Textbook Approach: A Small Town Romance

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  He nodded and took a deep breath. “That sounds like a plan. I mean, not a good plan, but it’s a plan.”

  We stepped inside and Charlie already had a beer in hand and was laughing with my Ma. It seemed introductions weren’t necessary.

  “So, then I heard this loud roar and the next thing I know, Will is tackling Joe through the glass door. There was glass everywhere and the funny thing was, everyone seemed to think it was totally normal.”

  Ma laughed, throwing back her head. My dad just sat there with a bored expression. “That’s because my boys have been wreaking havoc around town since they were just in diapers. When Will was fifteen years old, he was caught trying to have sex with my best friend’s daughter!”

  Charlie gasped and turned to me, shock on her face.

  I held up both hands. “I didn’t know what I was doing! I read about it in a magazine and Derek was always talking about the math teacher-“

  “The math teacher?” Charlie laughed. “Oh my gosh. Please tell me she was fired.”

  “Of course she was,” Ma huffed. “Teenager or not, that boy shouldn’t have been able to seduce her.”

  “Hey, at least I never slept with twins and didn’t realize it,” I snapped without any heat.

  “Who did that?” Charlie asked with big eyes.

  “Who else? Derek. He’s the trouble-maker in the family.”

  “Really?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “I would think that would be you. Don’t baseball players usually attract all the women?”

  I snorted. “I was too busy focusing on my career to worry about women.”

  Robert burst out laughing, along with everyone else in the room.

  “What? It’s the truth.”

  “What about Bunny What’s-her-name?” Eric asked.

  I rolled my eyes, “Bunny Harrington. God, she was awful.”

  “Then why did you keep seeing her?” Eric asked.

  “It wasn’t like I had a choice. Her father was best friends with the Cubs’ GM. If I had rejected her, I would have lost my shot at playing for the team.”

  “Thank God you lost that all on your own,” Andrew huffed. “Can you imagine being married to that woman? If she broke a nail, it was like the world ended.”

  “And the drinks,” Joe shook his head. “Every single drink she ordered had to have a sexual innuendo attached.”

  “And she insisted that her daddy pick up the tab for everything,” Dad grunted. “Damn irritating, if you ask me.”

  “And I’m guessing it didn’t last?” Charlie laughed.

  “No,” I shook my head. “I blew out my arm and she dropped me like a sack of potatoes.”

  “Then she missed out on something great,” she said, her eyes smiling at me. Something changed in the air. I knew she was just playing along, wanting everyone to think there was something more going on, but it changed everything to me. I just wanted to get her out of here, rip her clothes off, and have my way with her. I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the thoughts in my head. Taking her upstairs and fucking her with my Ma down below was not the way to handle this.

  “So, Eric tells me that you don’t want to get married,” Ma said, being her intrusive self.

  “Ma,” I warned.

  “No, it’s okay. I’ve been married before. I just don’t have any desire to do it again.”

  “Amen to that,” Ma laughed.

  I stared at her in shock, but Dad just grunted. “Wait, you wouldn’t want to get married again?” I asked Ma.

  “Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how long it took to train this one?” she jerked her thumb at my dad.

  “And do you have any idea how long it took for me to try and read between the millions of lines of text she was constantly throwing at me? No, the only reason I would marry again is so someone could cook for me.”

  “Dad!” Eric admonished, but Ma waved him off.

  “It’s the truth, and when you get to our age, the only thing left between a couple is absolute truth. We’ve had a good marriage, lots of great times, but there’s lots of bickering and misunderstandings along the way. By the time the kids are all grown up and have left the house, you’re just happy that everyone survived.”

  I was a little thrown. All this time, I thought Ma and Dad were perfectly happy together, that they had the perfect marriage. But now to find out that things weren’t always coming up roses…it made me question if Charlie would ever give me a real chance. She had already been through this once. She already knew that she didn’t want a second marriage, and I stupidly thought I could persuade her otherwise. But now, as I stared at my parents, I realized that it was a silly notion.

  * * *

  I was quiet on the drive home. I didn’t know what to say to her. It was like all the joy of the day was sucked out of the room the moment Ma made that declaration about not getting married again. Now, I was driving Charlie home and I could tell that she knew something was off. I just didn’t know what to say or do about it. Did I come clean? Tell her I felt cheated? She already had her chance with someone and she didn’t want another chance. What if I was meant to be with Charlie and she still wouldn’t give me a chance? Was that it? I just didn’t get marriage and kids because she’d already done all that?

  Charlie was perfect in my eyes. She was a woman that got along with my family and fit right in without even trying. She hassled my brothers, not giving a shit what they thought, and she wasn’t nervous around my parents. She was hot, which was always a bonus. I enjoyed talking with her and felt like I could actually have an intelligent conversation with her. She wasn’t like the usual idiots I dated that couldn’t string two thoughts together. I guess that said more about me than them. My choices in the past few years hadn’t exactly been stellar, but I hadn’t been looking for anything serious. Literally, any woman would do. But the moment I met Charlie, that all changed. Everything with her was perfect, except for the fact that she didn’t actually want a relationship with me.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” she asked from the other side of the truck.

  I shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to say right now. So, I grinned at her and pretended that everything was fine. “So, now that you know what a horn dog I was, does that change your opinion of me?”

  “Are you kidding? You think I would judge you for something that happened when you were fifteen? Or even something that happened before I met you? Sorry, I’m not that shallow. You’ve lived your life and I’ve lived mine.”

  See? Fucking perfect.

  “Yeah, well, don’t be surprised when Ma calls you up weekly to ask about our ‘relationship’ and when you’re setting the date. I told you not to give her your number.”

  “Your mother’s harmless. And your dad,” she laughed. “He’s hysterical.”

  I glanced over at her, sure we were talking about someone else. “My dad is hysterical? He barely spoke two words.”

  “Well, yeah, but it’s that whole gruff undertone he has going on. Come on, you know he thought the whole thing was ridiculous, but he kept his mouth shut for your mother. It was sweet, but then he would mutter under his breath and it just made me laugh.”

  I shook my head in amazement. I had never considered my old man to be hysterical, but I guess if she saw him that way, it was pretty cool. “Well, I appreciate you playing along with everything. I would say hopefully it will keep Ma off my back, but I’m guessing I haven’t heard the end of this.”

  I pulled up in front of her apartment and put the truck in place. “Thanks for today,” she grinned. “It was…surprisingly fun.”

  “Well, that’s what I’m here for,” I said with a smile. “Fun.”

  Her smile faltered and I felt a little bad for making it sound so shitty, but I couldn’t stare at this woman, spend the whole day with her, and not want more. If anything, my attraction to her only grew throughout the day. And now I was dropping her off as if we were just friends that would see each other in another day or two.

>   She gave me a winning smile and got out, leaving me all alone in my truck with my sad, pathetic desire for her. When she was inside, I slammed my hand down on the steering wheel and pulled away. I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t explain it, but she was the one. At least, I was like seventy-five percent sure that she was the one. So, I called Nathan. I wasn’t ready to give up yet.

  Charlie

  I had the strangest feeling over the past few weeks that I was being followed. It was weird, I would get this almost sixth sense, but when I turned around, no one was there. Well, obviously, people were there, but nothing looked out of the ordinary. It had happened to me at the grocery store, and then again outside the bank. I felt like I was about to be part of a robbery, but was saved by my ragged appearance after a hard day of surgery. Maybe I scared off the robbers or they took one look at me and thought I was poor. Either way, it freaked me out just a little. I started carrying around a pocket knife with me. It wasn’t the best choice of weapons, but when you felt like you were being hunted, something was better than nothing.

  When I left work that night, I really didn’t want to be alone. I had this crazy idea that if I went home alone, it would be the last time I would ever be seen. Call me crazy, tell me I’d seen one too many movies, but there was no way I was going home alone. And Oliver was with his dad until tomorrow. Not like I could use him to defend me anyway. I was pretty sure that would be considered child abuse.

  I pulled out my phone, hoping Nathan could come over and hang out for a little bit, but when he answered, I could hear a woman in the background.

  “Sorry, what’s that?” he asked, almost shouting.

  “Are you busy?”

  “Um…I have a very sexy lady…holy shit,” I heard him gasp. “Uh…now’s not really a good time.”

  “Are you having sex?”

  “Trying to.”

  I smiled devilishly, deciding to draw this out a little longer. “Trying?”

  “Well, you’re on the phone and…oh, fuck, baby, that’s amazing.”

  “What’s she doing?” I asked curiously.

  “Seriously? You want to talk about this now?”

  “Well, I don’t want to go in my apartment. I’m pretty sure someone’s waiting in there to kill me.”

  “Uh-huh. Yeah, that’s good,” he groaned.

  “Are you listening to me? I’m telling you that I’m about to be murdered and you’re too busy getting a blow job?”

  “Well, you dumped me for the baseball guy,” he panted. “Fuck.”

  I sighed. “Well, I guess if I don’t show up to work tomorrow, you’ll just have to come looking for my dead body. Just…do me a favor and come check on me before you call the police.”

  “Sure, whatever you want.”

  “You know, just to make sure that if I was raped first, I’m not naked for everyone to see.”

  “Right, check on you first,” he said distractedly. “I can do that.”

  “You know, because the next time you see me, they’ll be drawing with chalk around my body in one of those really bad poses that makes me look like I weigh three hundred pounds.”

  “Uh-huh. Chalk. Don’t want that.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m happy you’re so concerned about me, by the way.”

  “You’ll be fine. Go for the carotid or the…or the…f-f-femoral,” he spluttered out.

  “So, this has been fun, but I really don’t want to hear you-“

  “Fuck, Bethany!” he shouted.

  “Come,” I finished with a grimace.

  “Who the fuck is Bethany?” the voice screeched.

  “Uh….”

  “I’m just gonna hang up now,” I said, pretending that I hadn’t just heard any of that. I sat in my car, wondering what I should do now. I thought about calling Will, but was that really a good idea? Despite our fun day together last week, when he dropped me off, things were weird. I got the distinct impression that I had made things worse for us, which was weird considering there was no us. I had made my position clear and he hadn’t agreed. So, things were over. Still, the idea of going inside my apartment right now was too much to deal with, so I pulled out my phone and called him.

  “Charlie,” he said, almost glumly.

  “Um…hey.”

  He paused, waiting for me to say more.

  “So, um, you know that weird feeling you get when you’re about to be murdered and if you go into your apartment, the people who find you next are going to have cameras and chalk, and then your body ends up as one of those weird chalk outlines of a crime scene on Facebook?”

  He cleared his throat and I could practically see the confusion on his face. “Um…I can’t say I know that feeling. Is there some reason in particular that you’re feeling like you’re about to be murdered?”

  “Well, I just feel like someone’s been following me around lately. It’s weird, because every time I look, there’s no one there. But now I’m supposed to go upstairs to my apartment and I have a feeling that I won’t be seeing anyone after that,” I explained calmly.

  “You know, for someone that’s about to be murdered, you’re awfully calm.”

  “Well, you know, I know where to attack, I just don’t know if I’m fast enough.”

  “Okay, so you want me to give you some pointers?”

  I shook my head, confused by his lack of understanding that I was about to be murdered. “I’m not sure you understand…There’s someone in my apartment, waiting to murder me, and you’re going to hand out pointers?”

  “Well, you don’t actually know that someone’s in your apartment,” he pointed out.

  “Well, no, but I’m also not stupid enough to go find out either.”

  “Okay, so what can I do for you?”

  “Well, I was sort of hoping since you’re all buff and used to play baseball-“

  “Wait, what does me playing baseball have to do with anything?”

  “Well, you know how to swing a bat. I thought that part was obvious.”

  “Okay,” he said slowly. “Continue.”

  “So, anyway, I thought you could come over with your bat and you know…take care of him.”

  “How do you know it’s a him?”

  “Well…do you know many women murderers?”

  “Actually, I do, but there were extenuating circumstances.”

  “Are you going to come over here or am I going to have to keep this up?”

  He sighed and I could tell he really didn’t want to come over. “Look, I’m sure that no one is in there. It’s probably just your imagination.”

  “So, that’s it? You’re just going to send me inside and hope that I don’t die?”

  “Have you ever walked in on someone in your apartment before?” he asked.

  “You know what? That’s fine, but when your mother calls me, she’ll be hearing about this.”

  He groaned on the other end and I could hear him moving around. “Just stay there. I’ll be over in a minute.”

  I grinned to myself and hung up, glancing around the parking lot for anything suspicious. And then I started thinking about the fact that the two men in my life, well, the two men that I talked to at the moment, were both too busy to come over here for me. Was that my fault? Were they hesitant because of how I treated them? Was this payback for not wanting a relationship?

  Before I could think about it too much, Will pulled into the parking lot and pulled up beside me, giving me a small wave before getting out of his truck. The dim lights from the street lamps were just barely bright enough for me to see his face. He was rugged and unshaven, and he looked so fucking hot. He walked around to my side and pulled open my door, leaning down to look at me.

  “So, are you going to sit out here while I go in, or do you want to check it out with me?”

  “Well, if you go in and chase the perp out, then he’ll see me and kill me while you’re inside.”

  “The perp.”

  “Yep, but if I go in with you and you don’t
kill him right away, then he’ll kill me inside, along with you.”

  “You’ve really thought this through.”

  I nodded. “Did you bring your bat?”

  “No, I think I’ve got this.”

  I thought about that, and then remembered that he did shove his brother through a glass door, so the chances of him not fighting back were slim. And besides, it was better to be by his side than out here on my own.

  “Alright, I’ll go in with you.”

  He nodded and held out his hand for me to take. I placed mine in his warm hand and shivered at the contact. After shutting my door and locking the car, we headed inside and he held out his hand.

  “What?”

  “Keys?”

  “Shouldn’t I open the door?” I asked in confusion.

  “Then you would be standing right in front of the door when I open it, and you would be attacked first.”

  “Yes, but if you have the keys, you’ll be distracted by opening the door instead of focusing on the perp inside.”

  “You really like saying perp, don’t you?”

  “You know, he probably knows we’re out here now because you’re being so loud.”

  “Right, he knows we’re out here because of how loud we’re being, not because he’s been lying in wait for you. He’s probably been watching your every move for weeks now. He knows your schedule and he’s been watching for you out the window, which is how he already knows that you’re here and I’m with you. And when one of us opens that door, he’ll be ready for us. And we won’t be ready, because we’re too busy arguing about the fake intruder inside.”

  “He’s not fake,” I said indignantly.

  He sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. “Can I just have the keys?”

  I slammed them down in his hand with a glare. He unlocked the door and walked right in, as if there was no intruder waiting for us.