If the World Was Ending. J.P. Saxe and Julia Michaels.
Well, damn. Looks like my pop music found a way to bleed into Walker’s psyche after all.
The stars twinkle overhead and this big, burly man holds me in his arms, pouring a melody into me, soothing my soul.
My pulse evens out. My lungs open with each inhale to welcome his manly scent and on each exhale, a little bit of my fear dissipates.
The moment stretches on between us. I wrap my arms around him and cling with all my might as we sway in the field with the grass soft and cool beneath our bare feet. It feels like there’s not another person around for miles. I don’t ever want him to let me go.
The song’s lyrics pour through my mind, promises of having each other’s back no matter what. In life’s darkest moments. Even if we’re not meant to be together. I feel those lyrics in my bones.
It almost makes me forget my predicament. Almost.
I groan and softly bang my forehead on his hard pecs. “I asked you if there was a history of twins in your family…” I laugh and whimper at the same time.
Walker chuckles lightly under his breath. “And I said I wasn’t sure.” Of course he wasn’t. I’m betting he doesn’t know much about the medical history of his biological father’s side. “It’ll be fine, P,” he says soothingly. “It’ll be amazing.”
We sway some more and his hands move up and down my back. It feels so good.
“You know I'll be here for you. You know that.” He whispers into my hair.
“I know…” I press my lips to his chest, right where his heart is pounding hard. “I’m so lucky to be your best friend, Walker.”
The man cups my jaw and I look up into those dark, mesmerizing eyes. He swallows hard. “You’re not just my best friend, Penn.” His heart pounds against me like it’ll beat its way out of his chest. “You’re so much more. So much.” He holds his breath and blurts out, “I want to be with you.”
The Earth stops spinning. The rules of gravity cease to apply. The world slips from beneath my feet. “You want to be with me?”
His eyes close for a second and then they spring open again, shining with determination. “Yes, Princess.” His shoulders rise when he takes a huge inhalation. “I want to be with you. You and the babies. I want us all to be a family. And if you don’t want that, I—”
I leap on him and my mouth is on his in an instant.
Our lips move and dance together, our very own choreography to our very own song.
The kiss is tender, slow, deliberate. Walker pours himself fully into it. I give him every last drop of air in my lungs and when I can’t breathe anymore, I pull away. I look up into the face of this perfect man. “What would happen if I asked you to take me inside right now?”
“I’d kiss you.” He smiles with a boyish mischief in his eyes. “I’d hold you real tight and I'd kiss you till your knees went weak and then…”
“And then…?” I prod.
“And then I’d take you to my bed and I'd fuck you all night long.”
My pulse is a fast, arrhythmic mess. I lace my fingers through his. “Then, take me inside, Walker. Take me to your bed right now.”
44
Walker
There's no turning back now. I can’t deny it.
I’m in love with her…
We’re standing toe-to-toe in my bedroom with starlight coming in through the open curtains. Penny’s in front of me flushed, disheveled, perfect.
She runs her tiny hands up my chest, taking the fabric of my T-shirt into her grip. I lift my arms so she can pull it off completely. She gets closer and dots her perfect lips all across my chest. I shiver.
I gently release her hair from her messy bun. Now, her glitter-red tresses are framing her cheeks and her narrow shoulders. I take her face between my hands. My heart blasts against my ribs over and over.
Her eyes are on me, staring with so much intensity in those emerald irises. It’s like she’s trying to peel me back in layers.
When I tip her chin up, our lips eagerly meet again. I lick into her mouth and her tongue finds mine as her small hands move up my muscled chest to clasp the back of my neck.
This kiss is electric. Kissing her always is. I could live a hundred years and never grow immune to the thrill of kissing Penny Merlini. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
“Oh, Walker…” Her knees falter and I catch her against my chest.
I’m in love with her…
And God, I want to hear her say she loves me, too. But if she needs time, I’ll give it. If she needs convincing, I’ll work at it like a professional career. The woman I’ve loved my whole life is pregnant with two of my babies and there’s never been a better time to stop punking out and start being a man.
I shared my deepest secret with her, the thing that’s been holding me back my whole life, the truth about my paternity, and she didn’t back away, she didn’t change, she didn’t look at me differently or make me feel weak for being afraid to come clean sooner. Instead, she made herself available, opened up that big heart of hers and bathed me with understanding and affection. And that’s what gave me the confidence to take a risk and reveal another foundational part of me—this craving I’ve always carried around for her.
My hands are shaking as I undo the buttons of her shirt one by one. My shirt, actually. But at this point, anything that belongs to me is hers. My shirt, my home, the air in my fucking lungs. I’d give it all to her.
I’m in love with her…
It feels like there’s a tractor on my chest, barricading the words inside. I want to say it. I want to tell her. I don’t know how I’ll survive another day without letting her know. But talking about my feelings has never been easy for me.
My body presses against hers, walking her backward to the bed. In a heartbeat, I have her flat on her back, her open legs beckoning me closer.
I peel off her tights and panties. She’s dripping wet and I want to feel her pussy throbbing for me. Two of my fingers slide into her at once. I curl, roughly grazing the sensitive packet of nerves that drives her crazy every time.
Bending, I press the flat of my tongue to the base of her throat, only to drag it up the long, elegant column of her neck. She tastes like ice cream in a heatwave, her skin coming alive in a wave of goosebumps beneath my touch. Moaning, she locks her arms around my waist and pulls me down so our bodies hover close together.
She reaches between us for my cock and slides her hand down the pulsing length. Angling my erection, she lifts her hips and swallows me into the warmth of her channel.
Blood rockets into my brain, obliterating my common sense. I just can’t hold back anymore. “Penny, I love…” The words leave me quietly, evaporating in the dark room.
She stares at me with a tentative gaze. Her face tells me that she’s scared, unsure, hesitant. The edges of my thudding heart crumble.
She doesn’t love me back. I should have kept my mouth shut. I’ve fucked everything up.
But determination surges in my spirit. No, I’m not giving up. I’m done being scared.
I move inside of her, slow but hard, as deep as I can take it. Our eyes stay locked on each other. “Penn, I just need you to understand how I feel. I…I love…” Why am I struggling so much with these damn words?
“Shhh…” She lays a soft finger over my lips, silencing me. She looks as afraid as I feel. “We don’t have to do this. Not now. Please. Just…just fuck me.”
She arches off the bed to capture my mouth in a searing kiss. Her arms lock behind my neck. Her wet pussy hugs my cock tight.
I dig my fingers into her hips and I rut. I thrust hard. I bare down. I give her all of me. I don’t stop until her jaw is hanging loose and her body is clenching all around me. Her eyes flare with the heat of something volcanic as she shakes with her orgasm. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
My body goes tight from head to toe and I erupt into her hot pussy like lava.
I’m in lo
ve with her…
Maybe I’m not worthy of her. I probably never will be. But the woman is carrying my babies—plural—and I’ll be damned if I sit around watching her live a half-lifed life because I’m too scared to take a chance on loving her.
I’m not giving up on Penny now.
45
Penny
Lunch bag over my shoulder, I weave through the crowd, smiling at familiar faces. It’s been a while since I’ve been on this side of town, and it’s nice to see a few of my old regulars from the bar. The nice ones who never tried groping me, that is.
Walker’s got a booth set up here tonight, just like he does every other Saturday, selling his prized produce at Crescent Harbor’s farmer’s market.
It’s not a huge market, like in some of the larger cities, but they’ve got the best veggies, raw honey, and homemade cinnamon rolls in all of Illinois here. I’ve already eaten dinner tonight, but the sugary scent of the fresh-made pastries makes me hungry again. I’ll have to grab a half dozen before we leave. Or a dozen. These can double as both breakfast and dessert, of course. Plus, I’m eating for three so I definitely get a pass.
I rode into town with one of the farm hands who was leaving the farm the same time I was. That way, when I leave, I can just ride home with Walker. I want to spend some alone time with him to feel things out.
Last night, my friend uttered one magical sentence that flipped my world on it’s head. I want to be with you.
His announcement came totally out of left field and shocked the hell out of me. In the heat of the moment, I jumped on it and gobbled it up. I dove into him, heart-first and gave my body to him on a platter. But I have to be careful. I can’t rely on just my emotions. I have to use my head. As much as I want him to be my man, I have to prioritize my children’s best interests.
The timing of his confession has me sort of skeptical. I spent a lifetime pining away over the guy and he’s never overtly made a romantic gesture toward me. But last night, in the middle of my full-on meltdown over the fact that I’m carrying twins, he suddenly blurts out that he wants me?
I don’t doubt his good intentions for one second—I know he’d never deliberately mislead me—but I do question whether he’s confusing his fierce protectiveness over me with a real, true, actual desire to be my man. I mean—he couldn’t even bring himself to say that he loves me. Heaven knows he tried to force the words out but they just wouldn’t come.
My best friend’s instinct is always to swoop in and save me when he sees that I’m in trouble. Well, I can’t blindly let him play hero this time. If he’s pursuing me, I need to know that he’s pursuing me for the right reasons. Just a few months ago, Walker told me point blank that he’s never wanted to have a family.
I love him too much to drag him into a relationship he doesn’t really want to be in.
I find his booth smack dab in the middle of things. My heart pounds at the sight of him. Hidden in the crowd, I watch with a grin as he slowly counts out a customer’s change.
When the customer walks away, I sneak up behind him and cover his eyes. “Surprise!” I say at the shell of his ear.
He chuckles, turning to face me. “Oh, you think you’re sneaky?”
“Admit it—I got you good.” I grin into his face.
“Yeah, you got me.” He shrugs a big shoulder, his eyes twinkling happily. “But I’m gonna get you back. I hope you know that.”
I roll my eyes. “I wish you would,” I say daringly. “You’re all talk. Your threats never go anywhere.”
He grunts.
My breath hitches when his hands slide around my middle, and he captures my mouth between those delicious lips of his. The kiss turns fiery hot in seconds.
We’ve done plenty of this alone in his cabin, but this public display of affection is new for us. I feel curious eyes pointed our way, but I don’t dare break out of his embrace. This man owns me. Body, mind and soul.
So if he wants to kiss the shit out of me right in the town’s square, then so be it.
Let everyone watch.
Let everyone talk.
When he releases me, Walker immediately drops to his knees in front of me. He runs his strong fingers over my belly before bracing his palms on either side. He says his hello’s to the babies.
I yank his cowboy hat off his head and slip it onto mine. “I’ll just wait until you guys are finished,” I quip. I’m just teasing. Secretly, I love it when he showers my belly with attention. It makes me feel like I’m melting from the inside out.
Smirking, he stands to his full height. He plants one more kiss on my forehead, then he finally steps back and beams at me. “You were saying?”
I roll my eyes and lift my arm in front of me, holding out the small cooler. “I brought you dinner. Just an avocado and turkey sandwich.”
Over the past few weeks, I’ve gotten used to eating dinner with Walker every evening at the cabin. It felt weird eating alone tonight, and I knew I just couldn’t stay away. I missed him. Plus, this superhuman man works more than twelve hours a day before coming home and tending to my every need at night. He needs a little sustenance. And he deserves to have someone taking care of him, too.
“Mmm. Sounds delicious.” He grabs the lunch bag and thanks me with another quick kiss. Then, he stalks off to the pile of empty wooden crates at a distance where he sits to devour his meal.
While he eats, I slide behind the counter to help him with the market. He won’t admit it, but he hates doing math in his head so I slyly take over that part of his evening. When he’s done eating, he comes back to the vegetable stand. He handles bagging up the customer orders and I handle the money.
I like the way this feels. Him and me, doing this together. It sort of feels like we’re a team. Maybe we can be. I just need to make sure he’s in this for the right reasons.
When we’re almost sold out of corn, Walker tells me he’ll be right back. He heads off to his trailer to grab a few more bags of produce.
As I enjoy the view of the sexy farmer jogging away, a familiar-looking older gentleman approaches the booth. “Well, hello, miss.”
“Hey. How are you doing?” I greet Chest Hair/Moustache Combo with a smile.
“It all looks so good. What do you recommend?” As he glances around at the options displayed on the table, the ruggedly handsome man scratches the bushy chest hair peeking out at the collar of his shirt.
Oh boy. I stifle down a laugh.
Regardless, he’s still handsome—in a ‘charming, old guy’ kind of way—just like he was the night I met him at the bar.
I don’t know a whole lot about the different vegetable options, so thankfully, it turns out that the man is more interested in conversation than buying.
As I serve the steady trickle of customers, we make small talk—mostly about his interest in getting a date with Aunt Lucille. I let the man down easy. He seems lonely, and I’m happy to chat, but I need him to understand—him and my aunt? Not gonna happen.
Eventually, he gives up and I sense our conversation coming to an end. His eyes zero in on my face. His expression is almost wistful. He smiles. “You’re positively glowing, miss. Congratulations on your pregnancy.”
I reach down to rub a hand over my belly. “Thank you.”
“You and your husband must be so excited about the baby. Such an exciting time,” the man says, gazing at me softly.
Why do I suddenly get the impression that he’s fishing for information?
Before I have the chance to correct the old man, Walker comes stomping up behind me. “What the fuck is going on here?” His voice booms in the air, loud enough to draw attention from the vendors nearby.
I nearly leap out of my skin, but he’s not glaring at me. He’s shooting daggers at the poor man in front of us. Chest Hair/Moustache Combo stumbles backward with his hands raised.
Around us, the bustling crowd seems to slow to a stop as they watch.
“Walker,” I scold, gripping his bicep and trying to p
lacate him.
He lightly shakes me off his arm. “Don’t you talk to her! Ever!” he continues to yell at the man, giving zero shits that he’s causing a scene. “Get the hell out of here. And don’t come back!”
Shamefaced, the man mumbles an apology and scrambles away. People around us begin moving again as if they didn’t witness anything out of the ordinary. But I’m left standing here in shock.
Walker is still hate-glaring in the direction of the old man, watching him until he disappears in the distance. The look on his face is borderline scary.
“What the hell was that?” I ask, planting both hands on my hips.
Walker doesn’t answer me. He busies himself with unloading the corn he just grabbed from his truck, rearranging everything on the tables in front of us. It’s pointless, though. We definitely don’t have customers now. No one is interested in buying angry veggies.
“Are you really gonna turn into that guy?” I sneer. “Are you gonna go crazy every time another man talks to me?”
He squints at me over his back . “Jeez—Penn, I’m not like that and you know it. I’m not a petty man who gets jealous over the smallest things. You know the only reason I’d blow up like that is if you’re in real danger. Like at the bar that night. You know that.”
My tense shoulders loosen. I do know it. So something serious must be going on right now. I just have no clue what it is.
He turns back to the table and I’m left speaking to his big, tense shoulders. “What’s wrong?” I try again, softer this time. Gripping his arm in both hands, I pivot him to face me. “Walker. Talk to me. Please,” I beg. But I recognize those eyes. He’s shutting down on me. He’s shutting me out.
“Nothing,” he grumbles. “Stop pushing it, Penn.” The pain in his eyes makes me back down. “I have to go turn in my permit for next week.” He doesn’t look in my direction. He just stalks off, leaving me alone at his booth.
Mister Baby Daddy (Bad Boys in Love Book 3) Page 22