White: Emala's Story (Ragoru Beginnings Book 1)

by S. J. Sanders

  “Emala has done nothing to harm us,” Korash objected. “Unless you consider the happiness of Mishar, your own brother, a great detriment.”

  Vordri balked. “Of course not!” He looked over at his brother. “You know that I value you above everything, even my own self. Don’t you see how dangerous it is to trust her? I am saying these things to protect you—to protect our family! Even if she is exactly as she says, the huntsmen will come after her. At the very least we should return her to the humans. Set her outside one of the villages that dot the forest. They will know better how to care for her than we do!”

  Emala turned in Mishar’s arms to see how he was receiving Vordri’s words. In truth, she couldn’t help but admire his protectiveness of Mishar. It would hurt if she were rejected now, but if he had any doubts, she wanted to see them, especially since he wouldn’t be able to speak them to her in a way that she would understand yet.

  Holding his brother’s gaze firmly, Mishar began to slowly and emphatically sign. Korash translated for her benefit.

  “I am not afraid of the huntsmen. I will kill any who threaten my Emala. I am not afraid of human men who may try to steal her from me. I will destroy them. You think I am soft because I prefer to be calm and treat things with gentleness and respect, but if the day comes, I will show you the strength of Mishar. Never say again that you wish to remove her from me!”

  The male behind her snapped his fangs forcefully at his brother. Vordri stepped back, his eyes wide as if he’d never truly seen his brother before. He looked uncertain, as if he wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say. Emala felt a stab of pity. She sympathized with how lost he was feeling. She didn’t like abrupt change either. It was strange to feel a kinship with a male who obviously loathed her, but there it was.

  “Mishar...” Vordri tried again.

  “It is enough, Vordri,” Korash spoke at last, his voice rough with impatience. He regarded Emala silently before speaking again. “Moving quickly is unwise. Winter is practically upon us. If the huntsmen are tracking Emala, whether covertly or in cooperation with her, we will do them no favors by fleeing our territory during a time of year where we will be more exposed and vulnerable. Running is what prey does, not Ragoru. I do not believe she is leading us astray. I detect no deceit upon her. She stays here, at least for now until we can determine that no threat has followed her down the mountains. It is the least I can do to repay my debt to Jaryna. If the valley is clear for travel when the moon cycles, then we will discuss, as a family,” he emphasized with meaningful glances to both of the brothers, “our feelings on the matter of Emala’s presence in our den.”

  As much as Emala hated being spoken of as if she weren’t there, she had to admit that it was an admirable solution for the time being. He was giving her a chance to prove herself while trying to waylay some of Vordri’s anxieties and comfort Mishar at the same time. He made no promises to anyone. Everything was left to wait and see.

  At length, Korash set his cup beside the hearth and stood up, his gaze darting between the other two males. “I will fetch some pelts for Emala’s comfort and then I will go to our sleeping chamber. Do either of you plan to join me?”

  Mishar’s arms tightened around her and he shook his head. He met her eyes and made a simple gesture conveying that he would stay in the main room with her. Her heart melted at that even if it made Vordri all the more disgruntled. The golden Ragoru snarled and turned to storm away, following Korash into another chamber further back in the den. Emala wasn’t sorry to see him ago. She was, however, immensely grateful when Korash returned with a generous pile of furs and pillows. His smile was kind as he handed over his offerings and wished them a good night.

  It didn’t take them more than a few minutes to set out their bedding. There was something relaxing about the familiar routine. Now, instead of rushing amid the cold air and snow, they were comfortably warm inside the den preparing their bed.

  Mishar settled on the pile of pelts first, his arms open for her. Emala dropped to her knees beside him before crawling up beside him and burrowing into his warmth. His breath tickled her ear as he curled into her and pulled the pelt snugly around them. With his nose buried in the crook of her neck, she knew the moment he drifted off to sleep as his breath slowed to comforting gusts against her skin. Emala didn’t fall asleep quite so easily. She stared into the fire that crackled in the hearth, distracted by the brush of his body against hers with every breath. She wondered what it would be like to truly lay with him. For his welcoming arms to do more than embrace her. She blushed in the dark as her arousal spiked. Behind her, Mishar let out a raspy sound, not unlike a groan, in his sleep and snuggled closer to her.

  Her mother would have been pleased to know that Emala was there with a Ragoru triad. Emala, despite her initial reservations about mating with Ragorus, was also happy about the turn of events. She only wished that she had more insight about what to expect and how to go about the whole mating business if it even came to that. With Vordri’s reaction, she wasn’t so sure that their triad would desire her as a mate, but she really did want to experience someone touching her out of love rather than hasty caresses moved by desire. She knew she would find that with Mishar, if she was given the opportunity.

  Yawning widely, Emala at last permitted herself to drift into the comfortable darkness of sleep in Mishar’s arms.

  Chapter 13

  Emala stood outside, her fur coat wrapped around her in addition to another fur that Korash had insisted on throwing over her before she’d stepped out. It took two days for the snows to move in. Although she didn’t know what the weather was usually like in the small valley, the males had watched the snow with unease when the fat flakes began to drop around midday, and for five days it hadn’t let up for more than a few minutes. It didn’t storm. There were no howling winds keeping them barricaded in the den. Instead, it was a magical sight to see one giant flake after another fall ceaselessly. She could have enjoyed it more if she ignored the snow drifts climbing around the den and weighing down the trees. The idea of not being able to leave the den made her feel claustrophobic.

  She took comfort in the knowledge that at least there had been no sign of anyone approaching the valley. Although that didn’t mean much when it came to the Order, she breathed a sigh of relief that Alix and his kin weren’t looking for her. One less thing to worry about. She doubted that they would make the effort now. They had struck her as mean but lazy. No doubt they were already in another village looking for another foolish girl to lure into their trap. She only hoped that Erik and his huntsmen would be similarly discouraged.

  When she said as much to Mishar, he had given her an encouraging nuzzle before leaving to patrol the triad’s territory to make sure no intruders approached their den. It didn’t take her long to work out that the males seemed to alternate that task, in addition to hunting for fresh food. While two of the triad came and went from day to day, at all times one male stayed to guard the den. At first, she’d thought it was because they didn’t trust her to be there in their home alone, but she soon realized that was not the case; it was simply a matter of routine. This time, it was Vordri’s turn to stay while the other males went out to see to their duties. She hated to think of him watching her every move when everyone had something to do except her. In a way, she was standing outside more to avoid him. Oh, he was watching her still, but it made her feel less underfoot and... useless.

  It both frustrated and embarrassed her that she had no skills to offer. To make matters worse, the triad didn’t even attempt to share the workload with her. They didn’t show her how to do anything and, in fact, actively discouraged her from helping. She hadn’t noticed the first few days, thinking that they were allowing her time to rest and heal after her ordeal, but it quickly became apparent. The more they rebuffed her attempts to help, the more her embarrassment grew, and a melancholy began to set in. It was clear to her that they didn’t want her around when she couldn’t do anything at all to con
tribute. It was a harsh, ugly truth. Without direction, she couldn’t do anything.

  If she were in the Citadel, or even in a village, she would have been more in her element. She could have gone to the market or even prepared meals and baked goods from the knowledge she’d gleaned from the manor cook whenever boredom drove her to the kitchens—which was often. What did she know about surviving in the wilds? They didn’t have any kind of provisions that she recognized outside of small pots that they heated water in, woven baskets and clay jars filled with various raw goods, and a simple spit anchored within the large hearth. The latter they only used in the evening. Whoever was in the house during the day ate dried provisions, and she suspected that those patrolling and hunting didn’t even bother to cook the meat they consumed.

  If only she still had some coin and could get to a market... She could get the necessary supplies to make stews, bread, or maybe even trade for a milking goat to make cheese. She had never actually made cheese, but she knew theoretically how it was done. It couldn’t be too hard. Instead, she passed her time with nothing to occupy herself with the one male who openly disliked her. She didn’t think Korash was too far behind Vordri in that regard. The one time she attempted to help keep the den tidy when she was left with Korash, he’d hovered over her so much that the experience had been uncomfortable. However, it wasn’t until she caught him moving things around that she’d just got done straightening that she finally gave up.

  Emala sighed, her breath an icy cloud in front of her. She might as well face facts: this wasn’t her home and they had no intention of sharing the responsibilities. Vordri and Korash had relegated her to guest. They fed her, provided everything she needed—even if Vordri did it with a scowl—and kept her out of their way. Mishar tried to include her, but it wasn’t often that his rotation put him in charge of the den and even when he was with her, he liked to clean on his own before she roused so that he could spend the day cuddling when he wasn’t grooming her. He really enjoyed combing her hair and arranging it to his liking. She found it amusing and it felt wonderful, but it still didn’t make her feel like she was in any way useful to their unit.

  “Are you planning on standing out here all day?” Vordri demanded as he stepped out beside her. “I am responsible for the den, not making sure you don’t get hurt out here. If you are going to be an imposition, you could at least do it somewhere less inconvenient.”

  Emala gritted her teeth, rankled by his attitude. “It is a good thing that you are not responsible for me then. Go back inside and take care of whatever needs your attention,” she replied in a cold tone.

  His enormous, golden body stepped in front of her and he dropped his head low enough to meet her eyes, his yellow orbs burning at her as he growled. “If anything happens to you on my watch, Mishar would never forgive me, so get your small, furless hide back inside where I can keep an eye on you. For all I know you could be out here trying to signal to huntsmen on the mountain,” he sneered. “My brother and Korash may be deceived by you, but I can see the truth of the matter. You are a threat to our home.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “You really think that, don’t you? That I am freezing my ass off out here to send a signal rather than just trying to get away from your unpleasantness! Well, guess what? Getting as far away from you as possible is the only excuse I need. You may be brothers, but Mishar got the better personality between the two of you.”

  His head whipped back and his ears flattened in surprise. However, before he could fire another verbal shot, Emala turned and stormed back inside the den. She no longer cared if she stepped on his toes. She was done being politely tucked away, and she was tired of playing nice with a male who couldn’t manage to be anything but rude to her. He had a snide thing to say every day since she’d arrived. It had made for a long week.

  Grabbing a leather rag and a wide-mouthed jug of water that he’d left sitting in the middle of the main room when he came out to poke at her, Emala tackled the living space, venting her frustration on every square inch. To her surprise, she found a square of soap wrapped in the leather, no doubt made from lye procured from the fat of their prey. As she got started, she was only all too aware of Vordri following her into the den.

  “What are you doing?” he grunted.

  Emala didn’t bother glancing in his direction. “I would imagine you have enough brain cells to deduce what I am doing,” she answered. “In case you need help figuring it out, I’m cleaning.”

  “It is not your place to care for our den,” he grumbled. “Who knows what you could be doing to it?”

  She stared up at him in disbelief. “You are jesting with me, right? What am I going to do? Endanger your lives with a bit of soap and water? Are you afraid the lack of dirt is going to have a devastating effect on your wellbeing?” she asked, widening her eyes in mock horror.

  Vordri growled but refrained from replying. All for the best. If he said anything else to her, he would have ended up wearing the water bucket. Not that he was any less grumpy. Every now and then she could hear him huff irritably to himself, no doubt over some silent commentary running through his head regarding something that she was doing wrong. To her relief, he eventually got bored watching her clean and went back into his room. She had no doubt that he was still listening and would come running at the sound of anything suspicious, but at least he was no longer hovering and staring at her.

  Four water changes later, Emala was exhausted and ached demonically in more than one place where her body was still tender. She smiled with satisfaction at how clean the stone floors and the hearth looked. It was a shame that it was still snowing, or she would have taken the furs outside to beat the dust out of them. A broom leaned against one wall where she’d left it. Unlike the brooms she was accustomed that were to made from straw, this broom was made from numerous wild grasses with a lemony scent and long bunches of herbs. She recognized laurel among them and wondered if there was any reason for those specific plants put together or if it was just material that had been randomly collected. Her exploring did come up with lavender tucked inside of a pot with a lid. Pleased with her find, she tossed the herbs onto the hot coals at the edge of the dwindling fire so they would release their sweet, clean smell.

  “Have you finished making a mess out here, female?” Vordri asked as he entered the room again. “I need to build up the fire. Evening is coming up and you’ll be likely to freeze without it. So Mishar insists, anyway. Korash should also have some small game wi...”

  Vordri froze, his eyes sweeping over the room. Though she hadn’t been able to beat the furs, she’d shaken them out as much as possible before sweeping and washing the floors. They were now stacked in small piles on the floor. His nostrils flared, no doubt detecting the trace scent of the lavender she’d burned. He frowned, examining the way she’d stacked the various baskets of supplies.

  “You moved things,” he said.

  “I made it more organized and efficient,” she clarified. He grunted in reply.

  “It does smell pleasant,” he acknowledged finally. “My brothers will enjoy it, especially when we must close the den during the worst part of winter—if you are still here,” he added. “It is... nice.”

  He cast her a furtive glance and strode over to the fire, turning his back toward her for the first time since she’d met him. Taking a sharpened oak stick from a tall woven basket, he poked at the fire until it snapped to life before returning the stick to its place. Vordri folded his arms over his chest and regarded her through lowered eyelids, his yellow eyes glinting from the firelight.

  “Mishar trusts you. I do not like it. I do not know you aside from what you tell us, and I have no personal insight on the events that transpired when you met him. This makes me uncomfortable trusting you with my brother, and with my triad and den.”

  “Is it because I am human, or is it just me in particular? Would any human be preferable to me?”

  Vordri cocked his head and seemed to consider her question. “No
,” he said at last on a sigh. “I would not prefer another human to you. In truth, I do not care for you because Mishar is already bonding to you. I do not want my brother to be hurt. I cannot see anything good that can come from bonding a human—especially not one that the huntsmen want. If I have to protect him from that bond, I will.”

  Emala wanted to be offended but he said it with no malice. He spoke plainly and even his ears tilted to the side with what seemed to be mild regret. Despite that, there was a fierce determination in his eyes. He was genuinely worried for his brother and his family. Although one or two huntsmen could be handled as easily as Mishar had boasted, she knew for a fact, as did Korash, that an entire contingent would wipe out their entire triad. It seemed that Vordri had also been thinking on this and was not as confident as his brother.

  He would do anything to protect him, even break Mishar’s heart.

  Instead of rebuking him for his assumptions, Emala sighed wearily. “I will be honest: I do not know what the huntsmen will do. I worry about them as well, far more than I do the merchants who attempted to enslave me. I have had nightmares every night since I escaped of them coming after me. Now I worry about them coming here and destroying everything good about this secret place. Especially since I care very much for Mishar...Truthfully, I am already falling in love with him, I guess bonding as you say. It would break my heart if anything happened to him because of me. I admire that you want to protect your brother even if you are terrible to me, because I know you wouldn’t let anything happen to him. I don’t want to leave, Vordri, I could easily care about all of you if given the chance, but I also know how a Ragoru triad works. If you don’t want me here, I know I cannot stay. Nor would I put myself between the two of you. It wouldn’t be right,” she said quietly. “If you truly feel this way when Korash calls for the family discussion, I’ll insist on leaving to save any further argument between you.”