Excuse Me, First Love (College Daze #1)

by Danielle Burton

  From the corner of my eye, I spotted someone headed our way and turned to see who. Haikeem.

  His head hung low, and his legs moved at a snail’s pace.

  I laughed a little, considering I knew the reason. That’s what he gets for being childish. I flashed a big smile when he came near, it must’ve burned him knowing I’d had her all to myself the past few days.

  He didn’t even glance in my direction as he passed.

  I nudged Gabi, unable to contain my joy. “Your boyfriend’s here.”

  She glanced over her shoulder and rolled her eyes before turning back to the menu. “What Haikeem?”

  He took a seat on the other side of her. “Hey. You um...you haven’t called.”

  She flipped the menu page, not looking at him. “No, I haven’t.”

  “I’m sorry. I know I messed up. I did a stupid thing and I–”

  She slammed down her menu and faced him. “Are you a dog?”

  He reared back, his face contorting into a mask of confusion. “W-what?”

  “Are you a dog?”

  “No.” He forced the word out like he was afraid to answer.

  Gabi gestured to herself. “Am I a fire hydrant?”

  Dropping his head, he released a heavy sigh. “No, Gabi.”

  “Then I’d rather you not mark me as your territory. What you did was childish and uncalled for. And here I was thinking you were a nice guy.”

  He took her hand, bringing it to his face. “I am, Gabi. I was just–”

  I held my laugh as long as I could, but the fire hydrant remark was just too much. I buried my face in the crook of my arm, my shoulders shaking as I tried to compose myself.

  When I finally lifted my head they were both looking at me. Well, Gabi looked, Haikeem glared. “Do you mind?”

  Feigning innocence, I glanced down at my menu. “What?”

  Gabi’s brows furrowed, her lips a tight line as she pointed further down the bar.

  I moved over a couple seats, but stayed within listening range. Sir-Stares-A lot getting the boot was too good to miss.

  Gabi turned away from me, and Haikeem went back to begging.

  “Gabi I–”

  “You what, Keem? Decided it was a good idea to try to make me look bad? To make it seem like I’d slept with a guy a barely know? Because clearly I know you a lot less than I thought I did.”

  “I’m sorry, Red. I wasn’t thinking.”

  She threw her head back and damn near growled. “You cannot keep using that as an excuse. It’s not cute anymore.”

  He bowed his head, pushing at the salt shaker in front of him. “You’re right. I knew what I was doing. I was jealous, okay? You’re always with him, and then he interrupted us, again. That’s why I left on my own. I knew you’d choose him and send me away.”

  “Keem, Jay and I are just friends. You know that.”

  Well that stung.

  “I know. I’m an idiot.”

  Damn right.

  Gabi shook her head. “Something we can agree on.”

  For some reason he laughed at that. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I didn’t mean to upset you. You deserve better than that. I’m gonna make it up to you however I can. Can you please forgive me?”

  Was she buying this bs? The guy was a tool.

  “I don’t know, you embarrassed me and I’m still mad.”

  “Would it help if I serenaded you with a love ballad?”

  The cutest giggled invaded my ears, I had to look to make sure it was really her. I regretted it as soon as I did.

  Haikeem stood in front of her with his arms around her waist.

  She stared down at his chest and shrugged. “I have to think about it.”

  He caressed her cheek and tilted her head up. “Take all the time you need,” he said before pulling her into a tight embrace.

  Heat seized my heart when she hugged him back. I was wishing him dead when the bartender sat a glass of water in front of me and gestured to my hands. “You mind not taking it out on the menu?”

  I’d rolled it into a cylinder and was crushing it in my fists. I unclenched my hands and straightened the thick plastic as best I could.

  Gabi pulled away and shook her head. “You’re not getting off that easy. I’m busy now, so I’ll call you later.”

  He nodded. “That’s fair.” He bent to kiss her, but she turned her head, giving him her cheek.

  Good.

  Swiveling on my stool, I followed Haikeem with my eyes as he left.

  He looked at my chest as he passed and frowned.

  I glanced down at the necklace I’d chosen to wear outside my shirt today and smirked. He had to have seen its twin hanging from Gabi’s neck by now. That’s right partner, I’m a permanent fixture in her life. Your time’s limited. Keep it moving.

  I watched him until he was gone, then turned to find Gabi beside me.

  “Stop it.”

  I leaned back, resting my elbows on the bar, and grinned at her. “What?”

  “Trying to be intimidating, as if you could. You’re a big teddy bear.”

  I pulled her into a sideways hug and kissed her temple. “Only for you.”

  ~ ♥ ~

  Her hands were soft. Just one of the many things I’d discovered about Gabi in the past twelve hours that’d somehow slipped by me until now. Another was her voice. Soft with a slight rasp, sultry even.

  Thoughts and memories circled in my head, of the days before she went away and the weeks since she’d returned. Things that could’ve been, but never were. I’d been trying to sort through my tangled web of emotions all day, again wondering if my sorrow and impending loss was bringing forth once buried feelings. Or was if I was a fool to believe I could ignore something that had never left me.

  Pain radiated in my heart, each thump a struggle. None of it mattered. She had Haikeem now, and I had...nothing.

  Gabi nudged my leg to gain my attention. Her forehead creased as she studied me. Like a true best friend, she didn’t waste her breath asking questions she already knew the answers to. Instead she leaned over and hugged me, whispering two simple words that meant everything. “I’m here.”

  I held her close, enjoying the pitter patter her touch gave my heart. “Sorry I’m no fun.”

  She pulled back and pressed the softest kiss to my cheek, a fraction of an inch from my lips.

  Something stirred inside me, coaxing my face closer to hers. Only air greeted me, she’d already turned away.

  “It’s okay. Why don’t we peddle back to shore? Then we can go see your parents.” Not waiting for a response, she pumped her legs, moving the boat forward. “Um, help. You’re heavy.”

  Once at my parent’s, we all sat down to a chicken and rice casserole Pops had made. My mom was having a good day, and was actually able to get down a few bites. I wanted to rejoice at that little fact, but couldn’t. I didn’t want to pretend things were normal, I needed them to be. I needed my mom to be healthy and not dying. I needed Gabi to…I just needed Gabi.

  As if sensing my soul reaching out to hers, she grasped my hand under the table, giving it a tight squeeze.

  I forced my focus onto the conversation going on around me, when my father spoke my name.

  “Jay tells us you have a boyfriend, Gabi. Is that true?”

  Her face flushed in an instant, and her eyes darted to me. I was so gonna get it later. “Um, I wouldn’t exactly call him my boyfriend. We’re just um, hanging out. Nothing serious.”

  His gaze shifted over to me. “And my son is looking out for you right? Making sure those knuckle heads keep their hands to themselves?”

  I nudged Gabi’s shoulder with mine before she could reply. “Don’t worry, Pops, I’m protecting her virtue.”

  She turned to me with her face scrunched up. “Excuse you, but I can protect my own virtue just fine.”

  “That may be true, but I do it better.” I leaned over and placed a loud, wet kiss on her cheek.

  She leaned her head back,
rolling her eyes. “Men.”

  This elicited a laugh from my mom. “Tell me about it.”

  I smiled watching the two most important women in my life share a laugh. It was nice seeing my mom give Gabi something she could never get from her own.

  After dinner my parents and I sat in the living room talking about school. We were going over options for my specialty once I graduated. I didn’t know what I wanted to do yet. I’d considered pediatrics, but wasn’t sure it’s be something I was passionate about. I was in no hurry to decide anyway. It would come to me.

  Gabi had disappeared somewhere soon after we ate. I wanted to go check on her but I also wanted to enjoy this time with my mom when she wasn’t too tired to hold a conversation or even sit up.

  The doctor had given her six months to a year but it felt like she was slipping away already. In the few days I’d spent here earlier in the week she hadn’t been able to keep anything down and her mood changed like the directions of the wind. One minute she was all smiles and the next inconsolable.

  I could tell my father was trying to be strong for her, for all of us. His worrying worried me. I didn’t want to lose him, too. Science proved that a person could die of a broken heart. As much as my father loved my mother, his had to be shattering into a thousand pieces. I knew mine was.

  I scooted closer to my mom and hugged her. “Maybe I’ll follow in your footsteps and choose Obstetrics.” My mom wasn’t a M.D. but the best damn OB nurse River Crest had ever seen. Patients often sent her gifts of thanks instead of their doctors.

  That brought a smile to her face. “That’d be nice, baby.”

  She got tired a while later so my dad took her up to bed. After getting her settled, he headed for the basement which was his designated ‘man cave’. As he passed me in the kitchen I caught a glimpse of the moisture in his eyes I was sure he was trying to prevent me from seeing as he rushed by.

  I grasped his shoulder before he could descend the steps.

  He stopped but didn’t turn around.

  I didn’t say anything because I knew he wasn’t big on words, or emotions. Instead I gave his shoulder a squeeze, letting him now I was there if he needed me.

  He gripped my hand and nodded before continuing down into the darkness.

  Thirteen

  Gabi

  Having dinner with Jay’s family and seeing how genuine their love was for one another left me feeling down about my relationship with my own family. Namely my mother. So in an attempt to follow Jay’s advice to try to bond with her, I’d gone up to his room to Skype her.

  Memories of what I’d just witnessed filled me with hope that maybe this time would be different. We’d connected more than five minutes ago and the only time I’d seen her face was when she’d first answered. Since then she’d been looking down, clacking away at her keyboard. I could only assume that she had the Skype box minimized or shoved off into the corner of her screen while she worked.

  “Mom? I asked how you’ve been.”

  She blew out a breath through her nose, still refusing to acknowledge me with her eyes. “As you can see, Gabrielle, I’m busy. What is it?”

  “Nothing, Mom. I just wanted to talk.”

  She finally lifted her gaze, and in doing so, frowned. “Instead of calling me for ‘nothing’, you should be running a flat iron through that hair, or better yet, a relaxer.” She leaned back in her chair and flipped her bone straight black hair behind her shoulder. She then gazed at me through her glasses which sat poised on the tip of her nose. A thousand miles away and she still succeeded at making me feel as insignificant as a tick.

  “Honestly Gabrielle, don’t you get tired of running around looking like you live in a jungle? It’s no wonder you never turned any heads in high school. Boys, or men rather, like women who take pride in their appearance.”

  Heat rose beneath my skin, snaking its way into my chest. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror above Jay’s dresser. My hair was a bit frizzy, but only because we’d gotten caught in the rain on the way in. It still held most of the curls from the style Cam had done. But of course my mother would find a way to insult me no matter how I looked.

  Growing up there was always something about me that displeased her. My hair was too wild. I was too skinny. I dressed like a boy. She’d forever point out my worst flaws as if there was nothing about me worth loving. Weren’t mothers supposed to love you without condition?

  She must have taken my silence as a free for all because she continued, each word sinking me further into my chair. When she started in on the sweatshirt I was wearing, I’d had all I could take.

  Sitting tall, I closed my hands into fists on top of the desk. “Why do you hate me so much? Why am I never good enough for you?” Tears came despite me begging them not to.

  My mom’s eyes widened for a second before her face took on its signature expression when she’d ‘had enough’. Her lips formed a straight line and her nose turned up like she’d smelled something rotten. “Again with the theatrics, Gabrielle? The way you behave you’d think you were majoring in theater instead of astrology.”

  “Astrophysics,” I mumbled. That was another thing. Whenever I’d ask the tough questions, or we’d get into an argument, she’d accuse me of over dramatizing things. As if I’d imagined her treating me like an unwanted stepchild instead of her own daughter.

  She corrected her glasses, and sat up straight. “I have a lot of invoices to get through before Monday. Was there something you needed?”

  I shook my head at her, sighing in defeat. “No, Mother, I don’t need anything from you.”

  The session ended without another word from her.

  I slammed the laptop shut and gave into the pain of her cruel words. My chest heaved and tears rolled unheeded down my cheeks.

  The door creaked behind me, and I hurried to scrub away the wetness on my face with the sleeves of my shirt.

  Jay’s presence hovered over me, and then his hands seized my shoulders. His fingers worked at the tension, washing my worries away for the moment. “What are you doing up here by yourself? You okay?”

  “Yes.” I sniffled once more and folded my hands in my lap.

  He spun the chair to face him and stooped down in front of me. “You don’t look okay. Why are you crying?”

  “I’m not. Do you see any tears?”

  He stared up at me with those dark chocolate eyes, a slight smirk on his lips. “I don’t need to see any. I know you, Gabi. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

  “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I wrung my hands and looked everywhere but at him. He had enough on his plate right now without having to deal with my drama.

  He stood and motioned for me to stand. When I moved, he took my seat then pulled me onto his lap.

  Déjà vu hit me like a ton of bricks as one of his arms looped around my waist and his hand rested on my thigh. “Come on now, tell Daddy what’s bothering you.”

  I reared back and gawked at him. “Daddy?”

  He shrugged. “Or Papi, whichever you prefer.”

  I’m pretty sure he was joking, but he didn’t laugh or smile. Instead he leaned back and waited for me to speak.

  I let it slide, for now, and stared down at his chest, tracing the embroidery on the breast of his shirt. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems, not with what you’re already going through.”

  He crooked his finger beneath my chin and tilted my head up so I’d look at him. “Just because I’m going through something doesn’t mean you can’t come to me. What kind of friend would I be to deny you my shoulder? Your stuff matters,” he tapped the tip of my nose, “And your thangs.”

  I giggled at the TV show reference, and then relaxed into him, searching his face before speaking again. “I talked to my mom.”

  “Yeah?” He raised a brow, knowing I hadn’t spoken to her since I’d arrived in River Crest.

  I nodded and dropped my gaze again. “She doesn’t want a relationship with me. She hat
es me.” The tears tried to resurface, but I forced them back down.

  His hand moved up and down my leg, the heat of his touch comforting me. “Your mom loves you, Gabi. She just has a funny way of showing it.”

  I shook my head. “No Jay, she doesn’t. I’ll never fit into the neat little mold she wants me to, and honestly, I’m tired of trying.”

  We sat in silence for a long while, him staring at me, me pretending not to notice.

  He lifted my chin again and looked into my eyes. “If she can’t see what a gift you are then it’s her loss. You’re amazing, Little Red. I love everything about you.”

  I blinked a few times, trying to discern why that ‘L’ word seemed so different all of a sudden. “Like what?”

  The corners of his mouth lifted into a dimpled smile. “Didn’t you hear me? Everything. Right down to that adorable little dent in your chin,” he said, tapping it with his index finger.

  I leaned against his chest to hide my blush and reveled in the feeling of being in is arms, the one place in the world I knew I’d always be safe and cared for. A couple hours passed of us conversing on topics both deep and trivial while Jay traced lazy patterns on my leg.

  He leaned back and yawned, stretching his long body. “Ready to get some sleep?”

  I nodded, even though I’d rather stay on his lap.

  When I stood he grimaced. “Good, my leg fell asleep an hour ago.”

  I poked at his thigh which had to be all prickly and giggled when he swatted my hand away. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  He shrugged, and then stood clutching his leg.

  I shook my head at his goofy butt. “I have to go grab my bag from the car. I forgot it earlier.” Thunder rumbled as soon as the words left my mouth, reminding me of the horrible storm still going strong.

  “You’re gonna get soaked. Just grab a shirt from my dresser.”

  I glanced at the dresser then looked up at him with my mouth twisted to the side. His behavior had been strange all week. Since our playful morning in bed a few days ago, he’d been...odd to say the least. I’d catch him staring at me, but instead of looking away when caught, he’d wink. He seemed to hug me tighter and longer. Hold me close during movies, which in itself wasn’t new, but the way he’d caress my arm or stroke my hair was.