Star Rider and the Golden Threads

by Heidi Skarie

  “I’m much better. It’ll be good for me to get away from all the responsibilities and pressures in Jaipar for awhile.”

  “When will you be back?”

  Her voice sounded anxious and he felt a twinge of guilt for leaving her with such a large burden while he took time for himself. “I don’t know. I wish I could be more definite.”

  “I hope it helps.”

  “It will.” She looked worried. He knew she didn’t want him to go and didn’t understand why he felt he had to. He wasn’t sure he understood himself.

  Her voice hardened as it did when she was talking to her generals. “This is a terrible time for you to leave.”

  “I know and I apologize, but it’s just something I need to do.”

  “Then go. I have a meeting to attend.”

  “Later, love.” Erling kissed her lightly, feeling the distance between them as he left for the hangar. Michio was already at the Viper when Erling arrived and they took off.

  An hour later, they reached the Gateway Mountain Range and landed the aircraft a short distance from the village of Kumba. They left the ship and Erling shivered as he stepped onto the snow-covered ground. Both men started hiking through the tall, bare trees, walking briskly to keep warm.

  After awhile Erling grew tired, so they stopped by a mountain stream to rest. They both refilled their hipflasks from the stream and drank the cold, healing water. Energized by the sacred water, they continued directly to the Master’s hut instead of stopping at the village. A feeling of peace and serenity settled over Erling and he walked in silence; words seemed unimportant and unnecessary so close to meeting with the Master.

  They reached Master Bakka’s home early that afternoon and found him sitting outside on a bench. “Welcome,” Master Bakka said in a melodious voice. The Master touched his forehead and bowed. Erling returned the ancient greeting. Waves of love radiated out from Bakka and his penetrating blue eyes seemed to look into the depths of Erling’s Soul. He heard a high-pitched humming sound and saw a glowing blue light around the Master.

  “Come inside and get warm,” the Master said.

  “I can’t stay,” Michio replied. “I need to get back to assist Queen Koriann with fortifying Jaipar’s defenses before the Raptor space fleet arrives.”

  “I understand. Go forth with my love,” Bakka said.

  “Watch out for Kori,” Erling said. “She takes her duties so seriously that she doesn’t remember to eat or sleep.”

  “I’ll do my best to see she doesn’t push herself too hard, but she’s a strong-willed woman.”

  Erling nodded. His Kori was strong-willed all right. “And thank you for bringing me here and for attending to affairs of state.”

  “I’m glad to. I want Jaipar to stay a free nation as much as you do.” Erling and Michio embraced, then Michio left.

  Inside the small hut, Erling sat by the fireplace and held his hands close to the flames. Bakka poured him a cup of tea. As Erling drank, its warmth flowed through him and he felt at peace. The concerns of Jaipar seemed far away.

  “You’ve come here seeking to learn more about ancient truths and the meaning of life,” Bakka said, putting a log on the fire, building the flames up to a strong blaze. “It is time for you to unfold to greater spiritual heights, but not in the way you think. You want to retreat from life, but that is not your destiny. It is time for you to accept your mission in life, which is to become the ruler of Jaipar alongside Koriann. The trials, lessons and experiences you’ve endured have been part of this training.

  “Your love for Koriann and your faith in God was tested in your fight with King Zanton Duborginact. Your love for Koriann was again tested in your decision to live and remain in the physical world. Your years of experience in the Coalition have given you skills you need to fight this war against King Zanton and Samrat Condor, and the leadership qualities you need to rule Jaipar. Your inward spiritual training will make you a good ruler.”

  “But I’ve lost all interest in this world. I want to live peacefully in Kumba—not fight in another war. I’ve been fighting Samrat Condor all my adult life.”

  “You’re welcome to stay in the village of Kumba and spend time in training and contemplation for awhile. But eventually you need to return to the world and take your place beside Koriann as the joint-ruler of Jaipar.”

  “I don’t want the responsibility of ruling Jaipar,” Erling said. A feeling of anguish clutched his heart. “I don’t feel a part of this world anymore.”

  The Master’s piercing eyes studied Erling. “You will never be part of it as you used to be.”

  “You don’t understand. I’m totally uninterested in this world.”

  Bakka gestured in the direction of the village. “Then stay at the village, if that is what you wish.”

  “How can I do that? You said it was my destiny to be ruler of Jaipar.”

  “Only if you accept that destiny.”

  “What will happen to Kori and planet Borko if I stay at the monastery?”

  “I thought you said you were totally uninterested in this world.”

  “That’s overstating it a bit. Of course, I care what happens to Borko and I love Kori.”

  A smile spread across the Master’s round face and his eyes twinkled. “It doesn’t sound as if you’re completely sure you want to withdraw from life. To reach a higher state of consciousness, it’s not necessary to live in a monastery away from the world. You can lead a full, active life. It is a matter of where you place your attention and on your attitude.

  “You are an awakened Soul—a conscious being. At the village it’s easier to place your attention on God because you don’t have outside distractions and influences. Yet you won’t have the same challenges, pains and pleasures that help bring about the purification of Soul. If you decide to marry Koriann, your life will be fulfilling. You and Koriann have a deep bond of love and are committed to one another.”

  “But you don’t understand. I—” Erling hesitated to say something so personal, but finally blurted, “I no longer desire Kori, you know, as a man does a woman.”

  Master Bakka nodded in understanding. “You almost died and are still readjusting to the physical world. It’s been a shock on many levels. You now know with certainty that Soul is immortal. Why did you choose to come back to the physical world instead of moving on?”

  “Kori came to me in the Inner Worlds. I returned because of her. Moreover, I knew I hadn’t finished the spiritual mission I came into this life to achieve. Yet now that I’m back in this physical world, I miss the peace and harmony of the higher regions and long to return. I don’t feel the passion I used to feel for life, for the war, for Kori. I know it doesn’t really matter if we win or lose the war. It’s all just lessons people need for their spiritual growth.”

  Bakka’s eyes caught Erling’s with his gaze. “While it’s true there is always war someplace in this physical world, Samrat Condor’s spread of dark power needs to be stopped. He is creating an imbalance in the lower worlds, trying to extinguish the Secret Teachings and all knowledge of the Inner Worlds, so he can control people and rule in fear.”

  “But what can one man do against his powers?”

  “One man can lead and inspire others and help stop Samrat Condor’s power from spreading throughout planet Borko. Erling, your passion for life will return. You’re not suited to the reclusive life of a monk.”

  “Will my passion for Kori return?”

  The Master smiled and nodded. “If you want it to. Sex is a sacred act that lifts two Souls to a higher state of awareness, if it is between two people who have pure love. Don’t look at the things of this world as holding you down spiritually. I’ve given you enough to think about for now. Please stay and have dinner with me before heading to the village. They are expecting you and the gates will be open when you arrive.”

  Erling felt the best he had since awakening from his coma. A deep contentment settled over him. It had been the right decision to come
here. He needed time to sort through things and figure out what direction his life should take.

  Onolyn waited on edge for Zac to return. In the workroom she felt a new dark power that seemed to be closing in on her. As the hours passed, her head began to ache, then throb and she suspected Seetva had put a spell in the room. Onolyn imagined a shield of Light surrounding her and managed to block some of malicious energy, but she was weak and didn’t know how long she could fight off the hex.

  Long after dark, she realized Zac wasn’t coming. Afraid of the nightmares that always came, she tried to stay awake. Though sitting up, her eyes kept shutting. Finally, she succumbed to fatigue and fell asleep. In the dream worlds she was back in the swamp. Out of the swirling fog, Seetva appeared, carrying a small cage. Creatures inside it clawed the bars, trying to escape.

  “You’re mine now, Onolyn!” Seetva said. “I’ve added you to my collection to use as I please.”

  Onolyn starting screaming and woke herself up. She shook with fear, her heart pounded and she couldn’t catch her breath. “Master Bakka, please help me! Please!” She moaned rocking back and forth.

  “Onolyn, are you all right?”

  Confused and groggy, Onolyn opened her eyes and saw Zac squatting by the cage with a candle in his hand.

  “I brought you water.” He slid a glass through the bars and set it on the floor beside her.

  She picked it up and took a few swallows. It felt good gliding down her parched throat. “Where have you been? I waited all day. Seetva put a spell in the room. I’m scared, Zac.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here any sooner. Seetva watches me so closely I wasn’t able to bring you any food. Onolyn, you need to give into Seetva’s demands so she’ll let you out of the cage and give you food and water.”

  “Never. I’d rather die!”

  He looked at her with terrified eyes. “I couldn’t bear it if you died. I have to go. I’m endangering both of us by being here.” He stood and started for the door.”

  “No! Don’t go! I don’t want to be alone.”

  He turned toward her. “You must shield yourself from her. You have to be stronger than her.”

  He left the workroom and Onolyn broke down in tears.

  25

  Coalition Starship

  Toemeka and Jake entered one of the starship’s crowded mess halls and headed to the food station where it listed the meals available. She made a selection, then waited for Jake to make his. Several friends greeted her and she was glad she’d shed her rich-girl disguise upon arriving.

  At a nearby table, three female pilots looked speculatively at her and Jake, no doubt wondering about their relationship. Jake was considered a hot catch and they probably didn’t want competition.

  Despite being on inactive duty for over three months, Toemeka found it easy to slip back into military life. She and Jake walked over to the counter where an android, designed to look like a teenage boy, set their food out. On her plate was sliced meat from a margo bird on a fresh purple-leafed salad. All large spaceships had hydroponic gardens and raised some fowl and animals. She and Jake headed toward a table with two open places.

  Toemeka sat between two soldiers and Jake sat across from her. She took a bite of margo. It was nicely seasoned, but the simple fare made her miss Jaipar’s elaborate dishes made by palace chefs.

  “I was surprised to see you in the landing bay,” Jake said. “When you didn’t return to Jelmur after Samrat Condor’s air fleet attacked, I was sure you’d resigned.”

  “I took a leave of absence.”

  “Why didn’t you go back on active duty sooner and come to Alandra’s aid? Jelmur was your home for seven yours. I thought you loved your new country.”

  “I do. I wanted to go to Alandra, but . . .” She thought of her argument with Michio. He’d been against her returning to the Coalition base when he’d realized she was pregnant. But she couldn’t tell Jake that, since it was against regulations for a pregnant woman to be on active duty. And she had no intention of being removed from active duty just when Condor’s air fleet was about to strike Borko.

  Jake waited expectantly for a response.

  “I’ve been working at a secret refugee dome where my skills as a scientist were needed to build an addition with so many refugees coming in from Alandra.”

  His brow wrinkled in puzzlement; he hadn’t touched his food. “That seemed more important? You’re a trained combat pilot. You can dogfight with the best of them. Erling’s parents took you in and loved you like one of their own daughters. Didn’t you want to fight for them?”

  “I wanted to be there, but couldn’t.”

  “Why? You swore revenge on Samrat Condor after his troops murdered your family. You trained to be an agent so you could join the battle against him. But when his air fleet bombed Coalition headquarters, killing many of your friends, you didn’t return to fight. I don’t get it.”

  Toemeka’s face flushed with guilt and a familiar wave of grief clutched her heart. She still woke up screaming with nightmares from the day soldiers killed her family. She found it ironic that Jake understood what drove her better than her husband. “Can we discuss this in private?” she asked, aware that everyone near them at the table was looking at her.

  He nodded, suddenly cognizant of the attention their conversation had drawn. He began to eat and she took a bite of her now-cold meat.

  Jake finishing chewing and said, “Breezy and Sharma will be arrested if the occupying army finds out they once worked for the Coalition—and are now working for the Resistance. In fact, Erling’s whole family could be arrested and executed. So could mine for that matter.”

  Toemeka’s breath caught in her throat, riddled with anxiety for them. “No one on Jelmur would ever report them.”

  “You’d be surprised what people will do for food, money or power.”

  “How are they doing?”

  “Surviving. Did Erling tell you Sharma’s fiancé Connor was killed?”

  Toemeka nodded.

  “She’s retreated from life. She’s a ghost of her former self. Shattered. Fragile.”

  Toemeka thought of losing Michio and her chest tightened. She could understand Sharma’s pain. “And your family?”

  “My parents are all right so far. My kid brother enlisted. He’s on this starship.”

  “He’s only sixteen!”

  “Just turned seventeen. He’s old enough.” Jake leaned closer. “So was he worth it?”

  She was caught off guard. Was he referring to Michio? “Was who worth what?”

  “The guy you married. Was he worth giving up your country and friends for?”

  “I didn’t give up anything. I’m here, aren’t I?”

  He held her gaze with his compelling navy-blue eyes rimmed with thick lashes. “You gave me up.”

  “Don’t blame that on me!” She realized she’d raised her voice when the neighbors on either side of them turned to stare at her again. She and Jake were providing a good show.

  “I made a mistake.” Jake’s eyes pleaded with her to understand. “You threw away our relationship for one stupid mistake. You never even gave me a chance to explain.”

  “There wasn’t anything to explain. I didn’t want to be with a man I couldn’t trust.” Too upset to eat, she grabbed her tray and dumped it on a conveyor belt on the way out.

  Jake rounded the table and came after her. Once he’d caught up with her in the hallway he said, “She didn’t mean anything to me.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have slept with her.”

  “You can’t really love this guy. You only knew him a month before you married him.”

  She bristled with anger at his insensitivity. “How dare you! Michio is a wonderful man and I love him deeply.”

  “You married him on the rebound. You’re still in love with me.”

  Toemeka turned and faced him. “You arrogant ass! The only feeling I have toward you is anger.”

  “You wouldn’t be angr
y if you didn’t care.”

  She heard the pain in his voice and replied, “No, I’m angry because you won’t respect that I’m married and love my husband.” She spun away and headed for her cabin.

  Jake didn’t follow.

  Her head was pounding. She shouldn’t care what Jake thought or said, but she did. They’d been close friends for seven years and lovers for the last three of those years. She hadn’t wanted to start a new relationship so soon after breaking up with Jake, but she’d fallen in love with Michio while they were working to free Jaipar. Michio was the most amazing, dynamic man she’d ever met. Her team’s orders were to return immediately to Alandra. Just before their spacecraft was about to depart, Michio arrived at the ship and asked her to marry him. Though torn, she decided to take a leave of absence from the Coalition and stay with Michio. War separated people and she didn’t want to risk never seeing him again.

  She couldn’t explain all that to Jake. What right did he have to be critical anyway? He was the one who cheated on her!

  The next morning, Toemeka sleepily reached out for Michio. The sheet was cold and she remembered she was stuck on a starship until the Coalition gave Commander Quintary orders to fly to planet Borko. She missed waking up beside Michio. They’d been separated more than together in the short time they’d been married.

  The other women sharing the cabin were already gone; she’d overslept. In fact, she’d slept so heavily she hadn’t even heard them leave.

  She felt revitalized. As was often the case, the second trimester of her pregnancy was easier than the first trimester. No more morning sickness or dizziness. She climbed out of her bunk and dressed in one of her new everyday uniforms, then headed to the mess hall. After a quick breakfast, she went to the computer station she’d been assigned to. Jake and the ten other analysis team members were already working at computers in the relatively small room.

  She crossed over to Jake to get her assignment, annoyed that Commander Quintary made him team leader. She wasn’t ready to face Jake after their argument. “What’s my assignment?”