Heart of Steele

by Alysha Huddleston

  He scrubbed his face, taking a deep breath. It was a fucking sleazy business, no matter what he did to whitewash it. And why would someone as beautiful and sweet and good as Autumn want to associate with someone like him?

  He'd let her go. He had to. If he didn't, she'd hate him more every day, and he'd hate himself.

  He pulled up to the desk and grabbed the phone when there was a knock.

  He frowned. "Come in."

  "Love you guys! Ok. You too." Autumn shoved open the door and walked in, wary eyes on Magnus as she ended her call.

  "Hi." She bit her lip, lingering after she'd closed the door.

  When he didn't answer, she took a deep breath. "Sorry I'm late. My family called to wish me...to say hi." She finished, dropping her gaze to his chest.

  To wish her, what? Was it her birthday? Relief swept like a tsunami through his chest, restoring his sanity and equilibrium. He'd panicked, but she was here, looking the angel of forgiveness. He was so fucking glad to see her.

  "Is it your birthday?" His voice was gruff with emotion.

  "Um, yeah."

  He couldn't stop the grin. "Then don't move."

  Autumn glanced up, a furrow between her brows.

  He strode to the small closet and whipped his coat off the hanger, shrugging into it and tugging his leather gloves over his hands.

  "Come on. I'm taking you out." He strode toward the door where she still stood motionless.

  "You're taking me out for my birthday?"

  Magnus loved her look of surprise. He liked throwing her off balance, and this morning she was off balance. That was fine with him. He was off balance all the time when she was with him.

  "Yeah, for your birthday. Get your ass moving before I change my mind." He brushed past her and yanked open the door, gesturing her through when she hesitated.

  Did she think so little of him she was suspicious if he opened a door for her?

  They arrived at Balthazar some time later. He opened the door for her, noting her pink cheeks and shining eyes. From the weather, but he could see her excitement She appreciated everything. He loved that about her.

  He thought she'd like the atmosphere of the place, and he was right. Autumn looked around the large space filled with light and conversation. He pulled out her chair before settling into one across from her, his long legs stretching to the side as he grinned.

  He liked being with her, liked taking her out in public. Even though she pissed him off, she was everything a woman should be, poised, smart, beautiful, kind, and she didn't take shit. He should know.

  Magnus picked up a menu and glanced at it before setting it back on the table so he could study her frowning in concentration at her own menu.

  He was reminded of the last time they'd been out together. He'd been the trusted "Mike." She hadn't had her guard up. She'd been open and trusting, enjoying the moment as she'd told him about her family, six siblings all who loved, protected and worried about her, and no wonder. She looked up now to confirm his thoughts. No wonder.

  Her beauty was like an effervescent spring, bubbling up to the surface through spontaneous smiles and sparkling eyes.

  She had unguarded moments when her face lit up and her eyes radiated amusement and other emotions he barely remembered, even when she was forced to come to his offices, even when he had crossed the line. Sometimes she forgot to hate him, and he basked in those moments.

  Now those beautiful eyes glowed conspiratorially.

  "Can we get champagne?"

  He grinned. "And shock my staff when we stumble back into the office?"

  Her smile disappeared. "Oh, you're right. Sorry." She buried her pink-tinged face in her menu.

  "Autumn." Magnus met her eyes. He felt indulgent, his voice soft as his whisper curled around the table. "It's your birthday. You can have whatever you want.

  Their gazes entangled, and there in her eyes was the gratitude.

  It glowed like a beacon.

  She didn't care if she laid herself open like this, fucking vulnerable. It was almost painful for him to witness because he could never be that vulnerable.

  But with her he could be. He felt it and he was rarely wrong. She didn't try to find a weakness, to negotiate better terms. She let him know he'd already met her terms, even if her unspoken praise lasted only a short time, he'd pleased her and she was generous enough to let him know it.

  They clicked their glasses and he toasted her with a few cheesy words. Ones he knew would make her blush.

  She laughed with him all morning. She forgot to hate him and he pushed back his own resentment.

  Today they would forget and enjoy this fragile camaraderie, this moment. Make believe everything was fine, that he hadn't used her and that she hadn't thrown him back to the wolves.

  But as they were leaving the restaurant, Magnus got a text from Jamie.

  "FBI sniffing around again. Had an undercover in the club."

  He glanced at Autumn who looked back warily, a look of concern wedged in her brow. Was that guilt?

  He jabbed a return message. "I'll deal with it."

  But the day had just lost a ray of its light, a part of its misguided hope.

  He wanted to punish her, but he also wanted to own her, to make her obsessed with thoughts of him, fantasies of his tongue in her mouth, his hands on her skin disrupting her day, making her crazy and haunted like he was.

  There was more he wanted, something less selfish, but he wasn't about to let it rise to the surface. He repressed the ache, smashed it back down where it couldn't control him, but the effort was messing him up, screwing with his thinking, his emotions. He shouldn't have her there, but he couldn't not have her.

  She made him weak in ways he couldn't afford, so why did he want more of her? Losing control, surrendering to someone else's control was not going to happen.

  She could want him; in fact, he needed her to want him. He just couldn't lose himself in the process of wanting her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  "Have you had breakfast?"

  This was the third week, third day of their meetings, and something had happened. Magnus had changed. He could still be a moody jerk who traded barbs with her, but he was warmer, speaking to her with gentleness and humor, asking her opinion on deals.

  Did she completely trust him? No, but she had lost her ability to hate him.

  "Yes." She lied.

  "What?"

  "What?"

  "Is there an echo in here? What did you have?"

  She rolled her eyes. "I had...um...toast. I had toast."

  "Liar." Magnus pushed a button on his phone. "Sheryl, order an omelet breakfast and coffee for two."

  "Yes Mr. Steele."

  He crossed over to the table near the windows that had become their meeting place.

  He absent-mindedly adjusted his cuffs as he sat, leaning his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped together. He pointed his two index fingers at the other chair.

  "Sit." He commanded, holding her gaze.

  She uncrossed her arms and went to sit next to him.

  "You know, you don't have to feed me. I'm a big girl."

  "A big girl who doesn't give a fuck if she faints from starvation. You're on my time. I don't want to have to deal with your bulimia shit."

  "Magnus, you know sometimes you're a real asshole. I’m not bulimic. I just don't like to eat first thing in the morning."

  He scoffed but didn't move his eyes from her face, dropping his gaze to her lips. "Do you know how irresistible your lips are when you pout?" He mused, bringing his gaze up to search hers.

  She was caught for just a moment, forgetting all the problems, all the past. She could only feel an overwhelming need from him.

  She breathed in slowly.

  She wouldn't lose control. Not now. No matter his changes for the better, she needed to hold herself in check, keep a distance.

  "Am I here so you can analyze my appearance or so I can graduate and you can pretend to be someone w
ho cares?"

  His smile slipped slightly but then his voice was low, intimate. "You know how much I care. I've shown you with my mouth on your pussy, remember?"

  Autumn flushed, her bravado weakening, but she lifted her chin. "Have you forgotten I'm an attorney, Mr. Steele?"

  The smile stayed but he lifted one brow as he leaned back and observed her, amusement lacing his words. "I was just debating your point. I have a right to refute your claim, don't I?" He asked softly, the smile turning into a sober observation. "If you need to know anything, it's that I care."

  She stared at him, her eyes widening, before she wrenched her gaze away, blinking and looking out the window. "Well, you have an interesting way of showing it."

  "I was trying to tell you how beautiful you are, even when you're angry with me, even when you're pretending to hate me."

  He leaned forward, his gaze intent.

  "When are you going to forgive me?" His whisper was husky, and she turned back to him. Was he making fun of her? No. His expression was sincere. He was letting his walls down, for her to see him. He was making himself vulnerable. He never did that.

  A lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow past it. She felt terrible, depressed and heartbroken and looking into his eyes, the eyes she was afraid she was coming to cherish, the face she had wanted to see more than any other, was so painful, she had to tear her gaze away so he wouldn't see it.

  "I don't hate you." She distracted herself by running her palms over her lilac skirt, avoiding his scrutiny.

  "You don't hate me, you just think I'm a monster." He repeated the words she'd said to him weeks ago.

  "Yes." She whispered, but she didn't really think that. How could she when he'd been so much more to her.

  "Well, that's a relief." He said, his sarcasm evident in his hard voice.

  After a few minutes of silence when she felt his heated eyes on her and heard his frustration, Magnus spoke quietly.

  "I'm going to tell you a few things. You might not want to listen, but you will because you're on my time."

  Autumn kept her eyes averted, fighting against biting her lip or turning to him or throwing herself in his arms because then she'd remember what he had threatened to do and then she would regret her actions. She said nothing, letting him continue.

  "I have a business that I need to protect. It's taken me years of hard work to build it, and I don't want some asshole to come along and destroy it. Unfortunately, there are people who try to do that, powerful people, politicians, other businessmen, whoever. They'll harass me, sick the FBI on my businesses, and make life difficult. I've learned how to fight back. Everyone has a weakness. When someone tries to fuck with me, I exploit his weakness. I could pay them off, but I don't like bullies. They destroy people on a whim, and I won't be one of their victims."

  He paused as her eyes met his.

  "Someone told the FBI to target me. Your brother did just that, for months, setting up bugs, coming into my clubs and casinos, snooping around my construction sites. I warned them away but they didn't let up. On the night I didn't show up at your place, they raided my clubs."

  That's why he hadn't come, and of course the next day, Magnus had called Matt with the threat.

  "Did your threat work?" She asked. "Did they stop?"

  Magnus watched her, perhaps trying to figure out where she was going with her question.

  "Immediately." He answered, his eyes not leaving hers.

  "Well then, congratulations are in order." She schooled her features into something distant and professional. "Can we get to work now? I'm guessing there are even some legitimate things I can learn from you." The words were out before she could stop them. Bitchiness was becoming so easy with him, but he was trying and part of her wanted to meet him halfway.

  She was about to apologize - they had been slowly moving toward a truce - but a knock at the door interrupted her good intention.

  Magnus didn't move. He just looked at her in frustration, raking his hand through his hair before he stormed to the door and yanked it open to reveal his startled secretary.

  Once their breakfast was set up on the side table and his secretary had gone, his temper had calmed and he brought Autumn's plate and put it in front of her.

  "Eat." He said grimly, bringing over their coffee, putting the cream and sugar containers next to her.

  He watched her from over his coffee cup.

  She took a bite of the omelet and glanced at him. They stared at each other.

  "Thank you." She said politely. She almost laughed. He had blackmailed Matt, threatened to splash sex videos of her all over the internet and she was thanking him politely for an omelet.

  He must have seen the look of irony on her face because he laughed softly and shook his head.

  "My pleasure, and don't have breakfast before you come here. We'll eat together." The way he spoke those last words sent heat cascading down her belly.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  "Here, Mel, try this." Autumn held a mug out to her friend who looked miserable hunched in the corner of the couch. Her face was pale, her eyes red and she held a tissue to her nose as she sniffled and squinted at the cup suspiciously.

  "What is it?" She croaked.

  "It's just throat coat tea, a little extra honey and a squeeze of lemon. It's good for you." Autumn assured her, rolling her eyes in amusement as Amber took the mug between her hands and peered warily inside.

  Her friends were used to her concoctions. Whenever one of them got sick, she had some cup of ginger, lemon and honey tea or a dish of strawberries and blueberries, depending on the ailment. They usually worked, but all of her friends still looked at everything she gave them with suspicion, as if she were foisting some lab experiment on them. She went to rub Amber's shoulders as the sick woman sipped her tea.

  Melissa sat on the other end of the couch while Dylan and Brent sprawled in two comfy chairs watching a Knicks game.

  "The Knicks?" Autumn groaned. "Really? Isn't there a Warriors game on tonight?"

  Dylan chuckled. "Yeah, against the Heat. I thought watching the Knicks would be better than you getting all hot and bothered after Miami slaughtered the babies from the Bay." He shrugged, then grinned. "But the more I think about it, it would be excellent foreplay."

  The two other girls rolled their eyes. "Give it up, Dylan." Amber grimaced as she was wracked with another cough.

  "Drink." Autumn ordered winding her hair into a ponytail. "Guys, I'm putting on a Jane Austen for Amber. If you want to stay, you're welcome to it, but if Jane makes you run screaming into the street, there's that too."

  The two men snickered. Brent looked over at Melissa. "I'm staying."

  Dylan glanced at Autumn, waggling his eyebrows, and she sent him a warning look. Brent had a thing for Melissa who was now doing what she usually did with Brent, dropping her eyes and blushing. What century was this?

  Autumn wondered when they were going to finally get together. They were stalling like they were crushing middle schoolers.

  Dylan stood up. "I got it." He sighed as if it were a huge imposition to watch a chick flick.

  "Jane's movies are all in front." She told him before going into the kitchen.

  Dylan bent to scan the DVDs. "Which one? P&P? Emma? Uh, Persuasion? S&M? Oops, I mean S&S?" He grinned as Amber attempted to launch a pillow at him.

  "Emma." Amber choked as she struggled to repress her cough.

  After Dylan put in the movie, he went to help Autumn, sauntering into the kitchen and leaning against the sink as he watched her.

  She felt his hands at her waist, turning her around. She arched an eyebrow at him, but he only slid his arms around her, obviously less than intimidated by her attempt at sternness. She lay her palms on his chest and was about to push him away.

  "Why don't you let me make love to you, mia princesa?" He gave her a pout, and she cupped his face, squeezing his lips into a fish face.

  He was so devastatingly adorable, rich brow
n eyes and tousled dark brown hair. How is it that she could be faced with such male beauty and not be sexually attracted to him?

  Unfortunately, she was attracted to only one man, the one man she would not allow herself to have even though she worked with him three days a week and was more and more drawn to him.

  "Because you would treat me like a piece of ass, and I couldn't bear it." She said instead of telling him what he probably knew but certainly wouldn't want to hear actually spoken.

  "I wouldn't." He protested. She unclasped his hands at her back, went on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, and stepped back to the counter to finish the drinks.

  "Now help me with these drinks."

  Just as they were on their way to the living room, there was a knock at the door and Brent hopped up to get it. As she set the mugs on the table, she turned and froze.

  Magnus stood in the doorway, his jaw clenched as he took in the scene and of Dylan next to her.

  "Magnus." She stood for a few seconds surprised. "Um, come in."

  He stepped in, his long navy coat and black slacks making him look classy and handsome as her body began shivering at his proximity.

  She closed the door and ushered him into her room, while Dylan tracked him, his arms crossing.

  "Dylan, can you pass out the drinks?" She popped her head out.

  "Sure, baby." He answered, purposely using the endearment. Autumn looked at him in exasperation and closed her bedroom door.

  She clasped her hands together and looked up at Magnus who was scowling.

  "Is he your boyfriend?" He demanded, shoving his hands into his pockets, looking sullen and irritated.

  Autumn gaped. "No, he's a law student. Just a friend. He was with me in Brooklyn, remember?"

  "Yeah, I remember." Magnus bit out, glaring at her.

  He turned and stood at her window. "You sure get around, Autumn."

  A sharp pain twisted in her stomach. "If you think he kissed me in the elevator, you're wrong. He fools around like that. It's harmless. I've already set boundaries with him." She shook her head. "Why am I even explaining this to you?"