And Then There Was Her

by Tagan Shepard

  “Of course. I love her. I want to be wherever she is.”

  Madison thought Jada would argue the point. The crease between her brows seemed to say she wanted to, but she changed the subject instead.

  “So that’s what these…what did you call them? Audition meals? That’s what they’re all about.”

  “Yeah.” Madison finished her coffee and wanted another, but she was too tired. Work this morning had been busy and it was delivery day. Then she had come here and moved around some of her larger pieces to show Jada. With all that lifting, her shoulders and back ached, so she wasn’t ready to give up her comfortable cushion yet. “I don’t know if that’s what it’s called, but it sounds like an audition to me. She has these restaurant owners coming in and she cooks them a meal to convince them to hire her as their executive chef. Like a sample menu, I guess.”

  “How are they going?”

  “Pretty good, I think. She had another one today. She’s had five or six this week with owners from around the country, as well as John Snow.”

  “From Game of Thrones?”

  “From Food and Wine magazine.”

  “He’s the one who judged the challenge she won.”

  “Yeah.” Madison decided she wanted that cup of coffee after all, and when she got up, Jada held out her empty cup. “He was very impressed with her. He’s been lining up the auditions.”

  “Is that the way a chef gets a restaurant?” With a warm grin Jada took her refilled cup and continued, “I don’t know anything about restaurants apart from how to flirt with the host for a good table and which ones have the best martinis.”

  “It isn’t the only way, but it’s really the only one we can swing at the moment. Kacey would love to open her own place but being owner and executive chef would be such a huge commitment of time and money, we just aren’t there yet.”

  “You’re happy to have her back.”

  It wasn’t a question. The knowing smile that came with the statement made Madison blush just a shade.

  “She was gone a long time.”

  Jada sighed and sat back. If anyone knew how hard those days apart were, it was Jada. She’d dried enough of Madison’s lonely tears.

  “It was good for her.”

  “Definitely. I’ve never seen her so happy and so confident.”

  “I don’t recall confidence ever being a problem for Kacey.”

  “Maybe not, but she’s like a new person now. I love seeing that sparkle in her eye.”

  “I’m glad.” Jada put her cup down on the battered coffee table, then turned thoughtfully back to her friend. “How about you? How are you doing?”

  Her vision blurred instantly, and Madison stared hard into the cooling dregs of her coffee, trying to will back the tears. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to cry in front of Jada—she had so many times over the years and she was never judged. In fact, there was no one in her life, not even Kacey, that she would rather talk to about what was going on in her heart. But she was tired of crying. Tired of the pain and the sadness. Tired of the sleepless nights and the emptiness in her chest. She had suffered so much with Kacey gone, now that she was back, Madison just wanted it to go away. She wanted to be happy again. She would be happy again if it was the last thing she did. Grabbing the chain around her neck, she toyed with the necklace until the ring of polished onyx fell out from her shirt collar.

  “I’m okay,” Madison replied, and when the gumminess in her throat and the tears in her eyes threatened to show the depth of the lie, she added, “I’m finding a way to deal.”

  Chapter Two

  Madison accidentally dropped her keys at the top of the stairs. She cursed quietly and bent at the waist to grab them. Days like this, when she spent the morning at her day job and her afternoon in her studio, were always bag days. Today she carried five—one with her neatly folded work uniform, another held her studio clothes, now covered in more drying clay than when Jada had visited, her purse, a plastic bag of groceries and finally her backpack containing a sketchbook, art magazines, and supply catalogs. Fortunately she hadn’t taught any pottery classes that morning or she’d have a sixth bag to contend with.

  Things would be much easier if she didn’t have so many bags of clothes. She would love to come home in her studio clothes and clean up here, but Kacey didn’t like to wait while she washed up for them to spend time together. Madison understood. Even after three years, they had a hard time keeping their hands off one another long enough to even ask about each other’s day. Of course, it hadn’t been quite so hot since Kacey got back, but then she was frantic about finding a job.

  They’d saved some cash before she left, and she did get a paycheck from Top Chef, but it wasn’t much of one. Kacey needed to get back to work, not just because she thrived in the fast-paced, constant pressure of the kitchen, but also because they had bills not covered by Madison working five mornings a week as a barista. Unfortunately, their shoebox apartment was in a high-rent hipster neighborhood.

  Having collected her keys, and accompanied by the deep tremor of bass from the nightclub across the street, Madison started toward her door, the last one in the long hall of the fourth floor. They had practically lived in that club a year ago. Kacey was still at Palace Arms then, so Madison had only worked three days a week. Now Madison came home tired a lot more and she didn’t have the stomach for the club. She would much rather sit on the couch with Kacey and the remote control. Hopefully that’s exactly what she would be doing in a few minutes.

  Madison dropped the keys again trying to fit the right one into the lock. This time she swore a little louder and dropped the two bags of clothes unceremoniously to the floor rather than wrestle with them. An apple fell out of the grocery bag and tried to escape off down the hall. She grabbed it and shoved it into her mouth rather than back into the untrustworthy bag. When the juice trickled around her teeth and into her mouth, she realized she hadn’t eaten since noon and she was ravenous. She took a big bite of the apple and chewed while snatching up her keys. She wondered when Kacey would be home and if she had any money to grab takeout.

  Fitting the apple back into her teeth to free up a hand, Madison shoved the key into the lock. She nearly tumbled into the apartment and cursed a third time because she had forgotten to leave lights on. The interior was dark and sticky-warm. She kicked the dropped bags through the door and dragged herself after.

  It wasn’t until she reached for the light switch that she noticed the room wasn’t as dark as she thought. The coffee table was dotted with assorted candles from tea lights to tall pillars, all flickering in the draft from the overhead vents. With a loud click Madison closed the door. She dropped her bags and took a hesitant step into the room, removing the apple from her mouth again.

  “Kacey?”

  There was no answer to her summons, but her girlfriend did love to make a splash. No doubt she was waiting for the perfect moment to appear with her devilish grin and smoky-smooth voice.

  Madison kicked off her sandals and padded barefoot into the living room. Since the room accounted for the entirety of their apartment apart from the postage stamp bedroom and surprisingly spacious bathroom, it was also their dining room. Her eyes were drawn to the tiny, two-seat dining table and she gasped. The table held only two candles, long, slim, bright white tapers placed on either side of a vase of blood-red roses. In front of the roses stood a sweating ice bucket, the neck of an open champagne bottle poking over the rim.

  Madison snatched the apple from her mouth. Her stomach growled, but there was a pleasant anticipation flowing through her that had nothing to do with hunger. She and Kacey hadn’t talked about marriage, but this setup certainly screamed proposal. Closer to the table, Madison could see the two glasses of champagne bubbling away. She was about to reach for one when an arm wrapped around her from behind.

  “Welcome home.”

  The combination of that seductive, lilting voice and the way her breath brushed against Madison’s exposed neck sent
a shiver through Madison from the very center of her scalp down to the tips of her toes.

  “Hey you.”

  Kacey dropped a wet kiss on her shoulder with a barely audible chuckle. Madison stepped out of her grasp, the better to let her appreciative eyes paint over her girlfriend. Kacey was a year younger than Madison and at least a half-foot taller. She was a study of enigmas, nearly everything about her personality at odds with her looks. She was a butch in a femme’s body. She was in control of every room she entered, confident to the point of cockiness, aided by a supermodel’s body, which made her the object of interest for everyone with a pulse. Her height was mostly long, shapely legs with delicate feet. She had small, perky breasts that she loved to show off with plunging necklines and skintight shirts.

  Her mouth was full and, as Madison knew so well, luscious to a fault. Her only physical imperfection was a weak chin, but she found a way to hide it with choppy, shoulder-length dark hair.

  Her eyes and the way she carried herself were what had drawn Madison in, and Kacey knew all too well the power she could wield with a simple heavily lidded glance. She was using it now, and Madison responded as she always did, by flinging herself into Kacey’s arms. She wrapped her arms around Kacey’s neck, pulling her into a lingering kiss. It took everything in her not to blurt out her acceptance of the proposal that had yet to come.

  Kacey’s lopsided grin showed one, glistening incisor. That smile left no doubt how the latter half of their evening would go, but for the moment it seemed she had other plans. She gently unwrapped Madison’s arms from around her neck, slipping the half-eaten apple from her grasp as she went.

  “Is this your dinner?”

  “I forgot to eat.”

  “Then maybe you shouldn’t have any champagne. Don’t want you too drunk just yet.”

  Madison put on her best pout, fluttering her eyelashes at Kacey and tugging at the hem of her low-cut T-shirt. The pout was never effective because Kacey had perfected the art of the pout long before she met Madison. It was one of the sharpest weapons in her kit, and she wasn’t vulnerable to her own sword. She laughed and tossed the apple over her shoulder as she walked toward the table.

  It was meant as a flippant gesture and it was dramatic, but with annoyance Madison watched the apple splat against the floor, little wet, sticky bits flying in all directions. Kacey only kept one room clean, the kitchen, and so Madison would be doomed to clean up after this dramatic gesture. Still, that was a chore for another day, and her heart was racing with the thought of Kacey on one knee. Nervousness weighed on her chest, twining itself around her happiness. She was sure she’d say yes, wasn’t she? She’d been expecting this for a long time, but she thought she’d be happier on the day of the proposal. It was too late to worry about that now though, so she followed Kacey to the table, taking the offered champagne flute.

  Madison fought to keep her voice even. She couldn’t look Kacey in the eye. “So what’s the occasion?”

  “Don’t you want to take a sip first?” Kacey teased.

  “No, I don’t want to take a sip first.” She felt herself blush, and her smile was so wide it hurt her cheeks. “If you don’t tell me what’s up, I’m going to explode.”

  “We’ll save that for later,” Kacey said, her voice dropping an octave and her hand sliding up Madison’s side. She dropped it immediately, though, her nerves obviously getting the better of her. “Right now, say hello to America’s newest executive chef.”

  “What?”

  “I got a job.”

  “Baby, that’s fantastic!” Madison threw herself at Kacey again, careful not to spill either glass. She held on tight, probably too tight, but the news was so wonderful and unexpected that her chest was about to rip apart with conflicting emotions. Pride and disappointment fought inside her, and pride won out. “I knew you could do it.”

  Kacey laughed into her ear. “Of course I could do it.”

  “I’m so proud of you.”

  They kissed again, this time Madison cradling Kacey’s perfect cheek in her hand. After a long moment, Kacey sat, pulling Madison down into her lap. The champagne and candles lay forgotten as Kacey explained.

  “I had a few offers, but this one was by far the best.”

  “What kind of restaurant is it?”

  Kacey had been cooking French cuisine at Palace Arms, but her career had taken her all over the culinary spectrum. She had cooked Italian, Korean, and New American just since they’d been together, and she’d already been out of culinary school a while by then.

  “It’s whatever I want it to be,” she replied with a smugness that showed itself more and more often these days. “A new restaurant on a winery. They’re doing this whole destination thing. It’s a working winery and they’ve added a hotel and cottages so people can stay and do the whole experience. Up until now, they’ve just had a simple hotel restaurant, but now they want to do more. A splash restaurant to bring in more business.”

  “On a winery? That’s cool. So Napa Valley?”

  Madison had decided as soon as Kacey got home from filming that she would move anywhere. She would let Kacey find a job somewhere, anywhere, and she would follow. Madison expected them to spend their lives together, she didn’t care where those lives were spent. Besides, there was nothing, apart from a few friends, keeping her in Denver anymore.

  “No, not Napa. That’s old hat, no one looks to Napa anymore.”

  Madison slid off Kacey’s lap and reached for the champagne, refilling their glasses.

  “Okay, where then?”

  “How do you feel about Oregon?”

  “I don’t feel anything about Oregon. Is there anything there?”

  “There is Minerva Hills Winery, with their award-winning pinot noir and their new restaurant run by a fabulously beautiful and talented executive chef, Kacey Willis.”

  “Wait, you mean the Kacey Willis?” Madison’s joke spoiled only slightly when she cracked a small smile. “The one from Top Chef?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “She’s hot.”

  “You better believe it, baby.”

  Madison set her glass down and slid back onto Kacey’s lap, straddling her legs, pressing their bodies close. Kacey’s hands went immediately to her butt, pulling their hips together. Madison rocked forward, dipping her lips to Kacey’s throat and kissing her way toward her neck.

  “I haven’t told you the best part.”

  Madison’s hand found the hem of Kacey’s shirt, pulling it up slowly.

  “Better than the fact that my girlfriend has her own restaurant?”

  Kacey groaned as Madison sunk her teeth into her ear lobe.

  “Better than that. Room and board are covered.”

  Madison’s hand faltered in the act of moving up Kacey’s bare side.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean,” Kacey said, pulling her head back enough so she could look into Madison’s eyes. The glint in them told her this was something special she’d been saving. “In addition to a ridiculously high salary, I also negotiated for us to live in one of the cottages on the vineyard. Rent free.”

  “Rent free?”

  “Rent free.”

  “So…”

  “So no more slinging coffee or teaching at the local arts center for you.” Kacey’s eyes softened, and for a moment Madison saw the woman behind the bravado. “You can focus on your art fulltime. I made sure of it.”

  The tears flowed down Madison’s cheeks before she could stop them. “Oh, baby… Thank you so much.”

  “You deserve it.”

  She didn’t really. She’d done little to earn it, but there was nothing in the world that she wanted more and she would work to earn it now that she had it. Her excitement surprised her. Even with the prospect of being a fulltime artist, she wanted to be out of Denver. She hadn’t realized how much until this moment when it was a reality. She needed to leave. There were too many ghosts here.

  “I love you.” />
  Kacey couldn’t respond because Madison threw herself so hard into their next kiss that the chair toppled over with both of them in it. They giggled at the ridiculousness of it, but that didn’t stop them for long. All the candles had burned themselves out before they stumbled off to bed.

  Chapter Three

  “This whole thing has been a goddamn nightmare!”

  Madison tried not to get annoyed with her girlfriend, but the headache arcing its way across her temples made it difficult. She gritted her teeth and looked out the window of their rented SUV, watching the ethereal green landscape whip by. Except the scenery wasn’t exactly whipping by, hence Kacey’s annoyance. They were currently creeping along in the wake of a massive piece of farming equipment that spanned the width of both lanes. Oncoming traffic was all but running into the ditch to avoid the enormous tires and deadly looking appendages. Unfortunately, the machine appeared to have a top speed of about ten miles an hour. They’d been stuck behind it, acquiring a growing tail of traffic behind them, for what seemed like hours.

  It wasn’t just their speed making Kacey scream. She’d been yelling since breakfast, a meal they’d had to grab on the run because the alarm they’d set on Kacey’s phone hadn’t gone off and they nearly missed their flight. When they’d arrived at the Denver airport, they discovered they needn’t have assaulted their taste buds with soggy airport croissants, because their flight was delayed three hours. When they finally arrived at the Portland airport, they discovered their rental car had been given away when they didn’t arrive at the scheduled time. Kacey wasn’t thrilled when Madison pointed out that she had suggested they call. And to top it all off, their baggage was the last onto the carousel.

  All in all, Kacey had been in a rage for so long that Madison wanted nothing more than to be as far away from her as possible. They’d been on the road for over an hour already and they had a ways to go.

  The saving grace, at least as far as Madison was concerned, was the shocking beauty of the landscape. It was almost enough to whisk her headache away and block out her girlfriend’s constant complaining. Everywhere she looked were rolling green fields and perfect lines of grapes. Madison hadn’t realized that there were so many vineyards in this area. She hadn’t realized there were so many vineyards in the whole state. They seemed to cover every inch of the landscape. The symmetry of the vines, their perfect spacing and their lushness were hypnotic.