by RJ Blain
“It is not your fault,” he snarled, his upper lip curling up to reveal his teeth. “I think I understand why Evelyn refused to get involved. She would’ve known how the bitches back then were treated. Maybe she even knew how you’d been treated. How’d you get free? You’ve never showed yourself to be anything other than a headstrong businesswoman with no tolerance for our bullshit—but that wasn’t the problem that all along, was it? You’re not officially mated to Elliot, and you were taught your pack standing is dependent on his pack standing, and he isn’t a Fenerec. Am I right?”
My face burned, and I slid to my chin in the water, submerging deep enough to blow bubbles.
“You know, your situation with Elliot is easy to fix. The man already considers you his mate. The bond’s already there. Just snarl at everyone, tell them he’s your mate, and either let him nip you or you nip him. Trust me, you’ll figure out the rest from there without any help from anyone.”
I wondered if it was possible for a Fenerec as old as me to drown.
“Too direct? Damn it, Richard wasn’t kidding when he said you were shy. Does Richard need to just yell at you both to get on with it? Oh, wait. Were you brought up where mating bonds were part of a marriage ceremony?”
I contemplated finding out if Fenerec could drown by experimenting with Frank for a long moment. “I never found out.”
“No wonder you’re struggling. We’re taught from the start what to expect—and how to go about establishing mating bonds with prospective mates. Of course, we’ve taken a slightly more liberal approach. Most of us either sleep around until our wolf finds someone they don’t want to live without, or we court our potential mate until we’re certain a bond will form. It’s part of why Richard’s so damned touchy during the winter. He doesn’t want any female to be mobbed and forced into things she isn’t comfortable with. With so many males and so few females, he tries to keep as much of the control in the bitch’s hands as possible. If he has any reason to believe consent will be ignored when a bitch—or a male—is under the influence of wolfsbane, into confinement they go.”
“Oh.”
“So we’re right back to where we started. Richard was trying to protect you from His Eminence, a rather unnecessary precaution, if you ask me.”
With Markus, I had kept my distance, keeping to the word of my promise without letting him get too close to me. He wasn’t my choice of mate and never would be.
My wolf, without doubt or question, wanted Elliot, and she was willing to wait for me. We’d been waiting for almost two hundred years to mate.
A few days, months, or even years meant little to my wolf.
“I thought it was because I was a danger to the puppies. That I’d be in the way,” I confessed in a whisper.
“Never. Truthfully, you’d probably get underfoot in your efforts to defend them, but no one believed for even a second you were a risk to them. No, the only ones at risk were those who got too close to your puppies without your consent. Drugged as you were—and maybe still are—the real danger was you not being capable of identifying friend from foe.”
I remembered plowing into Elliot and knocking him over in my desperation to keep my injured puppies safe. “I could have hurt Elliot.”
“Oh, he’s been strutting around, proud as a peacock—rightfully so. He has an impressive collection of bruises, but you didn’t rip his head off. He’s taken this to mean you recognized him despite Richard plowing into you when you attacked, thus preventing you from having a chance to rip his head off. Then you nipped him on the flight over when he got anxious, which just added another tally to his score. No, he’s being rather insufferable about it, really. Toss the poor man a bone, Vicky. He’s grabbing at straws. Most males celebrate when they’re newly mated, not when their bitch smacks him around. Then again, most of us males enjoy being smacked around by our bitches.”
If my face burned any hotter, I’d combust. “I didn’t need to know that.”
“If His Eminence is anything like his brother, you need to know. He’s going to act like a typical Fenerec male. His behavior will be influenced because of the bond he shares with you.”
I swallowed, wondering how I could have done something as terrible as bind Elliot to me without his consent. “He didn’t get a choice.”
“I had a feeling there was something more than just guilt bothering you. Maybe you two have an accidental mating bond, but that’s okay. Maybe neither one of you meant for it take form like it did, but you both wanted it. Maybe you were, as Richard believes, frightened Evelyn would take your mate from you—but your mate played his part, too. He wanted you. All it takes for a mating bond to form is both people wanting it at the same time. It’s easier to form in moments of mutual passion, but from my understanding of the situation, you panicked thinking Evelyn had tried to claim your mate.”
“His name’s Elliot,” I snarled.
“See? You’re pretty possessive. You’re important to Elliot, too—important enough he’s been frantic because he’s terrified someone will come and try to take you from him. If you don’t believe me, ask him. Ask him if he truly wants to be with you. The only reason he’d even hesitate for a second would be from the fear of driving you away.”
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t force my voice above a whisper. “How do you know?”
“You know fear has a scent, and all we have to do is even imply he might lose you for him to reek of it. Hell, that might even be why Richard thought it wise to put you in confinement. Men who are afraid make stupid choices, and Elliot’s not immune to that.” Frank regarded me with a raised eyebrow. “From what I’ve seen, you’re the same way. You can run and hide, but you can’t run and hide forever. Try talking to him about it.”
When I said nothing, Frank sighed. “Think about it. Condition your hair, and when you’re done rinsing it out, come downstairs, and I’ll take care of untangling it. I’ll find you a change of clothes and make you something to eat in the meantime. You can decide what you want to do on a full stomach.”
Chapter Fifteen
Since Frank refused to cut my hair, after I conditioned it, I took a comb to it and yanked out the knots. It worked, although someone with more patience might have done a better job of keeping my hair intact.
Instead of regular clothes, I wore pajamas and a bathrobe. My head looked like I had stuck a fork in an electric socket, and while I’d gotten rid of the tangles, I lacked the patience to tame it into something presentable.
I found Frank in his kitchen.
He took one look at my hair and chuckled. “Oh, do I ever hope Richard checks the tracker, figures out you’re over at my house, and comes over. He’s going to take one look at you and lose his mind.”
“He’s obsessed,” I muttered. I gave the collar around my neck a tug. “I don’t suppose you can get this fucking thing off, can you?”
“If I could, I would. Your mate’s still wearing his bracelet, for what it’s worth. Don’t be surprised if you get a bracelet to match. You’ve been targeted once. You could be targeted again.”
I bared my teeth and snarled at Frank.
“His Eminence was told it’d be a cold day in hell before he could have his removed. Until Basin’s dealt with, his movements are being monitored, too.”
“I’m not the Shadow Pope.”
“You’re not. You’re his mate. Even ignoring who you are, your position in your company, and your witchcraft, you’d still be a prime target. Richard’s getting one, too, which means Alex will have one, and unless I luck out, I’ll be running around with a new piece of jewelry. Since Richard’s insufferable and believes misery should have a lot of company, my mate will get one, as will Lisa. If Richard thought he could get away with it, he’d track the entire pack.”
“I’m wearing a collar.”
“I think you need a leash,” Richard growled behind me.
I shrieked, and before I realized my wolf had yanked away control, I made it halfway across the kitchen.
Cursing, Frank whipped his arm out, caught me around the waist, and lifted me off my feet. “Are you trying to scare us to death, Richard?”
“No, but I’m pretty sure you’re trying to scare me to death. You were supposed to come to the house.” Richard flexed his hands, and I struggled in Frank’s hold. My wolf wanted to bite in retaliation of being startled. Growling appeased her far more than it did me.
“She was freezing her furry ass off not far from the lake. It was closer to here than the lodge.”
I admired the way Frank twisted the truth without even a hint of duplicity in his scent.
“She shifted?”
Smug satisfaction sweetened Frank’s scent. “Didn’t even need more than a nudge to get back to human, either. What are you doing here?”
“I thought it was obvious. I came for my bitch.”
Frank sighed and set me on my feet. “In a blizzard.”
“Of course I came in a blizzard. That’s what snowmobiles are for. You were supposed to bring me my bitch hours ago.”
“Your bitch was busy taking a hot bath and getting the tangles out of what is left of her hair. Look at her hair, Richard.” Frank took hold of my arms and pushed me forward. “It’s a disaster. Ruined. I think there are entire chunks missing. She wanted me to shave her head, but I refused. I turned my back long enough to start dinner. Now look at her.”
Richard crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes. “What do you think you’re doing, Frank?”
My wolf wanted to know, too. If the two males were going to posture, siding with Frank seemed wise. I lifted my hand to my hair, grabbed a handful, and regarded the tattered ends. “I should go shave the rest off. Most of it’s in the trashcan anyway. You said you have a shaver, Frank?”
“I do. I think you’d rock a mohawk.”
Richard’s eyes widened. “What did you do to your hair?”
Delight at the Alpha’s unease invigorated my wolf, and I smiled. “I ripped it out.”
“You ripped it out. Why would you rip it out?”
“It was tangled. How else would I get the tangles out? Frank wouldn’t give me his scissors.” I scowled. “Scissors would have made things easier.”
“I’m never coming to Canada in the winter ever again,” Elliot muttered from the kitchen doorway.
While I looked like I had been electrocuted, Elliot had clumps of snow stuck to his hair, he shivered, and his suit had frozen to him. Water dripped to the floor and puddled around his bare feet.
“Are you trying to kill him, or did you forget he’s not a Fenerec again?” Frank demanded, releasing me so abruptly I staggered. I had no idea how he did it, but Frank yanked the bathrobe off me, crossed the room to grab Elliot’s elbow, and dragged him down the hallway before I could suck in a breath. “Am I the only sane member of this pack? I must be,” he howled before disappearing around a corner.
I was grateful I’d put on the pajamas Frank had left out for me.
“Oh, give me a break. The whiney witch is fine. He only fell into the snow a few times,” Richard snarled out through clenched teeth.
I growled. “What did you do that made him fall into the snow?”
“He put up a fight leaving the puppies. I tossed him into the snow to cool his temper. He didn’t want to get into his snowsuit obediently, so I kept tossing him in the snow until he stopped putting up a fight. Got a problem with it?”
“You kept me from my puppies.” My anger and resentment surged. “You kept me from him. You locked me away. Did you only let me out because you needed me to do your work?”
I remembered the cages, the operations, and the guns I hated—the gun I hated but Richard had made me carry in Canada. I remembered wondering what was beyond the silver-ladened walls of an Inquisition compound, until the day an operation had soured and I had taken the chance to run and hide.
Richard sighed. “You were dosed with wolfsbane. It was safest for you there.”
“Safe for whom? From what?” Showing my teeth lacked satisfaction as a human.
My wolf wanted me to tear her fangs into Richard and rip chunks off him.
“Elliot is not the best example of stability right now.”
My frustrations boiled under my skin. “Neither am I!”
Realizing what I had blurted out, I sucked in a breath, my eyes widening. Richard frowned, and his posture straightened. The silence unnerved me enough I shifted my weight from foot to foot.
I only knew how to run and hide, and the realization frightened me even more that the constant, relentless fear of loss.
It didn’t matter if I went or stayed; time wouldn’t stop just because I wanted it to.
“All right.” Richard sighed, and his stance relaxed. “Your puppies are whining.”
I bristled. “Alex and Emily don’t whine.”
Snorting, Richard shook his head, headed for the coffee machine, and pulled down several mugs before checking on the large pot on the stove. “They’re incredibly well-behaved for spoiled-rotten puppies.”
Were we talking about the same puppies? I frowned, considered the hallway leading to the staircase upstairs, and calculated my chances of making it before Richard caught me. “They’re not spoiled.”
“I might be smaller than you, but I’m faster, stronger, and I cheat. Don’t even think about making a run for the door.”
“They’re not spoiled.”
“They cleaned my kitchen, Vicky. When they were done cleaning the kitchen, they wanted to know when it was their turn to cook dinner. When I told them sick puppies only worried about getting better, I was told they wanted to cook dinner, and they were supposed to have their turn cooking dinner.” Richard set a pair of mugs on the kitchen table, sat down, and huffed. “Sit. Drink your coffee. Frank’ll take care of Elliot without you hovering.”
I hesitated but took a step towards him.
“He’s probably naked and covered in soap suds by now.”
For a long moment, all I could think about was Elliot shirtless. It didn’t take much to imagine him with wet, slick skin and enough bubbles to make my fingers itch with the desire to get rid of them. “Richard!”
“You were in confinement for a week and three days. The first six days, we weren’t sure the puppies would pull through or not. We had our hands full; Elliot was the only one who could keep them calm, and once they fully stabilized and we got the silver poisoning under control, he wasn’t in any shape to go anywhere. No one wanted to find out how badly you’d react to your puppies and your mate helpless. Then Elliot was edgy, and I wasn’t sure if the wolfsbane had worn off.”
I took another step forward, and reached out to snag my mug of coffee. “You could have slipped a note under the door. I can read.”
Richard sighed. “You’ve never rutted before, have you?”
I straightened, and my face burned from embarrassment. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Vicky, you’re a very attractive woman with a very weak bond with a, until very recently, Normal human male for a mate. Your scent signature is changing. The last thing I wanted to do was get near you, have your scent brush off, and have every unmated male in the pack getting restless. Within a week, every unmated male is going to get a sniff of you and want to try his luck. It’s not an easy instinct to resist, especially for younger Fenerec. Until your bond is solidified and strengthened, males are going to be tempted.”
Shivering at the thought of anyone fighting Elliot over me, I took the last few steps to the kitchen table and sank down onto the chair across from Richard. “I thought mating bonds were sacred.”
“They are, once they’ve been strengthened. We like saying bonds can’t be broken without some significant work, but the one between you and Elliot is so weak I’m not sure how much pressure it can survive. I don’t want to see that happen, but I also don’t want either one of you forced into accepting something you don’t genuinely want, either. Most accidental pairings get caught up in the mati
ng bond, and everything sorts itself out. You’re different.”
I wondered if Richard would react in the same way Frank had when I had slipped and told him too much about my limited pack experience. If I told him, would it make a difference?
Would Frank tell him? I had no idea, which bothered me almost as much as my regrets and guilt.
Richard sighed. “Elliot’s completely unprepared to handle the influence of a rutting bitch, and he’s already off his hinges because of his developing witchcraft. With you under the influence of wolfsbane, it would’ve only been a matter of time before he got desperate to get you in bed with him. He’s ridiculously sensitive to Fenerec instincts, just like his brother. It’s winter. Fenerec have a healthy interest in their partner outside of the rut. During it? It’s a very difficult instinct to fight. Elliot doesn’t have a chance in hell of resisting you. I put you in confinement so neither one of you would have anything to regret later.”
“He didn’t want to come here.”
Richard took a sip of his coffee, and for a moment, I thought he wanted to dump his drink out over my head. “He didn’t want to leave the puppies with Alex and Lisa. He has the notion Lisa will bite them in retaliation for you biting Cindy.”
I gaped at him. “Are you serious?”
“I’m pretty sure I mentioned he’s off his rocker. I don’t think he knows which way is up right now. Lisa thought it was hilarious. Alex—my brother, that is—looked like he wanted to drown Elliot in my pool. Alex—yours—didn’t believe you’d ever bite anyone, and he was rather determined to defend your honor. I decided against telling your Alex you’d already bitten Elliot on the flight over. Emily just kept sulking because I wouldn’t let her cook dinner. My house is a battlefield, Vicky. Have some pity on me.”
“You locked me in your basement for over a week,” I snarled.
“You still stink of wolfsbane.”
“I don’t care.”
“You might care when Elliot wants to take you to bed with him, Vicky. You’re shy. There’s nothing wrong with that, but one thing will lead to another. Then again, one thing will lead to another in a week or so anyway, but at least it’d be on your terms instead of his.”