This Is Our Undoing

by Lorraine Wilson

  The Balanitse za Budeshte, the rebels, resistance; terrorists, if you were State. ‘He’s alive?’ She hadn’t been sure.

  Thiago gave an abbreviated upward nod.

  ‘Who told you?’

  Lifting one shoulder a fraction, Thiago said, ‘Iva’s mother at first, then a contact over in Panichishte.’

  ‘Do you think they’re telling the truth?’ It would not be the first time people laid claim to an act they had not carried out.

  ‘It’s likely.’

  ‘But he was, is–’ Lina stopped.

  ‘More than capable of fighting them off?’ That fractional shrug again. ‘On unfamiliar terrain though, against a group...’

  Lina nodded; he would know better than her. ‘Why would they want him then?’ she said. ‘Ransom?’ There was another option but it was not one the BB had ever used as far as she was aware. Swords and vid files. Or guns, but they so often seemed to prefer swords. ‘To French State or ... or Silene?’

  Thiago stopped massaging his leg and shot her a look full of forewarning. ‘Blackmail, of a sort.’

  Lina breathed out. She had not thought of that. ‘For the tags? But that will just bring ESF down on the villages. It will...’ Decimate or destroy or exile them. Kai had said that the monster had caught Dev, but monsters were complex things, and were sometimes also heroes.

  ‘Partly,’ Thiago said. ‘Yes, but they want ESF to kick the Wileys out too. The repatriations.’

  ‘Yes, Iva said. That’s an admission that the villages are connected to the BB though. Why would they do that?’

  ‘Mmm.’ Thiago rubbed the black stubble of his head and frowned at a map on the wall.

  ‘T?’

  She thought he was simply going to pretend he hadn’t heard her, but then he rose and came to stand beside her, his gaze searching and oddly cautious. ‘I don’t know,’ he said slowly. ‘They’ll see sense. Some people are going down to talk to them tonight.’ Which meant they had taken the injured stranger down onto the plains out of reach of ESF’s cameras. Easy enough to keep an immobilised man hidden in one of the multitude of villages made secretive and brutal by the cruelties of State and climate.

  ‘We can send drones out to search for his tag,’ she said, already calculating numbers, battery longevity, range.

  ‘Wait till I’ve spoken to them again tomorrow,’ Thiago said, and then, seeing her screen, added, ‘What are you doing?’

  Lina turned to look at the text file she had been slowly interpreting. ‘Just checking–’

  ‘Xander or Silene?’ Thiago interrupted.

  Lina touched the screen with one finger, the tablet ID a long number at the top of the window. ‘Xander,’ she said. She was about to tell Thiago about the conversation she had overheard, Xander’s determination to hunt her, but when she looked up, his anger about Dev was still there, and she didn’t speak. It perplexed her in a way, because she would have expected some anger, yes, but mostly frustration at the stupidity of others, even a little dry amusement. Not this.

  But then it was wearing on him as well, the joint stresses of the Wileys and the ESF tagging programme. Where Lina was able to almost disregard the latter, he was not. She reached to touch his arm, his skin warm beneath hers. ‘They’ll let him go,’ she said, not entirely believing it. ‘They can’t have thought it through, so we just need to make sure they can get out of it smoothly.’ Not back them into a corner, definitely not tell the Wileys.

  Thiago looked down at her hand and smiled slightly for the first time. ‘I’ll go get coffee,’ he said. ‘Looks like you might need it.’

  Lina turned to her screen and Thiago went towards the door, the light in the room swelling and condensing as he opened it. She had not told him about going to Beli Iskar, she realised, but it felt unimportant now.

  At supper time Genni came unresisting, eyeing the meadow and forests warily.

  ‘Shall we go and watch the fox den tomorrow evening?’ Lina said lightly, as if none of their previous conversations had happened. ‘We’d leave about four to be there before they wake. It’s about a mile away, so we can either cycle or walk?’

  They had reached the new house door and Genni looked back out at the forest again. ‘I dunno,’ she said.

  ‘It’s safe,’ Lina said, thinking of the missing man and the bloodstained doll. ‘Much safer than any city.’ Which was still true.

  The door closed, leaving them with shadows and the faint smell of cooked tomatoes from upstairs. Lina could not see Genni’s face in the half-light, but she thought she could interpret her sister’s silence. The lure of foxes, the unknown of the forest, loneliness, boredom and an unyielding blame. She sighed, their footsteps on the wooden stairs a muffled syncopation and the voices from the top floor insistent.

  Xander’s headphones lay around his neck leaking flattened music and Genni drifted towards him, perched herself on the far end of the sofa, setting her tablet in the same way he had his. Lina was so busy watching this quiet mimicry she did not notice Xander’s eyes on her.

  She smiled quickly and looked away, moving into the kitchen where Thiago offered her a beer and she shook her head. She had managed to trawl through his internet history for only the last thirty-six hours and had no idea when the boy slept, because there were no breaks in activity. Automated bots, she guessed, hunting while he slept. She had realised though that she was not skilled enough to untangle his tracks, because in amongst the normal news sites and blog sites, even grey markets and pirate stations, there were long visits to sites that made no sense. A laundromat in drowned Manhattan, an Igbo evening class web page in Hokkaido, a couple of others less strange but still not sitting quite right. And those bot connections running and running and running.

  She stood watching the kettle’s first curls of steam, and when Xander shifted his weight on the sofa she felt it as clearly as if she had been beside him. If he was clever enough to access London State’s arrest lists, he was undoubtedly clever enough to find out she had been checking. If he looked. Lina wrapped her cold hands around her empty mug.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Genni said to Xander, gesturing at his headphones.

  Xander gave a name that Lina did not catch. Genni shifted a little closer to him, and he looked up again at Lina. Thiago had told him that Dev must have moved downslope out of ESF range, had likely decided he would make quicker progress bypassing the steep slopes around Ibar. It was nonsense, logistically, but neither Xander nor his mother could know that. Perhaps the blank suspicion in his face was just doubt and nothing to do with Lina’s searches, or with his mother’s words earlier.

  Two of the bots had been set running three hours ago.

  ‘What blog is that?’ Genni asked. Xander sighed audibly, looking away from Lina to his screen.

  ‘An old one. It’s been locked.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ Genni was typing and frowning when a blank error window opened on her screen. ‘I can’t get it to open.’

  ‘The guy got arrested.’

  Lina had just finished pouring water into her mug and for a moment she could not move. Surely not, she thought. Without turning her head, she saw Genni lean over to look at Xander’s screen.

  No, Lina thought. Please don’t ask.

  ‘Who is he? What’s the blog about?’

  ‘The Low Hand. Some “resister”,’ the quotes as clear as if he’d gestured. ‘He might have killed my dad.’

  No, Lina thought again. Thiago was standing beside her as though he had been there all along, his hand brushed hers where it held the edge of the worktop, and how did his smallest touch feel like such a bulwark.

  ‘Xander, do you want to get your mother?’ Thiago said, turning around but still close enough for Lina to lean into him, if she wanted to.

  ‘That’s...’ Genni was looking at Lina, her eyes wide, the low sun turning them into black holes in a
gold-dark face. ‘Wow. That was your dad?’

  Oh god, Lina thought. She should have told Genni. She should have risked it.

  Xander did not answer, hunching his shoulders.

  ‘OMG,’ Genni said quietly.

  ‘Whatever,’ he said, standing suddenly. ‘Gonna post about it? Look at who I met, son who found his dad’s body. Cool. Gotta be worth a few likes, right?’

  He reached the top of the stairs and directed all of that grief-stricken anger at Thiago. ‘No, I’m fucking not going to get my mum. And I’m not gonna to sit here while you gawk at me. Not like you guys don’t have secrets, huh? You turn me into clickbait and I’ll destroy you, just watch me.’ He vanished noisily from sight and Genni’s vast eyes blinked.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she said slowly. ‘This is that James, isn’t it? He got arrested for this!’ She pulled herself sharply upright. ‘That’s why we had to leave. ’Cos you used to–’

  Lina had thrown herself across the room, landed at her sister’s feet looking up into her face and folding one small hand within both of hers. Thiago moved to stand at the top of the stairs, listening.

  ‘Hush, sweetheart,’ Lina whispered. ‘Please hush.’ The shock in Genni’s face was morphing into something else, and Lina spoke in a rush. ‘You’re right. It was James who was arrested, and my, our, connection with him that meant you and Dad had to leave. And I should have warned you who these people were but Dad hadn’t and I didn’t want to frighten you.’ Genni pulled her hand away. ‘I didn’t want you to have to worry about giving anything away, watching yourself all the time. Because, darling, we can’t let them know anything, do you understand? They know you escaped London without permission, but that’s it. That’s all, and we need to keep it like that, do you see?’

  She halted, almost breathless. Thiago shifted his weight to lean against the wall, his eyes on her even though he was still listening for movement downstairs. Genni looked at her tablet with the error message still showing. Even that hurt, Lina realised. James’ blog page locked by the police like an excision of him from the world.

  ‘He’s dead,’ she said so quietly that Genni leaned forward to hear. ‘They killed James. We have to be so careful, Genni love. Can you be careful?’

  Genni watched her for a long moment before saying slowly, ‘So what do I say?’

  Lina gave a small sobbing laugh. ‘As little as possible about London or why you came here, and especially not about their father.’ Thiago blinked, looked away. ‘You don’t have to lie, just be vague. They aren’t much interested in us anyway, so we need to keep it that way.’

  Genni did not need to lie, but Lina did. Mirrors and smoke and ashes. Her sister looked up to Thiago, who shook his head infinitesimally. ‘Your sister’s right,’ he said. ‘Avoid talking about the last couple of weeks, and you’ll be fine.’

  Lina watched her near-stranger sister with her new name and trembling hands. She wanted to tell her that she was safe, that this place was safe, that their dad was safe. She stayed silent.

  ‘I want to talk to Dad,’ Genni said. ‘You promised I could.’

  Below them, music burst against the floor like a tremor. Lina fought not to bury her head in her hands and weep. ‘I’m trying,’ she said helplessly.

  ‘Come and eat,’ Thiago said. ‘Before it goes cold.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lina had never imagined that her alarm waking her at four in the morning could be a relief, but this morning it truly was because she was going out. She was going to, if only briefly, put altitude and the forest’s own presence between her and this place.

  Her mood faltered as she passed Genni’s room and saw a thin line of light beneath the door. She had slept with the light on since she had arrived, and after pausing with her hand against the wood, Lina went silently on downstairs, pushed the door open onto a waning night full of the scent of crannies beneath stones, wet grass and amphibians.

  Xander’s skilled pursuit could wait, as could another call to Isla, and please let Genni sleep until she was back; let Kolev Asenov leave no more bloody proofs of defiance. But as Lina was packing the panniers on her bike, the main house door opened and she turned to see Silene leaning against the frame, shockingly wan in the low light, pained and drawn.

  ‘Silene,’ Lina said, ‘What are you…’ the other woman was wearing shorts but her feet were bare. ‘You wanted to come out?’

  ‘Thiago mentioned it, and I couldn’t sleep, so when I heard you...’ Silene held a hand against her face, her eyes drifting from Lina to the meadow and back again. ‘I thought ... But I’m not ... it’s very dark still, isn’t it?’ Her head dipped and rose again as if fighting sleep, but her eyes were still scanning the shadows.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Spoken reflexively, with so little interest in the answer.

  Silene’s fingers moved from her face to her throat. ‘I thought I heard someone.’

  ‘Just me.’ Lina closed the panniers and straightened her bike.

  ‘I thought it might be him, or maybe Dev.’

  Lina studied the other woman’s face, greyed by the fading night. There was none of yesterday’s frenetic accusation there now, just a vague, weary anxiousness. ‘I’m sure he’ll be here soon. You should get some sleep. I can take you out another time.’

  Silene nodded but did not move, her eyes on Lina, yet Lina’s face must be mostly shadowed. She said dreamily, ‘You don’t want me to come anyway, do you? Lina Stephenson and her adopted sibling. My Xander says you have secrets. He says you are hiding things and I think he’s right, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to see him.’

  It was not fair, Lina thought angrily, that one half-insensate widow could hold this kind of power. It was not fair. But then, there were a lot of things that were not fair and self-pity had never saved anyone.

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she said, forcibly gentle. ‘All I want is for you and your sons to be safe here and then go safely home.’

  ‘See?’ Silene said as if to someone else. ‘They’re working together so she’ll say he wasn’t there. But the blood ... I didn’t ... We need to stop her, or she will put my boy in danger.’

  Out in the whispering dark of the meadow something moved, and Lina knew without turning that it was Kai. Dear god, she thought, there was nothing good or right about any of this. ‘I really must get on,’ she said, pushing the bike forward and mounting it, brushing her hair back from her face.

  Kai laughed in the darkness and Silene flinched. ‘I won’t let you,’ she said, her gaze so drifting and unfocused she might have been speaking to her young son or Lina, or even herself. Lina pushed away and left the woman there against the door, her son’s figure half-visible. Lina might have called to him, but he laughed again and ran towards the house. Lina heard the door slam behind her and did not look back. Just a few hours, she thought, away from this.

  It was a monthly habitat survey that she was going to do; fixed quadrats for canopy cover, fruit loads, perennial species diversity. Perhaps not urgent, or even particularly important. But it was hers, and real, and right now felt like a gift.

  With one horizon bleeding towards morning, lightning was painting the far north with fleeting silver images of black cloud and the unmistakable whisper of a wildfire. Iva’s Svarog god, Lina thought, it was his season again. Then she was beneath trees and both the dawn and the distant weather were cut off, leaving her alone with the thin beam of her head-torch. An occasional late returning bat tipped its wings into her wavering light, and the forest whispered.

  By the time she reached the start coordinates, bursting into an opening on a small, boulder-strewn rise, the sun was painting every shade of orange across the undersides of clouds and the air in the clearing scintillated like it was hung with crystals. She climbed one of the boulders to drink coffee and checked in.

  - T, doing veg transects W2-5
. On site.

  - OK. Check in 0900h.

  - You going to the villages this am?

  A pause.

  - Yes. Talk when you’re back.

  - :-)

  - Negative

  Lina laughed and a blackcap cut off mid-syllable, staring at her from the edge of a hawthorn. She smiled at him and spotted a martenitsa, another scarlet girl pirouetting slowly just beside him.

  Her tablet sounded another alarm and Oh thank god, Lina thought; the blackcap began to sing.

  - Update on your father, Isla typed. He is still in Kosice but there’s talk of moving him to Bratislava. He’s been seen by a medic.

  What sort of medic? Lina thought. A good one or a bought one, and what did they say? – Why the move?

  - Not sure. They cite security and overcrowding in Kosice. He was able to write a short message to you. I’ll attach it below but first, we’re not going to interfere with the Slovak state case. We’ll provide your father a lawyer who will keep you, and us, updated.

  The world spun on, not caring about blackcaps or dawn-lit clearings, or how desperately Lina had wanted a different reply.

  - How good is their security?

  Isla’s reply was slow and Lina listened to the hundreds of miles between them, a clutch of nestlings begging in the brush behind her, the high calls of rodents in the grass. She wished she had found the courage to confess absolutely everything to Isla at the start. It might have made a difference now, but she had left it too late.

  - It’s good. But there are complications with the murder investigation in London and I’m afraid there may be ramifications for you, although I’m not yet sure how.

  - Complications? Lina rested one palm against the rock, the chill damp of it reminiscent of caves.

  - Perhaps nothing. But our Investigators suspect that State are looking for someone internally as a co-conspirator. And they think it was a response to the latest slum clearances in South London. Your friend’s last blog posts were about that, I believe, the child fatality figures. A pause during which Lina lifted her hands to type but could think of nothing to say. Isla carried on, If it was an inside job, that helps you.