Not Our Summer

by Casie Bazay

  As we make our way along the trail through the pines, I’m still mulling over what Sue said, but if anyone should forgive and move on, it’s my mom and my aunt. They’re the ones who put us in this situation, after all. I’m still lost in my thoughts when Johan comes to an abrupt stop and brings a finger to his lips. He points off to our left.

  “Grizzly,” he whispers.

  I squint, trying to find the bear while grabbing for my phone. Everyone sidesteps toward Johan, as if they expect him to protect them.

  Beside me, Phillip gasps. “There it is.” He points through the trees, and finally I see the dark, furry form about a hundred feet away. My heart pumps faster, but it’s more from excitement than fear. I zoom in to get a picture, but the bear keeps moving, making it hard to get a good shot.

  “It’s coming this way,” Chris whispers.

  Thanks, Captain Obvious.

  The bear lumbers closer, growing larger by the second. My adrenaline spikes, but probably not for the normal reason. “This is so awesome,” I whisper.

  “Uh, should we be leaving now?” Becka asks, her voice quiet but a little higher-pitched than usual.

  Johan shakes his head. “It’s fine. They usually don’t attack a group, and we have our bear spray.”

  “Usually?” Becka repeats, her voice rising another octave.

  The bear raises up on its hind legs and stares straight at us. My jaw drops open and I force it back closed. “That thing is a freakin’ giant!” I say under my breath, snapping another picture before it drops back down to all fours.

  Becka inches closer to Johan. What a wuss.

  “Everyone, get your bear spray ready,” Johan instructs. “Just to be safe.”

  I’m not really worried, but I take out the canister clipped to my belt loop. Sue clicks another photo, but everyone else looks like they’re about to crap their pants. About forty feet away now, the bear pauses and raises its massive head, sniffing the air. I get another picture.

  “We really should go,” Becka says, turning to eye the trail behind us.

  “I agree,” Angie says.

  Johan holds up a hand. “Not yet.”

  The bear pauses for the longest time, still looking our way. It seems to be making some sort of decision.

  And then, just like that, it turns and moves back in the other direction. The group heaves a collective sigh of relief, while I’m left with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Just like trekking into the Grand Canyon on Dixie, seeing that bear up close was a rush, and I’m disappointed it’s over.

  “Do they usually do that?” Angie asks. “Get that close to people?”

  “Not often,” Johan says, “but we see them quite frequently. As long as you don’t do anything to provoke them, you’re usually fine.”

  The bear-induced spike of adrenaline stays with me as we start back down the trail. I pull out my phone, scrolling through the photos I just took. The one where the bear is standing on its hind legs is the best, so I text it to Carter. I may not exactly be a badass wilderness woman, but at least I saw a bear, and I wasn’t the least bit scared. That should count for something.

  After lunch and another short break, I’ve gotten my second wind. I’m ready to finish today’s hike, especially after Johan informs us we might see another grizzly on our way to Elephant Back Mountain. Becka frowns, obviously not overly keen on that idea, but I’ll be on the lookout—that’s for sure.

  However, other than Ben getting stung by some type of wasp, things are uneventful. I’m kneeling to re-tie my bootlace when Sue pauses beside me. She’s like a mother hen, especially when it comes to me for some reason. “Still doing okay?” she asks.

  I stand and dust off my knee. “Yep. Much better now. Thanks.” After our conversation at the lake, I’m sort of wishing I wasn’t alone with her again. I tap a hand against the side of my leg and glance around the forest, grasping for some comment to make. It’s been pretty much the same scenery since we started. Trees, trees, and more trees.

  “I have a granddaughter around your age,” Sue says.

  “Oh yeah?” I kick at a rock in the path, sending it skittering down the trail. She hasn’t said a word about her family this whole time. I figured she didn’t have any kids.

  “Yep, and a grandson. He’s twelve. They’re my absolute pride and joy.”

  “Brother and sister?”

  “Yes. I only had one child myself. A son.”

  “I see.”

  “My daughter-in-law died a few years ago. Breast cancer.”

  I don’t like how the word cancer makes my stomach squirm now that I know someone who’s died from it. “I’m sorry,” I say, and for a moment I consider telling her about Grandpa, but that would just open the door to more stories I don’t want to tell. “So your son’s raising the kids by himself?”

  “He is, and I’m really proud of him. I know it hasn’t been easy.” She pulls out her water bottle and takes a long drink.

  I do the same. Johan stresses the importance of staying hydrated at least a half-dozen times a day.

  “My husband and I divorced when Toby was a teenager,” Sue continues. “After that, I worried he would never want to get married… or wouldn’t stay married if he did, but he loved Marissa. He was heartbroken when he lost her. Still is.”

  I stare at the scuffed toes of my hiking boots. I don’t really like hearing sad stories like this. I never know what to say about them.

  Sue draws in a breath and then pushes it out real slow. “That’s why I say forgive and move on.”

  I inwardly groan. Here we go again.

  “You never know what life’s next turn will be,” she says with a hollow laugh. “My husband and I could have learned a thing or two from Toby and Marissa’s relationship. Just because you’re older, it doesn’t mean you’re wiser, you know. That’s all a farce.”

  Being raised by my mom, I can agree with that. She’s never made what I’d call wise decisions. I look up to see that the rest of the group has stopped and are waiting for us.

  “Sorry, guys,” I tell them.

  “It’s no problem,” Johan says, “but we should stick together. In case of more bears.”

  “Good point,” I say.

  It’s also a good excuse not to get caught alone with Sue again

  CHAPTER 14

  ELI

  Hello Granddaughters,

  If you’re reading this, you must have made it through three days of hiking in Yellowstone. That was another one of my dreams. You may not be aware, but the Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem is one of the largest intact ecosystems left in the northern temperate zone. It’s an amazing place, or so I’ve heard. I really wish I could be there with you. I’ve always wanted to see the Rocky Mountain Parnassian butterfly (Parnassius smintheus), which is native to that area.

  I hope the two of you are getting to know one another by now. You’ve missed an awful lot in each other’s lives and maybe this time together will allow you to catch up. Please don’t let what happened between your mothers get in the way. It had nothing to do with either one of you.

  Katherine, we didn’t see much of each other—especially in recent years—but I’ve always appreciated your unique sense of humor and your carefree attitude.

  Becka, I’ve always loved your confidence and dedication to what you do. I regret not being able to watch you play soccer. You both are such smart girls—I know you’ll do well in college.

  I didn’t speak about your grandma often, but I wanted to take some time to tell you a little about her now. Your mothers likely haven’t had nice things to say about her, but Charlotte wasn’t a horrible person. I just don’t think she was cut out to be a mother. That’s not an excuse, but the truth. When I started refusing to leave our property, it drove her crazy. She was a busy body—always going places and doing things. She especially loved shopping for antiques. Then, after a few years, when I was getting worse instead of better, she couldn’t handle it. You’ve probably heard the term “wande
rlust.” Well, that was your grandma. I bet she’s living in some other country now, maybe Spain, if I had to guess. Please don’t hate her for wanting to live her own life. I never have. She had her good qualities, too. She was witty and smart as a whip—just like you girls. I wish you could meet her, but I have my doubts it will ever happen. I’m sorry for that.

  There’s one more thing I need to let you know. For your last two trips, you will not be flying on a plane, but driving instead. A car will be provided for you. Long Creek, South Carolina, will be your first destination, and then you’ll continue down to the Florida Keys. The best part is that you’ll have plenty more time to get to know one another.

  Until next time, sending my love,

  Grandpa

  CHAPTER 15

  BECKA

  I SHOVE GRANDPA’S LETTER AT MY MOM. I’VE BEEN home for exactly five minutes, and the first thing I did was fling all my clothes out of the suitcase in order to find this envelope in the bottom.

  “We have to drive,” I nearly scream, “together!”

  Mom examines the letter, her brow furrowing as she reads. Her mouth sags into a frown. “What does he mean, ‘a car will be provided for you’?”

  “Heck if I know.” I take off my shoes and throw them one at a time toward my closet, but my aim is terrible and they bounce off the wall with successive loud thunks instead.

  “I’m pretty sure you have to be twenty-five to rent a car, so I don’t see how this is going to work.” She shakes her head. “And this part about my mother—what a joke.” She hands the letter back to me with a sigh. “I don’t know why he always stuck up for her after what she did to us. He always made excuses for her.”

  I set the letter on my bedroom dresser as Mom moves across the room to sit on my bed. Wiping her palms on her slacks, she glances around like she hasn’t been in here for ages. All trace of irritation disappears from her face, but I’m still fuming.

  “So how was it?” she asks. “Did you enjoy the hiking?”

  I plop down beside her and fall onto my back. “The hiking was great. Yellowstone was beautiful.” A groan of frustration escapes my throat. “Until K. J. tried to ruin everything, but big surprise there.” I watch the ceiling fan twirl around and around above me. “I’m telling you, that girl is a nutcase.”

  “What’d she do this time?” Mom’s tone is apathetic, as if I’m only telling her what she expected to hear.

  “For one, she did a cannonball and nearly landed on top of me at the hotel pool. Totally on purpose. And then she kept trying to embarrass me in front of our hiking guide. She acts like she’s thirteen half the time.” I leave out the part about us fighting and me punching her in the face. It wasn’t one of my proudest moments—even if she did deserve it. Rolling onto my side, I prop my head up with one hand.

  Mom’s satiny brown hair hangs over one shoulder, and she runs her fingers through it. “Maybe she inherited some of your grandpa’s strange tendencies.”

  “She’s more than just strange. She’s… she’s awful!”

  Mom doesn’t respond right away; instead she turns to glance at the blue soccer uniform hanging on my wall—the one from my JV year when we were undefeated. That was the year I really started believing I had a shot at getting a scholarship.

  “So… when’s the next trip?” she finally asks.

  “In two weeks.” I already received an email from the lawyer. Saw it on my phone as soon as we got off the plane.

  Mom rises to her feet, and my bed creaks in response. She walks to the doorway but then turns and pauses. “At least you and K. J. will get a break from each other. And just think, after these last two trips and the rodeo, you don’t ever have to speak to each other again.”

  While this is true, it doesn’t give me any comfort. “I’d rather pull out every hair on my head than ride in the car with K. J. all the way to Florida.”

  “I’m sorry,” Mom says before leaving my room. For some reason, I don’t believe she really is, though. She’s probably just happy she’s not having to do all this crap with her sister in order to get Grandpa’s money.

  Since we will all be heading to separate colleges in the fall, Lexi, Maddie, and I have agreed on a new summer tradition: meeting for coffee a few times each month. Today, Lexi rode with me, and we’re the first to arrive at Pour Jons, so we grab a table and gab while Eric Clapton croons in the background. I continue to fill her in on the Yellowstone trip—the parts I haven’t already texted her about anyway—and describe Johan in detail. I leave out most of K. J.’s antics since I’m tired of wasting my breath on her anyway.

  “He sounds gorgeous,” Lexi says with a widening smile. “And Swedish? Oh my god, yum.”

  I can still picture the glint in Johan’s baby blue eyes. Yum is exactly right.

  “Hey ladies!” Maddie calls, making her way toward our table. Lexi and I both wave excitedly. She pauses upon reaching us. “Coffee is on me today. Whatcha want?”

  We thank her and place our orders: a latte for me and white chocolate mocha for Lexi. When Maddie returns with our drinks, Lexi leans toward her, bringing a hand beside her mouth like she’s about to divulge some big secret. “Becka found herself a Swedish hottie on her trip. His name is Johan.” She draws out his name, emphasizing the “h” sound.

  Maddie’s eyes go wide as she homes in on me. “Ooh la la. Did you get his number?”

  I offer a coy smile. “Maybe…”

  “What?” Lexi shrieks. “You didn’t tell me that. Have you texted him?”

  “Not yet,” I admit.

  “Holy crap!” Lexi says. “I better hear all about it when you do.”

  “We both better hear about it,” Maddie corrects.

  “Anyway,” I say, ready to take the focus off of myself and something that may or may not happen. “Tell me what you two have been up to since graduation. I feel like we haven’t talked in forever.”

  That’s all the invitation they need. Maddie fills us in on her new summer job—working at her uncle’s insurance firm as well as helping to coach the kids’ soccer program at the YMCA. It’s the same program I helped with last summer and would have considered again if it weren’t for my stupid trips. Then Lexi regales us with tales from church camp, where she worked as a counselor last week. She’ll be going back for another round in July.

  I’m nearly finished with my latte when the door chimes and in walks none other than K. J. My stomach seizes and I almost spit out a mouthful of my drink. What are the freaking chances? She approaches the front counter, and I slink down in my chair, praying she doesn’t notice me over here. But this place isn’t all that big, so after she’s finished ordering and steps back to wait, her eyes roam the room and, bingo, land right on me.

  Lexi and Maddie are still talking, and I’m unsure of whether I should acknowledge K. J. in some manner or not. I’m afraid she’ll come over here if I don’t, so with a grimace, I lift my hand in a wave. She waves back, unsmiling, but I still don’t trust her. For all I know, she might try to come sit with us here in a minute. My brain kicks into overdrive, trying to come up with some way to avoid her.

  “Who you waving at?” Maddie asks, turning to look toward the counter.

  “Oh, no one. Hey, you guys wanna go sit outside? It’s so nice out this morning.” It’s not exactly the best escape plan, but the only one I can think of at the moment.

  “Um, sure,” Lexi says, her brows pushing together a little.

  My friends follow my lead as I stand and head toward the front door. K. J. doesn’t say a word as we pass by, thank goodness. Outside, I wander toward the backside of the building and find an open area on the wood bench that surrounds the perimeter. Hopefully, K. J. won’t see us here and will just think we’ve left.

  “It is nice out,” Lexi says. “Good idea.”

  “Yeah,” is all I can say.

  Then K. J. rounds the building, a coffee in each hand, because of course she would come this way. I immediately pretend to be interested in the b
uilding across the street, but she saunters straight over to the three of us.

  “Hi, Becka!” she says, her voice full of false excitement. “Fancy seeing you here.”

  Lexi and Maddie look up at her, confusion evident on their faces. They’re probably trying—and no doubt failing—to place her. When I don’t respond, K. J. proceeds to introduce herself to my friends.

  “Nice to meet you,” Lexi says, always the polite one. Maddie just stares at K. J., incredulous.

  “I’m sure Becka’s told you all about me,” K. J. continues. “Since we’ve been spending so much time together lately.”

  “Not really,” I lie.

  K. J.’s eyes narrow. “Sure you haven’t.”

  I shake my head, realizing this isn’t going to play out well, no matter what I say. “All right,” I tell K. J., “you can go now.”

  Both Lexi’s and Maddie’s brows shoot up, probably because they’ve never heard me speak to anyone that way. But I’m not in the mood for K. J.’s crap today. She doesn’t budge but instead takes a sip from one of the coffees. A wicked smile pulls at her lips. “She’s probably told you guys all about the affair, too, huh?”

  My mouth drops open. Now she’s going to bring it up? In front of my friends? I never dreamed she’d stoop that low.

  “What affair?” Maddie asks, her forehead wrinkling in obvious confusion.

  The wickedness spreads to K. J.’s eyes now. “You know, the one my mom had with her dad. It’s why our moms hate each other.” She pauses, her evil gaze shifting to me. “And it’s why we aren’t exactly the best of friends, either.”

  Two twenty-something girls sitting nearby are staring at K. J., too, now, no doubt having heard all that, and I can feel the heat creeping up my neck.

  “Oh my god,” Maddie whispers, looking horrified.

  K. J. seems completely unfazed by all of our reactions. She puts on her fakest smile. “Well, catcha later, ladies. Have a good day.”

  I’m left speechless and staring after my cousin as she strides across the street and climbs into the passenger side of a faded black truck some long-haired boy is driving.