by Kate Gavin
After everyone had eaten and paid, they walked outside to say goodbye. Riley was only staying for one more day, so this was the last time she was going to see her friends. She gave everyone a hug and apologized for being quiet, which everyone shrugged off as no big deal. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and walked back to the car with Abby.
She was startled out of her quiet contemplation when Abby said, “Let’s go take a walk around the park.”
“I’ve already done that today, several times, and at a quicker pace than a walk,” Riley replied dryly.
“Well, humor me and take another lap at a leisurely pace.”
“Fine.”
They made the quick drive to the park and started their walk along the paved path circling the perimeter.
Almost five minutes passed in silence before Abby asked, “What’s wrong? What happened?”
She let out a long, exasperated sigh. “I had a fight with Cam.”
“About what?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out.
“Riley, about what?”
She shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. “You.”
“What do you mean me?”
“I told her about hanging out with you last night and then again today and she got jealous.”
Confused, Abby asked, “Didn’t you tell her I have a girlfriend?”
She stopped in the middle of the path and raised her voice. “That shouldn’t matter. She should trust me whether you’re single or not.”
“That’s true but cut her some slack. She’s having a pretty hard time at home.”
Riley slumped her shoulders and stared at the ground as she shuffled her feet. “I know. I guess I just didn’t expect it. And I’m sorry I snapped, Abby. You don’t deserve that.”
“Don’t worry about it. I understand.” Abby slipped her arm into Riley’s and gently pulled her along.
“It’s just super frustrating. I’ve never given her any reason not to trust me. I know she’s totally thrown by the way Claire and her mom found out, and she’s hurting more than she’s willing to admit, but she shouldn’t take it out on me.”
“You know that’s precisely who we always take out our problems on—the people that we love. I don’t know why. Maybe we figure they’ll always forgive us when we’re being bitchy. I know I never hold it against you when you’re being a bitch,” she said with a smile and a nudge to Riley’s shoulder.
“You’re so funny.” She tried to stay serious, but she couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from turning up slightly.
“Well, it’s why we’re friends,” she replied with a smile before turning serious again. “Just give her some time. And when she comes around, make sure to talk with her about it. Don’t hide how she’s making you feel. She also deserves to know when things are bothering you.”
“You’re right. Don’t worry, Abs. I don’t want to mess this up. I’ll talk to her.”
“Good. Now let’s get going. I need to change before I meet Sara at her house for dinner.”
“Sounds good.”
They walked back to the car in a silence that lasted the entire ride to Riley’s grandparents’ house. It was comfortable this time, not like the tension-filled silence of the ride to the park.
As Abby parked in the driveway, Riley turned and told her, “I’m really happy for you, Abby. Sara is great.”
Smiling, Abby replied, “She is, and thank you. I’m happy for you too. I can tell how much Cam means to you. Don’t let a little fight derail that.”
“I won’t.” She leaned across the console and gave Abby a kiss on the cheek and held her tightly in a hug. “Bye, Abby.”
“See ya, Riley.”
She went into the house and up to her room to pack. She and her parents were leaving the next morning because her mom had a shift later that night. She didn’t want to let this fight come between her and Cam, but she was hurt by the accusatory tone in Cam’s voice. Maybe this time away from each other would be good for them. At least, maybe neither would say something they would regret or that would drive a bigger rift between them.
Chapter Eighteen
Riley and Cam didn’t talk on the phone for the rest of spring break. They shared a few texts every now and then, but the content of those never ventured past what they had done to occupy their days. Unfortunately, that made Cam even crankier than normal. Her first fight with Riley was a big one and fighting with her girlfriend sucked. Cam knew she had upset Riley and she couldn’t believe she let her irritation with her dad fuel her jealousy. She was pissed at herself for her reaction and could only hope Riley would forgive her.
Most of the week with her dad had been filled with awkwardness, interspersed with some periods of fun. They had a good time at the zoo and one day, they went across the river into Newport to visit the aquarium. While they both had a great time, they still didn’t talk about anything besides the usual things like sports, school, and college. It seemed her dad was giving her the space she asked for and was just waiting for her to open up.
Cam’s last day in Cincinnati was a Sunday, so before going back to Indy, they stopped for brunch at a diner down the street from her dad’s house. She understood why he loved this place as soon as she tasted the food. It was probably the best French toast she had ever had, and she ate it quickly, barely stopping to breathe. She was grateful for the high quality of the food as well as the amount, because her appetite had been close to nonexistent lately. She finished her last bite and raised her head to see her dad looking at her with amusement.
“Hungry, were you?” Cam simply nodded as a look of concern washed over his face. “How about we pay and then go sit on a bench in the park across the street?”
“Sure.”
They walked out to enjoy the bright sunshine and welcoming warm temperature. They found an empty bench after a brief walk along the trail that intersected the park. Her dad stretched out his legs and crossed them at the ankles, resting his arms along the back of the bench. Cam sat about a foot away from him, her hands at her sides. She leaned forward to watch kids playing on the playground and runners and walkers passing by them on the trail.
Eventually her dad broke his silence. “Cam, I’m sorry.”
She heard the pain in his voice and saw the sincerity in his eyes.
“I know this week hasn’t been the best. Did you have any fun?”
“Of course, Dad,” she said with a small smile.
“Look, I’m not trying to push you to talk. I know you’ve had a difficult time, especially with Mom and Claire. I’m really sorry I’ve added to your stress. Your mom and I love you so much. Yes, this has all been a surprise, but I think you’ve been misunderstanding us as much as we have you.”
She looked at him with a questioning gaze.
“This push-back you’ve been getting from us hasn’t been because we’re disappointed in you. We aren’t and we never could be. We’re just scared, Cam.”
“Scared? What do you mean?”
He let out a heavy sigh and said, “Sweetie, I know you’ve probably figured this out a little bit, but the world can be a mean and hateful place. We don’t want to see you discriminated against, ridiculed, or even physically hurt because of who you love. We’re scared of that, and we know there will be times we won’t be able to stop it. That’s an awful feeling for a parent to have. Being a cop, I’ve unfortunately had the opportunity to see the worst of humanity. I’m not trying to scare you, but hate crimes are very real. Your safety is of the utmost importance to me. Just thinking about anything happening to you is like a punch to the gut. Even though you’re growing into a beautiful young woman, you will always be our little girl. Your mom and I will never stop trying to protect you from any bad thing that might come your way. I hope you know that.”
Cam started to cry, and she turned away before her dad could see. But she knew she wasn’t hiding it well because she was fighting to get a full breath as she tried to h
old back the sobs. As soon as he rubbed her back and said comforting words, she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He hugged and comforted her like he used to when she was a kid and she’d hurt herself. After a few moments, she pulled back to wipe her eyes.
“Sorry, Dad. I got your shirt all wet.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll dry. I want you to understand how much I love you.”
Smiling, she said, “I love you too, Dad.”
He squeezed her hand and said, “Well, we should get going. Don’t want to get you home too late since you have school in the morning.”
They got up and started walking toward the parking lot.
He stopped when Cam said, “Thanks, Dad.”
Smiling, he reached out his arm and pulled her into an embrace.
The ride home was quiet, but it was a thousand times more comfortable than the drive to Cincinnati. They didn’t talk much, but they did enjoy two hours of singing along to the radio. They were always able to bond over their love of music. He always told her that playing music when she was fussy as a baby was the only way he could soothe her. Her mom was always able to rock her to quiet her, but her dad would quietly sing his favorite songs to her. Today in the car, he even tried to rap along to some of the songs when it was Cam’s turn to pick the radio station, not caring that he was making a fool of himself.
He pulled into the driveway and shut off the car. Before opening his door, he turned to Cam and said, “I’m glad we got to spend some one-on-one time this week, Cam. I know we don’t get to do that enough, and I’m sorry for that. I just want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything. And, if you ever need me to come home, tell me, and I will get here as soon as I can.” He reached over and squeezed her hand.
“Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate that.”
“Okay, ready to go in?”
“Um, sure,” Cam said hesitantly.
He carried her bag inside and Cam heard her mom coming down the stairs.
“Cameron!” She wrapped Cam in a surprisingly tight hug. Her mom whispered in her ear, “I missed you, sweetie.”
At first, she tensed, but she quickly disregarded the problems between them and returned the hug with an equal amount of strength. “I missed you too, Mom.”
And, that was true. Cam hated the rift that had come between them. Sure, she wouldn’t tell her mom everything like Riley did with hers, but she missed all the time she used to spend with her mom and brothers. She knew they were both to blame for the fight, but she really didn’t know how to fix things when her mom still had a hard time looking at her, let alone talking with her.
Her mom held her by her shoulders. “Did you have a good time?”
Cam looked at her dad with a knowing smile, and replied, “Yeah, I did. I’m gonna take my stuff upstairs.” She gave her father a strong hug. “Bye, Dad. Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
She headed upstairs, but she stopped when she heard her mom ask, “So, how did it really go?”
He let out a small sigh, and replied, “Well, you know from our phone call how that first night went. Things were tense throughout the week, but we had a really good talk this morning after breakfast. I think we understand each other better. I told her that we’re just scared for her, and I think she saw where I was coming from.”
“What do you think we should do? I mean, do you think this is serious with Riley?”
“I really think it is. Her face lights up like you wouldn’t believe when she talks about her.”
“Oh, I know. I noticed it before everything blew up, but I thought it was just because they were becoming really good friends.” Her mom let out a chuckle. “I didn’t expect them to become that good of friends.”
Cam sat on the top step and peered down at the scene below. She didn’t know that she had been that obvious when it came to talking about Riley. Her emotions were still raw. Hearing her dad stand up for her choked her up, but she was still wary about what her mom thought about everything.
“You should talk to her sometime, T. I mean, really talk to her. She’s a great kid. You’ve done an amazing job with her.”
“Thanks, Tony.”
Cam looked down at her parents with a sense of longing for the past, when they were together and happy. She knew things had improved since her father moved, but she still held on to the childlike hope that her parents would get back together. Seeing them like they were now only reinforced that feeling. Her dad placed a quick kiss on her mom’s cheek and he said, “I’ll talk to you later.”
Her mom nodded silently and closed the door. She pressed her forehead against it, and Cam, suddenly feeling like an intruder, turned away.
Chapter Nineteen
The first day of school after break was the first time Cam had seen Riley since their fight, and she couldn’t shake the nerves she’d had since waking up. Throughout the day, they both seemed unsure how to approach each other, even though they had a couple classes together. So saying hi was the extent of their conversation during school.
As the day came to an end, Cam couldn’t take the silence anymore. Before she changed her mind, she headed toward Riley’s locker, hoping to catch her before she left. As Cam turned the corner into the senior hallway, she exhaled as she saw Riley exchanging her books. She walked up behind her and gently cleared her throat. “Riley?”
Riley turned around and looked at Cam. “Oh, hey.”
Cam tried not to wince at the hesitancy and sadness radiating from Riley’s body language and eyes. “Hey,” Cam replied quietly. Biting her lower lip, she dropped her gaze to the ground. “C-can we talk, please?” She waited several seconds, but finally looked up because Riley was taking too long to answer.
Riley took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Sure.” She closed her locker, picked up her bag, and led Cam down a side hallway. She dropped her backpack on the floor and crossed her arms.
Cam wrung her hands together as she paced back and forth, but it was becoming obvious that Riley was waiting for her talk. It was hard for her to look Riley in the eye because she couldn’t stand to see the pain in them—the pain she had caused.
“I’m so, so sorry, Riley. I was an idiot. I had no right to be jealous of you and Abby hanging out. You’re allowed to hang out with anyone you want. I know you would never do anything to deliberately hurt me. It’s not an excuse, but I was just in a shitty mood because of the talk with my dad and feeling like my mom just passed me off to him. And I took it out on you. I’m sorry.” Cam stopped in front of Riley and as a tear made its way down her cheek, she took a deep breath and met her gaze. “I trust you with all that I am, Riley. Please, please forgive me. I love you.”
Riley moved closer and cradled Cam’s face in her hands. She brushed a few of Cam’s tears away. As she started talking, her eyes also filled with tears.
“You’re right. There was no reason for you to be jealous. I was up front about what I was doing and who I was hanging out with. I know things have been rough, but I am not your punching bag. We need to be able to trust each other if we want this to work.” She closed her eyes briefly and a few tears spilled out. Cam brushed them away with her thumb and Riley leaned into her touch. Riley took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She whispered, “And I love you too, Cameron.”
Riley kissed the tears from each cheek before tentatively brushing her lips against Cam’s. They both let out a sigh of relief before Riley kissed Cam more deliberately. Before they got too caught up in the moment, they wrapped their arms around each other tightly. Cam breathed in deeply as she nuzzled Riley’s neck, and she was comforted by her familiar scent. Cam lost track of how long they stood like that, but she felt a sense of peace as the time passed. They pulled away from each other with huge grins on their faces as they picked up their backpacks and walked side by side out of the school.
Riley stopped when they reached Cam’s car. There were still some people lingering in the parking lot, so Riley lightly gras
ped Cam’s pinky finger with hers. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you too. Have a good night, Cam.” She squeezed Cam’s pinky one last time before heading toward her own car.
* * *
As soon as Cam walked into school the next day, she instantly knew something was wrong. Most of the seniors gave her strange looks and their conversations seemed to stop as she made her way down the hallway. It made her nervous, and her eyes darted back and forth to classmates lingering in the hallway.
Walking up to Riley’s locker, Cam asked, “Is something going on? Does it seem like everyone is staring at me?”
Riley had a troubled, fearful look in her eyes as she looked around quickly. Then she whispered, “Meet me in the bathroom in the science hallway fifteen minutes after our first class starts.” Cam was about to say something, but Riley interrupted, “Please, Cam?”
Mutely, Cam nodded as Riley picked up her backpack and walked down the hallway to her first class. Cam tried to choke down the rising panic as she focused on collecting the books she needed for the first half of the day. She couldn’t stop her trembling hands as she closed her locker and walked to class.
While she sat in her first class, the minutes seemed to go by at a snail’s pace. As soon as fifteen minutes had passed, her hand shot in the air and she asked the teacher to use the bathroom. Cam hurried toward the designated bathroom without attracting any attention from the few teachers and students she passed in the halls. Once she was in the bathroom, Riley quickly closed the door and locked it behind her.