And Then There Was Her

by Tagan Shepard

  The clouds overhead, ominous as they were with their swollen gray bellies, served to cover some of the heat, but it was still warmer than usual. Madison hadn’t expected to leave the house so abruptly, but the lack of preparation turned out to be a bonus. She had been working in the barely-there cutoff jean shorts and oversized, slip-shoulder T-shirt she preferred for hot days, and the outfit was perfect for the sultry day. CS’s jeans and short-sleeved button-up looked comparatively stifling. Still, her sleeves were very short, straining against the bulge of her biceps and accentuating the muscles of her forearms.

  CS stopped and checked a bunch of small, underdeveloped grapes, and something in the cursory way she studied them made Madison think her heart wasn’t really in the task. Her eyes wandered to the horizon and to the gathering clouds more than to the vines. They took a more leisurely pace than normal too. Altogether to Madison, it felt more like a casual stroll than an inspection of the fields, which suited her just fine. She loved the way their time together had become friendly. She wanted more than friendly—she freely admitted that to herself now, but she would start with friendly. The problem, of course, was that friendly did not include the desire to reach out and stroke the long, lean muscles of CS’s arm the way she yearned to. The way the muscles rippled under her skin was enticing. CS looked over then, catching her staring.

  A breeze kicked up out of nowhere, making the skin of Madison’s arm pimple with the sudden chill. She saw the delicate hairs on CS’s arm sway in the wind. She wondered if CS’s skin was reacting to the cold the same as hers was. She wondered what it would feel like under her fingertips. She couldn’t fight the impulse any longer, she had no choice. She had to touch CS in some way. The pull of her was so strong, Madison knew she would never be able to breathe again if she didn’t touch CS.

  Her hand was beginning to move, reaching out for CS’s, when the other woman abruptly stopped. She turned to Madison and asked, “Why aren’t you supervising your art being picked up? You need to be there, don’t you?”

  “I can’t be there.”

  “Why?”

  Madison scuffed the dirt with the toe of her shoe. “I have to be where I can’t see them and they can’t see me. I hate this part. So many things can go wrong that I have no control over. What if they drop something and shatter it into a million pieces? Everything I am, I pour into those pieces. To lose them like that? I just…can’t be there.”

  CS’s shoulders relaxed and she laughed a breathy sort of exhalation. “I know exactly what you mean. Bottling days are the hardest days of my life. Everything’s on a knife’s edge. I’m kind of hard to deal with those days.”

  The wind picked up, whipping at Madison’s loose shirt and sweeping the bangs across CS’s forehead. Thunder clapped loud and sharp in the distance, but neither of them noticed. They only noticed each other. Neither of them even blinked as clouds blotted out the sun and the air grew thick with the scent of rain.

  “We’re the same, aren’t we?” Madison asked in a voice only just louder than the whistling wind. “Artists who have to learn how to flourish all on our own. It didn’t come easy. I guess I didn’t realize how alike we were.”

  “We always have been.” CS took a step closer. “You just never noticed before.”

  They were so close now, sharing the warmth of each other’s skin. Heat radiated off the pair of them so intensely it could set the whole world on fire. There was energy in the air between them. Then there was no air between them. Their lips met. Crashed together. It was an earth-shattering, desperate kiss. A hungry kiss consuming all the oxygen around them.

  Madison allowed herself to burn, to catch flame in the press of CS’s body against hers. CS’s lips against hers. CS’s tongue against hers. She wanted to burn. To be consumed. Every second that passed with their bodies this close was an eternity in which stars exploded apart and re-formed only to shatter again.

  The storm broke in the air around them. Sheets of water so heavy they were like hail pounding against them. They broke apart reluctantly, the separation of their bodies marked by a jagged streak of lightning flashing across the sky, exploding in an ear-splitting thunderclap the moment it disappeared. CS grabbed Madison’s hand and turned, sprinting for the tree line and safety, huge, painful raindrops pelting them the entire way.

  Both of them were soaked through by the time they made it to the cover of the trees. CS led Madison far enough in that the canopy saved them from the worst of the downpour and the gray daylight disappeared behind a maze of dripping trunks. Looking around, Madison saw nothing but trees on all sides of her. The steady drip of water fell from the leaves onto the ground around them, but they were as dry and warm as they could expect in a storm like this one.

  Madison and CS both panted, but not from the running. Even while scanning their surroundings, their eyes kept finding their way back to each other. Each time their eyes met, a bolt of something resembling electricity shot through Madison’s body. CS was looking at Madison as though she wanted to devour her. Or maybe that was the reflection of Madison’s own need that she could see in CS’s eyes.

  A few raindrops falling through the thick canopy landed on Madison, doing nothing to cool the burn of her skin. The thick, blue cotton of her T-shirt was heavy and nearly black with the water soaked into it. It clung coldly to her skin, hugging her curves as tightly as a bra would have done if she’d thought to wear one.

  She stared at CS, looking at her as she seemed to be trying hard not to stare at Madison’s breasts, outlined in every detail. Madison saw the struggle etched across her face, but her eyes kept coming back to Madison.

  “The stables are close,” CS said, turning her body away. “We can make it if you want.”

  Frustration bubbled in Madison. It made her bold. She marched up to CS, her feet quiet on the damp leaves. CS tried to turn again, but Madison snatched her hands, holding them tight in her own.

  “I don’t want that. I want to stay here. With you.”

  She felt the warmth of CS’s hands in her own. The gentle strength. She raised them to her face, laying a soft kiss in the center of each palm. CS turned her eyes on Madison again and this time they weren’t stone or ice. They burned with a fire so blue it was white-hot.

  “I don’t want you for revenge,” Madison said, conviction hardening her voice.

  She moved CS’s hands again, this time placing them over her own rain-soaked shirt and cold breasts. As they cupped her, infusing that gentle warmth in her sensitive skin, Madison fought not to roll her head back and moan. She forced herself to keep her gaze locked on CS’s and fought hard to keep her voice steady.

  “I just want you.”

  The world held still and silent. The rain stopped falling on her shoulders. The leaves stopped rustling in the storm. The wind forgot to blow. It was as though the whole world held its breath as Madison held hers. Part of her expected CS to stop things here. They’d been close before, close to giving in to their shared desire, but CS had stopped them. Chosen caution. Madison prayed with all her might that she would be reckless this time.

  Everything in the world went perfectly still for a heartbeat before CS shattered. She moved so quickly, trapping Madison’s gasp of surprise with her mouth.

  For all the suddenness of it, the kiss was surprisingly gentle. Their lips settled against each other. For all its passion, the kiss was slow. Respectful. Even through the fog of need, Madison could tell CS was holding back, waiting to know that Madison was sure.

  Madison’s body ached for more, the feel of CS’s hands on her breasts wasn’t enough. She needed to be devoured by this woman so full of passion. She could feel the tension in CS’s body, coming off her in waves of heat. She seemed to be ready to explode and Madison would make that happen.

  She grabbed CS by the collar, pulling their bodies closer. Some of the tension released, CS’s hand moved on her, sending shockwaves from her eager nipples through every inch of her skin. They stumbled backward together until a broad tree t
runk blocked their path. The surface of it was exactly what Madison needed, something to hold on to while CS touched her.

  Madison broke the kiss, needing now, once and for all, to get all of CS. All of her attention, all of her passion, all she had to offer. She cupped CS’s face, forcing those desire-darkened eyes to settle on her face before she begged, “Please don’t hold back. I need you.”

  Her movements were a blur, rushed with overwhelming desire. In one decisive movement she ripped the shirt off Madison and replaced her hand with her mouth on Madison’s breast. The moment CS’s lips wrapped around her nipple, the need she’d bottle up for weeks exploded from her in a scream.

  CS pressed her back against the tree, the rough bark biting into her bare skin. It was ecstasy, the feel of it tethering her to the world while her body fought to fly free. She ran her fingers through the short, wet strands of CS’s hair. CS tore at her shorts as though she wanted to shred them off her. She managed to yank them off, pulling her underwear with them and leaving Madison terrifyingly, exquisitely naked in the forest.

  Asking her to let go had consequences Madison had not anticipated. Freed from her doubt, CS was like a feral beast, seemingly intent on possessing Madison’s body as much as pleasuring it. Madison loved every second. To see such a composed, structured woman crumple into this primal state was more intoxicating than any drug.

  CS released her breast, leaving Madison whimpering at the loss, but she didn’t let their bodies separate for long. With bared teeth and a look of hunger that made Madison’s mind go blank, CS studied her body, inch by exposed inch. Rather than wilting under the examination, Madison felt more desirable than she ever had. She leaned back against the tree, wanting the scrape of bark on her back again, a little bite of pain to temper the pleasure.

  She launched herself onto CS, wrapping her legs around the damp denim that encircled her waist. CS grabbed on, holding them together. She pressed Madison back against the tree trunk, her lips traveling the width and breadth of Madison’s face and neck, leaving little rosettes of flame behind wherever they touched.

  With the tree for leverage, CS was able to free one hand, slipping it between their rain-slicked bodies. Every touch was a tiny miracle of pleasure. She kept her eyes locked on CS’s face, using her eyes and the tips of her fingers to trace every line, every muscle, every wrinkle and scar. Despite the exquisite bolts shooting through her, she kept her eyes wide open, wanting to sear this moment into her memory. She wanted to see CS. To watch her move. To watch her breathe in Madison. To watch the way her lips turned up ever so slightly at the corners with each moan that escaped Madison’s lips.

  CS’s skill made it hard to focus. Madison’s body shook as it climbed, carried to new heights in deft hands. The yearning in CS’s eyes was nearly as powerful as her touch. A strong wind blew through the trees, shaking the leaves above them just as Madison shook apart. She threw her head back and screamed her release to the heavens.

  She opened her eyes as her scream died away. The muted glow of the storm-dark afternoon now was bright. The canopy had parted enough to let in a single ray of sunlight. A thousand raindrops fell from the sky above, each and every one of them capturing the light inside them. Each and every one of them a drop of light made solid as it fell on Madison’s body, entwined with CS.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  The storm passed at some point in the steaming afternoon, but neither Madison nor CS noticed. When they emerged from the trees, hands entwined and Madison’s head resting on CS’s shoulder, they didn’t notice it was growing dark. They only noticed each other. The way their fingers fit together. The way they matched each other’s stride perfectly.

  Madison slid her hand across CS’s shirt, now untucked from her jeans, feeling the flat plane of muscle beneath. She had not felt this at peace in so long, she wanted to revel in it now. Wrap herself in the glow of CS and the setting sun. They slowed their pace by silent, mutual consent the closer they came to the stables. Madison pulled CS closer, making their steps falter for a moment.

  CS stopped first. She pulled Madison against her, no longer to her side but into the circle of her strong arms. Madison burrowed her face in CS’s neck, breathing in the scent of her skin and dried rain. In the reluctance to let her go, Madison could feel how much CS wanted her, and it warmed her like the summer sun.

  “Do you…want to come inside?”

  Muffled by Madison’s hair as her words were, the note of worry came through. The gentleness and the hesitance with the thinnest slice of fear. Such vulnerability in such a capable, intense woman sent Madison’s head spinning. She dragged her face away from CS’s neck just enough to look into her eyes and let herself swim again in their blue depths. She wrapped her arms around CS’s neck, holding her body close and pulling her mouth down into a kiss as soft as she could manage. A kiss that would communicate the depth of her desire and the tenderness of her emotion all in one, brief meeting of lips.

  “I want to,” she said, their faces still so close her lips brushed against CS’s as she spoke. “More than anything. But I really should get back home and check on things.”

  “Of course.”

  “You could come with me.” She let her hands wander, finding the tails of CS’s shirt and sliding past them. “I’m sure everyone’s gone by now.”

  “Mmmm.”

  “We could light a fire. Lie down on the rug…”

  “Tempting as that sounds,” CS said, the disappointment in her voice reinforcing the words. “I can’t. It’s Monday. My friends will be here any minute and I should shower first.”

  Madison hooked her finger in the waistband of CS’s jeans, not wanting to let go yet. “Probably.”

  “I would blow them off, but Drack is bringing a special bottle tonight. He’s really excited.”

  “Am I invited to the party?”

  CS smiled so widely she looked like a kid. She even blushed a little. It made Madison want to push her through the door to her apartment and lock it behind, not letting her out for days, or possibly years.

  “You have to come. If Drack gets to bring something special, so do I.” She blushed even harder, kicking her booted heel into the dirt sheepishly. “That was really cheesy. Forget I said it?”

  Madison leaned in, laying a kiss on her bottom lip. “It was sweet. So, no, I won’t forget it.”

  Madison arrived late to the gathering. She had showered quickly enough, but couldn’t find the incentive to dress. Instead, she lay in her robe on the bed, her eyes closed, letting her mind wander back to the afternoon. The happy bubble inside her only grew as she lay there, and her hair was completely dry by the time she pried herself off the comforter. She tried not to try too hard in her choice of clothes, but CS made her feel beautiful and she wanted to make herself worthy of being shown off.

  CS caught her at the tasting room door, but limited her physical affection to a brief touch on the small of Madison’s back. Neither of them could manage more than a few seconds without looking over at the other. It was as if they shared a delicious secret too valuable for the world to see.

  After her first glass, Madison was treated to a taste of Drack’s special bottle. It was his own Meritage and very good. Still nothing compared to even the humblest Minerva Hills bottle, but Madison was able to praise his work with complete sincerity. Under her approval he preened like a peacock and flitted around the room, pouring tastes for everyone and getting steadily drunk off his own wine and his own success.

  Madison took her second glass to a table near the patio far enough removed that she could safely watch CS. She had been talking to Henry and Lisa since they arrived. Madison watched the way the married couple maintained a casual contact with each other all night. When Lisa spoke, Henry couldn’t keep his eyes off her. It was charming, sweet in the way of couples who are so very at ease with each other. CS’s eyes darted to hers so often Madison almost felt a part of the group.

  “Why do I have the feeling you didn’t take my advice?”r />
  Laura appeared from nowhere across the table, slipping uninvited into an empty chair. She crossed her legs in that graceful way she had. Like a snake or a dancer, maybe a little of both. Her voice was light, a good-natured smile playing across her lips, but Madison knew her well enough by now to be cautious.

  “Was that advice? It sounded like a warning.”

  She’d been looking at CS, but the snap of Madison’s words made her focus on her tablemate. She gave a flippant, casual flick of her wrist. “Relax, Madison. I don’t bite.”

  “Could’ve fooled me.”

  “You caught me at a bad moment the last time we spoke.” She sipped her wine, a chardonnay Henry and Lisa had brought, and judged it with a dismissive shrug. “I shouldn’t have implied more of a relationship than we share.”

  “Exactly what sort of relationship do you think you share with CS?”

  Laura smiled then, staring into her wine and Madison wished her words hadn’t come out so sharply. There was sadness in Laura’s smile. Maybe even loneliness. “You don’t have to worry about me, Madison. We’re just friends.”

  Laura’s wistful look made Madison see that loneliness in a new light. Laura wasn’t jealous. She was alone and now her friend wasn’t. Of all the ways Madison thought this conversation would go, she never imagined she’d end up feeling sorry for Laura.

  “Can I ask…Why didn’t you two make it as a couple?”

  “Because we were young and dedicated to work.” Laura sipped her wine again, obviously playing for time. “We never worked the same vineyard. Our personalities would never have allowed it. We worked fields close to each other so we could live together, but we separated for work every morning.”

  Madison considered interrupting the story. She didn’t like to think of CS waking up beside Laura every morning, or worse, going to bed next to her every night. Not now. Not when she could still feel CS’s body writhing under her touch.