Textbook Approach: A Small Town Romance

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

“Wait, what’s the challenge?” Charlie asked.

  “Oh, it’s this thing that they do. Each month they pick a challenge for each other, something to bring each other out of their comfort zones.”

  “Yeah, except I always end up getting something pierced or tattooed,” Eric grumbled.

  “Hey, it’s not my fault that you’re not creative.”

  “I think you should have him go on a roller coaster next month,” Joe grinned. “I’d love to see his face when you go down that first drop.”

  “No, I draw the line at roller coasters.”

  “But you’ll jump off a bridge?” I grinned.

  “You want me to be strapped into something that could make me plunge to my death at high speeds?”

  “Again, how is that different from today?”

  He took a deep breath, squeezing his hands closed tightly as he tried to gain his composure.

  “Let’s not scare him before the wedding even starts,” Kat laughed.

  Moments later, the guide started walking us out to the bridge and we walked across it like an aisle in a church. It was weird, but who was I to judge. Eric and Kat took their places on the ledge and I could tell Eric was doing his best not to look down.

  “Ladies and gentleman, we are gathered here today-“

  “Oh shit,” Chrissy groaned, squeezing her eyes closed.

  “Is everything okay?” Kat asked worriedly.

  “Sure,” she said, though it was clear she was not okay. “Keep going.”

  The minister nodded and started again. “We are gathered here today, in the presence of God, to-“

  “Holy fucking shit!” Chrissy groaned, bending forward as water gushed down her legs.

  “I beg your pardon,” the minister said, quite shocked by the whole thing. Charlie nudged me and gave me a knowing look.

  “What? I didn’t make this happen.”

  “You jinxed it,” she hissed. “Just like I said you would.”

  “Oh, like I can time the birth of a woman that I don’t even know!”

  “You said it in the car. You know what you did!”

  “Holy fuck, um…I don’t think this is good!” She turned to the minister and did the whole cross on the forehead, chest, and shoulders. “Sorry, Father.”

  “I’m not Catholic, dear.”

  “What the fuck ever,” she screamed as she started to panic. Charlie ran over to her and helped her to the ground so she could check on her.

  “It’s okay, Chrissy. I’m sure everything is going to be fine. The hike out here was probably just too much.”

  Joe and Andrew walked up next to me, just in time to see Charlie flip up Chrissy’s dress.

  “Holy shit!” Joe said, turning away. I did the same, but Andrew kept watching with rapt attention. I smacked him, motioning for him to turn around.

  “What? This is natural,” he shrugged.

  “And she doesn’t need you staring at her vagina, asshole!”

  “Boys!” Ma scolded.

  “Wait, is this really happening?” Eric asked. “Right in the middle of our wedding?”

  “Would you like me to tell her to hold it?” Kat snapped.

  He rolled his eyes and sighed. “It’s just…that’s two weddings ruined.”

  Kat glared at him. “Do you think you could be a little more sensitive?”

  “Me? She’s the one that’s having a baby at our wedding!”

  Kat shoved his leg and he tripped. His arms spun as he careened over the edge of the bridge. His eyes met mine in a moment of panic, but I was too far away to do anything. Kat grasped for him, but his pants slid right through her fingers.

  I took a step forward, but it was too late. He was sailing over the edge, screaming the whole way down. I watched as the cord caught him and he bounced back up in the air, still screaming like a little girl.

  “Oops,” Kat winced as she watched her fiancé bounce in the air.

  Andrew walked over and looked over the edge with me.

  “Well, looks like Kat got her wish. Eric did it alone.”

  Charlie

  After the disaster of a wedding, things returned to normal once again. Will’s parents went home since there were no plans for a rematch any time soon. I was busy at work and spending a lot of my free time with Will. I hadn’t actually moved in with him yet, which he reminded me of on a daily basis. I didn’t mind moving in with him, I was just concerned about moving into his house. It would never be our house. He bought it and paid the mortgage, and I would just be living with him. What happened if we broke up? When my marriage to Kyle ended, he got the house and I had to find an apartment. It wasn’t that I thought that we wouldn’t make it, but things happened. I just wanted to be prepared.

  “Hey, stranger,” Nathan grinned as he walked into the locker room. “I barely see you anymore now that the baseball player takes up all your time.”

  “It’s not that bad.”

  “The last time we actually spent any time together was three weeks ago. Now I speak to my therapist more than I speak to you.”

  “Since when do you have a therapist?” He never mentioned needing a therapist before.

  “My physio-therapist. She’s technically more of a masseuse.” He squinted as he thought a moment. “And she gives really good head.”

  “So, not so much a therapist as a fuck buddy.”

  “If you want to see it that way. I go to her when I’m stressed out. And she really does give me massages. They just always turn dirty.”

  “I would expect nothing less from you,” I grinned.

  “Speaking of the baseball player, I’m still waiting on those tickets. You know, it took a lot of work to get the two of you together.”

  “Well, school will be out soon enough and you can have him as often as you want.”

  “Thank God, I was beginning to feel used.”

  “Aww, you know only I do that.”

  “Not recently,” he snorted. “You know, I really don’t like this whole being single thing. It was nice when I could just call you up or head over to your place.”

  “I thought you had the masseuse?”

  “Therapist,” he corrected. “And she’s good, but she’s definitely not you.” He let out a big sigh and shook his head. “I guess I just have to keep looking. There’s gotta be someone out there as good in bed as you.”

  “Or better.” I hoped that would cheer him up.

  “Doubtful,” he said sadly. “Still, I just have to actually get out and start looking. I don’t suppose the baseball player knows anyone that’s single.”

  “I’ll ask him for you.” I bumped his shoulder, knowing he wasn’t really upset, just putting on a good show.

  “Thanks,” he muttered, trying to look as pitiful as possible.

  “I suppose I could get Will to take you to a game. Maybe that would cheer you up?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. I guess it’s worth a try.”

  I bit back my smile and wrapped my arm around him in a hug.

  “So, when’s the big move-in date?”

  “Oh, well, I haven’t actually set one yet.”

  “Why not? I thought you were over the whole terrified of the little things.”

  “I am. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

  He raised an eyebrow at me. No way did he believe me. He knew me too well. I should have known that he would never buy my line of bullshit.

  “It’s just that it’s his house, his furniture, his everything.”

  “Have you told him this?”

  I slid my shoe across the floor, erasing a scuff mark that had been left behind. I heard his deep sigh. Yeah, I was an idiot.

  “You know, there’s one key ingredient for making a relationship work.”

  “Yeah? And you’ve tried this out before?”

  “Well, no, but I’ve heard about it.”

  “Then by all means, impart your wisdom on me.”

  “Okay, are you ready for this? Because it’s big. A lot of
people miss this.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “Just say it.”

  “Okay, here we go. You have to actually talk to him.”

  “Oh,” I said as if that had never occurred to me. “Wow, thank you Dr. Freud for letting me in on that well-hid secret.”

  He shrugged playfully. “Well, you know, I save people where I can.”

  “Maybe stick to the operating room.”

  All humor left his face and he grabbed my hand, giving me a squeeze. “Seriously, don’t fuck this up. You have something good with Will. If you don’t talk to him, you know this is gonna go south.”

  I huffed out a sigh, knowing he was right. I was my own worst enemy. I would have to do it soon or this was going to become a problem.

  * * *

  “I wish Oliver could have come with us tonight,” Will said as we got out at his brother’s house. “I would love for him to meet my brothers.”

  “Well, it’s his dad’s night. Things are better between us, but I can’t just demand that he come with us. Besides, he’ll meet them some other time.”

  Will sighed beside me. “I know. Come on, they’re all waiting for us.”

  We got out and headed inside. With the weather so nice and warm now, they had a few windows cracked and the fresh breeze was filtering through the house. Not to mention, it smelled like apple pie in the house. I found my way over to where Kat stood in the kitchen, slicing into a fresh pie.

  “Oh my gosh, that smells fantastic.”

  She grinned, expertly placing the pie on the plate. If I did that, it would be a mess, with all the apples falling all over the place. “It took me a lot of time to come up with the perfect apple pie recipe.”

  “Pies are not my thing,” I admitted.

  “Well, cookies aren’t my thing. Don’t tell Eric this, but every time I make cookies, they end up as flat as a pancake and burnt. I always get a secret batch now from Mary Anne and then put all the baking sheets on the counter and clean out the mixing bowls, like they’ve just been washed. He hasn’t caught on yet.”

  “Well, Will is going to be sorely disappointed if he thinks that I’m going to be some master chef. There are a few meals that I can make really well, but mostly, I just suck in the kitchen.”

  “Ooh, is that pie?” Andrew asked, walking into the kitchen. He reached for a plate and Kat slapped his hand away. “Hey,” he groused. “I shared my pizza with you.”

  “That was like a year ago. How long are you going to use that as an excuse?”

  “I guess you don’t understand what sharing a pizza means to a man. And I don’t have a woman at home to cook for me. You have no idea what that’s like.”

  “Oh, you poor man,” Kat pouted. “Living with Joe has been really hard on you, hasn’t it?”

  “You have no idea. He won’t do my laundry and he doesn’t cook me breakfast.”

  I watched the exchange with rapt attention. These two were something of an anomaly. Though, it seemed that Kat was close with all the brothers. I wondered if it would ever be like that for me.

  “Well, I have an idea for you.”

  Andrew’s face lit up. “You want me to move back home so you can cook for me and do my laundry?”

  “No, I was going to suggest you hire a maid service.” She grinned and handed him a plate of pie. “Enjoy.”

  He grimaced down at the plate, obviously disappointed that she hadn’t invited him to stay. “You just took all the joy out of this pie.”

  “Just imagine Eric eating it off her. That’ll really make you want to eat pie,” I grinned.

  His face morphed into disgust and he tossed the plate down on the counter. “Dammit! I can’t eat that now!”

  He stalked off, irritated and probably missing his pie. He bumped shoulders with Will as he ran out of the room. I laughed with Kat, enjoying the easy banter I had with her.

  “So, next Saturday?” Eric asked.

  “What’s next Saturday?” Kat asked, handing me a plate of pie.

  “We’re gonna help Charlie move.”

  I had just taken my first bite, but it immediately turned to dust in my mouth. I worked to chew the food, but I was panicking a little. “Um…what’s this?” I asked, setting down my plate.

  Will turned to me with a grin. “Well, it’s been two months since we discussed moving in together. It’s time to get this taken care of, don’t you think?”

  I glanced at Eric and then back to Will with a nervous laugh. “I thought we were going to discuss this some more.”

  “What’s to discuss? You said you wanted Oliver to be comfortable in my home. To me, that’s a pretty clear sign that you’re ready for this. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think you were ready.”

  “Yeah, but…maybe the whole moving thing is something you and I should have discussed in private.”

  I started sweating and my heart rate kicked up. I felt like I was being bowled over. He was just moving forward, making these plans without me. I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him about getting our own house yet. Suddenly, it felt like everything was spinning out of control. And if he was willing to make these decisions without consulting me, what else would he decide on my behalf?

  “Charlie?” My gaze snapped to Will’s and I shook my head slightly, trying to snap out of this haze I was in. “I thought this was the plan.”

  “It was. I mean, it is, but we haven’t really discussed details yet.”

  “What kind of details?”

  “Like…how do we split the bills? Who mows the lawn? Where does Oliver stay when he comes over? What happens to the lease on my apartment? Where do I go if you don’t like living with me? What if I don’t like living with you?”

  He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I see. So, we’re back to second-guessing everything. It was fine to say you wanted to move in together when you thought you were going to lose me, but now that you have me again, you can hit the brakes and we can go back to the way things were before.”

  I frowned, ignoring the way Eric ducked his head and Kat pretended to busy herself at the sink. “Things haven’t been like before. I’ve been staying with you most of the time. I don’t sneak out in the middle of the night, and I am committed to this relationship. But it’s not like we’re engaged. We’re talking about moving in together, in your house. If something goes wrong, I’m out on my ass, just like I was with my ex.”

  He huffed out a laugh, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re still not sure about us,” he said with disbelief etched in his voice.

  “Of course, I’m not. Can anyone ever be sure of anything? Life doesn’t work like that. I could move in with you and find out that-“

  “What? That my socks smell really bad and you can’t handle that? Heads up, I don’t always put the dishes in the dishwasher right away, and sometimes, I even leave the plate on the table just because I don’t feel like putting in the extra effort to put it away,” he whispered conspiratorially. “Are you gonna leave me too because I don’t fall into your perfect categories?”

  Embarrassment flooded my cheeks, not just because we were having this discussion in front of his brother and Kat, but because he was taking all my concerns and insecurities and throwing them in my face like they meant nothing.

  “You know, I think there was a leaky pipe upstairs that I forgot about,” Kat said, pushing past me.

  “You didn’t tell me about a leaky pipe,” Eric said in confusion.

  “Yes, I did. Remember?” I watched her eyes narrow in on him.

  He shook his head slowly. “I’m pretty sure I would have remembered- Ow!” He groaned, rubbing his side after she punched him in the stomach. “What the hell did you hit me for?”

  “So, we can give them some privacy, you idiot.”

  “Then why didn’t you just say that? Like they don’t know by now what you were trying to do.”

  “Well, it would have been a subtle exit if you weren’t so daft,” she shot back.

  “It’s o
kay,” I interrupted. “You can stay. Obviously, Will has no problem spilling all my insecurities with everyone.” I turned to Will and stared him down. “I’m sorry that I’m not as sure as you. But I’ve been through this before. I know that it can be damaging to everyone involved. I’m trying to look at this logically. It would be different if the house wasn’t only yours. I wanted to talk to you about maybe looking at our own houses, but-“

  “You had two months for that and you never brought it up,” he said angrily. “This is just another excuse for you to leave.”

  “I never said I was leaving. I’m trying to be responsible here. I have a son to think of.”

  “You have me to think of,” he shouted. “Yeah, I get that Oliver is a consideration, but this relationship is between the two of us, and you seem to keep leaving me out of it. Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? Always wondering if you have one foot out the door? Because I’m not really interested in living my life on the edge of it falling apart.”

  “I’m trying to talk to you, preferably without you making decisions about my life without me involved. You never asked me if you could move me out next Saturday. You didn’t come to me with your concerns.”

  “Yeah, well, neither did you,” he shot back.

  I shook my head. “This is what I was talking about. This was why I didn’t want to get involved. There’s always shit like this that causes problems. I thought we were past this. I thought you understood my issues and wanted to work through them with me, but instead, you’re just shoving them aside and pretending they don’t matter now. I told you this was how it happened. Everything’s fine until you move in together and then everything changes! Why couldn’t you just listen to me?”

  “Why do you have to be such a pain in the ass? Why should I have to walk on eggshells around you because you’re too fucking scared to just be in a relationship with me? Do you think I want to constantly worry about the dishes or roll away from you in the morning before I’m ready to just so that you won’t get pissed at me and push me away? Do you think I want to live my life constantly worrying that you’re going to freak out over something I do? I can’t live like that! I need to know that you take me as I am, and not try and change everything about me to fit into the mold you want! Why can’t you give me that? Why do you have to be so fucking selfish?” he shouted.