Excuse Me, First Love (College Daze #1)

by Danielle Burton

  “I thought we didn’t keep secrets.”

  Her eyes narrowed to slits. “I’m telling you because I want to, not because you guilted me into it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Haikeem.” She said the name like I should’ve have known who it was.

  A quick search of my memory bank came up dry. “Who’s Haikeem?”

  “From yesterday. Our waiter.”

  My fists clenched involuntarily. “You mean Sir Douche Bag?”

  She lowered her brows, frowning at me. “Stop it.”

  “Stop what? Telling it like it is?”

  “Keem is nice.”

  “Oh, he has a nickname now? Was he nice yesterday when he was staring at you like he wanted to rip your clothes off and do you on the table?”

  She rocketed from her seat and glared down at me, her neck and chest growing red and splotchy. Her fair complexion and sensitive skin made it hard to hide her emotions. This wouldn’t be the first time she’d broken out in a rash from her anger at me. “No. He was nice when your girlfriend showed up and you pretended I didn’t exist.” She snatched up her bag and made a beeline for the door.

  I was out of my seat chasing after her a second later. “Gabi, wait.” I stepped in front of her, cutting off her path. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’re an ass.”

  “I know.”

  “Well stop it. I don’t care for Brooke, but you don’t see me bad mouthing her in front of you.”

  My gaze dropped to the linoleum. She had me there. She’d been nothing but cordial when Brooke had interrupted our breakfast. And that was after Brooke had called her a name. “I’m sorry.”

  She rolled her eyes and looked away from me. “Whatever.”

  “For real. I’m sorry. For this and for standing you up.” I poked the tiny dent in her chin, knowing she hated it. “Forgive me?”

  She slapped my hand away, and folded her arms with I thoughtful look on her face. After what seemed like an eternity she finally spoke. “I guess…but you better not do either again, especially the second one.”

  Smiling, I pulled her into a tight hug. “I won’t. I promise. Still love me?”

  She groaned into my shoulder and I just knew she was rolling her eyes. “Yes, you big stupid-head.”

  “Good, now come back to lunch.”

  “Can’t.” She pulled away and lifted her wrist to indicate the time on her watch. “I have a class.”

  “Okay. DK later?”

  She shook her head. “I have plans.”

  I crossed my arms, fighting a frown. “You’re going out with him?”

  “Jay.” There was an edge to her voice and her eyes began to narrow.

  I raised my hands in surrender. “Just a question.”

  “Mmhmm.” She looked at me sideways as she turned to leave. “Yes. I have to go now. I’ll call you after.”

  When I made it back to the table Cam and Benji were in the middle of their usual banter. Benji trying to talk her out of her clothes and her assuring him she’d die before she ever let him touch her.

  “Why not?” Benji was asking.

  “Self-respect for one. Second, standards. Even if I were a prostitute, you couldn’t pay me to let you stick your filthy dick in me.”

  Benji’s smile fell away, his eyes darkened and his fist clenched on the table.

  I could see him spiraling a mile away. This wouldn’t end well. “Cam, lay off him.”

  “Excuse me, he’s the one always –”

  Benji stood and walked away without another word.

  Cam rolled her eyes. “He is such a child. Dishes it out but runs when the heat is on him.”

  “Benji’s not a bad guy. Sure he’s got issues, but deep down –”

  “He’s whorish and nasty, not to mention he has absolutely no respect for women.”

  “You don’t know him.” Gabi’s friend or not, Benji was family. I wasn’t going to sit here and let her insult him when she didn’t know a thing about him.

  “Whatever you say.” She collected her things and left.

  I sat there in solitude, my thoughts flickering to Benji. He’d probably skip the rest of his classes and head straight to the bar. Why’d she have to say that word?

  ~ ♥ ~

  I caught Benji as he was leaving the dorm. I was going to be late for class but it was worth it. “Where are you going?”

  “To mind my business. How ‘bout you do the same?” He brushed past me and kept walking.

  “Does it even help?”

  He stopped and looked over his shoulder. “What?”

  I risked moving closer, knowing he could bolt at any second. “Once you’re sober, your world goes back to normal right? So what’s the point?”

  “Why does anybody get drunk, Jay? To forget.”

  “Well, forgetting doesn’t seem to be helping much. I think you should talk to someone. A therapist maybe.”

  He scoffed, shaking his head. “That shit is for white people.”

  “You’re half white.”

  A deep scowl claimed his face. “Fuck you, Jay.”

  I just shook my head at him. “That right there is the problem with the black community. We like to brush off things like mental illness like they don’t affect us. Just think how much better we’d be as a whole if we accepted our problems and actually did something to fix them.”

  “Man, whatever.” With that he turned and walked away, what he always seemed to do when things got tough.

  Maybe I was wrong to throw his ethnicity in his face, but he couldn’t keep pretending that part of him didn’t exist. Anybody who really knew Benji, which was a total of one, me, had witnessed first-hand his hatred of his mixed heritage. But I was starting to believe it wasn’t so much of what his father was, than whom.

  The rest of my day crawled by, thoughts of Benji gnawed at me. He was on a destructive path, digging himself into a hole so deep that pretty soon I wouldn’t be able to reach him. I wished I could find a way to get through to him. His future was bright if he’d just get his act together. His promiscuous ways didn’t bother me as much as the drinking. When he got this way my heart would seize every time my phone rang, thinking I was finally getting the call that he’d wrapped his car around a tree. I wanted to believe he wouldn’t do anything as idiotic as driving drunk, but it was hard to judge his actions when he was in such in state.

  Once I was back in my dorm, I called the one person I hoped could talk some sense into him. “Hey, Pops. I need your help...it’s Benji.”

  An hour later my dad sat beside me in my car while I drove to Benji’s favorite place. He’d talked me into going once, but it wasn’t my scene. We pulled up to Knocker’s and headed inside.

  Knocker’s was a topless bar with a strict hands-off rule. But of course Benji didn’t abide by rules and was in the corner with one of the waitresses in his lap. She was a chocolate sister with micro-braids flowing down her back. Her breasts weren’t bad, but way too much for my taste, not to mention fake. I’ve never been a fan of silicone, didn’t look very squeezable.

  My dad kept his gaze on the floor as we made our way over to Benji. “Your mother would kill me if she knew I was in here.”

  When Benji spotted us, he frowned then went back to what he was doing. Which was making a motion like he was about to grab the waitress’s breast, and she’d slap his hand away and giggle.

  I stood over the two with my arms folded. “Excuse me, but could I borrow him?”

  She let her eyes roam down the length of me before standing to leave, her breasts brushing my arm as she passed.

  “Get up,” I told Benji.

  He sipped his beer, which was his seventh judging by the empty bottles on the table, and pretended not to hear me.

  “Benj.”

  My father stepped past me and leaned down next to Benji’s ear. Whatever he said didn’t seem to faze Benji, as he still didn’t budge.

  My dad scowled, then gripped the back of Benji’s neck and lifted
him from his seat. Benji attempted to break away but Pops’ grip only tightened.

  Benji had no choice but to move when Pops shoved him forward.

  Together we went over to the bouncer standing near the door. My pops walked right up to him, still holding onto Benji. “Memorize this face,” he said to the man. “He’s underage, and if I catch him in here again I will shut this place down.”

  The bouncer nodded in affirmation. I didn’t blame him. He wasn’t a small guy, but my father’s voice and tall stature demanded respect.

  Once outside, my dad released Benji, who headed straight for his car.

  Pops was on him before I could blink, pushing him against the brick wall of the establishment. My dad was a former MMA fighter. He’d never use his moves on Benj, but he didn’t play around either. He held onto to Benji while I dug into his pocket, relieving him of his keys.

  Benji fought against his hold while trying to push me away at the same time. “Get off me. You’re not my father.”

  A spark of pain flashed in my father’s eyes. He’d raised Benji for half his life. Pop’s released him, and he shoved past us, heading down the street.

  I went to follow, but Pops pulled me back. “Let him go.”

  “But –”

  “You can’t help him right now. People like him, addicts, you can’t force them to stop. They have to decide on their own. Pushing is only going to make the situation worse.”

  “So what am I supposed to do? Let him drink himself to death?” I shook my head, trying to ignore the sting of the tears in my eyes. “He’s my brother.”

  “And he’s my son, but he doesn’t know that. He feels like he’s alone. It kills me seeing him this way, but trust me, I have experience in the matter. If you keep pushing him you’re only going to drive him to pull further away. He has to want to get help.”

  My back hit the wall, and I slid to the ground, a tear for my brother finally escaping. “So what do I do?”

  “Be there for him. He’s going to need you to catch him when he falls.”

  Nine

  Gabi

  Every item of clothing I owned was thrown across my bed and I still couldn’t find anything to wear. I flopped on top of them face first and groaned. Being a girl sucked. Trying to find the right outfit to send the right signal was hell.

  Cam giggled from her own bed, instead of being a good friend and helping. “You must really like this guy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this frustrated when getting dressed to see Jay.”

  I lifted my head and scrunched up my face at her. “Jay and I have also never been on a date.” Pushing off the bed, I stood and started sorting through the pile again. “And I don’t want to talk about him right now.”

  She sat down the jar of peanuts she’d been noshing on, and came to stand on the other side of my bed. “You honestly expect me to believe you’re over him just like that?”

  “I never said I was over him. I just need to do something to get my mind off him.”

  “So, you’re using Haikeem?”

  “What? No.” Sinking onto the bed, I released a heavy sigh. “I don’t know. I’m just tired of being sad and sick of wishing and hoping on a broken star. Besides, Haikeem is nice, and he sees me.” My cheeks ached from the wide grin on my face. “We stayed on the phone for hours last night.”

  She came around and sat next to me. “Talking about what?”

  “Nothing, everything. He makes me laugh, Cam. I deserve that.”

  “You do,” she said patting my hand. “I think this is a good thing. It’s better than you moping around like a sad Sally. If Haikeem makes my best friend happy, that’s fine with me.”

  Her words gave me pause and sent fuzziness wrapped in warmth washing over me. I’d never shared a close relationship with someone of my own gender. For some reason I’d never gotten along with other girls. “Awww, I’m your best friend?”

  “Duh.” She squinted her eyes and stuck out her tongue, causing a shared giggle fit. Once the laughter died down she leaned over and hugged me. “Seriously though, you are. My first and only. I hung around some girls in high school, mostly the cheer squad. They were all either fake, self-centered, or bitches.”

  “Well I can kind of be that last one sometimes.”

  She waved me away rolling her eyes. “Please, you’re as sweet as pie.”

  I almost laughed. I’m sure a lot of students from my high school would beg to differ. I didn’t blatantly attack people, but I was quick to put someone in their place. And according to my mother, I had a smart mouth. “What makes you say that?”

  “Because,” she stood and picked up my teal V-neck top. “I would’ve drop-kicked Brooke by now.”

  Yep, definitely best friend material. “Trust me, I wanted to, I only refrained myself out of respect for Jay. But she has one more time to call me a bitch before she’s limping away with a bald patch.”

  “So long as I can watch. Anyway girlie where is Mr. Keem taking you?”

  “I don’t know. He hasn’t told me yet.”

  “Oooh a surprise date. So romantic.”

  After finally deciding on an outfit, I showered and Cam fixed my hair. She was incredible at hair and make-up, but swore she didn’t want to be a cosmetologist. She continued to major in accounting even though she despised it, saying it would make for a stable career once she graduated. That was until she found herself a successful man. I wondered if those were her mom’s words or hers. It seemed we were in the same boat when it came to overbearing and controlling mothers.

  Spinning slowly, I admired my reflection. Cam had done an amazing job. Not that I was ugly before, but my hair style and shimmery eye shadow made me look modelesque.

  The knock on the door made my stomach flop just a little. It wasn’t that I was nervous around Hakieem, but it’d been over a year since I’d been on a date. And even then it’d only been once. At times I felt pathetic for my lack of experience with men. Perhaps that’s why Jay preferred Brooke.

  I shook that nonsense away, no thoughts of him tonight. For the next few hours he didn’t exist. I was determined to have fun with Haikeem, and depressing thoughts wouldn’t spoil it.

  I glanced down at myself once more before opening the door. I’d opted for a maroon colored top with a slight scoop neck and a pair of dark wash jeans. Though my phone call with him had proven Haikeem could hold a stimulating conversation, I still preferred not to be ogled. After making sure my outfit wasn’t too revealing I took a deep breath and twisted the knob.

  Keem leaned against the door frame looking as dapper as ever. Black covered him from head to toe from head to toe. Nice fitting jeans, a crew neck tee that hugged his well-developed muscles, and a jean jacket slung over his arm. “Hey Red.”

  “Hey,” I said tucking one of my spiraled curls behind my ear. Cam had styled the front half of my hair in flat twists and curled the back.

  “Beautiful as usual.”

  “Thank you.” I crossed my arms over my stomach then dropped them again, unable to remain still

  He smiled down at me and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

  I offered a gracious smile and placed my hand in his. Warm.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as we walked hand in hand to his car.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “What makes you think I like surprises?”

  His smile was dazzling as he opened my door for me. “Just a hunch.”

  Ten minutes into our drive Haikeem turned down the radio and glanced at me. “I’ve been curious about something.”

  “Yeah?”

  “The red hair.”

  Here we go. No matter where I went it was a given that someone would question my hair color. “What about it?”

  “I can tell it’s natural, but where’d you get it?”

  “My father’s a Leprechaun.”

  His laugh made me smile, it was nice. “Beautiful and funny. I like it.”

  Great. Here comes the blushing. Heat crawled over
my face and down to my neck. I started to ask him to stop with the compliments, but I enjoyed the giddiness it gave me.

  He glanced at me again. “So, do I get to know the real story?”

  “My dad is Irish and black, though somehow the red hair skipped over him and I got it instead.”

  “Cool.” He nodded while glancing at me again. “It’s fitting.”

  After another thirty minutes of driving and small talk, Haikeem turned into a parking lot and I still had no clue where we were. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. We were at a park from the looks of it, but I’m sure it hadn’t been here three years ago. When I looked over at him he was climbing out of the car so I followed suit.

  I closed my door then turned to find him frowning. “What?”

  “I was supposed to do that.”

  “A gentleman are you?”

  His mouth curled into a lopsided smile, the left side a tad bit higher. Something about it turned my insides into a puddle. “I try.” He took my hand and led me to the back of the car while popping the trunk.

  “Just letting you know, I have pepper spray and a mean right hook,” I joked.

  He chuckled and produced a large white picnic basket and a blanket before closing the trunk again. “You’re much too beautiful for me to toss in a trunk. I’d just chain you to by bed.”

  I stopped walking and arched a brow at him. Maybe I’d need that pepper spray after all.

  Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “That was creepy wasn’t it?”

  “Very.”

  He peeked one eye open at me. “Can we please forget I said that?” His caramel skin started to take on a reddish tint. It was nice seeing that I wasn’t the only one that happened to.

  I decided that he hadn’t meant to be a creep, but wanted to tease him a bit more. His blush was pretty cute. “That depends.”

  “On what?” He opened both eyes and looked down at me.

  “What would you use to tie me up?” As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to stuff them back in. Benji must’ve been rubbing off on me. Now Keem probably thought I was a freak, or worse, easy. Inside he was probably pumping his fists at the possibility of getting me back to my dorm and naked.