The Spirit Key

by Parker Williams

  A deep growl issued from above me, and this time he went wild. Gone were the deliberate movements. Now he was an animal, rutting mindlessly, using me as nothing more than a hole to sate his lust. Every time he rammed home, he bit my shoulder. Tomorrow I’d have a body full of hickeys, and I would gladly stand in front of the mirror to enjoy each one.

  “Is this what you want, Scotty?” Slam. “For me to treat you like this?” Slam. “I’m only doing this because….” His breath hitched. “Because I love you so fucking much.”

  He still loved me. I knew it, but having him say it made me feel so much better.

  “I love you too. Always have, always will.”

  He slowed. “You… love me?”

  “Yes. One of the reasons I left was because I didn’t want to bog you down in my life. You’d always stood up for me before, but everyone has a limit, and I was afraid one day I’d reach yours and you’d toss me aside for being too much trouble.”

  He drew out of me. “Roll over.”

  I turned onto my back.

  He reached down, locked an arm around each knee, and bent me in half. With unerring accuracy, he seated himself again. “Watch my eyes. I will never leave you. No matter how crazy life gets, it only makes sense if you’re with me.”

  This time he moved slowly, his cock sliding along my prostate. No man had ever made me feel like this before, and I knew I could never feel like this with anyone else.

  As he pushed in, he locked gazes with me. Gone were the crinkles around his eyes. Now only a softness remained. “Say it again.”

  “I love you.”

  He smiled, pumping steadily into me. “You have no idea how much I wanted to hear you say that.”

  “Let me stay and I’ll say it a hundred times a day.”

  “If you don’t stay, I’m following you. I can’t be without you again.”

  A few more shallow thrusts and Tim moaned. I tightened my ass as much as I could, wanting to make it especially good for him. When he came, his O-face was incredible. I could see nothing but love in it, and it was that look that made me follow him over the edge.

  After he disposed of the condom and got a towel to wipe us both down, I got up, uncertain what I should do. He held out an arm to me.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I thought….” Man, it shouldn’t have been so hard to say what I wanted.

  “Stay with me? I don’t want us separated again.”

  I crawled back into the bed and smiled when he snuggled up against me.

  He flicked off the light and wrapped an arm around me. “Love you, Scotty.”

  “Love you too.”

  Looking back, that was the exact moment I felt a connection beyond friends with Tim. And, of course, that was the moment everything went to hell.

  Chapter Six

  WE WERE lying in bed, Tim’s arm wrapped protectively around me, and everything was great. I mean, nothing in the world could be more perfect than this moment. It was all I’d ever wanted in my life. Well, that and not to see ghosts anymore.

  Do you see where this is going?

  Tim leaned in, kissed me on the neck, then hissed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He groaned and rolled onto his back, rubbing his hand over his chest. “Fuck, it hurts….”

  No! Oh, hell no. He was not having a heart attack. Not when we’d finally found each other. Could life be that unfair after all the shit it heaped on me?

  Yeah, if only it could have been as simple as a heart attack.

  I scrambled for my phone, ready to call 911, when a hand burst out of Tim’s chest and gripped my throat, constricting, cutting off my air. I gasped, clawing, trying to get it to release. Tim’s face went white. He lurched out of bed and grabbed my shoulders, shouting, but the blood pounding in my ears cut off what he was saying. My vision tunneled, everything going black. The last thing I remember seeing was Tim kneeling over me, his beautiful eyes awash with tears.

  There was no breath left in me. I floated outside, witnessing the last moments of my life. Crystal-blue eyes bulged, and hands gripped the wrists of the bastard who was leaning over me, a gleeful expression on his face as life ebbed away. It was then that I realized it wasn’t me he was choking. It was a boy, maybe fifteen. Tears streamed from his eyes, his struggles growing weaker, his breath ragged as he tried to break free. The man above him laughed, ugly and cold, at the impotent struggle. When the boy’s choking ceased and he went limp, the man smiled. A moment later, he turned the boy loose, allowing the lifeless body to sink beneath the water of the bathtub. It was horrifying to see.

  Then the… man… thing stood and turned to me. It was no longer remotely human. His eyes were dark as night, and when he smiled, all I could see was a black maw that terrified me to my very depths. He reached for me, and I scrambled back, trying to find a way to escape. When I ran out of room to retreat, he was on me. He stretched an arm out and touched my face with an ice-cold finger.

  The darkness that surrounded him receded, and for the first time, I was able to see him clearly. He was probably in his forties, with a slight paunch, receding hairline, and green eyes. When I looked closer, I saw nothing but death in his gaze, and it scared the shit out of me.

  “Of all the ones I killed, he was my favorite. I was attracted by his blond hair and those piercing blue eyes. I found him wandering the streets, nowhere to go, no family to love him. I offered him a home, friendship, safety. And then one night, while he was relaxing in the bathtub, I walked in, and when he turned and smiled at me, I knew the time had come. He was confused when I bent over and wrapped my hands around his throat, but he wasn’t afraid. Yet. That came when I squeezed. The look in his eyes, the pain, the betrayal—it was sweet, and in his death, I was started on a new path in life. I thought the killing was the headiest thing, but I was wrong. I never realized that earning their trust, then tearing it away could be like that. I felt strong, powerful. Instead of just killing them, now I wanted them to know utter despair. I took in children from the streets and gave them hope, and then I took it from them, along with their lives.

  “Now this one is mine and you’ll not have him. It has taken me years to get him where I need him, and if you interfere, I will force him to kill you.”

  A sharp pain in my head yanked me away from him. I sat up, gasping for breath, to find Tim shaking me, screaming my name.

  “What the fuck was that?” he cried out.

  My throat was raw and raspy when I croaked, “I think we may be in trouble.”

  He helped me to stand, then guided me to the kitchen, where he made us coffee. It burned when I swallowed, and I reached up to rub my throat.

  “You have bruises.” Tim’s voice was oddly subdued, but he reached out and touched my neck. “They look like fingers.”

  “Because they are! Somehow I… I don’t even know how to describe what just happened. I watched as he killed someone, but I have the marks.”

  He didn’t reply, simply stared into his cup.

  “Tim?”

  When he finally met my gaze, my heart broke as I realized the truth.

  “You didn’t believe me.”

  He shook his head. “No, I….” He fluttered a hand. “Come on, ghosts? How was I supposed to know you were telling me the truth?”

  White-hot anger surged through me. I pushed away from the table, knocking over the cup. The contents spilled onto the table, then over the edge. “Maybe you could have believed me. Or you could have asked questions instead of humoring the freak. Admit it, that’s what you thought, isn’t it? It suddenly dawned on you that everyone in school had been right. I was a freak.”

  He sneered, his lips drawing back to show his teeth. “I never said that. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

  “No? Then tell me, what did you think?”

  He wouldn’t meet my gaze, and that told me everything I needed to know.

  I stormed to the door, yanked it open, and was about to step outside when Tim came up f
rom behind me and grabbed my arm.

  “Scotty—”

  I whirled on him. “Don’t fucking call me Scotty. That name is reserved for my friends. Now let go and leave me the fuck alone.”

  He loosened his grip, and I yanked away from him, then stormed out of the house. He didn’t follow, for which I was grateful. I stalked down the street, trying hard to get my rage under control. It took hours. Each time I thought I had a handle on my anger, it would surge back. Finally as the sun came up, I began to calm. Needing validation, I called Mom.

  “Why are you out of breath? Oh God, don’t tell me you’re having sex.”

  “Why would I call you if I was having sex?”

  “Because you’re a weird kid.” She snickered.

  “I need Ryan’s address. I’m going to go see him.”

  “Who are you mad at? And don’t tell me you’re not, because I can hear it in your voice.”

  “Tim and I had an argument. I needed to get out to clear my head.”

  “And you think that seeing the brother you just yesterday were a jerk toward is a good idea?”

  “Yes.” No. “Maybe?”

  I spotted a bench near the park and took a seat. There was a diner across from it, and I thought maybe I could go sit in there for a while and nurse some coffee along with my grudge. How could he not believe me?

  Because he’s never seen a ghost. Duh. You were awfully hard on him.

  He didn’t believe me. He thought I was a freak.

  Those are your words, not his. You could have talked to him about it, but instead you ran away. Again. You’re good at that, aren’t you?

  Internal voices can be irritating as hell.

  “Fuck!”

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  I scrubbed a hand over my face. I was still being a defensive ass to everyone. “Mom, let me ask you, if I told you something that was so far outside of the things you know, would you accept what I’m telling you is the truth?”

  She hummed. “I guess it depends on how weird it was.”

  “If I said I saw a UFO?”

  “So have I.” She chuckled. “An unidentified flying object is called that because you don’t know what it is. There have been plenty of things I saw that I had no clue what they were, so they would qualify.”

  I groaned, knowing she was trying to lighten the mood. “No, like if I said I saw a flying saucer. Would you believe me?”

  “I would think you believed it, and that would be enough for me.” She paused a moment. “Did you see a flying saucer?”

  “No.” I wanted to tell her, but I knew it would be too weird. “It’s just that I told Tim something and I thought he believed me, but it turns out he didn’t. And now that he’s experienced it for himself, he’s confused.”

  “And you’re angry.”

  “Yes! He didn’t believe me.”

  “Oh, Scotty…. If I said I saw Elvis, what would you say?”

  “He’s dead, Mom.” Which meant I had a better chance of seeing him than she did.

  “Are you sure? What if he really did just drop off the grid? Would you think I was crazy if I said I saw him?”

  A young man in the diner was standing near a table talking to a family sitting in the booth, a big smile on his face. He looked up, saw me, and waved. I returned the gesture, though not sure why.

  “You’re not answering.”

  I wasn’t answering because I knew what she meant.

  “Honey, we live in a world where we can only believe in things we’ve seen with our own eyes. Unless you’re in politics, then anything you say is suspect. But if you told me you saw Elvis, I would say I believe what you think you saw.”

  And that was the same thing Tim had been trying to say. Ghosts were real, and I’d known that my whole life. Could I really blame Tim for not believing me? Would I believe him if the shoe was on the other foot? I wanted to say yes, but….

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Do you still want Ryan’s address?”

  I thought about it, but then a better idea came to me. “How about his phone number? I’ll invite him out for coffee. Maybe neutral ground is what we need.”

  “And maybe you need to call Tim and have him come along. Might not hurt to have a referee. Besides, it sounds like you need to clear the air with him too.”

  It made sense, even if I didn’t want to admit it. I had no right being angry with Tim for being dubious about my claims. Even if what I saw was the weirdest thing ever, he couldn’t know for sure until he experienced it himself.

  Besides, that would give me yet another thing to lord over him.

  “Thanks, Mom. Listen, you’re welcome to come for coffee too. I might even spring for a croissant.”

  That got a snort out of her. “I would love nothing more, but I’m manning the switchboard today for my group. We answer the phones and talk to the people, tell them our stories, and offer them a variety of places they can go for help with the drinking or drugs. It feels good to give back.”

  My family consisted of way better people than I deserved, and that included Tim. Maybe it was time I earned my spot with them instead of being so invested in myself. After all, the ghost did come through Tim. Had it been there all along? Was it something I brought with me? Here I was, again, thinking of myself when Tim’s life could be in jeopardy.

  “Okay, but we’ll make it a date for another time, right?”

  “Absolutely. I want to catch up with you in the worst way. I… I missed you a lot. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about you.”

  “Every day I thought about you too. I even thought about Ryan—who, it turns out, is a good man, and I’m hoping one day to earn his forgiveness.”

  She clucked her tongue. “Honey, he’s angry and hurt, but he still loves you. Give him a chance but be prepared to grovel like you never have before.”

  I owed it to him. My entire life growing up, I’d been a dick to him because of some slight as a child. “I promise, I will.”

  “Good. Now call your brother and your man.”

  Wait. “What?”

  Her laugh brought back memories of happier times. “There were a lot of times when you were growing up that I wanted to ask you why you didn’t just lick him and say he was yours. You had such affection when you saw him, and it was so sweet. Then I noticed he looked at you the same way. I always hoped the two of you would find your way to each other. Tim definitely brought out the best in you.”

  My cheeks warmed at the thought other people could see Tim and I cared for each other. “I should let you go. I need to call Ryan.”

  “Just so you know, I did tell him you were home. I figured it might be a few days before you got around to calling him and—”

  “Hey!” Fine, I would have procrastinated. I admit it—to myself, if no one else.

  “He’s excited to hear you’re back, but I don’t know if it’s so he can hug you or deck you. Right now, my money is on the latter. And if he does hit you, don’t think you don’t deserve it.”

  No, I totally did, but I was determined to be the better person my mom thought I was, and the one Tim was worthy of.

  I WON’T deny my surprise when both Ryan and Tim agreed to meet me at the diner.

  I walked in to get us a table, letting the server know there would be three of us. The young waiter introduced himself as Noel and told me to grab a seat anywhere. I figured near the windows would be best, so if Ryan hit me, at least there would be witnesses.

  The diner was nice. I loved the little jukeboxes on the table, and when I saw it had “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, I had to hear it. The quarter slipped down the slot, and I punched C6 to play the song, then leaned against the seat and let the music take me back.

  Okay, I know what you’re thinking, but I was a gay kid who might have, once or twice, stood in front of my mirror with the hairdryer pretending to be Posh. Don’t judge me.

  Noel put down three glasses of water, then stepped back, swaying his hips. “I li
ke this song too.”

  “Noel….” The bear cooking glared at him. “We talked about this stuff, pup. You don’t want to be teasing me, do you?”

  A cheeky grin graced Noel’s pretty face. “No, sir. Sorry.” He winked at me. “Don’t mind Lincoln. He’s a little growly, but he’s a great guy. I’ll come back after your guests arrive and take your orders.” He turned and practically floated back to where the cook was, then leaned in for a kiss. It was so damned sweet, I might have been a bit jealous. But then again, I bet they weren’t having sex as hot as I had with Tim.

  Speaking of which, just as the song ended, the door swung open and Tim stepped in with Ryan. My stomach knotted at seeing my brother. He had put on muscle and was now sporting a close-cut beard and mustache. There were fine lines around his eyes and mouth, and I wondered how much of that I was responsible for.

  I stood, waiting to see what Ryan would do. If he decided to hit me, I wouldn’t defend myself. If there was one thing I’d learned in the last two days, it was that I was a selfish asshole who had a lifetime of screw-ups to correct.

  Ryan stopped and stared at me for a moment, then rushed toward me. Of all the reactions I expected, having him scoop me into his arms and squeeze until I thought he’d snap my spine wasn’t one of them.

  “Oh God. It’s really you.” He stepped back, and the sheen of tears was obvious. “Please tell me I’m not dreaming.”

  “Not dreaming. It’s really me.”

  He hugged me again, and this time I hugged him back. We stood there for a good five minutes, just clutching each other.

  “You’re an asshole,” he whispered in my ear.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I never thought I was hurting anyone. I figured you would all be happier if I was gone.”

  “No. Never happier. I missed you every fucking day.” He let me go and stepped back. “I prayed you’d come home to us, and you know how I feel about praying.”

  Yeah, Ryan had nothing good to say about any organized religion. Since about fifteen, he’d said he could be spiritual but didn’t need anything but him communicating with the universe.

  When I turned back toward Tim, he was standing there, uncertain. That look on his face? Totally my fault. I went over and wrapped my arms around him, basking in his presence.