The Connect Who Took My Heart Away 3

by Coco Shawndé

  “Rather the truth go either way, Hosea and Duchess are mine. I don’t care.” he said, and I knew he was serious. When it came to the kids, he played no games. He´s the one who showed me the importance of parenting. Without him, I would be a fucking deadbeat. If I wanted to be with Vernell, I had to get my shit together as a mother. I would never put on a fake image of me always loving, caring, and wanting my two kids. Today I could walk in the shoes that fit me. I could tell my story without crying now, and that was a huge accomplishment in itself. Coming from that dark hole, I knew motherhood was an obstacle worth tackling.

  “I’m coming as soon as I can because I don’t want you there alone.” he said, and I took a deep sigh. With his legal issues, it was the last idea in my head while it was his first. Hard wasn’t the word being in a relationship with such a headstrong dominant man. Vernell could put himself in prison or even worse, assassinated if he stepped on U.S soil again. We argued about him staying back numerous times, and he let me know each time, he would take that chance for his kids. Arguments would get so heated, he has said, I’m a father. They are why I get to where that badge. Why the fuck would I not go to the ends for my children?? You don’t get that because you never been a mother!

  Through those harsh words, it was when I had to eat that shit up. He was right. Whether I wanted to hear it or not, it was the TRUTH. Hosea saw me high more than anything. I was sure when he was growing up, he knew if I didn’t get my medicine, my day couldn’t start, and I couldn’t do shit for him.

  “I can handle myself.” I spoke with my head resting on the pillow.

  “I’ll still be there.” he said bluntly. “Did you get to at least talk to Hosea on the phone? How he sound?”

  “I actually was able to see him. He came to Moss´ home. He looked and sounded upset. But he took my number...I can’t do nothing but wait. Wait for him to want to hear the truth. I made the bed, now I have to lay in it.” I said staring off into the darkness. Vernell eased me over with his words. I could tell he was trying to be considerate of my feelings, but it was times that raging bull in him would come to the forefront. Hearing how trying he was, I knew I wanted nothing more than to be with him. We were far from perfect. We weren’t kids anymore or even in our prime. In our forties, we were just getting it right. Or at least trying to.

  “I don’t want you talking to Moss alone. I’on trust him.”

  “Vernell…”

  “Hilary, you heard me. If he can fake your death, he can manipulate a divorce even more.” He assured. Knowing he had great reason to feel this way, I let him have his moment.

  In order for us to get married, I needed to divorce Moss. Not knowing how I would even take seeing the man, I had to remember my kids needed me more than a prison cell would.

  Vernell talked to me until he was getting pulled to handle some business.

  Hugging the pillow, I was finally able to rest.

  2

  Dice

  “Why would you play with my head like that?” On the verge of crying, but I held it back. “It was you this whole time, huh.” Pointing my gun at his chest, he showed no remorse for my emotions. He had been a crutch in my eyes. When everyone doubted his intentions, I believed it was all genuine intent. Never did I think he would use my husband's death to his advantage.

  “It’s time for us to be together, Dice. I’m not letting that nigga Hosea in this picture right here! I been patient with you long enough. I have proved myself time and time again. It’s our time to be together.” he roared, charging at me.

  With my gun in hand, I fired but this sneaky bastard got ahold of my wrist. “Stop it, Dice!!” he yelled, as if I wasn’t trying to kill him right now. “Chaunce is gone! He’s not coming back!!”

  This man was fucking crazy and wasn’t phased that I was trying to end his life. It was as if me arguing and tussling with him had turned him on even more. Putting up a fight, my only concern was putting a bullet into Litto. I was able to fire my gun, and it only gave this monster more adrenaline to attack me.

  When a loud pop went off, Litto´s body slumped onto mine. It wasn’t the sound of my gun, so I froze. Not expecting all of this, I freaked out with the dead body on top of mine.

  “Ahhh!” I screamed.

  Pushing him off, but not able to get him off, Hosea grabbed him from the back. Litto´s hands clenched onto my clothing, and I guess he wasn’t dead. Hosea threw him to the ground, quickly handling him by pulling the trigger until it was no more bullets in the chamber. He was close up on Litto so it made a huge mess. I couldn’t even look in the direction.

  “I hope you wasn’t thinking to be with that nigga.” Hosea said, stepping into my view.

  “Hosea.” I started, and I just began to cry. I got out the car, and just rushed into his arms. At first, Hosea didn’t wrap his arms around me. Crying onto his shoulder, he eventually hugged me back. “I just want you..I just want you.” I sobbed.

  “C’mon, let’s go.” he told me, kissing my face. Getting into his Bugatti, he didn’t say a word. We rode in complete silence. All I could think about was if C.J was with me. What would have happened? Would Litto have tried to attack me? Would C.J be witness to a murder? Everything was trying to run my brain wild, but the fact that he wasn’t there, I tried not to let it.

  Due to me being paranoid, I called to check on my son. I knew it was late and he was sleeping, but I was worried after what Litto just attempted to do.

  “I know it’s late. But can you go check on C.J...just check on him for me.” I begged, talking to Miani over the phone.

  “Dice, is everything okay? You don’t sound good?” she probed.

  Hosea looked over at me, and I just had to look away.

  “I just had a bad dream.” I lied. I could hear Obasi asking who was she up talking to at this hour and he sounded sleep just like her. “Can you go see about him? I’m sorry for waking y’all.” “I’m getting up now.” She told me. After a few minutes, she was back. “He’s sleeping.”

  “Thank you...thank you so much friend.” I told her.

  “Dice...you sure everything is okay?”

  “Yes, it is now. I’ll come get my baby in the morning.” I let her know. We got off the phone, and I literally curled up in the seat. When we made it to Hosea´s house, I was stripping down to get out of the bloody clothes.

  “Give me all that.” he said reaching his hand out. I did just that, never wanting to see them again. “One sec. I’ll be back to run the water.”

  “I can do it.” I told him, looking back over my shoulder, holding my breast since I was naked.

  “I’ll take care of it.” he said, making his way out of the room. He came back, and he was out of his clothes too, except boxers. Sitting on the edge of the tub, he came turning the water on. While it ran, we both sat on the edge of the jacuzzi style tub.

  “I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you.” he said, breaking the silence. “This is a lesson for you. If something is ever off, you tell me. Obviously, them calls were more serious. I’m sure it was more to it, but it’s not worth it coming at you now about it.”

  “You was there when it mattered...I haven’t had that in a long time.” I realized.

  “I try to be.” he said testing the water. He eased me in, and got behind me after he stripped from his boxers. For a whole hour, we talked about Litto popping up. It was a conversation I couldn't run from since he tried to kill him. I felt so little of myself to think Litto was on my side. Hosea made me feel better because he knew people intentions could switch at a drop of a dime. He explained that Litto always had a thing for me. He just didn’t show it until he saw me with him. It all made since and Litto had become a jealous man.

  Hosea washed me from head to toe, and I did the same for him once we stepped into the shower.

  “Girl, if you don’t scrub me! I ain’t no fucking lady.” he said with a grin on him, not wanting me to be gentle. Cracking a smile, I cocked my head to the side.

>   “My bad!” I said popping my eyes at him and bucking slightly. I continued to lather the soap and clean him. Afterwards, he stood behind me with his arms holding me close. The water was hitting us at all directions, not missing one spot. I could have fallen asleep if we weren’t standing up. That was how relaxed he had me.

  “I know you tired...we can get out.” he said, shutting the water off.

  He followed behind me out of the shower, and we dried off together. Pulling my weave into a ponytail, applying a generous amount of cocoa butter to my skin. Hosea used shea butter since that was his favorite. He leaned on the sink counter as I reached up taking his braids down one by one.

  By the time we were in the bed, the TV was watching us more than anything.

  “I never asked...but what were you doing coming to my house tonight? You normally call or something.” I asked, laying my head on his chest. It was no problem with him coming, but he talked to me on the phone as if he was busy.

  “Coming to talk.” he said, as his hands rested behind his head. Lifting up enough to connect eyes, I just stared for a minute.

  “To talk?” I implored. “About what??”

  I could see him shutting me out, and I hated that. With my eyes going in a downcast, I slowly nodded. “I opened myself up for you.” I said honestly. I didn’t want to feel as if I could show all my flaws and my life stresses to him and it not be something he could do in return. I felt we would never work if he couldn’t come to me like I did with him. He would squeeze it out of me, but when I tried, it was dried up emotions. He kept it all buried when I knew it was there.

  “My fault.” he said shaking his head, knowing I hated when he blocked me out. “It was about my mother.” he revealed.

  Lowering my head, I understood why it was hard to come out and tell me. His mother dying took its toll. His father’s actions afterwards took even a bigger one when he got Regina pregnant and remarried so soon after.

  “Just one of them days?” I asked. I knew death well. I knew it so well that when it happened, I was numb. On those levels, we could always relate. What I had no clue on how to deal with was losing your mother. Mine was still alive and a part of my life. Hosea didn’t have that, and I could sense he wanted to.

  “One of those days you don’t even see coming.” he said matter of fact.

  “What happened?” I said hearing in his voice that everything wasn’t all good like he was putting on. His eyes were closed, but I knew he was far from going to sleep. I could feel how heavy his heart was, and it kept me up.

  “Handling shit at the casino’s, and I received a call that my mother wanted to speak to me.” he revealed, causing me to sit up even more.

  “Hosea…” I called out, needing him to look at me in my eyes. “Your real mother? The one that-”

  “Overdosed. Yeah...her. She came back.” he said, popping his eyes open. He was staring into the ceiling as if he was seeing something. “Why? I don’t have a clue. How I feel, I still wish she was dead.” He said, trying to answer ever answer I could throw his way.

  “You don’t mean that.” I said, knowing I had wished like hell Chaunce would come back to me. Now I used my wishes on other things.

  “I do. I feel it in my body.” he honestly spoke. “She never been a mother. She has always been an addict.”

  “Does Moss know? Your family??”

  “I didn’t ask because I don’t care. I’m leaving that where it’s at. That’s why I didn’t start a conversation on it. That shit gone stay how it is. She’s dead to me.” he said, with pure venom in his voice. As his woman, I hated for him to be so cold. I wanted him to get help. Wanted him to work things out with his mom. If she was back, maybe she was better. Maybe she could be here for the process of Hosea healing from her abandoning him.

  “Baby…” I sighed, seeing how bad this situation was.

  “Dice...leave it. You asked why I came, and I told you.”He said with deep bass growing in his voice.

  “But that’s it...You was coming to tell me, but then you switched up. You didn’t want to tell me. You probably had thoughts on hearing her out which I think you should.” I said, with my hands in his hair, laying flat on him with my chin in his chest.

  “No, I didn’t actually.” he replied, looking me dead in the eye. There was a pregnant pause between us.

  “I do love you, Hosea.” I said, knowing he probably didn’t feel love. At least not from the people that put him on this earth.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, ma.” he said, shaking his head no.

  “I feel sorry for them.” I honestly told him.

  Never breaking contact, Hosea held my waist as he scooted me up his body. When our lips met, they stayed lip locking. Holding his face with my hands, I felt in my heart that this was love.

  Lifting my lower half, Hosea stuffed me with his dick. Shrieking immediately, I blew out a mouth full of air from the penetration. He wasn’t even in all the way and I was seeing stars. “I need you to take it.” he said in my ear, and lifting his hips to bury his dick deeper.

  “Babyyyyyy.” I moaned, putting the palms of my hands on the headboard. Hosea rocked into from the bottom as he locked me down with his arms. I never received such angry dick that felt painfully good! Knowing he was filled up with frustrations, I let him wear my pussy out. I would pay for it by morning, but right now...he could take it all.

  “I love you, ma.” he said, drilling away.

  “I–lov–love–you–toooo!” I moaned, as he sent hard pounds into my center. Every thrust, I could feel my cervix being knocked back an inch.

  “You fucking better.” He said, yanking my head back by my ponytail, and sloppily kissing me as we climaxed together.

  3

  Miani

  “Let’s fucking go! Now, Obasi!” I snapped, damn near shaking because I was that angry!

  “You leaving with this bitch?” Tiesha smartly said, trying to step in front of me. Obasi was high as hell, but he came down off his high some.

  “You mean I’m not leaving with you?” he replied to her. “Don’t end yo life with that bitch word neither!”

  I yanked his ass up like he was Easton, done playing with both of them at this point.

  “Let’s go!” I said not about to do this back and forth with this bitch. Pushing Obasi by the back of his head, his drunk ass just shook his head. The bottle of liquor he had spilled, and I gave no fucks. Soon as we were at my car, and I was still cursing his ass out, he turned around on my ass.

  “A’IGHT! YOU DID YO SHIT!” he said, fed up.

  “Oh, you mad?” I said, crossing my arms. I let this nigga have it in the parking lot until he swooped my ass up, and literally put me in my car. He started it for me and all.

  “Why you clowning like this in front of folks?” he said, and I knew then that he cared about being embarrassed more than losing me. At least that was what I made myself believe for the moment.

  “Same with how you can disrespect me with these bitches!!” I yelled.

  “Manne, get to the house.” he said, stepping back, swinging his arm out of anger.

  “Yep, soon as you get there.” I said, wanting him to make me move.

  Obasi got in his car, and I followed him back to his house. I couldn’t believe he was getting ready to fuck off on some bitches on me. No matter how ill he felt about today, the last thing on my mind was fucking off with Ralph! That shit was far from happening. Why he couldn’t see that, I didn’t know.

  Soon as we were in the house, the arguing started right back up! Obasi ended up stripping down to his boxers, and called himself going to sleep. I hated being ignored, and he knew it. Standing on the side of the bed, this man was legit closed eyed, and resting peacefully. While I was going off like a mad woman.

  Grabbing the pillow, I struck his ass out of anger. “Wake the fuck up! Don’t close your mouth up now when you was wide mouth drooling behind Tiesha thirsty ass!” Popping his ass with the pillow, he opened one eye on me.


  “You think I was going to fuck her?” He asked, looking at me closely.

  “You already been, so what was stopping you tonight!” I screamed.

  “Ain’t no pressure ‘bout no pussy...eva’ Shordy. Now I”m going to sleep...you gon’ put the pillow down, and join me. I’m high, got some drank in my system...Only fighting I got in me is digging in your guts, trying to stop myself from nutting up from that juicy muthafuka. But you going extra, ma. I left the club with you…”

  “YOU-SHOULDN’T-HAVE-FUCKING-TOOK-YO-UGLY-BLACK-ASS-THURRR!!!” I screamed, tearing his ass up with the pillow.

  “Look at yourself! Fuck is you cutting up for? I’m at home! I’m right hurr, Miani.” he roared.

  Obasi flung the comforter set back so quickly, and jumped to his feet, I leaped back. He snatched the pillow after I dropped it, and popped my ass back with it. I got to drilling his ass, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. With closed eyes, I was just beating his ass until I found myself locked in the closet by myself.

  “OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!!” I said beating it down.

  “We done fighting ma.” he said on the other side. I was so pissed, I got to knocking his shit over in the closet. “Get yo anger off. Go head. Because when I open this door, I’m getting mine off too.”

  “I hate yo ass!!” I screamed, wanting to fucking cry because he had me locked in this damn closet. It was big, but I was just mad that I was here.

  “I hate you too…but I love you more than I hate you right now.” he said calmly.

  “Basi...open this door.” I said ready to kick it down. I legit stepped back getting ready to take the door down.

  “I’m not opening this door until we on a common ground.” he blankly stated. “I know what the fuck I was doing at the club. I done dealt with Tiesha enough to know that´s pussy I could go back to.”

  “Go back to it. Stay.” I said, feeling hurt on the inside.