In Five Years

by Rebecca Serle

  And outside of work?

  I’ll be married to David. We’ll be living in Gramercy Park, on the park. We’ll have a kitchen we love and enough table space for two computers. We’ll go to the Hamptons every summer; the Berkshires, occasionally, on weekends. When I’m not in the office, of course.

  Aldridge is satisfied. I’ve cinched it, I can tell. We shake hands, and the receptionist is back, ushering me through the offices and to the elevators that deliver me once again to the land of the mortals. The third glass was just to throw me off. Good shot.

  After the interview I go downtown, to Reformation, one of my favorite clothing stores in SoHo. I took the day off from work and it’s only lunchtime. Now that the interview is over, I can turn my attention to tonight, to what is coming.

  When David told me he had made a reservation at the Rainbow Room, I immediately knew what it meant. We had talked about getting engaged. I knew it would be this year, but I had thought it would have happened this past summer. The holidays are crazy, and the winter is David’s busy time at work. But he knows how much I love the city in lights, so it’s happening tonight.

  “Welcome to Reformation,” the salesgirl says. She’s wearing black wide-legged pants and a tight white turtleneck. “What can I help you with?”

  “I’m getting engaged tonight,” I say. “And I need something to wear.”

  She looks confused for half a second, and then her face brightens. “How exciting!” she says. “Let’s look around. What are you thinking?”

  I take barrels into the dressing room. Skirts and low-backed dresses and a pair of red crepe pants with a matching loose camisole. I put the red outfit on first, and when I do, it’s perfect. Dramatic but still classy. Serious but with a little edge.

  I look at myself in the mirror. I hold out my hand.

  Today, I think. Tonight.

  Chapter Two

  The Rainbow Room is located on the sixty-fifth floor of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. It boasts one of the highest restaurant views in Manhattan, and from its magnificent windows and terraces you can see the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building floating amongst the city skyline. David knows I’m a sucker for a view. On one of our first dates, he took me to an event at the top of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. They were showing some Richard Serra pieces on the roof, and the sunlight made the giant bronze sculptures look like they were on fire. That was two and a half years ago now, and he never forgot how much I loved it.

  The Rainbow Room is usually closed for private events only, but they open their dining room during the week to select clientele. Because Tishman Speyer, where David works, owns and manages the Rainbow Room and the underlying real estate, these reservations are first made available to employees. Usually they’re impossible to get, but for a proposal…

  David greets me at Bar SixtyFive, a cocktail lounge adjacent to the restaurant. The terraces are now covered, so even though it’s reaching frigid temperatures outside, people can still take advantage of the superb view.

  Under the guise of David “coming from the office,” we decided to meet there. He wasn’t home when I came back to change, and I can only assume he was running last-minute errands, or taking a walk to ward off nerves.

  David is wearing a suit, navy, with a white shirt and a pink-and-blue tie. The Rainbow Room is, of course, jacket required.

  “You look very handsome,” I say.

  I take off my coat and hand it to him, revealing my fire-engine red ensemble. Bold, for me, in color. He whistles.

  “And you look very incredible,” he says. He hands my coat to a passing porter. “Would you like a drink?”

  He fidgets with his tie, and I understand, of course, that he is nervous. It’s endearing. Additionally, he seems to be sweating at his hairline. He definitely walked here.

  “Sure,” I say.

  We sidle up to the bar. We order two glasses of champagne. We toast. David just stares at me, wide-eyed. “To the future,” I say.

  David downs half a glass. “I can’t believe I didn’t ask!” he says. He brushes the back of his hand against his lips. “How did it go?”

  “I nailed it.” I set my glass down, triumphantly. “It was honestly butter. It couldn’t have gone better. Aldridge was the one who interviewed me.”

  “No shit. What’s their time frame?”

  “He said they’d let me know by Tuesday. If I get the job, I’d start after the holidays.”

  David takes another sip. He puts his hand on my waist and squeezes. “I’m so proud of you. One step closer.”

  That five-year plan I expressed to Aldridge isn’t just mine, it’s ours. We came up with it six months into dating, when it was obvious this thing between us was serious. David will transition out of investment banking and begin working at a hedge fund—more opportunity for big money, less corporate bureaucracy. We didn’t even argue about where we want to live—it’s always been Gramercy for both of us. The rest was a fluid negotiation. We never came to an impasse.

  “Indeed.”

  “Mr. Rosen, your table is ready.”

  There is a man in white tails at our backs, ushering us out of the bar, down the hallway, and into the ballroom.

  I’ve only ever seen the Rainbow Room in movies, but it’s magnificent, truly the perfect place to get engaged. Round tables sit gracefully in tiers around a circular dance floor, where a dazzling chandelier hangs overhead. Rumors are the dance floor rotates, a spinning circle in the center of the room. Ornate floral arrangements, reminiscent of a wedding, pepper the dining room. There is a festive, old-world holiday air. Women in fur. Gloves. Diamonds. The smell of good leather.

  “It’s beautiful,” I breathe.

  David squeezes me to his side and kisses my cheek. “We’re celebrating,” he says.

  A server holds a chair back for me. I sit. A white napkin is produced in a flourish and eased onto my lap.

  The slow, smooth styles of Frank Sinatra float over the dining room. A singer croons in the corner.

  “This is too much,” I say. What I mean is that it’s perfect. It’s exactly right. He knows this. That’s why he’s him.

  I wouldn’t say I’m a romantic, exactly. But I believe in romance, which is to say, I believe in calling to inquire about a date instead of texting, and flowers after sex, and Frank Sinatra at an engagement. And New York City in December.

  We order champagne again, this time a bottle. Momentarily, my chest ticks at what tonight will cost.

  “Don’t think about it,” David says, reading me. I love that about him. That he always knows what I’m thinking, because we’re always on the same page.

  The bubbles arrive. Cool and sweet and crisp. Our second glasses go down easy.

  “Should we dance?” David asks me.

  On the floor, I see two couples swaying to “All the Way.”

  Through the good or lean years, and for all the in-between years…

  Suddenly, I think that David may grab the mic. He may make this public. He is not a showy person, by nature, but he is confident, and unafraid of public displays. I am unnerved at this possibility. Of the ring arriving in my chocolate soufflé and his getting down on one knee for all the world to see.

  “You want to dance?” I ask him.

  David hates dancing. I have to drag him at weddings. He thinks he has no rhythm, and he’s right, but so few guys have rhythm that it really doesn’t matter. There are no wrong moves to “P.Y.T.” except sitting down.

  “Why not?” he says. “We’re here.”

  He offers me his hand, and I take it. As we make our way down the steps to the rotunda, the song switches. “It Had to Be You.”

  David takes me in his arms. The two other couples—older—smile in approval.

  “You know,” David says, “I love you.”

  “I do,” I say. “I mean, you’d better.”

  Is this it? Is this when he drops?

  But he keeps just moving me, slowly around the rotating rotunda. The song ends
. A few people clap. We go back to our seats. I feel, suddenly, disappointed. Could I be wrong?

  We order. A simple salad. The lobster. Wine. The ring is neither perched on the lobster’s claw nor drowning in a glass of Bordeaux.

  We both move our food around on our plates with lovely silver forks, barely eating. David, usually chatty, has a hard time focusing. More than once he knocks and rights his water glass. Just do it, I want to tell him. I’ll say yes. Perhaps I should spell it out with cherry tomatoes.

  Finally, dessert arrives. Chocolate soufflé, crème brûlée, pavlova. He’s ordered one of everything, but there is no ring affixed to any of their powdered tops. When I look up, David is gone. Because he is holding the box in his hands, right by my seat, where he kneels.

  “David.”

  He shakes his head. “For once don’t talk, okay? Just let me get through this.”

  People around us murmur and quiet. Some of the surrounding tables have phones aimed at us. Even the music lowers.

  “David, there are people watching.” But I’m smiling. Finally.

  “Dannie, I love you. I know neither one of us is a particularly sentimental person and I don’t tell you this stuff a lot, but I want you to know that our relationship isn’t just part of some plan for me. I think you’re extraordinary, and I want to build this life with you. Not because we’re the same but because we fit, and because the more time goes on the more I cannot imagine my life taking place without you.”

  “Yes,” I say.

  He smiles. “I think maybe you should let me ask the question.”

  Someone close breaks out in laughter.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “Please ask.”

  “Danielle Ashley Kohan, will you marry me?”

  He opens the box and inside is a cushion-cut diamond flanked by two triangular stones set in a simple platinum band. It’s modern, clean, elegant. It’s exactly me.

  “You can answer now,” he tells me.

  “Yes,” I say. “Absolutely. Yes.”

  He reaches up and kisses me, and the dining room breaks out in applause. I hear the snaps of lenses, the oohs and aahs of generous goodwill from surrounding patrons.

  David takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto my finger. It takes a second to waddle over my knuckle—my hands are swollen from the champagne—but when it does, it sits there like it has always been there.

  A waiter appears out of thin air with a bottle of something. “Compliments of the chef,” he says. “Congratulations!”

  David sits back down. He holds my hand across the table. I marvel at the ring, turning my palm back and forth in the candlelight.

  “David,” I say. “It’s gorgeous.”

  He smiles. “It looks so good on you.”

  “Did you pick this out?”

  “Bella helped,” he says. “I was worried she was going to ruin the surprise. You know her, she’s terrible at keeping anything from you.”

  I smile. I squeeze his hand. He’s right about that, but I don’t need to tell him. That is the thing about relationships: it’s not necessary to say everything. “I had no idea,” I say.

  “I’m sorry it was so public,” he says, gesturing around us. “I couldn’t resist. This place is practically begging for it.”

  “David,” I say. I look at him. My future husband. “I want you to know I’d suffer through ten more public proposals if it meant I got to marry you.”

  “No you wouldn’t,” he says. “But you can convince me of anything, and it’s one of the things I love about you.”

  * * *

  Two hours later we’re home. Hungry and buzzing off champagne and wine, we crouch around the computer, ordering Thai food from Spice online. This is us. Spend seven hundred dollars on dinner, come home to eat eight-dollar fried rice. I never want that to change.

  I want to put on sweatpants, per usual, but something tells me not to—not tonight, not yet. If I were different, someone else—Bella, for example—I’d have lingerie to wear. I’d have bought some this week. I’d put on a matching bra and underwear and hover by the door. Fuck the pad thai. But then I probably wouldn’t be engaged to David right now.

  We’re not big drinkers, and the champagne and wine have gotten to both of us. I edge myself farther onto the couch. I put my feet in David’s lap. He squeezes the arch of my foot, kneading the tender place my heels are unkind to. I feel the buzzing in my stomach move upward to my head, until my eyes are being pulled closed like blinds. I yawn. Within a minute, I’m asleep.

  Chapter Three

  I wake up slowly. How long have I been asleep? I roll over and look at the clock on the nightstand: 10:59 p.m. I stretch my legs. Did David move me to bed? The sheets feel crisp and cool around me, and I weigh just closing my eyes again and drifting back to sleep—but then I’d miss this, our engagement night, and I force them open. We still have more champagne to drink, and we need to have sex. That’s a thing you should do on the night you get engaged. I yawn, blinking, and then sit up, my breath exiting my body in a rush. Because I’m not in our bed. I’m not even in our apartment. I’m wearing a formal dress, red, beaded around the neckline. And I’m somewhere I’ve never been before.

  I could tell you I think I’m dreaming, but I don’t, not really. I can feel my legs and arms and the frenetic beating of my own uneasy heart. Was I kidnapped?

  I take in my surroundings. On further glance, I realize I’m in a loft apartment. The bed I’m in is flush up against floor-to-ceiling windows that appear to orient me in… Long Island City? I look out, desperate for some anchoring image. And then I spot the Empire State Building, rising out of the water in the distance. I’m in Brooklyn, but where? I can see the New York City skyline across the river, and to the right, the Manhattan Bridge. Which means I’m in Dumbo; I must be. Did David take me to a hotel? I see a redbrick building across the street with a brown barn door. There’s a party happening inside. I can see camera flashes and lots of flowers. A wedding, maybe.

  The apartment isn’t giant, but it gives the illusion of space. Two blue velvet chairs sit necking in front of a glass-and-steel coffee table. An orange dresser perches at the foot of the bed, and colorful Persian rugs make the open space feel cozy, if not a little cluttered. There are exposed pipes and wood beams and a print on the wall. It’s an eye chart that reads: I WAS YOUNG I NEEDED THE MONEY.

  Where the hell am I?

  I hear him before I see him. He calls: “Are you awake?”

  I freeze. Should I hide? Make a run for it? I see a large steel door, across the apartment, in the direction of where the voice is coming from. If I bolt, I might be able to get it open before—

  He rounds the corner from what must be the kitchen. He’s dressed in black dress pants and a blue-and-black-striped shirt, unbuttoned at the top.

  My eyes go wide. I want to scream; I might.

  The well-dressed stranger comes over to me, and I leap onto the other side of the bed, by the windows.

  “Hey,” he says. “Are you okay?”

  “No!” I say. “No, I’m not.”

  He sighs. He does not seem surprised by my response. “You fell asleep.” He runs his hand back and forth across his forehead. I notice he has a scar, crooked, over his left eye.

  “What are you doing here?” I’ve backed myself so far into a corner I’m practically pushed up against the windows.

  “C’mon,” he says.

  “Do you know me?”

  He bends one knee onto the bed. “Dannie,” he says. “Are you really asking me that?”

  He knows my name. And there’s something about the way he says it that makes me pause, take a breath. He says it like he’s said it before.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t know where I am.”

  “It was a good night,” he says. “Wasn’t it?”

  I look down at my dress. I realize, for the first time, it’s one I already own. My mom and I bought it with Bella on a shopping trip three years ago. Bella has the same
one in white.

  “Yeah,” I say, without even thinking. As if I know. As if I were there. What is happening?

  And that’s when I catch the TV. It has been on this whole time, the volume low. It’s hanging on the wall opposite the bed and it’s playing the news. On the screen is a small graphic with the date and time: December 15, 2025. A man in a blue suit is prattling on about the weather, a snow cloud swaying behind him. I try to breathe.

  “What?” he says. “Do you want me to turn it off?”

  I shake my head. The response is automatic, and I watch him as he walks to the coffee table and grabs the remote. As he goes, he untucks his shirt.

  “Weather warning for the East Coast as a blizzard heads toward us. Possibility of six inches overnight, with continued accumulation into Tuesday.”

  2025. It’s not possible; of course it’s not. Five years…

  This must be some kind of prank. Bella. When we were younger, she used to pull shit like this all the time. Once, for my eleventh birthday, she figured out how to get a pony into my backyard without my parents knowing. We woke up to it playing chicken with the swing set.

  But even Bella couldn’t get a fake date and time on national television. Could she? And who is this guy? Oh my god, David.

  The man in the apartment turns around. “Hey,” he says. “Are you hungry?”

  At his question, my stomach rumbles. I barely ate at dinner and wherever I am, in whatever parallel universe with David, the pad thai has most certainly not yet arrived.

  “No,” I say.

  He cocks his head to the side. “Kind of sounds like you are.”

  “I’m not,” I insist. “I just… I need…”

  “Some food,” he says. He smiles. I wonder how wide the windows open.

  I slowly come around the bed.

  “Do you want to change first?” he asks me.

  “I don’t…” I start, but I don’t know how to finish the sentence because I don’t know where we are. Where I would even find clothes.

  I follow him into a closet. It’s a walk-in, right off the bedroom alcove. There are rows of bags and shoes and clothes hanging, organized by color. I know right away. This is my closet. Which means this is my apartment. I live here.