Secret Service

by Tom Bradby

  ‘It is, Danny. Thank you. Go to the top of the class.’

  ‘You want me to talk to anyone about it?’

  ‘No. Thank you.’

  Julie came up to join them. ‘It’s the wind,’ Julie replied. ‘It’s so loud.’

  ‘Welcome to Insomniacs Anonymous,’ Danny said. ‘You may now begin our twelve-step programme. Just one entry requirement: bring more cigarettes.’

  ‘There’s a carton in my bag,’ Julie said. ‘You fucking get them.’

  Kate kindly volunteered, and went to make coffee. She did that a lot, for the rest of the day. It seemed that no matter how hard they glared at the floating palace in the cove, they couldn’t will it, or anyone on it, to swing into action.

  Time crawled by.

  Kate and Julie shopped for food again, and allowed themselves to be distracted by one or two clothes shops. Julie bought a striped beach dress. ‘I only got it because you liked it,’ she said, as they wandered back to the apartment.

  Kate put an arm around her shoulders. ‘Yes, darling, I know. And I do. Though it’s a bit on the revealing side, and I’m worried that the boys might like it a little too much …’

  They made prawn linguine together.

  ‘Danny wants to cook tomorrow night,’ Julie said. ‘I hope the office bean counters recognize how many euros we’re saving them.’

  ‘On past experience, I’d say their gratitude is likely to be underwhelming.’ Kate started putting together a salad. The ingredients weren’t the freshest she’d ever worked with. ‘Have you spoken to your dad since you got here?’

  ‘I talk to him every day.’

  ‘What about?’

  ‘Everything.’ She grinned. ‘Er, no. Not everything. My fears, my hopes. I spend quite a lot of time wishing aloud that I was less emotional, and he unsettles me by saying that I’m very like my mother.’

  ‘From your description of her, you’re nothing like your mother.’

  ‘Hmm. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. The older I get, the more I realize that you basically are your parents. Or become them, anyway. I mean, you have all the same characteristics, though it takes you time to spot which bit comes from where. Most importantly you inherit their value system, wholesale.

  ‘Your teenage years are just a long period of radical delusion. Once you get beyond them, you start to see the reality and choose which of those values you wish to reject or replace. The rest rolls on from one generation to the next.’

  ‘I’ll tell my kids that. They’ll be over the moon.’

  ‘They’re lucky. You know they are. And I bet they do, too.’

  ‘They might say different.’

  ‘Not if I asked them.’

  They plated up the pasta and loaded a tray.

  ‘Do you think you should have another go with your mother?’ Kate asked. ‘On the grounds that it’s a relationship one should probably never give up on.’

  ‘Do you still try?’

  ‘Yes and no. I do, but usually end up wishing I hadn’t.’

  A Greek flag flapped above the balcony of the neighbouring hotel. Given what a mess the country was in, Kate rather admired the determination of the locals to remain proud of it.

  ‘There’s something terrible about the fact that the one seal of approval I still seek is the one that will never be granted,’ she said. ‘I’ve spent my whole life trying not to be her, but I still want her to celebrate me as me. Even if it’s only once. So when I go round there I don’t know whether it’s an act of kindness – of the type my father admired and exemplified – or just another exercise in self-harm that I should have grown out of long ago.’

  ‘What does Stuart say?’

  ‘He’s trying to ban me from going. If he thought he could get away with it, he’d put arsenic in her tea. He’s quite practical like that.’

  ‘I love your husband.’

  ‘You’re welcome to him.’

  ‘Ha!’ Julie grabbed the tray and headed upstairs. ‘You don’t mean that. You’re lucky, and if you don’t know it, you’re a fool.’

  ‘Actually,’ Kate said, as they stepped on to the roof, ‘I do know it.’ Then, mostly to herself, ‘But I am a fool.’

  They ate while staring at the Empress on Danny’s central screen. There were two lights on now, and zero movement.

  ‘We should make a TV series of this,’ Julie said. ‘Kind of like Gogglebox, but marginally less compelling. The real work of SIS: watching paint dry.’

  At around eleven, Kate went to bed. She was halfway through getting changed when Yusuf sent a WhatsApp message: Still no sign of anyone.

  Kate thanked him. She thought for a moment, then sent a WhatsApp to C: No sign of anyone rerouting to Santorini. So either too smart, or not Viper.

  His response was immediate: It must be you, then. Or me.

  Must have left my sense of humour somewhere else, she replied.

  You should never leave home without it.

  There was a rap on the door. ‘Something’s happening,’ Julie said.

  27

  Kate followed her onto the roof. The Empress was ablaze with light. Half a dozen crew milled around on deck.

  ‘Moving on?’ Kate asked. ‘Or coming ashore?’

  Moments later, Mikhail climbed down into the launch and headed towards the shore. The closest surveillance officer picked him up on the quay and his camera treated them to the full benefit of Mikhail’s white skinny jeans, patent-leather shoes and brightly coloured shirt, open almost to the navel.

  ‘Are those flamingos, or just pink splodges?’ Julie said. ‘Whatever, that’s what I call dressing for a night out. I think we’re in business.’

  The first camera remained static as he walked into a beach bar called Neptune. Danny switched to the second surveillance officer’s feed as he followed Mikhail inside. The place was heaving, the music loud and the lights on low. It didn’t take long to spot that the men were mostly talking to the men and the women to the women. ‘Bingo,’ Julie said.

  The surveillance officer was clearly going to have difficulty keeping his camera on target in there without drawing attention to himself, so the Russian swam in and out of focus. He cut a lonely figure at the bar, not yet in conversation with anyone, but clearly hoping to be.

  ‘Let’s go,’ Kate said.

  ‘Where to?’

  ‘We’re not going to catch him sitting here.’

  Julie struggled to keep up with her as she threaded her way through the busy streets. ‘What’s the plan?’

  ‘I don’t have one,’ Kate said. ‘We’re going to have to make it up as we go along.’

  ‘What are we doing in a gay bar?’

  ‘What do we usually do? We’re a couple, looking to swing.’ She turned towards Julie. ‘You put your arms around my neck last night. In about ten minutes, you’re going to have to kiss me on the lips.’

  The Neptune was even noisier and more claustrophobic in reality than it had seemed through the surveillance lens. Kate made her way to the bar. ‘I must be the oldest woman in here by about a decade,’ she said.

  ‘Don’t worry, Mum,’ Julie yelled. ‘I don’t think you’ll be alone for long.’

  ‘Very funny,’ Kate said. ‘What do you want to drink?’

  ‘Oh, shit, I don’t know. Mojito? But don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s just one and I’m yours.’

  Kate ordered two and they huddled up close to the bar, since there wasn’t much choice to do otherwise. Out of the corner of her eye, Kate could see that Mikhail still hadn’t hooked up with anyone.

  She and Julie exchanged small-talk and pretended to sip their drinks. A trio beside them moved away and created some space. It was quickly filled by a tall and very pretty blonde girl with a dragon tattoo that was creeping out of her crop top and trying to give her a love bite. ‘Hi,’ she said. ‘You spoken for?’

  Kate didn’t know quite how to react.

  ‘No,’ Julie said firmly, and smiled.

  The girl offered her
hand. ‘I’m Stacey, and, as you can probably tell, I’m from the Land of the Free.’

  They shook.

  ‘Whereabouts?’ Julie asked.

  ‘Michigan originally, LA more recently. But I mostly talk about Beverly Hills because no one ever wants to hear about Michigan and I don’t blame them. I don’t either. Where are you from?’

  ‘London.’

  ‘Are you a couple?’

  Kate concentrated very hard indeed on sipping her cocktail.

  ‘Yes,’ Julie said. ‘She’s old enough to be my mother, but we try to gloss over that.’

  ‘And you like to play sometimes?’

  Even Julie looked a little nonplussed.

  ‘Sometimes,’ Kate said. ‘Depends who with.’

  Stacey moved closer. ‘I’m good with three, but happy to go with more if you’d like.’ She shook out her hair.

  Kate could see now that her irises were fully dilated, and not just because of the intimate lighting. The girl was as high as a kite.

  Stacey leant in and somehow managed to nibble Kate’s ear. ‘So how did you guys hook up?’ she breathed.

  ‘Oldest story in the world,’ Kate said, taking half a step back. ‘We worked together and …’ she ran her fingertips down Julie’s bare arm ‘… things kind of went from there.’

  ‘Where’s work?’

  ‘A very boring department of our government. The passport division. So if you ever need to get into the UK, you know who to call.’

  ‘I love London. I had a blast there. Do you ever go to Daphne’s?’

  ‘We don’t go out much in the city. You know how it is.’ Mikhail was talking to a toned twenty-something guy who looked like he’d come to a fancy-dress party as Michelangelo’s David. If Michelangelo’s David ever bothered to get dressed. ‘What brings you to Mykonos?’

  ‘Oh, just living the dream, I guess. I was in TV production in LA, but they were a bunch of sleazeballs, so I had to get outta there. I saved my nickels and dimes and decided to keep travelling until they ran out. So you might need to buy me a drink …’

  Kate waved at the waiter. As she ordered another mojito, she noticed that Mikhail and his new best friend were getting along very nicely. So nicely that he was caressing the guy’s shirt pocket. It was time for them to move. She handed Stacey her cocktail when it arrived. ‘Sorry,’ Kate said, taking Julie’s hand. ‘Nature calls. If you know what I mean.’

  ‘Jeez,’ Stacey gasped. ‘Was it something I said?’

  ‘It’s not you,’ Kate said. ‘It’s us.’

  Julie followed Kate as she slalomed through the throng. They reached the decking that led onto the beach. The DJ was now playing George Michael. ‘It’s not you, it’s us,’ Julie said. ‘Nice one. And you know how I love it when nature calls, but can you let go of my hand now?’

  Kate released her. ‘Time for an argument. Keep it going through the bar. Your hands are younger than mine, so I’ll bump and you search.’

  ‘What am I looking for?’

  ‘Room key card. I’m betting it’s in the guy’s shirt pocket. Mikhail isn’t about to fuck him on his dad’s super-yacht, is he?’

  ‘You never know with these Russians. What are we arguing about?’

  ‘My decision to dodge a threesome.’

  ‘You’re bloody enjoying this, aren’t you?’

  ‘Hello, Kettle, Pot calling …’

  Kate leant forward to kiss her on the lips, and got a slap on the cheek in return. Aghast, she put her hand to her face, then turned and strode away. She didn’t get far. Julie grabbed her arm and spun her around. ‘She might not have been your type,’ she screeched, ‘but she is mine.’

  ‘Grow up, Julie, for fuck’s sake.’

  ‘You’re just a jealous bitch. You’re always spoiling my fun.’

  If there hadn’t been so much at stake, they’d have struggled to get through it without dissolving into laughter, but Julie made a convincingly vicious young lover and the argument had all the conviction of a real one as Kate thumped into Mikhail and his statuesque young friend.

  ‘Hey,’ Mikhail said. ‘C’mon …’

  Kate feigned surprise. ‘C’mon what?’ she snapped.

  Julie gave her a drunken shove, then fell back and breathed mojito fumes over Mikhail’s companion’s chest.

  She must have been successful, because she then stormed off. Kate followed her. They kept walking until they were out on the beach. ‘Result,’ Julie whispered. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement. She held up two cards in the darkness – a room key and a driving licence.

  ‘You’re a clever girl. If I was gay, I’d definitely want to sleep with you.’

  ‘In your dreams, Grandma.’

  Kate turned and gazed out to sea. ‘Are you hearing all this, Danny? We’ve got the key. He’s staying at the Chora Beach Club. His name is Yorgos Mistolis.’

  ‘You bet I’m hearing it,’ Danny said. ‘I love it when you girls talk dirty.’

  A surveillance team was in place by the time they got to the beach club. Danny had located Yorgos Mistolis via its billing system. Room 1101 was right on the beach, simple to locate and equally simple to break into. They had it wired in less than five minutes, then hightailed it back to the roof of their apartment. The feed was high definition.

  ‘Let the circus begin,’ Julie said.

  ‘That might be in rather poor taste,’ Kate replied.

  ‘After your performance this evening, I’m not sure you’re in a position to cast the first stone.’

  Kate and Danny both helped themselves to Julie’s cigarettes. ‘Just to be clear,’ Kate said, ‘I don’t actually want to watch this. I’m just going to wait up until we’re sure we’ve got them.’

  ‘I find gay porn quite a turn-on,’ Julie said.

  ‘Men only or women too?’ Danny asked.

  ‘Both.’

  ‘What are you doing after the show?’

  They didn’t have long to wait. And there wasn’t much in the way of foreplay. The two men were barely in through the door before they were going at each other.

  ‘I’m leaving before the interval,’ Kate said. In fact, she stayed long enough only to note that they both looked as if they’d spent a lifetime in the gym.

  ‘Good call,’ Danny said. ‘I think this’ll go on for a while. And the dialogue is shit.’

  ‘Call me when it’s over.’

  Kate tried to sleep but her mind wouldn’t let go of the conversation she needed to have in a few hours’ time. Was he really scared of his father? Was it credible that Igor did not know of his activities? And was it possible that, like so much of what had happened since Istanbul – in fact, since that first conversation with Sergei – all this could be interpreted as another attempt to set her up?

  She must have dozed off because sunlight was creeping through the shutters as Julie gently shook her awake. ‘You’re on, boss,’ she said. ‘He’s getting dressed.’

  Mikhail was riding a scooter back into town, weaving to and fro across Danny’s screen, his shirt half open.

  ‘Looks happy,’ Danny said.

  ‘So would I be, if I’d just had that much sex,’ Julie said.

  Kate handed Danny her phone. ‘Can you load up last night’s stuff?’

  ‘You’ll be pleased to know I’ve put together some edited highlights.’

  ‘How lovely. How long did it go on?’

  ‘About three hours.’

  ‘Jesus Christ.’

  Kate watched Mikhail pull up in front of a café. Danny switched to the next camera. The operative wearing it followed Mikhail inside and took a seat far enough away from him to avoid invading his personal space.

  ‘Perfect,’ Julie said.

  ‘I’ve learnt to worry about perfect,’ Kate said.

  ‘But we’ve been thick on the ground, and haven’t seen a hint of anyone else.’

  ‘I know, but we didn’t on Andros either, until Rav and I were mugged by the wet team. And Lena still paid the pric
e.’ Kate stood. ‘Come on, we haven’t got the luxury of introspection.’

  Julie delivered Kate to the café on the back of her scooter. Its layout was almost identical to that of the bar they had been in last night, with a spacious deck leading to the beach, but Kate was spared the pulsating bodies and the pounding beat. It was empty except for their surveillance guy studying the menu in one corner and Mikhail in another. Kate smiled at the waiter, steeled herself, then took a seat opposite her target.

  ‘Good morning,’ she said.

  He looked up at her impassively. ‘Oh, it’s you again … let me guess. Your name is Jane or Susan and you’re from the British Secret Intelligence Service.’

  ‘How did you work it out?’

  ‘Call me a fucking genius.’

  ‘I could be an old friend of Katya’s from Downe House or—’

  ‘I know who my friends are. And you didn’t go to Downe House.’

  ‘Would you mind if I ordered coffee?’

  ‘I don’t mind if you shove a lacrosse stick up your arse, Jane. Or Alice. As long as you very quickly fuck off.’

  Kate waved at the waiter. ‘A cappuccino, please.’

  She looked at Mikhail.

  ‘I’ve ordered,’ he said. ‘Though I shan’t be staying long.’

  ‘You shouldn’t rush. After what I’ve just seen, I’d say you need to replenish your strength.’

  Mikhail stared at her. ‘So, let me guess again. Some of your rather sad and voyeuristic operatives installed cameras in my new friend’s bedroom. You’ve just enjoyed several hours watching two well-endowed and not unattractive men have vigorous sex. And you were so turned on by it, that you’ve come to ask me for my autograph.’

  ‘That is not correct in every particular.’

  ‘You’re thinking that your duty as a woman is to tell my wife.’

  ‘I’ve certainly admired your wife from a distance.’

  Mikhail shook his head. ‘It’s so late, it’s early. And as you clearly don’t need me to tell you, I didn’t get much sleep. So I’m even less interested than usual in playing your stupid games.’

  ‘I wouldn’t call this a game.’

  ‘So where do we go from here? You’re going to send the footage to my father. You think I care?’