This is all somewhat calculated, I’ll admit: since arriving in our age, Magnus hasn’t seen modern people engaged in any sort of rough-and-tumble, and I wanted to impress upon him that we as a people have not gone entirely soft. Message delivered; after the game we went down to the field and chatted with some of the players (I am introducing him as a recently arrived exchange student from Dagestan), and afterwards in the car he made appreciative comments about their size and strength and grit.
Having got that message across, I then proceeded to take him to Walmart en route home.
Imagine a man from the thirteenth century suddenly plucked into the twenty-first . . . and introduced to Walmart of all places!
Beyond the total astonishment of modern life in general, the cornucopia of goods clearly left him gobsmacked, as the Brits say. He has had a childish fixation on lidocaine ever since the dermatologist used it on him, and was delighted to find that there was an entire section of the store stocked not only with that but many other magical potions as well. I showed him a cordless drill—and then the expressions on his face! He almost tired me out with his naive enthusiasm—we covered the entire store. Not just the obvious things like furniture and clothes, but sports equipment, dinnerware . . . He was delighted with things we take for granted—insect repellent! He loved the insect repellent! As well as canned goods; chili mix; hairspray. A refreshing reminder of how amazing the world we live in really is.
If you ever want to be reminded how extraordinary modern life is, if you ever need to slap yourself out of the complacency of taking electricity or Teflon for granted . . . come take an Anachron out on an orientation tour.
Love to Bess and the family. Get your butt up here some time soon for a round of golf. Don’t worry about the bugs—we have insect repellent!
Cheers,
Blev
Post by Macy Stoll on
“Announcements” ODIN channel
DAY 1920 (31 OCTOBER, YEAR 5)
To all employees and contractors:
This is just a final reminder that we are closing early this afternoon at 3 p.m. to make preparations for the annual Halloween party. For those of you who’ve joined DODO in the past year—and I know there are many of you—this is traditionally our biggest social event of the year, comparable to what the Christmas party would be in a less culturally and spatiotemporally diverse organization. In accordance with our usual protocols, we need to make special preparations to welcome your family members and SOs without inadvertently leaking classified information. Thanks to all who have volunteered to help out with that work—by now you should know your assignments.
On a practical level, this means that all access to the basement bio-containment/ODEC complex will be sealed off at 3 p.m. sharp, and a rotating security detail assigned there (we want to make sure DOSECOPS gets to enjoy the festivities too!). The main site for the party will be the cafeteria. Please be sure you have removed all documents of a potentially sensitive nature from that area. We’ll also be allowing visitors to tour the Chronotron on a half-hourly basis, and so IT personnel need to make sure that all documents are stowed away in locked drawers—this includes Post-it notes on monitors and desktops, etc.
Halloween decorations will go up in the cafeteria starting at 4 p.m. and we’ll have the usual trick-or-treat facilities for the little ones.
Also at 4 p.m. we’ll have a briefing in the big conference room for Anachrons who are unfamiliar with our traditions around Halloween and may need some guidance as to what is and is not appropriate behavior—I know this has been a concern in the past, based on some of the anecdotes and incident reports that have been shared with me. Remember, our medical staff would like to enjoy the evening too—let’s not make them work!
Doors open at 5 p.m. for families and SOs.
As you choose your costumes, please try to keep in mind everything our Diversity Policy has to say about stereotypes surrounding witches. Most of you who work here don’t need to be told this, but every year it seems we have some children who show up in costumes that are offensive to certain members of our staff. Remember, the following costume elements are expressly forbidden:
Pointy hats
Green skin
Warts on nose
Brooms
Anyone who shows up in a potentially offensive costume will be gently redirected to Conference Room 12 where we will have a range of alternative costume choices to choose from.
With your assistance I’m sure we can all look forward to another enjoyable and memorable Halloween party. Have fun, everyone!
TRANSCRIPT
SELECTED RADIO TRAFFIC
ON DODO SECURITY FREQUENCIES
DAY 1920 (HALLOWEEN, YEAR 5)
NOTES:
All content transcribed from recordings made during the evening of Halloween and auto-saved to DODO archives. In the wake of subsequent events, files were salvaged from a secure server by DODO personnel and transferred to the ad hoc GRIMNIR backup system, from which they were later decrypted and transcribed. Repetitive content such as routine comm checks has been redacted for clarity.
OTHER NOTES:
—“BACKHOE” is Secret Service code name for Lieutenant General Octavian K. Frink.
—“STYLUS” is Dr. Roger Blevins.
—“DOSECOPS C4” is the communications officer on duty in the Diachronic Operations Security Ops (DOSECOPS) Command, Control, and Communications Center, the hub for security operations beneath DODO’s Cambridge, MA, headquarters.
—“DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL” is the ranking officer on duty there (at the time of these recordings, Major Isobel Sloane).
—“DOSECOP 1,” “DOSECOP 2,” etc. denote specific security officers on site.
—“USSS 1,” USSS 2,” etc. denote United States Secret Service officers visiting the site as part of BACKHOE’s personal security detail.
15:00:00 DOSECOPS C4: All units, this is a reminder that the facility is now officially closed for the day and transitioning to off-hours security protocols. We’re expecting a number of delivery vehicles in the next two hours at Docks 1 and 2, these will be bringing party supplies. Normal screening procedures apply for all incoming cargo, drivers, and entertainment personnel. Doors open for civilian guests in two hours.
15:37:12 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual. I have just received confirmation that Backhoe is coming to the party. He’ll be coming in from Hanscom, exact arrival time TBD. We will be integrating with his Secret Service detail as needed. Officers on duty at Dock 1 should stand by to close it to all civilian traffic and make it ready to receive Backhoe and his entourage; please acknowledge.
15:37:38 DOSECOP 1: Acknowledged, standing by.
16:05:56 DOSECOPS C4: Two vans are now inbound from MUON Residential Facility carrying a total of nineteen MUONs and three support staff, ETA 16:30. We’ll direct them to Docks 1 and 2. Any officers on patrol in that part of the building should stand by to help check credentials, just to avoid a backup and a lot of annoyed MUONs.
16:23:32 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual. I’ve received confirmation from Backhoe’s Secret Service detail that he is on the ground and in a vehicle. ETA is about 17:30 depending on traffic, will update as I have further information.
16:30:00 DOSECOPS C4: All units, this is a reminder that doors will open for civilian ingress in thirty minutes. Officers on internal patrols, now is the time for you to inspect all surfaces for potentially classified documents. All monitors are to be switched off or placed in secure locked mode with Infosec-compliant screen savers.
16:31:45 DOSECOP 1: Dock 1 here. MUON vans have arrived and are backing into the grade-level ramps at Docks 1 and 2.
16:31:55 DOSECOPS C4: Acknowledged. Have officers standing by the side doors of those vans to offer a hand to disembarking MUONs, we have been warned to expect an abundance of high heels, and some of the ladies are new to that kind of footwear. Don’t want to kick off the party with an injury.
16:32:02 DOSECOP 1: Acknowledged. Standi
ng by with stepstools and strong arms.
16:36:38 DOSECOPS C4: Loading dock detail, sitrep please? Looks on the cameras like there’s quite a bottleneck and some hurt feelings.
16:36:54 DOSECOP 1: Roger that, C4. If you’re watching this on the feed you may have noticed that some of the MUONs’ costumes are, uh . . .
16:37:00 DOSECOPS C4: Stop right there before you get into trouble, officer. Yes, the costumes have been receiving close attention from C4 staff and we are aware of their nature. What is the issue?
16:37:10 DOSECOP 1: Some of them didn’t bring their lanyards and badges because of compatibility issues of an aesthetic or stylistic nature with costumes. Procedures dictate . . .
16:37:20 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: Understood. This is Actual. I am authorizing you to waive procedures and treat the MUONs as civilians for now. No need to write up incident reports or any of that. Visual ID is sufficient. The one in the red shimmery um . . . whatever you call it is gonna have to take her mask off whether she likes it or not.
16:37:31 DOSECOP 1: Roger that, Actual. Speaking of visual ID, we have two in violation of the diversity policy regs.
16:37:40 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: Come again?
16:37:46 DOSECOP 1: Pointy hats and brooms, sir.
16:37:50 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: So, two of the MUONs are attired in a manner that is culturally offensive to MUONs?
16:37:57 DOSECOP 1: According to the regs issued yesterday, yes, sir.
16:38:02 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAl: That’s Ms. Stoll’s problem. Let them in without further delay.
16:50:00 DOSECOPS C4: All units, doors open in ten.
16:50:15 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual. Just an update before all hell breaks loose. Backhoe is still inbound, ETA has been pushed back to 17:45 because he has decided to swing by Stylus’s residence and pick up Stylus and his wife en route. They will all be arriving together. At that time we’ll be clearing Dock 1 for the vehicle carrying Backhoe and Stylus, as well as Dock 2 for the war wagon with Secret Service detail.
16:51:20 DOSECOP 2: Reporting in from Door 1 where we have now two separate minivan loads of costumed rug rats with moms in a high state of combat readiness. They are taking exception to our holding the line on the 1700 hours opening time. Request permission to let them in early.
16:51:30 DOSECOPS C4: Hold the line. We see the moms and concur with your threat assessment. As diversionary tactic we are sending out a juggler on a unicycle. You might want to open the door for him.
16:51:59 DOSECOP 2: Acknowledged, I have unicyclist on visual.
17:00:00 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: Okay to open doors to civilian guests. Officers on patrol, divert to entrance zones and help with any bottlenecks—all credentials need to be checked, no exceptions.
17:01:11 DOSECOPS C4: Door 2 personnel, our audio systems picked up a loud bang followed by a scream, please report.
17:01:25 DOSECOP 3: Roger, that was the guy making the balloon animals. Wiener dog underwent explosive decompression, scared a baby.
17:01:34 DOSECOPS C4: Acknowledged.
17:15:00 DOSECOPS C4: All door units, report with numbers.
17:15:15 DOSECOP 3: Door 2 has admitted 41 with approximately three dozen still waiting for credentials check.
17:15:31 DOSECOP 2: Door 1, 79 in, a dozen waiting.
17:15:40 DOSECOP 4: Door 3, 56 in, maybe two dozen outside.
17:16:02 DOSECOP 1: Uh, C4, no one yet except the MUONs but we are expecting two full buses from the SARF [Supervised Anachron Residential Facility] with an estimated total of 70. Should be here in ten.
17:16:12 DOSECOPS C4: Weren’t they supposed to be in the building by 1600? For the Anachron briefing?
17:16:17 DOSECOP 1: Anachrons and their sense of time.
17:16:26 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual, I want those buses processed fast so we can clear the docks for Backhoe’s vehicles. Any officers on internal patrol, if it looks like the surge is abating at the doors, redirect to the loading docks.
...
17:27:43 DOSECOP 1: Here come the SARF buses. Brace for weirdness.
17:50:15 DOSECOPS C4: Patching Secret Service voice frequencies into local DOSECOPS VOIP network. We should all be on the same channel now, literally.
17:50:21 USSS 1: Backhoe vehicle 1, comm check.
17:50:25 DOSECOPS C4: Acknowledged.
17:50:30 USSS 2: Backhoe vehicle 2, comm check.
17:50:35 DOSECOPS C4: Acknowledged.
17:50:42 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is DOSECOPS C4 Actual welcoming our Secret Service brothers and sisters to Boston. We are tracking you with an ETA of sixty seconds. Officers in civilian clothes are waiting on the street to wave your vehicles in. Loading docks are clear.
17:50:59 USSS 1: Thank you, C4 Actual, Boston drivers have made quite an impression on us, and we are looking forward to working with you and your staff on a safe, sane Halloween party.
17:52:15 USSS 1: C4, I’m out of the vehicle and having a look-see around the dock area. Everything looks nominal but there is one gentleman wearing a Mongol costume having an argument with your door staff . . .
17:52:25 DOSECOPS C4: It’s not a costume.
17:52:29 USSS 1: Come again?
17:52:33 DOSECOPS C4: He actually is a Mongol.
17:52:40 USSS 1: Oh.
17:52:43 DOSECOPS C4: We’ve patched him into an interpreter over a voice link but the conversation is proceeding slowly.
17:52:53 USSS 1: Is that a real archery set he’s carrying? That is my only concern. That, and the fact that he seems agitated. Is it safe for Backhoe to get out of the car? Oh, never mind, Backhoe just got out of the car.
17:53:01 DOSECOPS C4: Who is the Indian chief? Hard to make out on the security feed.
17:53:09 USSS 1: That is Stylus. Repeat, Stylus is dressed as an Indian chief.
17:53:20 USSS 2: On another note, C4, has the shipping container in the adjoining bay been cleared and secured?
17:53:27 DOSECOPS C4: The rusty green one over in Dock 3?
17:53:31 USSS 2: Roger. Just part of our SOP to check and secure any of those within our perimeter.
17:53:40 DOSECOPS C4: Understood. It’s not a shipping container.
17:53:44 USSS 2: Come again, C4?
17:53:52 DOSECOPS C4: The thing in Dock 3 that looks exactly like a rusty green shipping container is something else. Will explain later. It is extremely secure.
17:54:02 USSS 1: As you can see, Backhoe’s entire delegation is out of the vehicle and waiting behind the Mongol, can we have the interpreter tell him to stand aside please so that we can wave our people through?
17:54:07 DOSECOPS C4: Will pass your request on but it might be more prudent to . . .
17:54:11 USSS 1: Never mind, C4, Stylus is gesturing toward the shipping container, telling the others about it.
17:54:17 DOSECOPS C4: ATTO. It’s called an ATTO. The shipping container.
17:54:31 DOSECOP 1: Genghis Khan has cleared door security, we are open for business to welcome Backhoe. Apologies for delay.
17:54:36 USSS 1: Copy that. Stand by.
17:54:42 DOSECOPS C4: As you can see, Backhoe’s delegation is wandering over toward the ATTO.
17:54:55 DOSECOP 1: Is that Backhoe’s costume?
17:54:59 USSS 1: Affirmative.
17:55:06 DOSECOP 1: He’s dressed as . . . a lieutenant general in the United States Army?
17:55:16 USSS 1: Affirmative. He says it’s the only night of the year when he can wear it in Boston and not be recognized.
Diachronicle
DAY 1920 (HALLOWEEN, YEAR 5)
In which witches will be witches
I SHALL NEVER KNOW IF the Halloween party was, from the start, a monstrous distraction created by Gráinne. It’s true that the higher-ups had offered such a masque the previous two years . . . but now I wonder if perhaps Gráinne, in Year 5, did not use an ODEC to go back in time to the same ODEC two years earlier, slip out and work her wiles on Blevins (i.e., induce him to make the Halloween party an annual event), an
d then return to the present day—I mean to say, what was the present day before I was marooned in 1851.
In any case, there was a Halloween party and she used elements of it to her advantage. More specifically, she relied upon it as a diversion so that she could begin to use the ATTO to her advantage.
Have I mentioned the ATTO in these scribblings? In simplest terms it was a portable ODEC. Oda-sensei, with his unending genius, sorted out how to make it both portable and larger than the stationary ODECs in the office: it was the size and shape of a shipping container. Blevins was obsessed with it, a cat with catnip, and grew preoccupied with all the great psychological ops/warfare that could be accomplished with a movable magic machine. Both Tristan and I were obviously hesitant (if the reasons for hesitance weren’t obvious then, they sure as shit are by now!).
Erszebet’s attitude toward the ATTO, and the work that could be done in it, vacillated wildly. After five years she was really fucking sick bored with doing no magic but Sending, and so the possibilities offered by the ATTO intrigued her; on the other hand, she resented going through another series of parlor tricks to demonstrate its capabilities, as she had done with us when we first sprang her from the elder-hostel. I wish I could remember now what Gráinne thought of it—I realize with rueful retrospection that she was playing her cards very close to her vest.
But to the events of that evening: Gráinne and Erszebet had both chosen to get all ironically meta about things mock the contemporary image of witches by wearing green body paint and pointy hats (they claimed they were groupies of Wicked, but I know for a fact that neither of them has ever seen it). Anyhow, put off by the extreme security measures, they failed to show up at the loading dock as the rest of us did, to pay political homage, as Blevins and Frink arrived.
The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. Page 52