Covet thy Neighbor

by Denise Carbo

  They both scramble to follow instructions.

  “How was school?”

  “Fine.”

  “Good.”

  “Anything interesting happen? Do anything fun? Learn something new?” Tommy’s coat falls to the floor from the peg he tossed it at. I pick it up and pull the sleeves out so it’s ready for him to put on the next time and hang it up.

  “I don’t know.” Tommy finishes washing his hands first and sits at the table and stuffs an apple slice into his mouth.

  Timmy shrugs as he walks out of the bathroom. “Not really.”

  Trying to get any specifics of their day at school is an exercise in futility. You would think I’d have given up by now.

  “Can we play outside when we’re done?” Tommy looks up as I walk into the kitchen. A drop of peanut butter dots his chin.

  I lean over and hand him his napkin. “Do you have homework?”

  “Nope.”

  I glance at Timmy and he shakes his head.

  “Then yes. Make sure you dress warmly, which means boots, coats, gloves, and hats. Don’t forget Franny is watching you two tonight.”

  “Yes!” Tommy punches a fist into the air. “We’re going to her house, right?”

  “Yes, and you better be on your best behavior.”

  “We will.” Timmy carries his plate to the sink.

  I kiss him on the top of his head. “I know you will, baby.” I put both hands on Tommy’s shoulders and kiss his bent head. “I love you two monkeys.”

  “Love you.” Timmy sits on the stairs to put on his boots while Tommy puts his plate in the sink. “Love you.”

  Once they’re bundled up and playing in the backyard, I go upstairs to search through my closet for something to wear which will complement my fresh look. Hopefully, Ryan will be more observant than his sons and notice my new haircut and makeup.

  A sapphire blue cashmere sweater lies on my bed with an assortment of choices for my lower half below and next to it. Pants or skirt? I don’t want to freeze, but I need something date like not business or funeral like.

  One of the boys yell outside and I cross to the window. Tommy waves at someone. I lean farther forward. Luke’s walking toward my backyard.

  By the time I get downstairs, put on my coat and shoes, stuff my phone in my pocket, and open the back door the boys are standing at the edge of our property chattering away to Luke standing on the other side of the bushes. He raises a hand to wave when I walk across the deck.

  “Hi.” I wave and then stuff my hands under my arms. I should have grabbed my gloves too.

  Tommy runs over to the deck. “Can we have a snowball fight with Luke?”

  I glance over to Luke. Timmy stands next to him waiting for my answer.

  “What does Luke say about this?”

  “It was his idea.”

  “Oh really?”

  Luke laughs. “Technically, I asked if they were building a fort over there for a snowball fight.” He jerks his chin over by the playscape.

  There’s a pile of snow where the boys must have dug out an area and made a wall of sorts.

  “We were making an igloo, but a fort and snowball fight is more fun.”

  “An igloo, huh?” Luke studies the falling down mound and glances over to me. “What do you think? Can the boys and I play in the snow?”

  Chuckling, I gaze at the three earnest faces. “Sure, you three boys can play in the snow.”

  Timmy and Tommy grin and run towards their structure. Luke strolls over to the deck and gazes up at me.

  “I don’t think either one of them is cut out for architect school, but they get points for imagination.”

  “Everyone has to start somewhere.”

  A weight bumps against my leg and I glance down. My phone clunks against my foot and rests on the deck.

  “Where did that come from?”

  “My coat pocket. I keep forgetting there’s a hole in it.” Actually, there’s one in both pockets now. I’ve sewn them both more than once, but my tendency to stuff my keys in the pockets keeps opening up the seams.

  “You should zip up.” He nods at my coat as he pulls a pair of gloves from his pocket.

  I would, but the zipper is broken. I wrap it tighter around me instead.

  “Nice haircut.” He walks over to the boys and hunkers down to inspect their creation.

  Smiling, I turn and walk back inside.

  Chapter 31

  “You look beautiful.” Ryan stands and kisses me on the lips. He lingers for a second and pulls back and smiles.

  “Thank you.” I sit in the chair he pulls out. Being on time has never been one of Ryan’s strengths, yet he was already waiting at the table when I arrived at the restaurant. He’s making an effort I can’t help but appreciate. “I haven’t eaten here in a while.” I glance around the room. There’s a fireplace on the other side with a crackling fire inside. Hurricane lamps with a wreath of evergreens circling the bottom flicker in the middle of the white tablecloths.

  “The last time I ate here was with you. Remember when I got the job? Your parents watched the boys so we could celebrate.”

  “Of course, I do.” Ryan had gotten hired right after college. We thought we were so grown up having dinner at the White Birch Inn and celebrating his new job. “It seems like so long ago, doesn’t it?”

  “In some ways, in others it seems like it was just yesterday.” He takes my hand across the table. “We were planning to go house hunting, remember?”

  “Yes, we debated where to search. You wanted something in an up-and-coming neighborhood. I don’t think we succeeded with that one.”

  “I don’t know, property values have gone up, haven’t they?”

  “Maybe a bit, but not enough to make me rich or even enough to warrant selling.”

  “You’ve considered selling?”

  The server arrives and Ryan orders wine for both of us.

  “Not seriously. The thought has crossed my mind. The boys are getting older and it’s only a two-bedroom house.”

  “We could get a bigger house in the Boston suburbs. I can commute to work on the T.”

  “You’re moving too fast, Ryan. We haven’t even started dating again.”

  He closes the menu and leans forward. “Then what is this, if not a date?”

  I scan the menu. I’m feeling carnivorous tonight. Steak sounds good. Closing the menu, I put it on the end of the table. “It’s a date to determine if we’re compatible as a couple to start dating.”

  “We were married. I think that proves we’re compatible.”

  I tilt my head and raise my eyebrows. “We’re divorced, remember?”

  “So you’re not willing to give us another chance?”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I want to make sure if we try again, it’s for the right reasons. We can’t just get back together for the boys’ sake. They’re ten. It won’t be long before they’re grown and it will just be the two of us. We’ve never had that. It’s always been the four of us.”

  The server returns with our wine. I order the New York strip with mashed potatoes and a salad while Ryan orders the prime rib and baked potato. When the server leaves, Ryan picks up his glass and swirls the wine. I take a sip of mine while he studies the glass.

  “We had a fun time hunting for the perfect tree the weekend after Thanksgiving, didn’t we? The boys will live at home for a minimum of another eight years, probably longer. These days kids live with their parents well into their twenties. I don’t see what’s so wrong with wanting to provide them with a stable family.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with it, but it can’t be the only reason. Why do you want to get back together? Would you even consider it if we didn’t have the boys?”

  Ryan stares at me over his glass. “How can I possibly answer that question? We do have the boys.”

  “Do you love me Ryan?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “I mean, are you in love with me? Not just as th
e mother of your children.”

  He gazes around the room and back to me. “What’s the difference? Love is love.”

  I look out the window at the puffy snowflakes drifting down to the ground. How do I explain there are different types of love and I want the chance to have the happily ever after type of love? The kind where simply thinking about me makes him happy. I want to be loved like that and love someone that way in return.

  “Tell me how you felt about Alice.”

  “Alice? What does she have to do with anything?”

  “Did you love her?”

  “This feels like a trap.”

  I shake my head. “It’s not, I promise.”

  “I guess so, sure.”

  “You guess so? You dated throughout high school. Your mother calls her your soul mate.”

  “Is that what this is about? My mother inviting Alice and her parents over for Thanksgiving? My parents and hers are friends. They go on vacations together.”

  “No, that’s not what I’m referring to. I want to know how you felt when you were with her. Did she make you happy?”

  Ryan shakes his head. “I don’t see what any of this has to do with us.”

  The server places salads in front of us and a cutting board with bread and butter.

  “Were you attracted to her? Did your breath catch when she walked in the room? Did you count the minutes until you were with her again? Did you smile for no reason when you thought about her?”

  He glares while he takes a bite of his salad and butters a slice of bread.

  I pick up my fork and poke at the lettuce on my plate before staring at him. “Do you feel that way about me? Have you ever?”

  He pauses with his fork halfway to his mouth and then looks away.

  “I didn’t think so.” I place my fork onto my plate and stare out the window. Ice and snow coat the lake. As winter progresses and the ice gets thicker, fishing shacks will appear on the lake and snowmobile tracks will crisscross the lake.

  Clasping my hands in my lap, I gaze at his familiar face. His brown hair is neatly clipped. Light brown eyes, always so serious, stare back. “I love you Ryan. You’re a good father. I care about you. I want you to be happy. I’m not in love with you. And I want that for both of us, don’t you?”

  Ryan drops his fork onto his plate with a clang. He swallows a gulp of wine and puts his glass down. “So, you are saying no.”

  “I guess I am.”

  He wipes his mouth with his napkin. “So you’re not coming with me to Boston?”

  “Have they made a decision? You got the position?”

  “Not yet, but it looks good.”

  “Is that what this is about? You’re afraid you won’t see the kids if you take the job?”

  “It’s a couple hours away if traffic isn’t a nightmare. It’s Boston, traffic is always a nightmare.”

  “We’ll make it work.”

  “Does the neighbor have anything to do with your decision? Are you in love with him?”

  “Luke? No, this isn’t about him. We’re not dating anymore, just friends.” Ryan doesn’t need to know Luke stirs some of those feelings in me. It doesn’t matter anyway. Luke feels that way for his sister-in-law—not me.

  Ryan nods and takes a bite of bread and picks up his fork. “Any chance you’ll change your mind?”

  I smile and pick up my fork. “No.”

  The server arrives with our meals after I take one bite of my salad.

  “Besides, can you imagine your mother’s reaction if you told her we were getting back together?”

  He winces as he cuts into his steak.

  “I saw that. Admit it, your mother hates me and always will.”

  “She doesn’t hate you.”

  I glance up as I cut my steak. “Come on, Ryan.”

  He sighs and takes a bite of his steak. “Hate is a strong word. She might never be your biggest fan though.”

  I dip the steak into a dab of steak sauce before taking a bite. Ryan shakes his head. He could never understand how I can ruin a good piece of steak with sauce. The tangy sauce touches the tip of my tongue and I smile.

  “She gave me quite the earful after Thanksgiving. Wanted to know why you were there and why I went to your parents’ house.” He glances up from his plate. “Tried to get me to ask Alice out on a date.”

  I nod. “I bet. What did you tell her?” I lower my fork. “Please tell me you didn’t mention the possibility of a reconcile. She doesn’t want it to happen, but she’ll blame me even more if she finds out I turned down her precious son.”

  He smirks while adding sour cream to his baked potato.

  “Ryan, you didn’t, did you?”

  He glances up at me and slowly cuts the baked potato into sections.

  “Ryan!”

  “Relax, I didn’t.”

  I lean back into my chair and glare. “She’s never going to forgive me for trapping her baby with a baby.”

  “You didn’t trap me.”

  “Tell her that.”

  “My mom is a bit old fashioned.”

  “A bit?”

  “I never blamed you.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  He puts down his knife and fork. “I’ve never said the pregnancy was your fault.”

  “No, but you resented me for not knowing antibiotics lowered the effectiveness of the pill. You resented having to work while in college to help support me and the boys and moving out of the dorm and into my parents’ house. You resented having to marry me.”

  “I may have resented the situation, but I didn’t blame you. We were in it together. I always thought you resented me because you had to drop out of college while I stayed.”

  “No.” I wince. “Well, maybe a tiny bit if I’m being completely honest.”

  He smiles and picks up his knife and fork.

  “I’m signing up for more classes next semester. It’ll take me a while, but I’m going to get a degree.”

  “That’s great. What do you plan to do with it?”

  “Do with it? Hang it on a wall?”

  Ryan laughs. “I mean for work.”

  “Oh.” I shrug and eat my mashed potatoes. What do I plan to do? Start my own business? Get a job as a manager?

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t thought that far ahead. Right now, I’m using my new knowledge on the bakery. It’s fun.”

  “You think it could lead somewhere? A partnership?”

  “I don’t know if that’s an option Franny would be interested in.” Would she?

  He shrugs. “It’s something to consider. You could also move to Boston and get a job there. Finish school quicker. More opportunities.”

  “Ryan, I told you we’ll make it work with the boys. You could check out places halfway between here and Boston to live. Could you work remotely part of the week?”

  “It’s a possibility once I’m established, not for the first few months.”

  The server clears our plates and asks us if we want to order dessert.

  “None for me.”

  “Are you sure? We can split something.”

  “I’m sure, but you go ahead.”

  “Just the check,” Ryan says to the server.

  I reach over and squeeze Ryan’s hand. “Just because we’re not getting back together doesn’t mean we can’t still have outings as a family.”

  He smiles and clasps my hand in his. “How does a family weekend in Boston sound? I’ll show you all the sites, the museums, colleges…”

  “I don’t remember you being this tenacious.”

  “I followed Alice around for weeks before she agreed to go out with me.”

  I point my finger. “See, you loved her. A bit stalkery too, but you were a teenager. Why don’t you ask her out? Doesn’t she live in Boston? I’m sure someone mentioned that at Thanksgiving.”

  He laughs. “Yeah, she does and maybe I will. We’ll see what happens with the job.”

  “You’ll make your mother very happy.”r />
  After he pays the check, we stand. Ryan puts his hand at the base of my back as we walk through the restaurant. As we near the entrance Luke walks in with an incredibly attractive brunette wearing a fire engine red power suit.

  I stumble and Ryan clasps my waist. “Okay?”

  I nod and peek back at Luke and his companion. He whispers something in her ear.

  Who is she? The muscles in my stomach clutch as we close the distance. I force a smile to my lips.

  Our gazes meet and he nods in my direction and walks right past me.

  Ryan retrieves our coats. “Wasn’t that your neighbor?”

  “Yup.”

  “Who’s the woman?”

  “No idea.”

  Chapter 32

  The driveway and path to my front door is clear of snow. Had Ryan done it before he left with the boys this morning? I dreaded coming home from work to shovel the snow which fell last night. I need to thank him. I could have him over for dinner during the week. Ever since our date on Monday and our honest conversation, we’ve settled into a new camaraderie. There’s no tension.

  My grades came in for my final exams and projects. I aced them both. The professors were so complementary and encouraging. One even said I had an aptitude for business. I enrolled in two more classes for next semester, an accounting course because it’s a necessary evil and another marketing course. This one specializes in social media and websites as well as advertising.

  I hang up my coat on a peg and slip off my shoes and wiggle my toes. I should have picked up something special for dinner to celebrate. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

  There’s a knock on the door which stops me halfway up the stairs. Who could that be? I turn and trudge back down the stairs and open the door.

  Luke stands there holding a plant.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi.”

  “It occurred to me I never did anything to thank you for being there for me after Wyatt’s anniversary.” He lifts the plant. “I was going to buy you flowers, but they just die so I went with a plant. It’s called a Christmas cactus. I don’t exactly know what that means, but anyway…thanks.”