Searching for Home

by Megan Linden

  It felt as if it were a foregone conclusion.

  And maybe it was. After all, Patrick had hoped for something to happen while they were here. He hadn’t invited Ollie along just to show him the lake. He had pictured this—or close to it—because he definitely hadn’t pictured it like Ollie seemingly trying to crawl into him and Patrick letting him, inviting him, pulling him closer.

  Maybe they’d been moving toward this ever since Ollie had accepted his invitation, or maybe since they’d made up after their initial awkward period, or maybe even from the first time Patrick had spotted him in Harrington Hills.Whenever it had been, it had landed them right here and Patrick was glad for it.

  “Fuck,” he muttered when he pulled back to catch his breath and explore. He brushed his lips down Ollie’s neck, tasting water and licking it off, wanting to get deeper, wanting to breathe him in. He knew Ollie’s scent already from all the time they’d spent together, but here, now, he had a chance he hadn’t gotten since Linwood—to chase the taste as well as the scent.

  He sucked at the skin right above Ollie’s collarbone, adding teeth only just so. Ollie inhaled sharply and tightened his grip on the back of his head, slipping toward Patrick’s nape. Patrick licked at the mark he left on Ollie’s skin then went back to where Ollie was guiding him—back toward his mouth. They kissed and kissed, and Patrick’s mind was empty of anything that wasn’t Ollie and more, and fuck, yes, this.

  “You wanna—?” he asked when they parted for breath again.

  “No, here’s good,” Ollie whispered, moving closer until they were pressed together and tilting his head up to catch Patrick’s lips in another kiss—a brief one this time—before moving to leave a line of kisses along Patrick’s jaw. When Ollie licked the shell of his ear, Patrick caught him by the hips and pushed their erections together, needing more contact. He considered tugging their trunks off, but then Ollie pulled himself up, wrapping his legs around Patrick’s hips, and that was it. Patrick stopped thinking. He readjusted his grip, grabbing the back of Ollie’s thighs, and hitched him higher, so that their erections would align as they moved against each other.

  Ollie came first, shuddering in Patrick’s arms as he closed his teeth around the meat of Patrick’s shoulder. The pleasure-pain from the bite sent Patrick over the edge right behind him. Fuck, yes.

  The Ollie’s weight was a way to ground himself as his mind floated in post-coital bliss while he rubbed his face against Ollie’s neck and shoulders. As he readjusted his grip, he moved his hands up, closer to Ollie’s ass, and it earned him a breathless moan, barely audible, even to a werewolf’s ears.

  “Fuck, you’re just…” Ollie shook his head before lifting it to meet Patrick’s gaze. His eyes were wide and bright, the pupils dilated, and his cheeks were flushed, along with his neck where, as Patrick noted with satisfaction, a dark mark he’d left earlier was still visible.

  He wondered how long it would stay, how long Ollie would be marked as his.

  Don’t think about it, he told himself, choosing instead to slip one of his fingers between Ollie’s ass cheeks, which turned out to be very distracting for both of them. They went back to kissing and rubbing against each other, this time without any purpose other than being close.

  “You tired yet?” Ollie whispered right over his lips, sagging in Patrick’s hold for a second, probably to let him know what he meant.

  “Not even close,” Patrick told him. Ollie’s weight was nothing, especially underwater like this. “You?”

  Ollie shook his head before resting his forehead on Patrick’s. “I’m good.”

  Patrick nodded. He had no intention of moving yet, not any time soon.

  * * * *

  After they got out of the lake, they didn’t even bother toweling off since the sun pushing through the trees dried them quickly. They stretched on a blanket Patrick had pulled out of his backpack. It was big enough to fit them both, but small enough for their arms to brush against each other every time they moved. Patrick felt ridiculous over the level of excitement those brief touches brought him. He’d had sex less rousing than this, which, yeah, said a lot about the sex itself, but still, it seemed weird. He hadn’t been this thrilled about another person simply brushing against him since high school, when he’d played basketball with Jared, one of his best friends—and his first crush, even if he’d never admitted it back then.

  He was thirty-two now, though, not seventeen, so he had no excuse.

  He tried to relax into the companionable silence, closing his eyes and focusing on the sounds of the forest, but with Ollie close enough that Patrick could hear his heartbeat and catch his scent under the layer of drying water, there was no way he could fully let go. His wolf was pushing him to get closer, to mark Ollie again and to make him his in all the right ways. Trying to control those instincts required him to pay attention.

  And paying attention only sharpened the urges, so suddenly that Patrick found himself in a real catch-22.

  “You hungry?” he finally said, sitting up and pulling his knees close to his chest before circling his arms around them.

  Ollie stretched next to him, and Patrick bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from doing something stupid.

  “I could eat, I guess.”

  So they had an early dinner and it worked as a distraction for a while, but whenever Ollie touched him or smiled at him, Patrick wanted to crawl over him, push him down on the blanket and forget about the food.

  They talked a lot about Hills and its people. Ollie questioned Patrick about his impressions of various locals, thankfully leaving the entire Harrington clan off, and shared stories of his own from the time he’d first arrived, back when he’d been fourteen and, as he claimed, ‘pissed off at the entire world’.

  “I didn’t know werewolf families could adopt human kids,” Patrick admitted. His old pack had kept itself so separated from humans that he hadn’t followed the changes in werewolf-human relations throughout the years. The books he’d read as a young heir to the pack’s legacy had all been from the times when these two worlds had been kept apart, with werewolves being barely acknowledged by the humans and keeping to themselves in turn. He’d learned more after he’d gone to San Francisco and begun to interact with more and more humans, but he’d still found himself stumbling from time to time. All things considered, Adrian had been an incredibly patient friend throughout the years, willing to both answer his questions and call him out on his shit whenever Patrick had stuck a foot in his mouth out of ignorance.

  “Adoption is close to impossible, even if it’s legal in theory,” Ollie told him with a shrug, glancing down at the sandwich he was eating. “Fostering a human kid is…well, not easy, but easier. It’s still very rare, though.”

  “So you’re special, huh?” Patrick teased, intending it to be a compliment, but from the way Ollie curled his mouth in a grimace, it was obvious Patrick had missed the mark. He opened his mouth to apologize but Ollie was faster.

  “Not really. I was just lucky to befriend a very, very stubborn werewolf girl when we were both between foster homes. We became inseparable back then, even if I knew it could only be temporary, since there was no way we would ever go to the same home.” Ollie chuckled. “It was a good thing Sylvia didn’t get that memo. When the Tomilsons expressed their interest in fostering Sylvia, she told them she would only go if I went too.”

  “Wow, that’s amazing.”

  Ollie nodded. “I couldn’t believe my luck, so I was a little shit about it for some time. My parents are saints for putting up with my bullshit instead of just sending me back.”

  Patrick didn’t know what to say to that, so he tried to shift the topic a bit. “How many siblings do you have now?”

  “Five, including Sylvia. They were living with us for most of my time there. Then there are those who came either before or after us. It’s a different dynamic, but with the way the pack works, you know… We’re still close.”

  Patrick knew how pack bonds
worked, but that was between werewolves. Humans didn’t have those pack instincts, so it couldn’t be the same, at least not on an instinctual level. But Adrian had given him a whole speech once about not diminishing the human ability to form close bonds, whether they were the same as werewolf ones or not, so Patrick knew not to question the validity of Ollie’s relationships within the pack.

  Besides, given how Patrick’s own pack—and own family—had treated their bonds with him, he also knew better than to say one was superior to the other.

  “Were there more human kids after you?” he asked instead. He imagined it had to be hard, being the odd one out.

  Ollie swallowed the rest of his sandwich before answering. “They tried, but as I said, it’s not easy. Once there was a girl they were close to getting, but some long-lost relative showed up and took her in instead. I did have human friends, though, but since they weren’t in the pack, I didn’t see them often outside of school.”

  Patrick nodded, once again not sure what to say. He also didn’t want Ollie to turn the tables and start asking him about his family and pack, so he asked him when he’d first left Hills to travel and the conversation switched to living on their own and everything that came with it.

  He knew he wouldn’t be able to run from the topic of his past forever, but for now, he wanted to delay it for at least a bit longer.

  Or as long as possible.

  Chapter Twelve

  Ollie stared up at the sky in amazement.

  “This is one of the things I miss the most when I’m away,” he told Patrick, who was lying next to him. After dinner, they’d gone back into the lake and spent about half their time swimming and the other half making out and groping. Then they’d made their makeshift bed from the blanket and open sleeping bags, not even pretending they were going to sleep in separate ones. But since they’d come the second time in the lake earlier, they weren’t in a hurry now. They could just lie there and enjoy the view. “Nowhere else that I’ve been do you get to see the stars so clearly.”

  “It’s amazing out here,” Patrick whispered. He tilted his head toward Ollie. “I used to be obsessed with space.”

  “Knew all the constellations, huh?” Ollie asked with a smile. Most, if not all, werewolves he knew had been interested in space at one point or the other. He guessed it had something to do with moon being so important to them and their culture. “Show me what you got.”

  Patrick raised his eyebrow in a way that made it clear his mind had just gone into the gutter, so Ollie smirked and added, “Up there.”

  “You’re terrible,” Patrick told him but turned back to the sky anyway.

  He showed Ollie the easiest formations at first, some of which Ollie could find on his own. But soon after, Patrick moved on to ones Ollie hadn’t even heard of, so that was cool. His head was swimming with stars and constellations, and the darkness between them seemed to deepen the longer he stared at it. When he closed his eyes, he could still see the dots of light moving behind his eyelids, and as he listened to Patrick telling him one of the legends about the particular constellation Ollie wouldn’t remember the name of for long, he smiled to himself, thinking it might be the best date he’d ever had.

  * * * *

  He was too warm. That was the first thing he realized, still half-asleep, and he reached down to toss the covers off before he realized that the covers weren’t the problem. There was someone plastered to his back who was giving off an insane amount of heat and the sun was shining through the trees right onto his arms and chest.

  Then he woke up another notch. Patrick. Camping date at the lake.

  Ollie smiled to himself at the memory of the fun they’d had and he leaned back toward Patrick, not minding the temperature anymore.

  It took another second for him to realize that he’d fallen asleep last night in the middle of Patrick’s story. Way to go, genius.

  “You awake?” came the whisper from right behind him before Patrick nuzzled the back of his head.

  “Yeah,” Ollie whispered back as he reached down to cover Patrick’s arm resting around his waist with his own and circled his fingers around Patrick’s wrist. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”

  Patrick pulled away and guided him onto his back.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said, looking down on Ollie as he was resting on his elbow right next to him. “I hope I didn’t bore you to sleep.”

  “No,” Ollie protested quickly before he saw Patrick’s mouth twitching as if he were about to laugh. “That’s not funny.”

  “It is a bit.” Patrick grinned before leaning down to kiss him.

  As a silencing technique, it worked like a charm. Ollie let himself get lost in the kiss, not caring about falling asleep, their morning breath or anything else that wasn’t the pleasure of being in this man’s arms.

  What they hadn’t gotten to last night, they could make up for this morning, after all.

  He pushed his hands under Patrick’s tank top. “I think it’s too hot for so many clothes,” Ollie said after he broke the kiss. “Or any of them.”

  Patrick grinned down at him in a way that promised all the filthy things Ollie could dream of. “I agree.” He sat up, pulled off his top then lay down only to lift his hips to pull off his boxers. “Your turn.”

  Ollie blinked, having trouble comprehending words as he was staring at Patrick’s body, but then it clicked. He shed his clothes quickly while Patrick reached into the side pocket of his backpack and pulled out a small bottle of lube and a condom.

  “He who comes prepared gets a reward,” Ollie said with a grin, straddling Patrick’s hips as soon as he lay down on his back again. The sensation of naked skin against naked skin was incredible.

  As was the feeling of Patrick’s cock growing harder under him.

  “And what could that reward be?” Patrick asked, putting his hands on Ollie’s hips. Not pulling or pushing, just resting them there.

  Ollie rolled his hips, pressing over Patrick’s groin and grinning down at the man. “I’d rather show than tell.”

  Patrick lowered his gaze to Ollie’s lips before looking up again. “Be my guest.”

  Time seemed to slow after that. Ollie explored Patrick’s body—kissing along his neck and down his chest, tugging at his nipples to elicit that cut-off grunt he remembered, licking between his abs and kissing the tip of his cock. He took the lube from Patrick and slowly— so slowly —stretched himself open as he sucked Patrick’s cock, taking him deep enough to swallow against the head and feeling the erection harden under the attention of his tongue.

  His lips were bruised by the time he was loose enough, but he didn’t complain. He loved it.

  Patrick seemed to love it, too, since as soon as Ollie pulled back from his cock, he dragged him up for a surprisingly tender kiss. He brushed his tongue over Ollie’s lips before pushing inside and tasting himself.

  Ollie wanted something else inside him now, though. He sat up, rolled the condom onto Patrick’s cock and slowly sank down, taking him inch by inch until he bottomed out.

  “Fuck,” Patrick breathed and Ollie couldn’t agree more. He felt stretched and full and so, so good. When he tightened his muscles around Patrick’s cock, they both moaned loudly, the sound carrying into the silent forest.

  Ollie started moving slowly—the roll of his hips, the push down, the rise and fall—then speeding up as the hunger inside him grew stronger and stronger. Patrick tossed his head back and muttered under his breath too quietly for Ollie to hear, but he kept his hands loose on Ollie’s sides, still not pushing or pulling, just letting Ollie move however he wanted to. He kept a running list of suggestions, though, as well as giving all kinds of filthy promises.

  “Like this… Fuck, you’re so good.” Patrick inhaled sharply as Ollie tightened his muscles again. “So good. I’m going to drive you crazy next time, fuck you fast and hard before slowing down until you beg me to move. I’ll drag my cock in and out of you and you will take it, just like
you’re taking it now. Damn, that’s perfect.”

  Ollie had barely touched his dick before he was coming, an explosion inside his head breaking the world into a thousand pieces as he tried to hold on. While he was still riding the afterglow, Patrick tightened his grip on Ollie’s hips and pulled him even closer before coming as well.

  Spent, Ollie fell forward over Patrick’s chest, unable to muster up enough energy to move. In the end, Patrick was the one who rolled them onto their sides and dealt with the condom before pulling Ollie close for another kiss. It was more breathing each other’s air than some great technique, but Ollie didn’t care and it seemed Patrick didn’t either.

  “You’re falling asleep again,” Patrick told him, amused, and Ollie wanted to protest, but since he couldn’t keep his eyes open, there was no point of that.

  “Mm, it’s early yet, right?” he asked, nuzzling into Patrick’s neck and kissing him there. “We can take a nap.”

  There was a slight pause, then, “Sure. A nap sounds great.”

  * * * *

  Ollie didn’t want to leave the little bubble they’d created for themselves here, away from the rest of the world, but he’d promised Sylvia he’d be back around seven so she and Desiree could have their own date night.

  “We can come back any time,” Patrick told him when Ollie said he’d rather stay, and that made him grin and pull Patrick closer for a kiss. Making plans for the future meant Patrick didn’t want it to end either.

  It was too early to have the ‘what are we’ conversation, but he took it as a sign that he might soon start calling Patrick his boyfriend. They’d had a somewhat confusing start, with the hook-up and everything else, but since they’d survived their first official date, Ollie was feeling optimistic.

  They gathered their things after a late lunch and headed home. The drive back was easier, since Patrick knew the way now, and before they knew it, they were heading into town. Ollie hummed along with the radio as he watched familiar faces on the side of the street. Usually, the only locals out and about on Sunday afternoon were humans, since the pack often had a gathering of some kind, but there had been nothing big planned for this weekend, so Ollie spotted a few pack members as they passed.