with a good heart. You didn’t hurt her intentionally.”
Kent snorts, and it’s his first reaction. My muscles lock up, and I brace myself for whatever is about to come. Several heads whip in Kent’s direction, but he doesn’t look up, and my nerves are jangling again. Acid crawls up my throat when I lock eyes with Keanu, spotting the same anxiousness on his face.
“Just be honest with her,” Rachel says, deliberately slicing through the sudden tension in the air. “Tell her what you’ve told us, and hopefully, she can find it in her heart to forgive you.”
Kent barks out a laugh, finally lifting his head. “Not fucking likely.” His eyes burn with dark resentment, and I flinch. The look of pure venom on his face has me wishing the ground could open and swallow me.
“Kent. I—” I cut myself off, unable to form words. I don’t know what to say in the face of such blatant hostility. From experience, I know it’s better to let Kent stew. I’ll try to talk to him when he’s calmed down. The very last thing I want is to say something that will drive an even greater divide between us or cause a full-scale family argument.
Kent’s lips curl into a snarl as he stands, glaring at me. “If I ever needed further proof that I’m not like the rest of you, this is it.” He casts a scathing look around the room. “Look at you all tripping over yourselves to act like this is no big deal.”
“I can see you’re pissed, but at least give Keats a chance to get his story out,” Keanu says, pleading with his eyes as he stares at Kent. “It’s not like this is really a big surprise to either one of us.”
“Isn’t it?” Kent snaps. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Kade stands. “Don’t make this about you. For once in your Goddamned life, can you think about someone else?”
“And I resent the insinuation that we’re faking our reactions,” Kalvin adds. “So what if Keaton is into guys? He’s our brother. Your triplet. And this isn’t the dark ages. Many people are bi or gay or pan these days. Who the fuck cares?” He jabs his finger in Kent’s direction. “Keats being gay doesn’t change who he is to us.”
“I understand if you feel hurt because you’re closest to Keaton and Keanu,” Ky says. “Maybe you and Keats should discuss it privately when you’ve calmed down.”
“Go fuck yourself, Ky,” Kent seethes. “You don’t fucking know what’s in my head.” He scrubs a hand down his cheek. “You’re all a bunch of self-serving assholes,” he hisses, and I don’t understand where this deep hatred is coming from. “And you have the nerve to call me selfish?” He drills a loaded look at Kade.
“Kent.” Dad’s voice holds considerable warning. “You’re upsetting everyone. If you could just explain what’s going on so we can—”
“What?” Kent roars, throwing up his hands. “Pretend like you understand me? Like you honestly give a shit?”
I glare at my brother as Mom quietly sobs into my shoulder. Out of all of us, Kent is the one to always make her cry, and I hate it. I hate seeing my mother cry. It destroys something inherent inside me, and I just want to bundle her up and protect her from anyone who wants to hurt her.
I don’t know what’s gotten into Kent. He’s always been volatile and prone to slinging hurtful words and cruel accusations, but he hasn’t been this bad in years.
He’s an attention whore, and he’ll tell you he isn’t loved, that our parents never cared for him, when the truth is he claimed a huge chunk of their attention when we were growing up because he was always getting into trouble and acting out purely to provoke them. Mom and Dad spent more time bailing him out, bringing him to different shrinks and therapy sessions, and trying to understand him than they did with any of my brothers. We don’t begrudge him that or at least I don’t. I can’t speak for my brothers even though it doesn’t appear any of them hold any grudges, but it’s not like we’ve ever openly spoken about it.
We tolerate Kent’s behavior because we love him. It’s part of who he is. I wish I knew what demon my brother worships at the altar of, because I’ve never understood why he lashes out. Why he always seems so angry with the world. But he is who he is, and we can’t force him to be someone he’s not. We’ve all tried getting him to open up, but he never does. So, we do what we can to make allowances for him and just accept him the way he is.
But this shit is way out of line.
“Hate me all you want,” I say, sending a daggered look at my brother. “But don’t you dare take this out on Mom or anyone else.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Keaton
“I do hate you,” Kent spits, stalking to where I’m sitting, leaning over me with a dark look. Pain stabs me in the chest. “You make me sick,” he adds, casting a derisory glance up and down my body. “Fucking pervert,” he snaps before storming out of the room, leaving bloody wreckage in his wake.
A thousand pinpricks stab me through the heart, and intense pain presses down on my chest to the point I can scarcely breathe. I try to swallow over the anguished lump in my throat, and it almost chokes me. Tears prick my eyes, and I squeeze them shut, folding my arms around myself in a desperate bid to maintain my composure.
How can he say that to me? Is that really what he thinks? Why? Am I that disgusting to him now?
Anger smashes through the hurt, charging through me, and I snap my eyes open, lowering my arms and clenching my fists.
Fuck. Him.
He doesn’t get to take his petty narrow-minded prejudices out on me. I’ve never understood him, and he doesn’t understand me, and maybe that’s always the way it will be.
In this moment, I’m more concerned about Mom because she’s shaking and sobbing at my side, hurting as much as I am at Kent’s cruel words.
“Where did we go wrong with him?” Mom cries, looking to my dad with red-rimmed eyes and flushed cheeks.
Dad nudges me, and I stand, letting him take my place and comfort her. “Shush, darling. Kent is a grown man, and it’s time he started taking responsibility for his actions and who he is.” Dad offers me a sad smile. “Like Keaton is doing today.”
Cheryl stands, hauling me into a hug. “Don’t let Kent take away from today. He loves you, and he’s hurting. He didn’t mean it, and I’m sure he’ll come around.” She runs a hand up and down my back in a comforting gesture.
I’m honestly not sure he will, and after what he’s just said, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him, but I keep those thoughts to myself.
“I’m proud of you,” she adds, easing out of our embrace. “And I hope you’re happy now because we could all see you were struggling.”
“Thanks, Cher Bear.” Cheryl was Keven’s childhood sweetheart and a permanent fixture in our home when we were growing up. Until Kev messed everything up and lost her for a few years. Thankfully, they found their way back to one another, and now they’re getting married next year. I couldn’t be happier for my brother, because Cheryl is an angel and she has the purest heart.
“I’m sorry, Keaton,” Mom says, and I turn back around. “Kent should not have said what he said. He was way out of line.”
“Don’t apologize for Kent, Mom. It’s not your place. He just needs to process.” I don’t know why he’s so upset, and I doubt he’ll tell me, because he’s always closed off where his emotions are concerned. “I’m so grateful for your support. That goes for all of you,” I add, offering a fragile smile to the rest of my family. “It’s taken me months to pluck up the courage to tell you the truth. Along with Austen’s encouragement.”
“Austen knows?” Mom asks.
I wet my suddenly dry lips. “Eh, yeah. Actually, that’s the other part of what I have to tell you.” I scratch the back of my head. “Austen’s not just my roommate. He’s my, ah, boyfriend.”
Rachel jumps up, squealing and enveloping me in a bone-crushing hug. “Way to go, Keats.”
She high-fives me.
Like we’re ten.
“Austen Hayes is a total fucking ride,” she supplies, grinning.
“Is he now?” Brad asks, pouting slightly.
She rolls her eyes. “Get over yourself, McConaughey. If you’re allowed to drool over Camila Cabello, then I’m allowed to drool over Austen Hayes.”
“Eh, yeah, no.” I narrow my eyes playfully. “The only one allowed to drool over Austen Hayes is me, but I can appreciate your good taste.”
“And don’t pretend like you don’t drool over Shawn Mendes,” Brad adds, because those two just can’t help one-upping each other. “I totally know that’s why you bought tickets to his last gig.”
“Shawn is super sweet,” Selena says. “I met him at a charity event one time. He’s a really nice guy.”
“We should reach out to him for help promoting Moonlight,” Keanu says, weaving his fingers through his wife’s long blonde hair.
Moonlight is the facility Selena and Keanu are building to provide support services for victims of sex abuse. It’s an ambitious plan that will take years to put in place, but they are already making good progress with the build. Everyone in the family is contributing in some way, and we’re all invested in making it a success.
“That’s a good idea,” Selena says, beaming at Keanu. “I’ll add his name to our list.”
“Oh my God,” Lana gasps, eyes locked on her cell. “Your boyfriend is seriously hot.”
“Give that here,” Kalvin says, snatching the cell from his wife’s hand.
Cheryl, Rachel, and Eva crowd around Kalvin, angling for a look at the phone. Oohs and aahs ring out, and I can’t wait to tell Austen about this later.
“Meh.” Kalvin scoffs. “He’s not that hot.” His lips twitch.
“He is totally hot,” Lana protests, pursing her lips. “Don’t tell me your masculinity is offended.”
Kalvin shrugs, letting his grin loose. “I’m just winding Keats up.” He eyeballs me. “Your man is hot as fuck. That ink? Those biceps and abs?” He winks suggestively, and I roll my eyes. He’s such a clown. “Go you.”
“Oh my God. I have no words,” Faye says, smiling over a yawn.
“Let me see.” I hold out my hand and Kal places Lana’s cell in my palm. I can’t contain my grin as I stare at the photo Lana pulled up on Google. It’s a photo from Austen’s last game, and the photographer captured him just as he pulled off his helmet. His hair is flat on top of his head, but you barely notice because the massive smile on his handsome face is all you see when you look at the pic.
“He looks happy,” Mom says, sneaking a peek.
“They won that game by a landslide, and it was his best game so far this season,” I explain.
“I think it’s because he’s in love,” she says, squeezing my arm.
Kal barks out a laugh. “Here we go.”
“What’s wrong with loving the fact my boys are in love and happy. It warms my heart.” Her smile fades a little, and I know she’s thinking of Kent, because he’s the only one not paired up now. I know how much she worries about him. She’s previously confessed she’s scared he won’t find a girl strong enough to take him on.
“There is nothing wrong with that, Mom.” I pull her into my arms. “And I can’t wait for you to meet Austen. I already know you’ll love him.”
She pats my face. “I will, sweetheart. He’s your choice, and that’s a given.” A wicked gleam appears in her eye. “Of course, it helps that he’s so pretty to look at.”
A chorus of groans rings out.
“That’s gross, Mom,” Kev says. “You can’t hit on Keaton’s boyfriend.”
She laughs, her face full of joy. “Oh, lighten up. I’m not hitting on him. Why would I when I have my own sexy stud right here?” She swats Dad’s ass, winking at him in a way I never want to witness again. A fresh round of complaints bounces off the walls, and my brothers share my nauseated look.
“I swear you want us to puke,” Kal says. “Knock that shit off, and act your age.”
“Kalvin Edward Kennedy.” Mom swats the back of his head. “I’ll have you know that you’re never too old for sex. Especially second-chance sex. It’s the best.”
Thank fuck we haven’t eaten yet, because I’m pretty sure I’d have just lost my lunch after that comment. I wish I could rewind time and unhear it. No kid wants to know about their parents’ sex life. Ugh. So gross.
Dad bursts out laughing, hauling Mom into his arms. “I think you’ve made your point, love. If you continue, you might just scar them for life.”
“The point is,” Mom adds, losing the humorous expression as her gaze jumps around the room. “I have eyes, and I’ve always admired beauty in all its shapes and sizes. If I’m allowed to tell your girls they’re beautiful, I’m allowed to tell Keaton’s boyfriend he’s beautiful too.”
“That’s a valid point,” Keven says. “But you know we were just yanking your chain.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Mom says, snuggling into Dad and smiling. “You all keep me young.”
“I love that photo,” I tell Lana, handing her back her cell.
“I can’t wait to meet him,” she says, her joy for me obvious.
Warmth spreads across my chest, and I deliberately ignore the pain I’m working hard to mask, thanks to Kent’s cutting words.
“How long have you and Austen been together?” Eva asks.
“A couple months, so it’s still early days, but it’s going well. He’s great.”
“You’re positively glowing.” Mom’s smile expands. “You’re definitely in love.”
“I am.” Heat floods my cheeks, but I’m not ashamed to tell my family I love him. “He’s amazing, and he’s helped me accept who I am.”
“I cannot wait to meet him.” Mom pins me with a look I know all too well. “He is still coming to your birthday celebration, right?”
“Yes, Mom. He’ll be here.” She drops her hands, reaching behind me to grab my forgotten glass of wine.
She hands it to me, smiling. “I want to make a toast.” We all reach for our drinks. Everyone gets up, forming a circle around Mom and me. Rach holds her cell out, ensuring Faye and Ky are included. Their love wraps around me, and tears threaten to spill. Right now, it feels like I can handle anything—even Kent’s obvious disgust and disappointment—because my family understands and they accept and support me. Support us.
As Mom looks at me, with nothing but love and pride shining in her eyes, I realize how truly wealthy I am. All the money in the world pales in comparison to this. “To Keaton and Austen. To courage and truth.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Austen
“What are you doing here?” Keats asks, a massive smile appearing when he exits through the gate and finds me waiting for him.
“What does it look like?” I push off the pillar I’m leaning on, grinning at the look of complete and utter adoration on my boyfriend’s face. Fuck. Seeing that will never get old.
Casting a quick glance around, to ensure no one is paying us attention, I lean into his ear and whisper, “I wanted to pick my boyfriend up from the airport. Shoot me if that’s a crime.” Keats gave me his SUV this weekend as he knew I wanted to hike. His plan was to take an Uber home from here, but there was no way I wasn’t picking him up.
“I missed you like crazy, man,” he says, as we walk off in the direction of the parking lot.
“Tell me about it.” I grab his carry-on in an attempt to stop myself from reaching for him.
My skin crawls with the need to touch him, to hold him, to kiss him.
I know. I’ve got it bad.
“I hate the overnights with away games, but two nights’ separation was hell,” I admit. “We’re not doing that again.”
The second we climb in the car, we’re all over one another, and I thank God for whoever invented black-out windows.
Keaton pulls me into the back seat, kissing me with fierce passion as we tear at each other’s clothes.
He lies naked on top of me as we kiss, jacking both of us off in his hand, while my hands roam his body, kneading his ass, my finger flirting cautiously against his puckered hole. He hisses as I gently push the tip of my finger in, his cock jerking against my stomach, but he doesn’t flinch or pull back, so I slowly ease my finger all the way in. I’ve wanted this. So much. And I memorize every second of him clenching around me, so happy he’s trusting me to take care of his pleasure.
Adoring Keaton: A Stand-Alone Friends-to-Lovers MM Romance (The Kennedy Boys Book 9) Page 19