Kodon

by Chris Mills

  Trina had the door. Kim’s smile never faded when she first arrived. “Good afternoon,” she said.

  “Damn, it’s hot,” a voice complained.

  “Gabriel,” Kim said stern.

  “Sorry, babe.”

  “I didn’t know you’d be coming,” Andy said.

  “Half day,” Gabe said. “My vacation days will renew not long after we get back from our honeymoon. Have to use them or lose them.”

  “I’ll work tomorrow. They won’t argue.”

  “Ha ha,” Gabe said. “You still live with your mom.”

  Andy gripped his chest. “Ouch,” he said. He chuckled. “I plan to be out in a year. I have a place in mind.”

  “You do?” Stephen questioned curiously. Deb had always cared for Andy’s condition. She’d have the hardest part if he moved.

  “I’ll show you when you’re back on your feet,” Andy said. He needed something. He had done the job for five years now.

  Kim placed the box on the coffee table that read ‘STUDY’ on the side. It was one of the many paper shipping boxes that she grabbed from Gabe’s work to pack up the apartment. Stephen couldn’t reach the third floor of his building because it had no elevator. The place hopefully was empty now. Gabe saw to it and had to take a couple days off work. Stephen used to live three hours from his parent’s home. The drive was farther for Gabe and Kim. It meant a lot.

  “More paperweights?” Stephen questioned.

  “No,” Kim said. “We brought everything from your study. We only have a few more boxes in the car.”

  “I’m not looking forward to moving,” Gabe said.

  “I had all my stuff packed,” Stephen said. “I wasn’t worried.” He’d would be seeing them all less. Five hours south would be a trek for them.

  Kim pulled the top off the box and tossed it to the floor. “I thought it would be nice to put some things in here to motivate you,” she said.

  “How about some robotic limbs?”

  “I’m not sure you’ll find those for a while,” Gabe said. “Did your visit go well?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “That bad?” Gabe asked. He only got a nod. “Well, maybe these will help.”

  Stephen stared for a few moments before taking a deep breath. “Why?” he asked. “Take those to a room upstairs.”

  “You earned these,” Kim said.

  “And I can’t earn more.”

  “No one has told you that. If you keep with your therapy -”

  Papers flew angrily across the living room. Luckily, they were stapled. Kim backed up quickly. She took to the kitchen. “Easy, bud,” Gabe said. He knelt down and scooped up the papers. He ran his hand back through his short, neatly styled, dark brown hair. “She’s trying to help.”

  “Maybe she’d understand if she read.”

  “Still, dude.”

  Gabe sunk down by Andy. Stephen tried not to eye the two trophies Kim had managed to pull. He really had been good in the sport he chose. Martial arts only came after his mother’s death. His father came to his elementary school a few times, only to learn his son had gotten into another fight. Going to a dojo was a surprise. Stephen would get to really kick some butt. He met his sensei who instead taught him discipline, respect, and how to focus. Those trophies spoke enough.

  Stephen sighed. He didn’t want to think about not being able to train anymore. He loved Karate and tried to branch into judo. How could he focus his anger now? That’s what he did when his father died, too.

  “Ouch,” Gabe said.

  “What is it?” Andy asked. Whispers came to his ears. Andy sat up straight. “Get another opinion, Stephen.”

  “I will,” Stephen said. “It won’t make a difference.”

  “It’s really gone?” Gabe questioned. Kim suddenly approached with a glass of water.

  “I’m sorry, I angered you,” Kim said. “I was -”

  “I’m sorry,” Stephen was quick. “You don’t understand.”

  “Babe,” Gabe called. “It’s not good.”

  “I don’t want to read it,” Kim said. “Talk to me. What did you learn?”

  Stephen took a deep breath to swell the anger. “I told you they had to remove some bone before from the accident,” he said. “They managed to pack a lot back in my wrist area, but not my ankle.”

  “Where is this going?

  “My ankle has gotten worse, and therapy most likely won’t help. It’s either deal with the pain, which will get far worse in time, or do what will need to be done to permanently fix it.”

  “A fusion? You can still jog and -”

  “Try imagining everything I did before. The scope of this is only a beginning. This is stage two of surgeries. I don’t know if they are going to have to do more. I already have a fractured knee too.”

  “When do you have to decide?”

  “By Monday.”

  It had come to mid-August already, and Stephen should be deciding on where to put things in his new apartment that he couldn’t sign the lease on now - not a life-changing surgery. How could he say yes right now to something he knew he didn’t have a choice for?

  “It’s only Thursday,” Gabe said. “You have time. Why don’t we take you out tomorrow to Ma’s? It might cheer you up.”

  Cheer up? Did he really hope that a simple meal could counter all this?

  “Sure,” Stephen said a bit too quickly. He sighed. “I wish this never happened. I want to be on campus.”

  “They did say they’d hold the offer till next semester,” Andy reminded. “You’ll be back to school. Don’t let it limit you. You bounced back after your last accident.”

  “Someone hit me,” Stephen said.

  “You still bounced back.”

  This time it was all his fault. Back then, he had worked the late shift at Wendy’s for a summer with Gabe, and they got off at 3 a.m. at times. One late night, he had an encounter with a drunk driver, and would have been dead if his friend Kevin hadn’t been driving home and spotted the accident. The motorist had fled, leaving an upside-down car and a lifeless boy with glass stuck in his chest.

  “Crap,” Stephen blurted.

  “What?” Gabe asked.

  “I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “I can call Trina.”

  “I hate this.”

  There they went. Their taillights disappeared around the trees. The home had been built in a wooded area for solitude. Stephen kept close to the window of the spare bedroom. This was where Trina had left him not long before the trio had decided to leave. Stephen hadn’t snapped like that before. Sunlight still had time in this area, and he hadn’t pictured them leaving till it was dark.

  Creaks came from the hall. “That, I must say, was very rude and uncalled for,” Trina said.

  “She gets emotional,” Stephen muttered.

  “Your actions were hurtful towards them, and you must see that.”

  “I’m allowed to be angry.”

  “That can’t always be an excuse,” Trina said sternly. “I may only be your in-home nurse, but that will not stop me from ensuring that your care towards others improves.” Stephen scoffed. “You can replace me, but you can’t replace them.”

  What would it be like if none of them came? Stephen rested his head back. The plain spackled ceiling was nothing compared to his old room on the floor above. He wanted to be able to walk up there, lie on his bed, and look at the glow in the dark constellations he and his father had put on the ceiling. That brought him peace in the past. None of this was right. He could feel the swell inside him. How come things couldn’t be in his control?

  The chair started to shake. “Calm down,” Trina said. “In and out. Breathe. You have to clear that mind of yours. Do it for them.” Stephen nodded. “I’ll be upstairs finishing unpacking the boxes, unless you don’t want me to.”

  Kim had asked Trina if she may be able to help. It didn’t make sense to unpack boxes in a place he couldn’t go to. “It’s fine,”
Stephen said. “It must be a mess in the gym.”

  “It is a little messy with everything they’ve brought.”

  “I know.”

  “Try to remember they love you. I know you don’t have much family.”

  “Any family,” Stephen said. His grandmother was all that was left, and he was a stranger to her.

  “Remember that. I’ll be upstairs. You have my beeper if you need me. Do you want me to turn on the television?”

  “Uh, sure,” Stephen said. White noise. The remote soon came to his lap. All he had was a Roku in here.

  Trina’s footsteps could be heard upon the second step and third to last from the top. Things wore over time. Those old creaks were good spots to get caught sneaking out or in. Stephen had managed to get out several times in his teens. Nothing he did was stupid besides toilet papering. He tried to be a good child for his father, and his father had a way of knowing anyways if he got out - including the bedroom window.

  Stephen struggled with the remote. It needed a voice feature. Finally, his show came on. His eyes shot up. His old room was above the guest’s. No furniture had come back from his apartment, only heavy boxes of his stuff. The landlord cut a deal with Gabe and Gabe managed to pawn the rest to people Stephen knew. Six hundred bucks ended up in the bank after this, two hundred of it Stephen had tried to tell him to keep.

  “How much did they bring?” Stephen mumbled. What had they all seen? He didn’t have any dirty pictures or anything - nor did he want such things. Megan had been stern that no pictures would be taken after a craze took off on ‘sexting.’ It seemed dumb to do such degrading things. Though Gabe probably found some items if he opened a drawer.

  Stephen rubbed his knee or what he could. He wanted to take the braces off, yet when he did, he expected barren skin. He hated the nasty scars that still needed bandages in some areas. His knee ached a lot, his left wrist all the time, and the simple bump on his left foot made it feel like someone was rattling a screwdriver within. He took a deep breath. Don’t think about it. His eyes trained on the television.

  A laptop would come in handy if Stephen could manage to use it. He wasn’t in the state of typing on his lap yet. Diving into some of his editing software would be a great time killer right now. He was heading to his doctorate as an aerospace engineer after all. There were tons of things to dive into with all he had learned. At least a computer would let him watch YouTube. He didn’t dare look at his social accounts right now.

  “Pardon.” Stephen’s head snapped to the doorway. “I found this,” Trina said. “It’s unopened and addressed to you. I didn’t know if you missed it at some point.”

  “No, I didn’t,” Stephen said.

  “Oh,” Trina said. “Why haven’t you opened it? I don’t mean to overstep my boundaries here. It’s curious.”

  “As it was when Gabe called me about it,” Stephen said.

  The grey envelope had been part of a larger envelope with documents in it once. A man in a suit had called Stephen into an office, read a document to him and his grandmother, and handed that to him. That writing still looked familiar to this day that adorned the envelope.

  Stephen,

  Open this when you’re ready.

  Dad

  “Have you ever opened it?” Trina asked.

  Stephen shook his head. It had a little pull tab to keep the contents secure. The envelope was thin and had obvious padding within from how it felt as pressed between his fingers before.

  “Please, put it back,” Stephen said.

  “Why?” Trina questioned. “Your father wanted you to have it. You’ve kept it for all this time.”

  “He said when I’m ready and I think I’ll know.”

  “Why don’t I put it on the table here,” Trina said. “I’m not done yet and I don’t want it to get put away wrong.” It had been in drawer in his desk for a long-time collecting dust. “I’ll be upstairs.” Stephen kept his eyes fixed on the envelope. Trina had put it right on top of the Macintosh laptop he had yet to open. Gabe had been quick to grab it from the apartment.

  Dang it. A pull let the chair move along the carpet. It never had been about being ready. Stephen would have opened it right when he got home all those years ago. Yet, all he had left from his father would be revealed when he opened it. There would be nothing left to learn from him unless he happened across a journal here like the diary his mother had hidden between the mattress and box spring. It wasn’t about being ready - only not letting it be over.

  The red tab had some stubbornness. Groans came after a bit. Stephen kept his elbow pressed and managed finally to pull the seal off. Plop. “All that?” he said. The DVD rattled lightly before coming to rest near the edge of the table. An odd, small silver cylinder rolled next to it. His name was scribbled upon the white label of the DVD. He peered inside and shook his head. All these years for a DVD and a piece of metal. He picked up the cylinder. It was very light.

  Stephen flipped open the lid to his Mac. For a bit he waited. Not a sound came from the hall. The rain earlier had left this silence - or had been him? A bar progressed slowly across the screen. He preferred a desktop for speed but didn’t have the money. His father had given some to charity and the amount left would not come to Stephen until he was 28, in hopes then in life it could be of more use, and even Stephen would not know the amount till then.

  The disk gave way. In it slid. That little hum he knew started up. How many disks had he ripped on this thing? The DVD popped up after a bit, next by his ripping software which he had an auto launch programmed. All that rested on it was a single movie file that would last six minutes. His father had never been techy like his son, who might have gone about putting this into more than a folder.

  No.

  A bald, weak-looking man sat behind a desk in his study. Light came from the lamp on the desk, making him look far paler than he should - or had he come to that?

  “Hello, Stephen,” his father said.

  It had been short; the fight with cancer. Caleb Jones had a cough that he finally decided to check out after his son’s more than slight annoyance built. An X-ray led to more, and the diagnosis followed. It had hit with full force. Yet learning the news, Stephen had this gut feeling his time was very limited with his father. One night it got bad. Stephen had urged his father to go in and they did. His father had tried to talk to him before. Stephen had silenced him once more and said they’d talk once his father came back from some testing. Stephen waited around and got some water. When he came back, he found a doctor, who took him to the lifeless man who had raised him. His heart had given up.

  “I know you must hate seeing me like this again,” Stephen’s father said. His breathing was wrong. “I try to keep going forward. I hope I fought to the end. There are some things I wanted to talk to you about. There are many more. I wanted to share a beer with you in time. I want to see the sunrise in Hawaii again at the top of a volcano. You hated being hauled up there.”

  It had been a little chilly. That vacation had been wonderful. What Stephen would give to see that sunrise once more.

  “My time is short, and I have to tell you hard facts. I am sane, Stephen. I know the drugs have made me a little off now and then. You must trust me.”

  Stephen had come home to find his father passed out during the weeks. A nurse had been stationed with him after that. It would have been worse if Stephen hadn’t found his father breathing that time. None of the drugs made him crazy.

  “You’re adopted, son. I know it may come as a shock. Your mom and I didn’t know when to tell you. It’s difficult to fathom your response. I was going to tell you before you graduated. I made it a promise. I’m sorry.”

  Stephen sighed. That news was old, and he had a suspicion once that faded, till he came across documents in his father’s study. His mother hadn’t been able to conceive. This house had been made for more than one child, yet only he had ever come. A report read that Stephen was found alongside a road, and the aftermath brought
him into the best home. Of course, it stung a little, but how could he stay angry against people who raised him as their own blood?

  His father told of their issues conceiving and a final test ending any chance of a birth from her. He had been the one to find Stephen. Lisa, Stephen’s mother, latched onto him in little time. They had a child, and all was right with the world at that moment.

  “Check the second-to-bottom drawer in my desk,” his father said. “You’ll find all you need on your adoption and what was filed. I didn’t expect to find you, but I’m glad I did.” Me too. “I wished that was it, son. I wish that packet had complete accuracy.”

  “What?” Stephen questioned.

  “I lied, Stephen and I’m sorry.”

  As his father talked, Stephen could only stare at the screen. This man spoke sincerely and calmly. Finally, his words were interrupted by a massive storm of coughs.

  “Dad!” a voice called. “Are you okay?!”

  “I’m fine,” his father ensured. He took easy breaths. “Go back to bed, Stephen. You have a test tomorrow.” His breathing had slowed to what had then. He shifted his focus back from the younger Stephen on the other side of the door to the current one watching the recording. “Stephen, take it as you want. All I can say is what I have. I love you, son. I really hoped I could have told you this in person.”

  Stephen held the small cylinder up. It had a slit along the top, as if it could be opened. Was it some sort of a tube? He stared at the envelope for a bit and slowly started to shake his head. The tube rattled on the floor. Why did he open that envelope?

  Chapter Three

  Dark yellow tablecloths covered the old oak tables. The dark wooden floor had seen its days. Black iron fixtures kept bulbs secure over yellow shields. The decor matched the black candle holders upon the table with egg white candles in burn. Not much changed here and that was the best. Ma’s kept the local crowd and would be a hole in the wall for those who were brave enough to venture far off the main highway.

  Ma’s Italian cuisine included many of Kim’s favorites. She never could eat the whole dish, even if she wanted to. Sometimes Ma would split a dish with her and a friend before so as not to waste. Kim only recalled having dessert here a few times. Gabe could speak more for that area. He had a knack to sometimes put an order in for dessert at certain places with his meal. It was odd the times he had a cake arrive alongside his main course. If it hadn’t been for Stephen, he’d be chubby like he had been his early days of high school. Kim only had pictures, being a transfer student as a sophomore and a year behind him.