His

by Fiona Murphy

  Content to simply hold her, I run my hand through her long, silky hair as I wonder why this time with Regina was the best I’ve ever had. There have been many women, so many I’ve lost track. It isn’t something I’m proud of. I never looked at women as notches—it was usually the other way around. Women who knew who I was thought it was a thrill to fuck me. I’d had rough, dirty, filthy sex, a few times I was positive I’d never have it better.

  Yet nothing came close to what I just experienced with Regina. Christ, to call it sex, fucking even was blasphemous—but wouldn’t it also be wrong to call it making love when it couldn’t be? I shiver at the mere thought of it. This marriage, I’ll do everything I can to make it work. It will, it can, without love. Without such a messy, fucked-up emotion, that would do no good to either of us and only cause pain.

  I care about Regina. I want to make her happy. When she’s upset it fucks with me. The tears she cried last night, fuck, I wanted to break the world down around me. I’ll do everything in my power to never see her cry again.

  If she thinks she’s in love with me it will only make things worse. If I do something stupid like fall in love with her then we’re both lost. I can’t be that weak, give up my control, my power. No. I need it, I need it to keep the both of us safe. My world is too dangerous to become weak enough to fall in love.

  18

  Regina

  I wake up to the sound of the shower in the bathroom. The door is open. Carefully, I sit up. A small shiver goes through me at all the aches and tingling running through me. Wow, eyes rolling in the back of my head, check and double check.

  A glance at the clock on the side of the bed tells me it’s almost five in the morning. Hm, poor Dominic’s schedule is all off. With the ceremony yesterday during the time he was usually asleep.

  I’m drawn to the shower, not wanting to be in bed alone a minute longer. With only one step inside the large bathroom, I feel Dominic’s eyes on me. The shower is big enough for four people, with a rain showerhead hanging over the middle of it and a row of body jets. He opens the shower door with a knowing smile. Stepping into the shower, I go down on my knees without a word.

  Dominic sighs as I take him into my hands. I can’t believe all of this was inside me. Mm, so good. I work to get more of him inside my mouth as I tease the underside of his thick head, stroking what I can’t take. I want to go slow only neither of us is able to. It feels like it’s only minutes before Dominic pulls out of my mouth and comes across my chest. He laughs at my annoyance.

  “That was very wasteful, dear husband.” I groan as he pulls me off my knees, into his arms.

  His kiss is slow and thorough. “I have a tendency to be wasteful when I have more than you can ever take in a day, dear wife.”

  “It’s like that, hm?”

  “Very much so.”

  He cleans me with long, languid strokes until I’m begging for more.

  “You want my cock, sweetness?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “I need you to say it. I need you to beg me to fuck you. I need to hear you beg for it. My shy, sweet virgin no more, who couldn’t bring herself to say fuck two weeks ago.”

  A twinge of...I don’t know what hits me at the way he’s chuckling at how I couldn’t bring myself to say the word. No, I hadn’t been able to. He was talking about an us that hadn’t existed at that moment. At the time I still believed I was in love with Richard, still believed I was going to wait until my wedding night with my chosen husband who would make love to me. It would be because of love, not out of— Oh god, Dominic’s fingers are inside me, driving all thought out of me.

  “Say it, sweetness.”

  I give up and into him, needing him any way I could get him. “Fuck me, Dominic. Please fuck me.”

  Dominic growls low in his throat. I don’t have to ask twice. He’s pulling me onto his lap as he sits down on the large wooden bench. Holy shit, he’s deeper, feels bigger in this position. The burning sensation is back in a different way. He’s big, so damn big. My head goes back, his mouth is on my neck, nipping at the skin, sending electric shocks straight to my clitoris.

  “Fuck, you are so gorgeous. That’s it, let go. My cock is right at home where it belongs inside your tight little cunt.”

  Oh god, I might be on top of him, yet it’s Dominic in control. He’s moving me on him as if I’m nothing, his grip on my hips almost painful. Then his mouth captures an aching, tight nipple. Harder and harder he suckles, pushing me farther, closer to the edge. Fucker, he bites hard and I plunge down, down, lost in pleasure as my body shakes from my orgasm. Dominic isn’t there yet; he pounds deep inside me, merciless, drawing out my orgasm until every bone in my body is liquid as he comes deep inside me.

  His arms wind around me, holding me so tight I can barely breathe. We’re like that for so long I lose track of time, then somehow I fall asleep.

  I wake up wrapped in Dominic’s arms. Oh what a wonderful way to wake up. He’s so beautiful. His smile when he sees me looking at him is as stunning as the sun, those dimples cause a twisting low in my tummy.

  “Good morning, dear wife.” He runs a hand through my hair. “How are you feeling? Sorry, I got a little carried away in the shower.”

  Blushing, I shake my head. “I liked you getting carried away. I feel good.”

  “How good?” His eyebrows go up in question.

  I run a hand over his chest, so gorgeous. “Very, very good.”

  Rolling me beneath him, he licks at my neck as he slides inside me. I moan at how amazing he feels.

  “Thank fuck you’re going to make the perfect little wife. Gorgeous, docile, loves my cock almost as much as I do. I love the way you love my cock, sweetness. As if that weren’t enough, you have the sweetest, juiciest little cunt that will open wide whenever I need to fuck you.”

  It’s the moment in the shower all over again. I have no idea why it feels like a slap in the face. Why his words make me feel dirty. I’m some easy whore willing to suck and fuck on his schedule, when he wants.

  I stiffen beneath him. He doesn’t notice as he continues to move inside me. Damn it, I hate the way I’m pissed at him, yet my body betrays me by responding to the pleasure he causes by moving inside me. Gritting my teeth, I fight my body. Docile? Fuck him.

  Finally, he notices. “Regina?”

  Swallowing against the painful lump in my throat, I look past him. “Just get it over with already. I hardly need all the running commentary.”

  He goes still for so long I almost break down to look at him. “As you wish.” The words come out of him with an air of boredom. Dominic pulls out of me, turns me over, and enters me from behind in one fierce hard stroke. He fucks me, hard, fast, in a way I never thought he would.

  It’s animalistic, he’s so rough. There’s no sound but the meeting of our bodies coming together. I don’t even hear him breathing. Too fast, just as I’m beginning to climb to my orgasm, he comes with a grunt. In the next second he pulls out of me and is gone. I slump onto the bed in a quivering mass as I try to process what just happened.

  How could he do that? I squeeze my eyes tight against the tears that fall. From far away I hear a door slam closed.

  ***

  Dominic

  Closing my eyes, I take another swallow of scotch. It’s my third glass. It doesn’t help. I don’t know if there is another scotch in my club or all of Chicago that will allow me to forget what happened. Kenny, my chef, comes through the doors from the kitchen. When he spots me his eyes go wide.

  “Hey, Boss, wasn’t expecting you here. You okay?”

  I nod, checking my watch. It’s been almost an hour since I left the room and Regina. Taking my glass with me, I go upstairs.

  In my office, I swallow the rest of my scotch. I throw the glass against the wall, watching it break with satisfaction. As badly as I want to, I can’t get drunk. There’s still the stupid fucking breakfast to get through, where I should be now. Fuck, I look down at the tuxedo from yesterd
ay. I’d been too pissed to do anything more than pick up my clothes from the floor.

  I need another shower to wash off what I just did.

  As I dress on autopilot, I turn over the last few hours, wondering how it went so wrong. What had I said, done? Why? She had been right with me, as desperate for me as I was for her. Was I wrong? Was it all in my head? I hear her words soaked with disdain all over again. They pound into my brain again and again with the velocity of a nine-millimeter, just get it over with.

  I’ve fucked roughly to the point I knew I was leaving the woman in pain. Yet, I had never touched a woman in anger. Never fucked a woman in anger. Until Regina spit those words at me. For a moment I was blind with rage. The only reason I didn’t get violent was because I was deep inside her. Feeling her all around me pulled me back from the brink, but it didn’t save me, save us.

  I had been within seconds of coming. My balls were tight, ready to explode. All I wanted to do was pull out of her and walk away, only my body wouldn’t allow it. Then there was the edge of me that needed to answer her. Needed to give her exactly what she said she wanted. She wanted me to get it over with. Fine, I’d do just that.

  The moment I finished, regret crashed down on me. How could I have done that to her, to us? I was supposed to protect Regina from this world and herself. It didn’t matter what she said. I’ll never understand why she said it, but she sure as fuck didn’t mean it. She might have the body of a woman; it didn’t change the fact she was only twenty-two and didn’t know, understand what the hell she was saying and asking for. All over again it hits me, twenty-two years old, she didn’t know better but I did. Fuck.

  My phone goes off with a text. For once I’m glad at the way it pulls me out of the fucked-up questions running through my head. It’s Vincent wondering where I am. I respond I’ll be there in ten.

  Walking into the ballroom, I see it’s much smaller than the ballroom from yesterday. There’s only about a hundred men from the family here along with their women. Perfect timing, those goddamn sheets are being shown off by Johnny.

  I’m going to throw a punch at the next fucker who smacks me on the back. Champagne is flowing already. I take the glass I’m handed and swallow it without a second of appreciation for the fact it’s a five-hundred-dollar bottle.

  Johnny is in conference with Pop and Carlo, all of them looking smug. I’m not in the mood for their asses right now and take a seat with my crew at their table. Even though the last thing I want to do is eat, I need something to soak up the liquor. Things are winding down when Johnny calls me over to him. I can’t avoid him.

  I take a seat next to him. “What?”

  A frown. “I thought you’d be in a better mood. What did she do?”

  “Nothing, don’t worry about it. She isn’t your concern anymore. She is my woman.”

  “Regina needs a firm hand. You can’t let her get away with anything.”

  “You don’t know shit about what Regina needs. Don’t fucking start with me. I’ll handle my wife the way I see fit.”

  The bastard pounds the table. “I—oh.” He clutches his chest and goes down on his face.

  All hell breaks loose.

  ***

  Regina

  It’s been almost three hours since Dominic left the room, and almost two hours since I managed to climb out of bed and get dressed. A few minutes after I stumbled out of bed, wrapping a towel around me, two twittering idiots came to get the sheets. I left them to it, hiding in the bathroom until they were gone. The words to ask them where Dominic was were trapped in my throat.

  I check my phone for the hundredth time, still nothing. We’re supposed to leave Chicago in two hours. A honeymoon for a week in Paris, because Dominic told me I could go anywhere I wanted. He never even teased me about picking Paris. I suggested it haltingly. He nodded and said if it was what I wanted, then we would go. Like everything else I have said I wanted, he didn’t hesitate to give it to me.

  Stupid, the tears start all over again. Why did I say it? Why did he say those things? Why had it felt so dirty, when only yesterday I had been sure I didn’t believe dirty was wrong? What changed inside me, had me twisting in shame that I thought was long gone? The knock on the door startles me.

  “Regina, it’s Vincent. I need to take you to the hospital. It’s Johnny, it looks bad.”

  The next twenty minutes pass in a blur. Vincent drives like he’s trying out for Formula 1, zipping in and out of lanes. He drops me off at the entrance to the hospital, telling me Johnny is on the fourth floor and the room number. Dominic is with him.

  I make it to the elevator only to see it fill before I can get on. Damn it. I wait until it closes and punch the button again. I look to the other elevator, it’s on the seventh floor. Screw this, the stairs are off to the side. I can make it up four floors. I’m only on the fifth step when the heavy door is slammed against the concrete wall.

  Surprise at the sound has me looking back, and it’s Richard. I’m plunged into ice-cold fear at the sight of him. He slams the door closed behind him. “Darling, you don’t look pleased to see me. What, no kiss?”

  I back away up the steps. Everything inside me screams to run from him. It’s clear he’s been up for days. His hair is a mess. The clothes he’s wearing are wrinkled and even from ten feet away he reeks. He follows me with menace in his smile. I make it to the landing, where the words “second floor” are emblazoned on the back of the door.

  “Richard, what are you doing here?” I have no idea what to say or do. All I know is I need to buy time for Dominic to find me.

  “I came to save you, darling.” Mocking, he tilts his head as his eyes go wide with exaggerated surprise. “You swore you love me. Don’t you remember? Becoming my wife was your every dream come true.” He closes his eyes as he shakes his head. “How could you let another man touch you?” he screams at me.

  My legs give out from under me. I fall against the wall.

  “You did it, didn’t you? You spread your legs like the whore I always knew you were deep down. You loved it, didn’t you?”

  Shaking my head, I wonder how long it’s going to take Vincent to get to Dominic and tell him I should be there already. Dominic, where are you?

  19

  Dominic

  The doctors and nurses have cleared out of the room. There isn’t anything else they can do with Johnny’s refusal and a do-not-resuscitate order on file. They were giving us privacy to say our goodbyes. Where the fuck is Regina? It doesn’t matter how much she thinks she hates him; if she misses the end she’ll never forgive herself. I check my phone to see if I missed a call or text from Vincent explaining why the fuck he isn’t here with Regina yet.

  “You need to get me back to New York, Dom. I can’t die here. Mama will be pissed if I die here with her in New York.”

  “Then she should have come to her granddaughter’s wedding. You aren’t going to die. You aren’t fucking up my honeymoon,” I say without heat. We both know he’s dying, and my honeymoon was already fucked up without him dying.

  Johnny grabs my hand, his grip tighter than I would have thought he had the strength for. “Take care of my girl. I picked you for Regina because you were the son I always wanted. You came to me at fifteen already a man when you should have still been a boy, and demanded I give you what you were due.”

  He coughs and the machine he’s hooked up to sputters. “You worked your ass off, made me proud I gave you your entry when it should have been your father. The day Regina was born, she came into the world screaming at the top of her lungs, demanding to be heard. She almost died but she fought the same way you fought. I knew then, she was meant for you.” The machine sputters, his grip loosens on me. “I knew it, Dom.”

  The machine sputters again. His eyes close. The machine flatlines. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. He wasn’t a good man; he wasn’t a bad man either. Johnny had existed in that gray area somewhere in between like so much of the world did.

  From beh
ind me the door opens, it’s a nurse. Her eyes filled with sympathy, she looks to Johnny. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

  I shake my head. “My wife, his daughter, she should be on her way.”

  Nodding, she closes the door.

  Pulling out my phone, I text Vincent asking where the fuck he is.

  The door opens with Vincent shaking his head in disbelief. “I’ve been here, Boss. I dropped Regina at the entrance almost five minutes ago.”

  No, I go cold. Had I fucked up enough for her to run?

  Vincent answers the question I didn’t realize I had asked. “I watched her go through the doors to the hospital. She wasn’t going to run anywhere but to be at Johnny’s side.”

  I bring up her tracker. Regina is in the hospital, less than five hundred feet from me. Relief shoots through me, but where is she? I follow the tracker—it’s taking me to the stairwell. Damn it, did she fall? Is she hurt? I push open the door then go still.

  Taylor is there, yelling at her.

  Vincent hears it. I motion him to go down to the first floor. The ice slips over me, running through my veins. A quick rundown, both my knife and gun are on me, right where they should be. Thank fuck for dressing on autopilot today. I lose my jacket, then undo my cuff links, dropping them in my pocket, rolling up my sleeves to just under the knife. Now I’m ready, I enter the stairwell, careful to close the door with as little sound as I can manage. I make it down one set of stairs, hugging the wall, then another. That’s as far as I get.

  I freeze at the sight of Regina in Taylor’s arms. A gun is at her head. His smile is demented.

  “Look what I got, Dom. Tell me, I’m dying to know, how was she? I wanted to bust her cherry so bad. You’re going to owe me extra for doing it first. I’m thinking a virgin runs for around fifty K on the open market. This virgin, though, she was special—all Catholic, and I wanted to make her dirty. I wanted to make it filthy for her, hear her scream in pain while she bled all over my cock. You owe me for taking that from me.”