She whispered

by Lucas Chesterton

  ‘Do you���’ he starts and he can’t believe he’s about to say the words aloud but he has to know. ‘Do you care for her? My sister?’ he finally asks and her head snaps up quickly in surprise.

  ‘What?’ she asks. ‘You think I…that I like her? Theodora?’

  ‘Well I just���’ he stammers. ‘You seem like���’

  He doesn’t get to finish his statement because she erupts into a fit of giggles, her face turning pink as she holds her stomach and looks up at him in disbelief. She’s trying to speak, waving her hands and shaking her head but she’s too consumed in laughter for the words to come out.

  ‘So, I take it I am mistaken?’ he asks and she nods, catching her breath as she hands him the book she’s been holding onto.

  An Introduction to Arithmancy: For First Year Students sits in his lap and he glances up at her in confusion.

  ‘I have a confession,’ she whispers, wiping the sides of her eyes and she lets out a breath slowly. ‘I didn’t leave a book up here,’ admits Rose. ‘I only grabbed this when I thought I was going to lose my nerve and run back down those steps.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ he asks and perhaps he does but he feels suddenly like an idiot as she smiles.

  ‘I came up here because I knew you’d be here,’ she says plainly and he feels his heart leap in his chest. ‘I came up here, Scorpius, because I wanted to talk to you. I like talking to you, oddly enough. I’m not sure why you’re so nice to me, but���’

  ‘It’s not obvious?’ he dares to speak and her eyes meet his for the first time since she started her confession.

  ‘Perhaps as obvious as me having a crush on your sister,’ she says and his cheeks flush again. ‘Scorpius, I don’t know why you’d be interested in someone like me but I think, unless I am utterly mistaken, that’s what this is…right?’

  ‘Yes,’ he says, perhaps too quickly but he doesn’t want to leave her in any suspense. He’s nearly breathless as he watches her eyes light up. ‘Yes, Rose. I like you.’

  ‘Well,’ she says, this time it’s her cheeks that flush a pretty shade of pink. ‘That’s a relief. Though why Scorpius Malfoy would like a girl like me I have no earthly���’

  Her self-deprecating words are interrupted by Scorpius’ lips against hers. Whatever she was about to utter is lost then and he grabs hold of her cheek with his hand, letting his fingers graze her auburn hair as he pulls her lips closer and he is lost in this moment. He thinks perhaps it has all been a dream, a trick his mind has played on him as he sits alone in the darkness, but when he feels her hand slide up his chest and over his shoulder, he’s certain it’s real.

  And for that moment, he forgets everything except her.

  JAMES

  By the time James shows up for his last night of detention with Professor Binns, Thea is already there with her hands crossed over her chest as she attempts to scold the ghost of the Bloody Baron. Neither looks particularly willing to cave on whatever argument they’ve engaged in and for a moment James gets a glimpse of what it must be like to be a bystander to one of James and Thea’s throwdowns.

  ‘I have a note.’

  ‘You do not have a note.’

  ‘I do, it’s here and see it says I am not to be put under any strenuous activities until tomorrow.’

  ‘Convenient, little Slytherin,’ says the Baron, scoffing at the piece of paper she held in her hand and her response is to ball up said paper and through it straight through him.

  ‘What’s going on?’ James asks and both the ghost and Thea look in his direction but neither budges.

  ‘Professor Binns was indisposed and asked that I relay a message to the both of you that your detention is to be carried out in the Dark Forest this night.’

  ‘The Dark Forest?’ James asks. ‘What could we possibly have to do out there? At night, no less?’

  ‘Precisely what I asked,’ Thea hisses and the ghost narrows his dark eyes. ‘This is preposterous. And who is supposed to supervise us? You can’t expect the two of us to survive detention in the Dark Forest alone, can you? We’ll rip each other’s throats out before the hour’s up.’

  ‘That’ll be where I’ll step in,’ a voice says from behind James and all eyes turn to Professor Longbottom. Thea perks slightly and for the first time, as she straightens her posture, James notices she’s still wearing his sweater over a pair of dark trousers. ‘I’ll admit, I don’t find it so much a punishment, but when I asked Professor McGonagall for the extra help she said she had two students in mind.’

  ‘So we’re to spend detention picking weeds out of a forbidden part of the castle grounds?’ James asks, narrowing his eyes and Professor Longbottom laughs.

  ‘James, your lack of interest in herbology is almost as disappointing as your father’s. Come along. We don’t have all night.’

  Thea sends one last glare at the Baron before following them out of the classroom and James is the one left silent and she and Professor Longbottom discuss different plants and their properties for one of their upcoming projects in class. He barely listens, too distracted by the knitted sweater that engulfs the girl in front of him.

  He wonders if she knows it’s his. Normally he would believe she doesn’t except it’s Thea and it’s more likely that she wears it in spite of him. He shouldn’t give it as much thought as he does on their way outside but it’s consumed him now and he hates that he lets himself get to this point.

  The forest is dark, like it’s name, but is brightened slightly by the light of a near full moon. The three carry lanterns, summoned by their professor, along with a basket he is meant to share with Thea. He’s heard countless stories from his Uncle Ron about adventures in the forest during his Hogwarts years but for all of James’ times here, he’s never actually been inside, himself.

  ‘The moon dew should be fairly easy to find beyond the shadows of the larger trees. You’ll see the distinct glow the petals put off in the glint of the moonlight. I’ll need a fair bit of it for Professor Slughorn’s O.W.L. class,’ Professor Longbottom says and Thea glances around curiously as she nods. James pretends he’s ever seen a moon dew flower and nods his head as well. ‘Hospital wing also requested that while we’re out here we find some betony to replenish their stores. Keep it as intact as you can manage. It’s a bit tricker to find this close to a full moon, but Thea knows it’s properties well enough to spot it should you cross it’s path.’

  ‘Is there a streak of mad dog bites we should worry about, Professor?’ she asks and Professor Longbottom laughs.

  ‘Down in Hogsmeade there were a few cases reported by the villagers and they looked to Madame Millwynn to help distribute antidotes. But she ran out of betony during the last bought and since we’re out here, I thought I’d save her the trip.’

  Professor Longbottom is married, of course, but James knows there are few who wouldn’t go out of their way for Madame Millwynn. The young mediwitch had only recently started her stint as head of the Hogwarts hospital wing and she was a sight to behold. Married or not, it was clear why he was eager to help her.

  ‘Shouldn’t we split up then?’ she asks, glancing at James with narrowed eyes. ‘I think we’ll get the work done quicker if you send Potter out for the moon dew whilst I search for the betony. I bet he couldn’t even spell the word.’

  James, bated by her challenge, is about to start when they are interrupted by their Professor’s glare and she mumbles under her breath before snatching the basket from James. He follows her, reluctantly, as Professor Longbottom finds something of interest to occupy him on the low hanging limb of a nearby tree.

  They are nearly out of earshot when James decides to speak, unnerved by the silence between them.

  ‘Your mood turned foul rather quickly from the last time I saw you,’ he says and she answers with a scoff.

  ‘If one were to believe everything you said, I am always in a foul mood. Why should now be any different?’ she asks and she doesn’t bother to look at him
as she searches their surroundings.

  ‘Well you seemed in rather high spirits when I ran into you this afternoon with my brother.’

  ‘Well since then all sorts of things have occupied my temper,’ she says, her voice muffled as she disappears behind a large tree.

  James quickens his pace to keep up, still unsure how someone so small could walk so quickly.

  ‘Care to elaborate?’

  ‘Since when is my mood any concern of yours?’ she asks.

  ‘And since when are you unwilling to enter into any sort of verbal conflict with me?’ he asks, unwilling to let it drop and as she peeks out from behind the tree her eyes meet his with a glare.

  ‘Fine,’ she says, placing the basket on the ground as she walks towards him. She stops close enough that he can see her eyes are still tired though no longer hidden by the oversized frames she was wearing earlier in the day. ‘We had a deal, you may recall. A favor for a favor. And so imagine my surprise when I receive an updated list of respondents for my father’s gala and I see your name on it.’ James has to fight the grin that threatens to appear. ‘Care to explain?’

  ‘Well, I did consider it,’ he says and there is fury alight in her eyes. He’s certain if the burgundy sweater was actually her size, he would see her fists balled to match the anger bursting from within her.

  ‘And you decided the opportunity for certain humiliation on my part was not quite tempting enough to dissuade you?’ she asks him and he can no longer hide the smirk as his lips rise at the corners. ‘Oh you are impossible, James Potter,’ she hisses, turning away from him and he can’t stop his hand from reaching out as it grabs hold of her wrist.

  ‘If it makes you feel better���’

  ‘There again, with your unwarranted concern over my mood. Really Jamie, it is rather disturbing how obsessed you are with me…’

  ‘As I was saying���’ he says and this time she doesn’t interrupt, only glares up at him, her eyes burning hazel in the light of the lantern. ‘My parents said I didn’t have a choice. As enticing as the thought of certain humiliation was.’

  ‘I really don’t understand your family,’ she says. ‘The Potters, and Granger-Weasleys, no friends of the Malfoys over the years mind you, sending their children for a night of high-class frivolity at Sandwith Hall? It’s all quite curious.’

  ‘Perhaps growing up makes one forget about such things.’

  ‘Such things?’

  ‘Rivalries and unnecessary animosity.’

  She frowns.

  ‘You’re not growing soft on me, are you? I’d hate to have to find someone else to take your place. We’ve been at this game for so long, I don’t know of anyone that could do it better.’ she says, followed by a silence that James isn’t sure how to fill.

  He’s standing there, towering over her as she gives him her best look of defiance and it occurs to him that his hand is still wrapped around her wrist. He’s briefly reminded of the last time they stood this close, when she all but handed him her assured humiliation in return for his absence at her gala. He can’t admit to her that he’d already made his mind up to go even before his father had told him his attendance was mandatory.

  He tries to imagine what his life would be like without this game, as she’s called it. He’s never viewed it that way until now but perhaps it’s always been a game. Both too competitive, too stubborn, to concede because maybe he enjoys the verbal disputes too much to simply leave her be.

  But as soon as the idea strikes him he refuses, just as quickly, to entertain it, and lets her hand go as if it’s burned him.

  ‘Don’t flatter yourself, Malfoy,’ he mutters, pushing past her.

  They work in relative silence for the majority of their detention. She only breaks the silence to reluctantly advise him to leave behind the pods from the center of the moon dew so they will take seed back into the earth and grow again. James grunts in response but does as he’s told. Thea knows herbology better than most students, and without Longbottom’s guidance, he knows he’s better off listening to her than trying to muddle his way through his own guesswork.

  When they’ve collected enough moon dew to replenish the herbology stores twice over, they move on to finding the betony. Her mood sours further when she finds only a few traces of it, disrupted leaves at the base of mysteriously flowering trees. He’s certain they’ve passed a few patches but doesn’t say anything out of either uncertainty or defiance when she is to distracted by glancing at her watch again and again.

  ‘Have somewhere to be?’ he asks, when she looks for the fourth time in under ten minutes and when she looks up at him under the light of his lantern, he can see that the dark circles under her eyes have grown thicker. ‘Merlin, are you alright?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ says Thea, her voice not quite as curt and she places her palm against her forehead. She sighs. ‘I just…it’s late, is all.’

  It’s hardly 8 o’clock. He doesn’t say that because he can’t deny she looks like she hasn’t slept in days.

  ‘Are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with what happened last night?’ he asks her and her hand drops as her eyes widen.

  ‘What did you just say?’

  ‘Last night, you seemed out of it. I just assumed you weren’t well.’

  ‘I seemed out of it? The last time I saw you yesterday was at the pitch. As I recall, I was decidedly…with it.’

  He rolls his eyes.

  ‘Seriously?’ he asks. ‘Not funny.’

  He’s annoyed for only a few moments because there is no playful taunting in her eyes, only concern. She’s trying to remember, which means it’s entirely possible that she’s not wearing the sweater to spite him after all.

  ‘I was on rounds last night, patrolling the courtyard corridors. It was raining,’ he tells her, pausing as her eyes dart frantically towards the ground. ‘You honestly don’t remember?’ he asks and she shakes his head.

  ‘Tell me.’

  ‘I came around the corner, and I saw you just near the large arch under the Astronomy Tower. You were completely out of sorts, standing there in the rain, cold as ice. You looked���’ he stopped, shaking his head as he tried to rid the image from his head. ‘You looked like you were drowning.’

  ‘My dream,’ she whispers. ‘You were there, you said my name.’

  He nods.

  ‘I remember, I think. I remember the dream. I must have been sleepwalking.’

  ‘Sleepwalking?’ he says, nearly laughing at the idea. ‘I’ve never seen sleepwalking like that.’

  ‘It’s just something I do,’ she says offhandedly but her eyes don’t meet his. She’s lying. ‘It’s what the potions are for. To make sure I sleep. To make sure I don’t go wandering around the castle.’

  James remembers the potions they’d found in her dorm the night Dom had reported her for contraband. He’d thought it was strange but didn’t find any reason to doubt Scorpius when he’d explained the reason for their existence. But as she tries to brush off the incident, James can’t help but wonder if it’s something more.

  ‘I’m sure you all had a great laugh,’ she says, fear replaced by something he’s not sure he’s ever seen on her face before. But as the heat rises to her cheeks it’s clear she’s using her anger to mask her embarrassment.

  ‘I didn’t,’ he says quickly. ‘I mean, I haven’t said anything. Except to Albus.’

  He’s an idiot, he tells himself. He has Thea Malfoy under his thumb, thinking he’s spread her secret to the entirety of Gryffindor, and without pause, he’s eased her anxiety with his admission. Perhaps he is going soft.

  ‘And why not?’ she asks, doing her best to sound defiant but she sounds on the verge of tears like she did the night of First Friday even though he was too drunk to realize it at the time. She’s close again, this time it’s his doing as he steps forward and takes the basket from her hand. She clears her throat. ‘If it were me, I’d have announced it to half the school by now. Bloody flyers, bu
ttons and the lot.’

  ‘I’m sure,’ he says but he believes it as much as she does. They both know she wouldn’t. But neither knows why.

  He can see her breath as the moon appears from behind a cloud and their proximity makes him wonder where his breath ends and hers begins. It’s the second time tonight he glances down at that bloody sweater and he remembers putting it on her. He remembers it all. Her pale skin, her near lifeless eyes, the blue color of her lips unlike now. Even now in the darkness he can see that they are pink, unaided by her favorite shade of lipstick and he hates that he knows that.

  And he wonders.

  The autumn breeze whips through the trees and the psithurism causes them both to shiver. He wonders if it’s the chill in the air or the lack of space between them that causes her lips to quiver. He wonders if he’s ever seen her hair in the disheveled mess it’s in now on the top of her head, and why he finds it endearing. And he wonders if he’ll ever muster up the bullocks to tell her the sweater is actually his.

  He wonders if she wonders as well. If she wonders why he can’t seem to say anything else. If she wonders why he hasn’t told everyone how he found her the night before.

  Most of all he can’t help but wonder what will happen if this silence lasts any longer.

  ‘Ah, there you are,’ a voice disrupts and it could have been a gunshot with the way they both flinch and Thea busies her black fingernails with brushing her hair anxiously behind her ears. ‘Any luck with the betony?’

  Something is wrong with him, he thinks when he can’t even muster enough pettiness to tell him he spotted a patch twenty minutes prior.

  His nose is broken.

  It’s not entirely his fault, however, and though he tries to explain this to Alec, there is little sympathy in their captain’s eyes.

  He’s disappointed. They all are as they try to ignore the muffled cheers of Hufflepuff house beyond the walls of the pitch. They sit inside, beneath the stands and under the cool stare of Alec Zabini who would have split his broom in half had he not already thrown it across the room.