Textbook Approach: A Small Town Romance

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  “Are you okay, bud?”

  “I’m fine,” he grumbled, pushing himself up.

  “If some kid pushes you around like that, you should push him right back,” Will said from behind me.

  I wasn’t sure how helpful that advice was, but I didn’t correct it either. I didn’t want my kid to sit by and let others bully him. But Oliver didn’t seem to like having another man step in and tell him what to do. He shoved past him, knocking his shoulder into Will’s side and took off around the pond again.

  I smiled up at Will. “Sorry about that.”

  He shrugged. “The kid doesn’t know me. It’s fine.”

  “Thank you for stepping in.”

  “It’s no problem. Does that happen often?” he asked, jerking his chin toward Oliver.

  I sighed. “Unfortunately, I think it does. Oliver is smaller than most of the kids, and his dad…well, he’s not exactly…” I didn’t know how to describe him. “He’s docile.”

  “Docile,” Will snorted. “Okay.” We stepped off the ice and started walking back over to the bench. “Would I be stepping over some line if I asked to take you out to dinner?”

  I looked up at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  His eyes locked on Nathan still sitting on the bench. “I wasn’t sure if you were with Nathan or not.”

  “Oh,” I laughed. “Um…Nathan and I have an understanding.”

  His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean,” I said hesitantly, “that we enjoy each other’s company, but when one of us is looking for something different, it’s no big deal.”

  He nodded in understanding. “So, would you like to go out to dinner with me?”

  “That depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Am I going to be able to go out with you without Nathan tagging along to talk baseball?”

  He barked out a laugh, throwing back his head. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll buy him some tickets to a hockey game. That should keep him out of our hair for the night.”

  * * *

  I waved goodbye to Will and headed to my car with Nathan and Oliver, who had barely spoken since the incident on the ice. I was grinning like an idiot, and I didn’t care who saw.

  “Christ, I’ve lost you, haven’t I?” Nathan asked.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, feigning ignorance.

  He sighed heavily. “I should have known. He’s a baseball player. Of course, you would like him.”

  I scoffed at the ridiculous statement. “I don’t care that he was a baseball player. It seems to me that if anyone wants him because he’s a baseball player, it’s you.”

  “Me?” he said incredulously.

  “Yes, you. You were fawning all over him. You shoved between the two of us and grilled him about his career.”

  “I was showing an interest in him because I could tell you liked him.”

  I snorted. “You were begging for even the smallest crumb from him. It was pathetic.”

  “I was not,” he pouted, getting into the car.

  “Can I go back to Dad’s?” Oliver asked.

  “It’s your night with me, bud.”

  He sighed and stared out the window. I knew that he just wanted to be at his dad’s because of what happened today. His dad had a way of dealing with him, mainly giving him anything he wanted. So, he would most likely play video games all weekend. But I had to work tomorrow, so I was taking him home tonight with me.

  “Sorry, bud. You’re going back to your dad’s tomorrow. Tonight, you’re all mine. We’ll do pizza.”

  “Is Nathan coming?” he asked hopefully.

  “I don’t know,” I said, glancing over at Nathan. “Is Nathan coming?”

  He sighed again, obviously still rankled over the fact that I liked Will. “Yeah, I’ll come over, but I get to choose the movie.”

  “What? That’s not fair. You always get to choose the movie!” Oliver complained.

  Nathan actually spent quite a bit of time with Oliver and me, despite our unusual situation. We were friends first and lovers second. And he really liked Oliver, which made me happy.

  “Why do you get to choose the movie in my house?” I asked, though not really perturbed by any of it.

  “Because you’re leaving me for a baseball player.”

  “I’m not leaving you. You know I have no interest in that.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he pouted. “You’ll see. He’s the one. You’re going to run off together and have a baseball themed wedding, and have baseball babies. And you’ll completely forget about me.”

  “What are baseball babies?” Oliver asked.

  I shot Nathan a look and he sighed, resting his chin in his hand as he leaned against the window.

  “Nothing. Nathan’s just pouting because he wants to spend more time with the baseball guy.”

  “Maybe you should invite him over tonight,” Nathan said, suddenly perking up.

  “And why would I do that? Besides, he has someone else’s kid tonight. He’s not going to bring the kid here.”

  “You don’t know that. He could need your help. He wasn’t exactly the paternal type.”

  “Right, and he would come to me because he’s known me all of an afternoon.”

  “He might,” Nathan grumbled.

  I reached over and patted his hand with fake sympathy. “It’s alright. I’ll make sure you get to see him again.”

  “Whatever. You’re just saying that.”

  “Honestly, if things don’t work out between us, I’ll make sure to give him your number.”

  “You promise?” he asked.

  “Cross my heart,” I said, trying not to laugh.

  Nathan perked up after that, carrying on a conversation with Oliver the rest of the drive home. I couldn’t believe that Nathan was so upset over this whole thing. Not us taking a break, but him not getting to spend more time with Will. It was a little disturbing to say the least. But at least they got along and I wouldn’t have to worry about there being an issue there. I had given Will my number. Now I just had to wait for his call.

  Will

  “Uh…hey,” Eric said as he took in the kid standing behind me. “Did I miss the ‘bring a kid to poker night’ memo?”

  “This is Paul’s kid.”

  “Paul?”

  I shoved past him and walked inside, taking off my coat. Adam walked inside, looking around the house. My brothers were already at the table, eating chips and shooting the shit.

  “You know, he’s a teacher at my school? One of my best friends? He’s been over here like ten times,” I said incredulously.

  “Oh, right, Paul.”

  I stared at him. “You don’t know who I’m talking about, do you?”

  “Of course, I do,” he scoffed. “Paul. Big guy with a beard.”

  I rolled my eyes and pulled out my wallet, grabbing the picture of us at his birthday party last year. “This is Paul.”

  Eric frowned. “You carry a picture of him in your wallet?”

  “What’s wrong with that? He’s a friend.”

  “But is he that kind of friend?”

  “What do you mean that kind of friend? We’ve known each other for years.”

  Eric glanced over my shoulder, but when I looked, everyone was staring at their cards. I sighed and took my seat at the table. “Pull up a chair, kid.”

  “Sure, grab the kid a beer,” Joe said to Josh as he stood.

  “Do not grab the kid a beer. What the hell, Joe?”

  “What? I figured if you brought him to poker night, we were still gonna have fun.”

  “We are, but you don’t offer kids beer. Dumbass.”

  Adam snorted out a laugh from beside me, covering his mouth like he had done something wrong.

  I cleared my throat. “Don’t tell your dad I said that.”

  “So, do we have to play the PG version of poker?” Andrew asked.

  “What are you talking about?
There is no PG version of poker.”

  “You know, swearing and all that crap.” I glared at him and he held his hands up. “Sorry, all that malarkey.”

  “Why don’t you just talk in your Millennial speak? Then the kid won’t understand anything you say anyway,” Eric grinned.

  “Very funny,” Andrew retorted. “Fuck is fuck, no matter which generation you are.”

  “You said fuck,” Adam grinned, his eyes wide.

  “That’s it,” I said, tossing down the cards I had just been dealt. “Your dad will never trust you with me again.”

  “That’s okay. I walked in on Mom yesterday when she was talking with one of her friends. She said that Fred made her come quicker than Dad ever does.”

  I stared at the kid in shock. “Your mom is cheating on your dad?”

  He grinned. “Nope. Fred is her vibrator.”

  Robert choked on his beer, spitting it out across the table. “You know what that is?”

  He looked at Robert strangely. “I’m a kid. I hear everything.”

  “Why did she name him Fred?” Joe asked.

  I rolled my eyes. “That’s what you’re focusing on right now?”

  “What? It’s a valid question. Who names their vibrator Fred? It’s such an old name. Besides, shouldn’t it reflect what you’re looking for? The Hulk or Joystick.”

  “And I suppose you name your toys?” I asked.

  “Of course. I have a pussy wand,” Joe said casually. “I’ve named her Stella Virgin.”

  I shook my head, praying to God that I wasn’t giving this kid way more information than he needed. But when I glanced over at him, he was grinning and already had his cards in hand. He was ready to play poker and have fun, and obviously, he knew way more than I had thought.

  “How is it that you know all this shit?” I asked Adam.

  He shrugged. “My parents talk loudly, and they pay well.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He grinned. “To keep my mouth shut. Like yesterday, when I pretended that I didn’t know who Fred was, she paid me twenty bucks to pretend like I’d never heard her say that. I’m planning on buying myself an iPhone by the end of the year.”

  “You have that much money saved?”

  He grinned. “Oh, and if you want poker night to stay a secret, you’ll have to make a donation toward my iPhone.”

  I looked at my brothers. “Do you hear this? He’s fleecing us.”

  “Not fleecing,” Adam corrected. “That would suggest that I’m asking for an obscene amount of money. I think a hundred bucks should do it.”

  “A hundred bucks? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

  He tilted his head like he was confused, but then he opened his mouth. “Well, so far, you’ve said fuck, dumbass, offered me a beer, talked about vibrators, said pussy, and you’ve talked about pussy wands. So, I’m thinking a hundred bucks is letting you off easy.”

  I turned and looked at my brother’s for guidance, but they just shrugged. Sighing, I pulled out my wallet and handed over all the money I had, which was only forty-five dollars. “Here, take every last dime I have. I’ll write you an IOU.”

  He grinned and took the money, pocketing my meager earnings. “Thank you very much for doing business.”

  “Business? Yeah, kid. You’re definitely running a business. You know, I’m just a teacher. It’s not like I make a shitload of money.”

  “You can’t make me feel bad. And if you keep up with the bad language, I’m just going to charge you more at the end of the night.”

  I sighed and slumped in my chair. “If any of you fuck this up, you’re paying. I’m out of cash.”

  * * *

  After dropping Adam off at his parents’ house, and paying him a hundred and twenty dollars, I headed over to Eric’s house to hang out. I should be at home right now, getting some more sleep after the kid woke me up at seven o’clock this morning. That normally wouldn’t be a problem, but we’d stayed up until midnight playing poker, and then the kid couldn’t fall asleep when we got home. It was probably the three cokes he drank last night. Or all the chocolate that Andrew shoved at him to try and pay him off. Either way, it all backfired on me when we got back to my place. And I had promised that I wouldn’t drop Adam off until after nine the next morning, so we hung out, eating cereal while we watched cartoons. Nobody was ever too old for cartoons.

  I pulled into the driveway just after ten and headed inside, hoping that someone had breakfast ready and waiting.

  “Yo!” I shouted when no one heard me enter.

  “Will?” Eric said from the living room.

  I headed that way, only to quickly spin around and promptly run right into the corner of the couch in my attempt to escape. I fell sideways, slamming into the porcelain elephant that Kat had right beside the couch, and we both crashed to the ground. I heard breaking and then Kat crying out. I thought it was in concern over me, but it turns out, the elephant got the honor of her cries of sadness.

  “What the hell did you do?” Kat shouted.

  “Me? Why were you fucking in the middle of the living room?” I shouted back, still not opening my eyes in case she wasn’t dressed. I wasn’t about to get my ass beaten by my brother for catching a look at his naked fiancé.

  “It’s our house,” she snapped.

  “Other people live here,” I said in way of explanation.

  “Nobody else is home,” Eric grumbled. “You can open your eyes now.”

  I peeked one eye open, just to be on the safe side. Kat was dressed, though you could hardly call it that. “Um…maybe pull your shirt down just a tad more. I can still see everything.”

  She gasped and jerked her shirt down just as Eric threw a blanket over her shoulders and wrapped it closed in the front. Then he turned his glare on me. I held my hands up, shaking my head slightly.

  “How was I to know you had it in you?”

  “Had what in me?” Eric asked.

  “The ability to fuck outside the bedroom. Sorry, but you’re kind of a stick in the mud. I wasn’t expecting to walk in on that!” I said, pointing to where they had been tangled up on the floor.

  “What we do in our house is none of your damn business. Maybe next time you’ll knock like normal people do.”

  “I’ve never had to knock before,” I argued. “It’s always been an open door policy. Although, I definitely won’t be doing that again,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “What are we going to do about Gertie?” Kat asked, staring down at her broken elephant.

  I shifted to a sitting position and looked down at the mess. “I’m sure it can be glued back together.” I heard a slight sigh come from her, and I scratched the back of my head. “Although, if you ask me, you really won out on this one. I mean, you were keeping that because it was an heirloom, right? I mean, the thing is fucking creepy, the way it always looks like it’s staring at you.” I laughed as I looked up at her, but she wasn’t laughing with me. Her glare sent shivers down my spine and had me swallowing hard. “I’m sure it can be fixed.”

  “Get up, asshole,” Eric said, holding out his hand for me.

  I grimaced and shook my head. “I’m not sure I want to touch that hand. God knows where it’s been.”

  He shrugged. “You’re probably right. What the hell are you doing over here anyway?”

  I got up and followed him into the kitchen. “I dropped Adam off this morning, and I was hoping that breakfast would be ready when I got here.”

  “Why is it that everyone assumes that my house is a cafe?”

  “Definitely not a cafe,” I snorted. “You don’t have any of those cute tables sitting out, and the service here sucks.”

  “Then go to an actual cafe for your breakfast.”

  “I would,” I said indignantly, “but the kid cleaned me out last night.”

  “So eat cereal.”

  “I did.”

  “And?”

  “I’m still hungry,” I whined. “You have no ide
a what it’s like. No woman to cook for me or keep me warm at night. It’s really a very hard life.”

  “Then find a woman.”

  “Well,” I cleared my throat and grabbed a mug from the cabinet, then poured myself a coffee. “See, the thing is, I sort of met someone.”

  “Okay,” he said slowly. “Does this person have a name?”

  “Charlie.”

  His eyes widened in surprise. “Okay,” he repeated. He cleared his throat. “You know, I’m probably not the right person to ask for advice on this.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s me. Wet blanket. I barely make my own relationship work, let alone be able to give you advice on…Charlie.”

  “I’m not asking for relationship advice. I just…how do I know when to call? I mean, I don’t want to fuck this up.”

  His eyebrows slanted and he scratched the back of his neck like he was uncomfortable. “I just…I don’t know what the protocols are for this situation. I’m not…”

  “Good with dating?”

  “Well, that too. I’ve just never…been in that situation before.”

  I narrowed my eyes, confused as to where he was going with this. “You’ve been on a date.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  I rolled my eyes. “Christ, you know, I come to you for advice and you can’t even help me out with that. You’re fucking useless. Just tell me this, how long would you wait to call?”

  “Me? An eternity.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “Charlie’s special. I don’t want to fuck this up.”

  He sighed and sat down at the table. “Look, if you really like Charlie, then don’t wait. But don’t fuck it up by… sleeping together too soon.”

  “Wow, you’re just a wealth of information this morning.”

  I stood to head for the door. I needed real advice, and I wasn’t going to find that here. And since there was no breakfast, there was no point in staying.

  “Will,” Eric called out. I turned and raised an eyebrow at him. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Tell you what?” I asked in confusion.

  “About Charlie? We would have understood.”