He was silent for a moment and then sighed. “I don’t know how to fit into this life anymore. I don’t know how to just relax and let my guard down, how to be happy not running. I had to gain all these skills just to survive and now I’m just supposed to be a mechanic.”
“It’s what you’ve always done. You said yourself that you got jobs as a mechanic when you were on the run. Why can’t you do that now?”
“Because…” He sighed, and I knew he didn’t have a reason. He was just uncomfortable and didn’t know how to adjust.
“It won’t be like this forever,” Joe said. “People will gossip for a while, but they’ll get over it. Look at Anna. She was the gossip of the town for years, having to deal with her drunk mother and then she went missing for a whole year. You think that wasn’t hard on her? But she got her life back, and you will too. And hey, if you need to get out those frustrations, I know a great way to do it.”
“What? By joining your biker gang?” Josh retorted.
“Riding is very freeing,” Joe argued. “I’m telling you, come out with me sometime. It’ll change your life.”
“So, when exactly do you get to be a full time biker?” Andrew asked.
Joe glared at him. “You guys are assholes. As a matter of fact, I just got patched in three days ago.”
My jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He snorted. “Like any of you care.”
“Maybe if we actually knew what you were involved in,” Eric started.
“Look, it’s just a bunch of guys that get together and do shit for the community. We all like to ride, but we also like to help out where we can. Decker was actually the one that got me interested in joining. He saw my potential as a tattoo artist and encouraged me to open my own shop.”
“Wait, what does the MC have to do with your tattoo shop?” Robert asked.
“The MC helps out the community. They spread the word about new businesses. They help to drum up business. They’re all about helping out others. Decker came to me with a proposal. He would teach me everything I needed to know about setting up the business and doing it right. He helped me gain clients.”
“And what does he get in return?” I asked suspiciously.
“I joined the MC. A share of my profits goes to the MC, but they use it for helping others in the community.”
“Wait, so you join the MC and then pay them so they can help other people?” Andrew asked.
“We all help each other, asshole.”
I smirked at Joe, not able to help myself. “Maybe they’ll help you figure out how to get a woman.”
He scowled at me. “At least I’ve never been kicked out of someone’s bed in the middle of the night.”
Well, he had me there.
Eric
I watched from the window as Will drove off, and then turned to my brothers. Sighing, I took my seat and broached the subject we were all spinning over.
“So…”
“Yeah,” Robert nodded, blowing out a harsh breath.
“Did you have any idea?” Josh asked.
“If we did, do you think we would be sitting here flabbergasted?” Joe asked.
“Flabbergasted?” I quirked an eyebrow at him.
Joe rolled his eyes. “I think we have more important things to focus on right now besides my language.”
“I don’t know, now you’re talking like an old lady. That seems like something to worry about.”
“Especially since you’re hanging out with bikers,” Josh piped up. “Won’t they kick you out for…decent language?”
Joe sighed. “Can we get back to the bomb that’s about to explode in our family?”
“I’m confused. How did none of you notice his…sexual preferences before?” Josh asked.
“Because the only preference he had was that it was a woman,” Robert retorted.
“Yeah, but you must have had some clue.”
“Like what?” Andrew asked. “Do you think he waved a pride flag in the air and we just chose to ignore it?”
“Well…” Josh huffed in irritation. “What about the way he dresses?”
“Like a teacher?” I said slowly.
“Yeah, but when you go out, does he ever…unbutton his shirt?”
Joe huffed out a laugh. “Is that a prerequisite for being gay? Unbuttoning his shirt?”
“Prerequisite?” I asked. “Seriously?”
Joe ignored me. “Look, there were no signs. I’m telling you, we would have seen them.”
“But why did he suddenly just come out like that?” Josh asked. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Maybe it’s because of you,” Robert suggested. “You finally came back from the dead and maybe he’s feeling like it’s time to live his life the way he wants to.”
“Right, he suddenly decided to come out of the closet because his brother isn’t dead.”
“Hey, you never know,” Robert said. “Life altering events can make people do crazy things.”
“Yeah, but the real question is, does Ma know?” I asked.
“Doubtful,” Andrew said. “If he really was gay, Ma would have picked up on it immediately.”
“Says who?” I asked.
“Well…it’s mothers who turn their sons gay, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was all those baseball games she took him to,” Joe snapped. “She was introducing him to his future husband.”
“Well, it had to be something,” I said. “We should call Derek, see if he knows anything.”
“I’m not calling Derek,” Josh said. “I just pulled him into my crap. I’m not piling on more shit.”
“Joe?”
“Hell no.”
I sighed. “Come on, it’s a simple phone call. You just ask if he’s noticed anything lately about Will. We won’t even bring up the whole gay thing.”
“Right, and that leads to more questions. Derek won’t stop at just a few simple questions. He’s like a bloodhound.”
I looked at Robert, but he just shook his head. “Andrew?”
“Accuse my brother of being gay to another brother and then sit back and watch the fallout? Hell fucking no.”
“Derek’s not judgmental. He’s not gonna think any different just because Will…likes men.”
“No, but you know he’s gonna get involved, and then Will is gonna know that we talked. I say we stay out of it.”
“Well, I can’t do that,” I sighed. “He’s my brother, and he needs our support right now.”
I pulled out my phone and dialed his number, putting it on speakerphone.
“Somebody better be dead right now.”
I cleared my throat and glanced at my brothers. “Uh…hey, man.”
“Hey, man? Alright, what’s going on?”
“What?” I laughed nervously. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m just sitting here and thought I would give you a call.”
“I’ve spoken with you more over the past six months than I have in my entire life. What the hell is going on now?”
I snorted, shaking my head because I was so damn nervous. “Nothing. There’s…it’s nothing.”
He sighed heavily. “Look, whatever it is, just spit it out. I was just about to slip into my Batman costume and have some fun with Claire.”
“What?” Josh asked. “You were gonna do what?”
“Am I on speakerphone?” Derek asked angrily.
“Uh…no?”
“Goddamnit! You’re supposed to tell people when you have them on speakerphone so they don’t say private shit to everyone in the room.”
I cleared my throat. “Uh… you’re on speakerphone.”
“I know that now, dumbass.”
“And now I know way too much about you,” Josh retorted.
“So, you have everyone there. What exactly do you want?”
“Well, not everyone is here. Will isn’t here.”
“Okay. So, what’s going on?”
I cleared my throat and then scoote
d the phone to Andrew. “Andrew has something he wants to ask you.”
“No, I don’t,” he said, shuffling the phone to Robert.
“I’m good,” he said, passing the phone to Joe.
“Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Derek practically shouted.
“Well, the thing is…see, we were wondering if…”
“Just spit it out.”
“Have you noticed anything…strange about Will lately?”
“And how the hell would I know that? I live eight hours away and you live twenty minutes from him, but you want to know if I noticed anything weird?”
“I just thought maybe he mentioned something or did something that might make you think…”
“Think what?”
“You know what? Never mind.”
“No, you don’t get to pull this shit. If something’s going on with Will, you need to fucking tell me.”
“It’s just that he’s talking about being in a relationship.”
There was silence on the other end. “Wow. I’m impressed. Not only have you managed to out my secrets, but you’ve also wasted my time with Claire on the fact that Will wants to be in a relationship.”
“It’s not just that.”
“Then what the fuck is it?”
I looked at my brothers, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Maybe Will didn’t want anyone else knowing. This was betraying his trust. “We were just worried that he was jumping in too fast, is all.”
“Look, there’s no time frame for relationships. Everyone goes at their own speed. Is this seriously what you called me about?”
“Yeah,” I said, deciding to drop it. “Sorry to bother you, man.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said uncertainly, and then hung up.
I sighed and looked at my brothers. “So, what do we do now? Do we ask him to open up to us?”
“And how would that go?” Robert asked.
“Hell, I don’t know. But if he felt comfortable enough to tell us about Charlie, we should talk to him about it. He needs to know that we don’t judge him.”
“And we need to think about how the town will react to this,” Joe pointed out.
“Who gives a fuck about the town?” Robert said. “They can all go fuck themselves.”
“I’m just saying, do you know anyone in town that’s gay?” None of us answered. “It’s gonna be big, and you know people are gonna say shit.”
“No posting on Facebook,” I said immediately.
“I’m not suggesting that. But we should talk to Will about this. When it finally comes out, he’s gonna have a lot to deal with. And think about his job. Can gay people be teachers?”
Robert rolled his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “No, Joe. They’ve banished gay people to a foreign land.”
“No need to be so salty. I was just wondering,” he muttered.
“And he’s back,” I grinned.
Charlie
Nathan and I took Oliver to the pond again the following weekend. I was freezing my ass off, but I was desperately hoping to run into Will again. It wasn’t very likely. After all, he hadn’t had his kid with him the last time we saw him. So, I sat all bundled up on the bench, clutching a cup of coffee in my hands and watched as my kid played with friends.
“So, still no word from the baseball player,” Nathan sighed.
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. We didn’t want the same things.”
“Right. That’s why sex is still off the table between us.”
“Did you want it to be back on?”
“Usually, when one of us stops seeing someone, it’s back on immediately. You haven’t seen this guy in over a week and a half. So, why are you going home alone when you have me on the side?”
“I don’t know. Holding out hope that he’ll change his mind?”
“What’s this about anyway? All you told me was that it didn’t work out.”
“He wanted something I couldn’t offer.”
“Like a relationship?”
“No.”
“Cuddling?”
“No,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Did he tell you he loved you?”
I snorted. “Of course not.”
“Then what exactly happened?”
I sighed, almost ashamed of telling him. But why should I be? If anyone understood, it would be him. “He came over after our date and we had sex. Everything was fine. I took a shower, and I was ready to go to bed, but he was still there.”
“Ah, so you expected him to leave.”
“Yes, and I told him that I needed my sleep and I had to be up early, but he got all pissed at me. And when I called him to hang out again, he said he could handle the friends with benefits, but didn’t want to be kicked out in the middle of the night.”
“Well, it is February, and it’s fucking cold outside.”
“I know, but still…you remember how it was when you were in a relationship. You have to be at work early, and they don’t want to leave that early. And then it turns into this big argument. I don’t want to deal with that.”
“Right, I get it.”
“But?” I knew it was coming.
“Look, if you like the guy, you’re gonna have to work around it. Maybe you should go to his place instead. Then you can get your sleep and not worry about hurting his feelings.”
“But I like my place.”
“Charlie, either you want to fuck in his place or you want to go home alone. You can’t have it both ways with this guy. So, which is it?”
I hated it when Nathan was right. “So, I’m not allowed to have anything my way. I’m just supposed to give in to whatever he wants and do things his way.”
“I don’t think having sex at his place is the same thing as giving him whatever he wants.”
“No, but you know where it leads. Soon, he’ll ask me to just stay the night. And then we’ll be spending even more time together-“
He gasped. “You mean, getting to know each other?”
I shoved him on the shoulder. “You know what I mean. He’s going to try and turn this into a relationship, and you and I both know that’s not good for me.”
“Right, because relationships kill everything.”
“Hey, it’s not like you’re Mr. Monogamy.”
“I’m not saying I am. But if the right woman came along, I would be tempted.”
“Really? I always thought we were on the same page.”
“We are. I like sex and so do you. We’re compatible sexually, but we both know that we could never have a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t consider it with someone else.”
“Why, though? Don’t you see how ridiculous this is? Women and men are so different! Seriously, I’m pretty sure God-“
“Never intended for a man and a woman to live together for the rest of their lives. Yes, I’ve heard this many times before from you.”
“Because it’s true! You know why so many women are gay? It’s not because of sexual preference. It’s because women can only stand to be around other women. We’re alike and so it works.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s not accurate.”
“Maybe not, but I would totally go for a woman if it meant that I never had to deal with a man again.”
“Then why don’t you?”
“Because I like cock too much. But living with a woman, we would have the same disgust for piss around the toilet seat. And we would both do our own laundry and there wouldn’t be skid marks in our underwear. And the bathroom wouldn’t always smell. And what is with that disgusting ring in the toilet that only appears when a man uses the bathroom?”
“Geez, you make us sound terrible.”
“Because men are disgusting. I’m sorry to say this, but they are. And as a man, you should be aware of this.”
“Well, at least I’ll know what to watch out for if I ever find a woman.”
I drank my coffee and allowed myself a minu
te to cool down. “I have to deal with it, don’t I?”
“If you want to see him again, yeah. Bite the bullet, babe. Stay at his place and see if you really like him.”
“And if I do?”
“Then you’re going to have to let him stay the night.”
“This sucks,” I grumbled.
“Yeah, just wait until you fall in love.”
* * *
Three days later, I had finally decided to just pick up the damn phone and call him. I could do this. I could have sex at his place and leave. And if he asked me why, I would just explain the situation. If he couldn’t accept that, I wasn’t sure there was any hope for us.
Taking a deep breath, I dialed. “Hello?”
“Will, it’s Charlie.” I was met with silence. “Uh…Charlie from the hospital.”
“Yeah, I know who you are. I’m just surprised as hell that you’re calling.”
“Why?”
“Well, usually when someone doesn’t want to do the whole sleeping together thing, they don’t keep calling. And I’m talking about you.”
“Okay, I know it sounds strange, but it’s just the way I am.”
“I see that.”
“But, I think I have a solution for you.”
“I would love to hear this.”
“What if we go to your place? And then when I’m ready to go to sleep, I’ll just head home.”
“So, you’re still not staying the night.”
“Right, but I wouldn’t be kicking you out,” I grinned, hoping that would win me points.
“I’ll pass.”
“What?” I asked in shock. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll pass, as in, I’m not interested.”
“Why not? You said you could do one night stands. What’s so wrong with this?”
He sighed into the phone. “Look, Charlie, I really like you, but this is just too complicated. There are only certain things you’re willing to deal with, and I like to keep things casual too, but now I just feel like a hooker.”
“Hookers are usually women,” I pointed out.
“Fine, a male escort.”
“Look, it’s just…I was married. I told you that. And when I had to get ready for work, I always had to contend with my husband not getting up to be with Oliver when I needed him to. It was a giant pain in the ass. Or he would want me to come back to bed and snuggle. It was always something. I’m just trying to keep things as simple as possible so I don’t get into those situations again. I don’t like being nasty, and if you started sleeping in or asking me to stay, I’d turn into a giant bitch about the whole thing.”
Textbook Approach: A Small Town Romance Page 8