Pause (ROCK HARD Book 2)

by Kat Mizera

I nodded. “One of the Sidewinders’ wives is a travel agent,” I said. “I’ll get the info from Zaan and call her first thing tomorrow.”

  “I’m excited.” She tapped her foot as if suddenly thinking hard about something. “I may have to splurge on a new bathing suit though, because it seems like my first time in the Caribbean deserves something new.”

  “We can go shopping.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “You’ll go shopping with me?”

  “Bathing suit shopping? Aye.”

  We were still laughing when my phone rang and my mother’s name flashed on the screen of my phone. Again, in just a few weeks? This was odd and I frowned as I accepted the call.

  “Hallo, Mum.”

  “Stu, it’s about Gran.”

  My chest tightened and I immediately sat up straight. “What’s happened? Is she all right?”

  “She’s had a heart attack and is in the hospital.”

  “How bad?”

  “We don’t know. It just happened a few hours ago. We’re waiting for the doctor to come out. It’s bad, Stu. I know you’re still on probation, but you might want to come.”

  I wasn’t supposed to leave the country while on probation, but my lawyer could probably make arrangements for something like this.

  “I have to talk to my lawyer,” I told her. “Let me make some calls. Call me if you get any updates.”

  “All right, love.”

  I disconnected and stared at Lindsay for a minute.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes searching my face.

  “My grandmother. She’s had a heart attack. They don’t know how bad it is.”

  “Oh, no, I’m so sorry. What can we do?”

  “I don’t know. I have to talk to my lawyer. I’m on probation for four more months, and technically not supposed to leave the country, but I think they’ll allow it for this.”

  “Maybe Madeline can help,” she suggested. “You want me to call her? Is she still here? I know she was here earlier…” She got up and started to look around but I tugged at her hand, pulling her back down beside me.

  “I can’t do anything before nine a.m.”

  “You should book a flight. Maybe a red-eye tomorrow night? Worst-case scenario, you have to cancel but you should have it so you can leave the minute you get permission.”

  She had a point.

  And I had an idea.

  “Lindsay?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Would you like to go to Scotland with me?”

  19

  Lindsay

  The next forty-eight hours were insane. Stu had to get documentation from the hospital in Scotland verifying that his grandmother had been admitted after having a heart attack, my mother had to overnight me my passport and some clothes, and Lexi had let me go shopping in her closet for a larger suitcase and a few accessories like scarves and hats, since it was much cooler in Scotland. Even though it was summer, the average temperature was much lower than what I was used to and I hoped the denim jacket and raincoat my mom had sent would be enough.

  I hadn’t known what to expect when Stu got the call about his grandmother, but I definitely never expected for him to ask me to go with him. I’d never been to Scotland—hell, I’d never been anywhere outside of North America—and going with him sounded incredible, despite the circumstances.

  “I don’t need to do any kind of sightseeing,” I’d told him on the flight over, “except I’m going to need to see the Loch Ness monster.”

  He had snickered. “Loch Ness isn’t far from where I’m from, so we can do that. I don’t know how much time we’ll have, depending on how Gran’s doing, but I promise to take you there and a few other places I think you’ll enjoy seeing.”

  “Don’t worry about me, I’m teasing,” I’d said, squeezing his hand.

  “You don’t think I’ll take you all the way to Scotland without showing you around a bit, do you? I love my country and it’s rich with history and culture. I’ll do my best to show you what I can.”

  “Let’s focus on your gran.”

  We got to Edinburgh at ten in the morning and Stu rented a car. It would be easier to drive the three hours to Dingwall, which was just outside of Inverness, than to get on another flight, so that’s what we’d done. I was tired but excited even though I tried to hide it a little since Stu was so worried about his grandmother.

  “I’m starving,” I told him as we got on the road.

  “Me too. We’ll stop somewhere close to the motorway. Do you mind if we get takeaway?”

  “Not at all.”

  We were quiet for most of the drive and I spent time marveling at the lush, green countryside and beautiful scenery. It drizzled for a while and then the sun came out, but as soon as we passed the signs indicating we were close to Dingwall, there was no doubt Stu tensed.

  “You okay, babe?”

  “Haven’t been home in a long time,” he said, staring straight ahead. “It’s a bit jarring.”

  “Just focus on your grandmother. The other stuff is just background noise, you know?”

  “Yeah.” He reached for my hand, wrapping his fingers around mine. “I can’t help wondering what kind of reception I’m going to get. Gran will be happy to see me, if she’s awake, but my parents and brother, well, I’ve no idea. My brother’s gotten married and had a baby since I last saw him, but I’ve never met his wife or the child.”

  “Maybe this will be a good time to bury the hatchet and rebuild your relationship, you know?”

  He shrugged. “I feel like they need to reach out because even though I did something wrong and paid my dues for it, we’re still family. I didn’t do anything to them, yet they acted like I wasn’t part of the family or something. It rubs me the wrong way.”

  “It would bother me too,” I acknowledged, “but what good does it do to hold on to those feelings? Maybe talk it out and then let it go.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “Just easier said than done.”

  We pulled into a hospital parking lot and he took my hand as we walked inside. The corridors were busy and we took an elevator up to the third floor. His mother had told him the room number and the door was closed when we got there. Stu hesitated a fraction of a second before knocking and then slowly opening the door.

  “Stu!” I heard his mother’s cry before I saw her, and then a woman had wrapped him in a big hug. I hung back, feeling decidedly awkward all of a sudden, as Stu hugged his mom and a man I assumed was his father.

  “Linz.” He held out his hand to me and I put mine in it nervously as he pulled me forward. “Mum, Dad, this is Lindsay. Lindsay, my parents, Robert and Katy Killorn.”

  “It’s very nice to meet you,” I said politely, shaking their hands. “I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances.”

  “You didn’t tell us there was someone in your life,” Katy said.

  “It’s new this summer,” Stu said. “How’s Gran?”

  “Surgery went well. Had a few clogged arteries and they’ve taken care of her. Now we wait and see how she does in recovery.”

  “Is she awake?” he asked.

  “She’s sleeping now but she spoke to us earlier.”

  “We should let her rest now,” Robert said. “She’s had a rough couple of days.”

  “I’d like to see her before I go,” Stu said, walking closer to the bed and pulling me with him.

  His grandmother looked pale and tired, but she wasn’t what I expected. For one thing, she had bright fuchsia hair and the one arm I could see had a tattoo on the wrist. I didn’t know how old she was, but she didn’t look old enough to be a grown man’s grandmother.

  Stu looked down at me. “Would you mind if we sat here with her a bit? I know you’re tired but I just want to be here when she wakes up.”

  “Of course I don’t mind. That’s why we came.” I sank into the chair beside his and he looked over at his parents.

  “We’re going to have a bite,” Katy said. “We’ll be back this even
ing.”

  “Right then. We might be in bed by then, but if we miss each other, I’ll see you in the morning?” Stu asked.

  “Right.”

  His parents left and then it was the three of us.

  “You okay?” I asked him, taking one of his hands and holding it between both of mine.

  “It’s just odd to see her lying there so still. Usually she’s got more energy than everyone else put together. She’s always been health-conscious, you know? She’s the last one I ever expected to have a heart attack.”

  “It’s not always about lifestyle. Sometimes it’s just genetics.”

  “Ya know I’m right here, yeah?” The voice that came from the bed was a little raspy and heavily accented, but both of our heads snapped up when she spoke.

  “Gran?!” Stu jumped to his feet and reached for her hand.

  “Who in bloody hell do ya think it is?” Her eyes fluttered open and she managed a shaky smile. “There’s my wee lad.”

  “Not so wee anymore.”

  “You’ll always be a wee lad to me.”

  Their eyes met and the affection between them was obvious even from where I was sitting.

  “Are you going to introduce me to the lass?” she asked.

  “This is Lindsay. Lindsay, my grandmother, Judy Killorn.”

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Killorn.” I got up to stand next to Stu. “Stu’s told me so much about you.”

  Despite her obvious weariness as her eyes drooped a little, she smiled back at me. “What a beautiful lass you are. And please—Judy or Gran. Mrs. Killorn is my daughter-in-law.” She winked and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “You gave me a scare, Gran.” Stu held her hand in both of his.

  “Must have since you haven’t come home in a long time.”

  “I couldn’t travel, I’m still on probation, but my lawyer got permission for this.”

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “You look tired. You should rest and we’ll be back tomorrow to spend the day with you.”

  She nodded. “Talk with your father, Stu. It’s time.”

  “I will.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “You just rest, yeah?”

  “Aye.” Her eyes fluttered closed and we watched her for a moment before heading out.

  “Where are we staying?” I asked, realizing I had no idea what plans he’d made.

  “We’re staying at a place called Tulloch Castle. It’s not far from where I grew up, and it’s an actual renovated castle. I think the original fireplace was built around the year 1100 or something, but it’s a pretty cool place and I thought you’d get a kick out of staying in a real castle.”

  “I would but…we’re not staying with your family?”

  His lips thinned a little and he shook his head. “No. My parents and I have a long way to go to rebuild our relationship after everything that happened. I’m just here to see Gran, make sure she has everything she needs, and then we’re back to the U.S.”

  “You have an opportunity to start the healing process,” I said gently. “Why wouldn’t you take advantage of it? You don’t get here very often, and what better way to move past everything that happened than to talk it out?”

  “I’m too tired to think about all that right now, lass. Let’s just get checked into the hotel and relax. I’m wiped after the trip.”

  “Okay.” I let it go because he seemed reluctant to talk about his relationship with his parents. It had come up once or twice before and he always dodged the questions, as if he wanted to avoid the whole thing. I didn’t think that was healthy but I also didn’t want to nag him about things that hurt him. His past was a difficult topic, even now, and while it didn’t bother me, I wished he’d open up to me about the accident and what had happened between him and Freddie.

  “I’m paying for everything, but I put the hotel room in your name,” he said. “Just in case.”

  “Just in case what?” I asked.

  “In case there are hotel employees who know me or who knew Freddie or Freddie’s family.”

  “Is Dingwall that small?”

  “Yes and no. It’s not tiny, and it’s only about fifteen miles from Inverness, but a lot of people knew Freddie and his family. Once he and I made it big in America, we were kind of a big deal here. You know how it is, local boys get famous and all that rot. Of course, when things went bad, the backlash was pretty spectacular too. I know that’s why my parents tried to distance themselves a bit. They have to live here, after all.”

  “Your grandmother didn’t seem to care about that.”

  He smiled. “Gran has always marched to the beat of her own drummer.”

  “You didn’t warn me about the hair color and tattoos.”

  “I didn’t know about them,” he admitted with a fond smile. “Well, the hair color changes with the wind. The tats are new, though.”

  He pulled into a somewhat hidden drive and I stared at the huge old building in awe. “Holy shit, this is where we’re staying?”

  He smiled. “Yep.”

  “Oh my god, Stu!” I got out of the car, staring at the building in amazement. “This place is so cool!” There was a turret and an ornate entranceway. There was an old, arched gate that led to another area of the property and it was like stepping into the past.

  Stu carried our suitcases as we went inside and I was instantly charmed. There was a historical aura surrounding everything, with jewel-toned carpeting and a fire roaring in the fireplace even though it was August. I could almost picture men and women from five hundred years ago going about their day, without any of the current modern conveniences like electricity and telephones.

  We checked in and were given our room key. A young man appeared to help with our luggage and we followed him up to the room. Once we thanked him and Stu gave him a tip, I took in our surroundings and fell in love all over again.

  “This is amazing.”

  There was a four-poster bed, a faux fireplace, and a view of the garden. I hoped to be able to explore the grounds a little but I was trying not to get too excited about being in Scotland. Even though it was on my bucket list of places I wanted to visit, this was about his grandmother, not me.

  “I’m tired,” he said, kicking off his shoes and stretching out on the bed.

  “I’m pretty tired too.”

  “Are you hungry? If so, we might want to go down right now. If we wait any longer, I’m going to pass out.”

  “I’m not really hungry. I’d rather sleep.”

  “Then let’s do that.” He held out his arms and I quickly kicked off my shoes, took off my jeans, and unhooked my bra. I stripped down to my panties and then found my way into his arms. He moved me aside for a moment to strip out of his own clothes and then we nestled together, pulling the sheet and blanket over us.

  “It’s chilly for summer,” I murmured as my eyes started to close.

  “Aye, but it’s warm here with you.”

  “Mmm.”

  I was almost asleep when I heard him whisper, “Thank you for being here with me, Lindsay.”

  I thought I said, “You’re welcome,” but I wasn’t sure.

  20

  Stu

  After showers and a fantastic true Scottish breakfast, Lindsay and I headed back to the hospital. A good night’s sleep, morning sex, and food gave me the energy to face whatever my family had in store for me. My parents had been somewhat quiet and laid-back last night, but I had no doubt there would be discussions, questions, and probably conversations I didn’t want to have. They’d grill me about Lindsay, lay on the guilt about leaving Scotland for the U.S., and probably remind me what a terrible thing I’d done in killing Freddie.

  Much of this stuff had gone on while talking on the phone, which was why I rarely did anymore, but being stuck in a room with them—with Lindsay watching—sounded miserable. Hopefully, they’d remember those Scottish manners they’d been born with and rein it in, but I wasn’t holding my breath.

 
; “Look who’s sitting up!” Mum announced as we walked in.

  Gran was indeed sitting up, pillows propped behind her, and looking a lot better than she had yesterday. Still tired and pale, but there was a smile on her face and her eyes lit up the moment Lindsay and I walked in.

  “Come sit beside me, Lindsay,” she said after we’d said hello. “I probably won’t have much time to get to know you since you’ll likely be heading back to America soon.”

  Lindsay sat in the chair closest to Gran and I saw a play of emotions flitter across my mother’s face. Her eye twitched for a moment and then she turned to fumble with something in her purse, which was a nervous habit. I wasn’t sure what was going on in her head but I wasn’t here for family drama. I just wanted to make sure my grandmother was okay, take a look at my house, and show Lindsay a bit of Scotland. Six days from now, we’d be on a flight home.

  “Tell me what you do, Lindsay,” Gran asked her.

  “I’m an attorney,” she replied. “I don’t have a job yet—I just took the bar exam—but I have two offers and I’m weighing my options.”

  “How lovely.” Gran looked pleased as punch and I couldn’t help but hug Lindsay from behind, even though I was standing and she was sitting. “What type of law do you plan to practice?”

  “I’ve been leaning toward mergers and acquisitions, but I’ve also recently gotten a taste of entertainment law and it’s a lot more interesting than I thought it would be.”

  “How much of that has to do with Stu?” Mum asked her.

  “A lot,” Lindsay told her, either not aware of or ignoring the underlying sarcasm in my mother’s tone. “I got to sit in on the contract negotiations for the band’s upcoming tour and there were so many fascinating facets I’d never thought of.”

  “It’ll be good for him to have someone like you in his life watching out for him,” Gran said.

  “We watch out for each other,” Lindsay said. “I probably wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t been paying attention the night I almost got trampled.”

  We talked about that and the band for a bit until Gran’s eyes started to get heavy and Lindsay excused herself to use the bathroom.