by Jade, Ella
“I know this is a lot to take in.” She sat down next to him. “I’m still getting used to it.”
“How far along are you?” He needed to relax. As shocked as he was he could only imagine what she had been going through. She had spent the last six weeks thinking he had left the country with another woman. She thought he had moved on. That he had abandoned her.
“Four months.”
“Boston,” he mumbled.
“Probably,” she agreed. “They can’t pinpoint the exact date of conception. We did have a lot of sex, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was the night of your birthday.”
“You’ll have the baby in May?”
“My due date is May 13th.”
“You’re both well?”
“We’re good. I’m tired, but that goes with the territory. It’s been a pretty easy pregnancy so far.”
“I don’t know what to say.” He wanted to be articulate and supportive, but this was huge. Life altering. He needed some time to catch up.
“You don’t have to say anything,” she said.
“I have a lot to say.” He stood and paced the small room. “I’m shocked to say the least. I’m hurt and disappointed that you didn’t tell me we’re having a baby.”
“I did try to tell you.”
“Once!” he shouted. “I get that Kenny is an asshole and he lied to you, but how could you have trusted him? After everything I told you? Everything we shared? I opened up to you in ways that I never would have imagined. I trusted you with...” Calm down. Calm down. Stop yelling at her. “My heart, Sophia. I gave you my heart.”
“I know, Paxton.” She started to cry. “Why do you think it hurt me so much when we fought that day in the locker room? I wanted you to win those games. I wanted that for you so bad. I stepped back and let you go so that you could have a clear head. The pain was unbearable.”
“Do you really think you giving me my space helped? I can’t even remember those last few games. I was just existing to get to the next win. Everything happened so fast. The series, the parade, Doc and the specialist telling me I had to have the surgery and there was no time to waste. My career was on the line if I didn’t take care of that injury. None of it mattered because you weren’t there to share any of it with me.”
“I know what you mean.” When she placed her hand on her stomach it nearly took his breath away. She had been alone too. She was dealing with a pregnancy, a new job, and living on her own.
“Why?” He sat back down next to her. “How could we have let things get so out of control?”
“I saw a picture of you the night you won. You were with Miss Texas, so I thought Kenny was telling the truth.”
“I went to high school with her.” He placed his hands in his lap, but all he wanted to do was touch her. “She heads up a charity for disabled children. Her name is Carrie. She was at the game with a few of the kids. I also took pictures with some of the kids that night. I made a donation to her cause. Didn’t you see any of that in your search?”
“I didn’t try very hard,” she mumbled. “It only took Kenny’s lies and that one picture to place all of that doubt in my head. I didn’t want to see anything else.”
“I wish you would have trusted me.” After everything he had confessed to her during the time they were together how could she not have trusted him?
“You told me you needed space. How was I supposed to know that space didn’t include other women?”
She continued to twist that dagger into his heart. It started that night in the locker room. She hadn’t realized how much she’d crushed his hopes and dreams, and he still didn’t think she had any idea.
“This whole relationship was new to me. I thought I was doing a pretty good job with it. We were happy.” He had plans for them. He was waiting for the season to end.
“We were very happy.”
“One argument shouldn’t have led to this.” How did things spiral so out of control?
“I understood what happened that night you asked for space. I watched you win the series. I texted you because I was so proud of you.” She looked frightened, but she continued to speak. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks. Although I was devastated when you said you needed a break to get through the series, I got where you were coming from.”
“I’m stubborn.” He never should have left her that way. “I was wrong.”
“We both made some mistakes. I should have trusted you, but something Kenny said keeps coming back to me.”
“Forget about everything he said.” His friend was going to hear from him. No matter how good Kenny thought his intentions were he never should have interfered. Pax would have a hard time forgiving him for this.
“I think it would be best if we got everything out into the open. Kenny said it wasn’t about my car breaking down. It sounded as if you opened up to him. He acted as if he knew something.”
“He was right,” Pax said. “It wasn’t about your car breaking down or even that you missed that game. Of course I wanted you there, but shit happens. If you remember I tried to get over it. I wanted to put it behind us but then...” He hated to rehash that night. Bringing up how he felt wasn’t going to solve anything,
“What? Tell me what made you leave me.”
“You ripped my heart in two. It was as if I’d been punched in the gut. I couldn’t catch my breath.” He’d tried to bury his feelings. Wanted to believe he had overreacted and let the anxiety he had been experiencing over pitching and his shoulder take over. But no matter how much he tried he couldn’t get over it. That was part of the reason he didn’t call her right away and tell her about the surgery. He was afraid she might reject him.
“I’ll never forgive myself for not being there,” she said. “We blew things way out of proportion. Please tell me what I did that night that made you run in the opposite direction.”
“It all seems so stupid now, especially with...” He glanced down at her stomach. “We have bigger issues to deal with.”
“We can’t move forward unless we deal with what happened.”
“I asked you to come with me but you couldn’t.”
“You know why I couldn’t, but now I realize that I should have made it work. When I watched you pitch that last game I wanted more than anything to be there with you to celebrate that special moment in your life.”
“I kept hoping you’d show up. I wanted you to surprise me in my hotel room like you did that night in Boston. The night we created a life.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“It wasn’t just that.” He figured he might as well get it all out. She said she wanted to move forward and he was there to secure a future with her. “I made a comment about you being my wife.”
“I remember.” She looked down. “I said I wasn’t your wife and that’s why I didn’t have to go with you. I didn’t mean that.”
“That was the last straw. There were too many other things going on in my life but you were my one constant. You’re the reason, Sophie. It’s as if nothing is real unless I share it with you first.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I overreacted and let myself get caught up in the moment. Had it been any other time I would have taken a step back. I would have come after you.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don’t know how much I regret not coming after you. I fucked up.”
“We both fucked up.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I think I may have screwed up way more than you did.”
“You did keep a really big secret from me.” He took her hand. “I get why you did. You thought I’d betrayed you. I swear there hasn’t been anyone since the night I saw you in that bar. You’re it for me.”
“Things are so different since the day we first met. We’d been having fun and managing with your schedule. We had plans to really get to know one another in the down season.”
“We can still do that.”
�
�But I’m having a baby.”
“I see that.” He grinned when he imagined a baby in their lives. “Quite unexpected, but no less amazing.”
“You want... I mean you...” She sobbed. “I didn’t think...”
“That I’d want our baby?” He took her face between his hands. “I didn’t expect to come home to find you like this but I wouldn’t walk away.”
“This isn’t what you came home for.”
“You haven’t been listening, sugar. I said I came home to fight for us. That baby is part of us. You’re both a part of me.”
“You want this?” Her brown eyes glistened with tears, but all he could focus on were those full, kissable lips.
“Let me show you how much I want this.” He leaned forward. “Can I?” He sure as hell hoped she didn’t deny him. He didn’t know if he would have the restraint to stop himself.
“Please.” She closed her eyes. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I know.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her lips to his.
As soon as his mouth touched hers she relaxed against him. For the first time since he showed up, her walls came down. She was his. He trailed his hand down her chest, over her luscious breasts and to her stomach.
She opened her eyes when he stopped his exploration. He hadn’t meant to invade her space but he couldn’t help it. “I want to touch your stomach.”
She nodded.
“Can you feel him move?” He rested his hand to her stomach.
“Yesterday there was a fluttering, but I’m not sure. My mom said it was the baby, but because it’s my first it would be hard for me to tell.” She looked down at his hand. “We don’t know if it’s a boy yet.”
“I didn’t want to call him an it.” He rubbed his hand over her bump. It was small and round. “You look amazing.”
“Yeah, that’s because you haven’t seen me naked.”
“Not lately.” He smiled. “We could fix that.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’re flawless.” He reached for the tie on her hip that wrapped the dress around her perfect frame.
“What are you doing?”
“I missed our child growing inside you.” He pulled the belt. “I want to see.”
“Okay,” she whispered as she leaned back against the sofa.
“Thank you.” He kissed her jaw, working his way to her ear as she spread open the dress and touched her exposed skin. “Just as soft as I remember. Do you know how many nights I thought about your skin, the way you smell, the warmth of your body cuddled against mine?”
Her breath caught in her throat when he moved his hand along her tiny bulge. Her breasts were fuller than a few months ago. Not that they were small before, but now they filled out her bra, overflowing from the top. He could see her nipples straining against the white cotton.
“You’re stunning.”
She sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I hated being away from you.” She kissed him hard. “The days were awful, but the nights were so long.”
“I know, baby.” He reached down and unzipped her boots and pulled them off her feet. “I’m here now, and I don’t ever plan on leaving you.”
“You’re sure this is what you want?”
“I want you.” He slipped the dress from her shoulders. “I can’t be without you.”
“I’m sorry about what happened.” The desperation in her kisses drove him wild with need. “Things never should have gotten that far.”
“I’ll never let it happen again.” He vowed to himself he would never let her walk away from him ever again.
She reached for the buttons of his shirt. “I should have trusted my heart.”
“It’s a delicate thing that heart.” He ran his fingers through her hair, bringing her closer to his face. “I’ll cherish yours always.”
“I’m safe with you.” She spread his shirt open and ran her palms along his chest and down his abs.
He closed his eyes when she leaned in and brushed her lips across his throat. He trembled as she moved lower. “Wait, Sophie. I don’t want to rush you or make you do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“Do I look uncomfortable?” She swirled her finger below his bellybutton. “You started it by taking my clothes off, remember?”
My sexy vixen.
“I want you, Pax. Today, tomorrow, forever.”
He stood, extending his hand for her. When she took it and looked up at him, he noted there were no questions or hesitation in her eyes. She wanted this as much as he did.
“Let’s go to my bedroom.”
“Lead the way, sugar.”
Chapter 23
LATE CHRISTMAS EVE Sophia and Pax cuddled on the sofa by the fireplace, gazing at the massive tree he’d insisted they needed. It had to be at least fourteen feet tall. It dominated the corner of the room. They had gotten back from her parents’ house where they had dinner with Maggie and Kyle. They’d opened presents and ate a wonderful meal. Tomorrow Pax was hosting dinner with Soph’s and Maggie’s families, and some of the guys from the team who weren’t heading back to their hometowns. Her mother offered to cook but he wanted her to have a day off so he had the whole thing catered. She and her mom wouldn’t even have to set the table. He had tended to every detail.
“It’s a great tree, isn’t it?” He propped his feet up on the coffee table.
“It’s huge.” She rested her head on his shoulder.
“Darlin’, I’m from Texas where everything is bigger.”
“You’ll get no arguments from me, cowboy.” She winked.
“There’s my bad girl.”
“You corrupted me.”
“I couldn’t be happier.” He held her close to him. “And not because you’re freakin’ fantastic in bed.”
“Good to know.” She giggled.
The past week had been light and festive. She and Pax had spent much time together reconnecting and forgiving one another.
“I had a good time tonight. My parents are glad we worked things out.”
“Your dad told me how worried he was for you. I assured him I’m not going anywhere. I told him I was crazy in love with you and I would always take care of you and our child.”
“I hope he wasn’t too weird with you. He can get a little overprotective.”
Her dad had been great when she told him she was pregnant. While he encouraged her to work things out with Pax when she was ready he also told her he’d support her decisions and that he and her mom were going to be there for her and the baby no matter what.
“You’re his little girl. He should be protective.” He placed his hand on her stomach. “I know I’m gonna be.”
“We don’t find out the sex of the baby until next week, but I can’t wait to know.” She had the opportunity to find out at the last ultrasound, but she wasn’t sure if Pax would want to know so she didn’t make that decision without him. Part of her had always hoped they’d somehow work things out and become a family. “I’m glad you want to know.”
“I would have done whatever you wanted.” He rubbed her belly. “I can’t wait to see Baby Bean as Maggie calls the kid. I want to hear the heartbeat.”
“It’s surreal. I cry every time.” She was glad Pax would be able to experience it with her this time. “Your mom will be here then too.”
“She gets in that morning.” Pax’s mother and brothers were flying in after Christmas to meet Sophia. “She’s real excited to meet you.”
“I want to meet her too. I wish we could have met before I got pregnant.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He scooted her into his lap. “She’s going to love you.”
“I hope so.”
“There’s something else I want to do before she gets here.”
“What is it?”
“I had plans this summer to do this. I wanted to talk to your dad before the play-offs but things got hectic and the Crushers kept winning.”
“What does my dad
have to do with that?” She was confused. “What did you want to talk to him about?”
“I took care of it tonight.” He slipped his hand inside his pocket and pulled out a platinum ring with a huge, sparkly diamond. “I asked for your hand.”
“You...” She stared at the ring, processing what he had just said. “You asked his permission?”
“Yes.” He took her hand which was now shaking. “Sophia Marie Ballis, will you do me the biggest honor and agree to become my wife?”
OMG! He’s proposing to me while I’m in my flannel jammies and fuzzy socks.
“I was going to wait until tomorrow when your family was here and Maggie. I had this whole thing planned, but being here alone with you, snuggling and talking about the baby, seemed more appropriate.”
“You want to marry me?”
“Um, yeah, that’s what the ring is for.” He held it up in front of her. “May I put it on your finger, sugar?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “Of course.”
“So, that’s a yes you’ll marry me?” He smiled as he slipped the ring on her trembling hand. “I’m not going to take no for an answer.”
“Yes, a thousand times, yes!” She smiled through the tears that insisted on streaming down her cheeks. “I’ve cried a lot these past few weeks, but these are good tears.”
“I love you.” He kissed her softly. “I know life with me won’t always be easy. The press will follow me and will probably insist on rehashing my past.”
“I don’t care about that. I know better now than to trust anyone but you.”
“My schedule is absurd. April to October will always be crazy as long as I’m a professional baseball player. I know it’s a lot to ask.”
“Are you trying to scare me away?”
“I’m trying to tell you we won’t have the normalcy other couples have. My job won’t allow it.”