The Valley of Lost Stories

by Vanessa McCausland

  Nathalie’s face twitched as though Alexandra had hit a nerve, but she smiled. ‘Oh, don’t feel bad. It’s been a bit of a strange time but God, it’s been better than being stuck at home with bored kids.’

  ‘True.’

  ‘Let me get dressed and I’ll come over. I’m dying for coffee, too.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Alexandra, heading back down the hall.

  Emmie had assembled the kids like some sort of Maria-miracle out of The Sound of Music. They were all carrying apples and carrots and had shoes on. ‘Come on, let’s go,’ she said as she saw Alexandra.

  They walked outside, Alexandra enjoying the warmth of the sunshine on her shoulders. The garden looked refreshed; the foliage thicker, greener. Lavender spilled from pots like long purple hair, scenting the air, and the grass licked the children’s legs, seemingly having grown overnight. Even the cliff faces shone golden in the morning light, washed clean by the rain. The sky was an obnoxious shade of blue, as though the grey heaviness was a blanket that had been kicked off in the night.

  Alexandra noticed Pen’s car was still in the car park. She’d be back soon. They’d all dropped the parenting ball over the past few days. That was the beauty of going away with other mothers; you kind of knew everyone had one eye on the kids at all times and there was an intuitive picking up of any slack without having to even ask. So unlike life with Maxwell, who had to be asked and instructed on everything to do with the kids and then he didn’t listen anyway. She realised that despite how imperfect this time away had been, going home held its own small stab of pain.

  ‘Are you okay to take them? I’m just going to have a quick look in Pen’s car,’ said Alexandra.

  Emmie nodded. ‘Maybe we’ll call her mobile again, too.’

  Alexandra made her way over to where the cars were parked. She looked into the small Honda. She could see some camera equipment in the back and a pushbike helmet. She tried the door and it was locked.

  Macie approached her wearing a chic straw hat and a linen dress. Her easy style made Alexandra acutely aware of her crushed clothing and lack of polish. It was unlike her to let these things go but somehow, she had. ‘Emmie said Pen’s gone on a long walk. Poor Will. I saw he was crying. Can I get anyone anything?’

  ‘Strong coffee? No, you’ve done enough. Sorry, I feel like your hospitality has been extended way beyond what was expected.’ Alexandra allowed herself a little exasperated laugh.

  Macie made a waving motion. ‘Hospitality is what I do. I love making people comfortable. I’ve got a cake in the oven for Will. He told me his favourite is banana.’

  Alexandra shook her head. ‘You didn’t have to do that. You’ve been too good to us. Anyway, I think we’ll get out of your hair today.’

  ‘Oh no, you’re not meant to be going yet. Stay one more night, at least. I’ve got more than enough supplies and Caleb hasn’t even made his pièce de résistance. We’ll have a big farewell dinner. Enjoy another day of sunshine.’

  ‘Oh no, we couldn’t. You’ve already done so much.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure. It’s been so nice having the hotel full again. Like old times. I don’t really want you all to go, if I’m honest.’

  Alexandra shot Macie a warm smile. She came across a little aloof but really Macie was sensitive, Alexandra knew that more than anyone. She wanted to do more. Apologise for more. For all those years of awfulness. The bullying. Why couldn’t they breach it? Talk about it? Get it out into the open? Why was it this nub that remained between them, rubbing raw under the surface like a blister? Instead she said: ‘I’ll talk to the others. See what the consensus is.’

  ‘I’ll set up some brunch over on the tables. They’ll need a wipe down.’

  ‘You don’t have to do that, either.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I’ve got the cake and some scones in the oven. I’ll just cut up some fresh fruit. None of you mums have had breakfast yet. And coffee.’

  Alexandra found herself giving Macie’s arm a squeeze. ‘Thank you.’

  For a moment their eyes met, and Alexandra felt herself hover over everything unsaid, untouched, like a cloud over a sheer cliff wall.

  She broke away with a quick smile. She could feel Macie’s eyes on her as she headed over to the horse paddock. The kids were completely overwhelming the poor animals.

  ‘Mum, there’s another horse. We don’t even know where it came from. There was only one before,’ said Thomas, eyes wide.

  ‘Two horses, wow,’ said Alexandra. ‘Maybe feed them one at a time. Thomas – be gentle!’

  ‘Can we go on the trampoline now?’ asked Seraphine.

  Like a school of fish distracted by a bigger meal, their little bodies moved as one towards the trampoline, the horses forgotten.

  ‘One at a time jumping,’ Emmie called after them. ‘The last thing we need is a sprained ankle.’

  Alexandra waved to Nathalie who was approaching wearing a sun dress, her hair still damp.

  ‘I might go and walk the route I did with Pen. Are you okay to keep an eye on the kids?’ asked Emmie, watching Nathalie’s approach and clearly keen to avoid her.

  ‘Good idea. Yep, we’ll keep them outside for as long as possible. Macie was going to bring out some morning tea.’

  ‘Okay, great.’ Emmie headed off towards the gate.

  ‘Still no Pen?’ asked Nathalie. ‘And I can see Emmie doesn’t want to be around me.’

  ‘Oh, she’s just going to walk the route she did with Pen the other day.’

  ‘Uh-huh,’ said Nathalie, biting her lip.

  They walked over to the trampoline to find Seraphine in tears.

  ‘Oh God, what now?’ asked Alexandra under her breath. ‘You okay, honey? Are you not all sharing and taking turns?’

  Seraphine wiped her face on her nightie top. ‘Will told me his mum has disappeared and isn’t coming back. And now my mum has gone, too.’

  Alexandra shook her head. ‘Oh sweetheart, it’s all okay. Pen has just gone for a walk and Will’s just feeling a bit worried. Your mum’s just gone to meet her. No one is not coming back. Everyone will be back.’

  ‘My boys wouldn’t even notice if I’d been gone 48 hours,’ Alexandra said under her breath to Nathalie.

  ‘Yeah, same with my girls,’ said Nathalie, who was rubbing Seraphine’s back.

  ‘Oh, thank God, food,’ said Alexandra as Macie approached with a tray of cake and fruit and a pitcher of homemade lemonade. ‘Come on kids, off the trampoline, Macie has brought cake.’

  The children trailed after Macie to the willow tree like little birds following bread crumbs. She placed the feast on the table. The cake was glazed and shiny in the dappled light and the smell of the fruit, sweetness mixed with tart lemon, lingered in the air.

  ‘You’re a lifesaver,’ Alexandra said to Macie as the kids swarmed to the food.

  ‘I may not have my own little one around much anymore, but I know what kids need,’ said Macie, handing Will a slice of banana cake.

  CHAPTER 35

  Emmie

  The sun was overhead, bearing down on her, burning into her skin. It was so unlike her not to have applied sunscreen, but the panic that bloomed like the overripe flowers in the garden was obscuring her common sense. Their sweet smell made her feel sick. Emmie couldn’t help but think of Pen outside under this ferocious white-hot sky. Had she taken water? Wouldn’t she be dehydrated? Where the hell was she? Was she hurt? Emmie imagined her lying injured, alone, calling out fruitlessly, her voice lost in the sheer vastness of this place. Or worse. No, she couldn’t even let her mind go there. Emmie pressed her hands to her flaming cheeks and turned to the others. They had gathered on the front steps of the hotel after searching all morning, taking it in turns to look after the kids. ‘I feel so helpless. Her mobile’s saying no reception. Someone should check her room to make sure it’s not there. How did I not think of that? And at what point do we call the police?’

  ‘I’ll do another walk over the bridge now,’ said A
lexandra. ‘And I Googled when I had range and you don’t have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing, you know.’

  Emmie shook her head and began to pace. ‘God, I can’t believe she’s still not back. Poor Will. Thank God for that TV and all Macie’s cake to distract him.’

  ‘I’ll check her room,’ said Nathalie. ‘And Caleb can do another drive around, this time going a bit further afield. He knows the bush out here like the back of his hand.’

  ‘I think we need to call the police. Something’s happened. She must have fallen and hurt herself or something. She wouldn’t just leave Will like this. I know her,’ Emmie said.

  Alexandra shot her a worried look. ‘How long have you known Pen?’

  Emmie shook her head. It was hard to think clearly. Her thoughts were like the screeching birds in the leaves above them. ‘Ah, I don’t know. I mean Will and Seraphine have been in the same class two years in a row.’

  ‘It was in her room.’ Nathalie returned, breathless, holding out Pen’s phone.

  Emmie felt a coldness creep through her despite the heat. She took the phone and examined the photo of Pen smiling with Will and Cate at the beach. Her heart ached. ‘No one goes out without their phone.’

  ‘Except when there’s shit reception anyway,’ said Nathalie.

  ‘Jesus,’ said Alexandra. ‘How are we going to handle this with Will?’

  Emmie’s eyes spiked with tears. Poor Will. He’d already had to grow up without a dad. He was going to freak out if they called the police. But what else could they do?

  ‘Okay, she’s out there somewhere without a phone. It’s been what? Five, six hours? We definitely need to call the police,’ said Emmie.

  ‘I agree,’ said Nathalie. ‘The most likely explanation is that she’s gotten lost or she’s hurt herself and can’t get back. We need more people searching.’ They exchanged a look and Emmie felt her pulse quicken, her feelings towards Nathalie soften.

  ‘Okay, so we’re in agreement that I’ll call the police?’ asked Emmie, her voice wavering as she spoke.

  Alexandra and Nathalie nodded. ‘You should use the landline in the hall,’ said Alexandra. ‘I’ll go tell Macie and Caleb. What shall we tell Will?’

  ‘I think we need to tell him the truth. We can’t just have the police turning up without warning him. He’s an intuitive little boy,’ said Nathalie.

  ‘I’ll talk to him. I know him most. I’ll get Seraphine to help me,’ said Emmie.

  Emmie’s hand was trembling when she made the call. The initial lack of interest the officer on the line took was dispiriting. But she was passed on to another person who must have been higher up. She’d have to file a missing person’s report at the nearest police station, but taking into account the dense bushland in the valley the policeman told her they’d send some police out that afternoon.

  She hung up and walked into the lounge, her head spinning. She had no idea how she was going to tell the little boy sitting in front of the TV that they didn’t know where his mum was and that the police were on their way.

  She took Seraphine aside from the others. She knew her daughter would be upset but hoped Seraphine could be strong for her friend.

  ‘Honey, I need to talk to you for a minute.’

  Seraphine reluctantly left the glow of the screen. ‘Do we need to turn off the TV?’

  ‘No, sweetness. I just want you to help me. You know how Will has been a bit worried about his mum?’

  Seraphine nodded solemnly.

  ‘Well, now we’re a little bit concerned because she still hasn’t come home. But we don’t want to upset Will more, do we?’

  Seraphine’s eyes widened. ‘He can sleep in my bed tonight,’ she said. ‘He can have Teddy Two.’

  Emmie’s eyes filled with tears and she wrestled with the emotion forming in her throat. ‘That’s beautiful, honey. Yes, I’d like Will to come sleep in our room tonight, too.’

  ‘He can’t sleep alone,’ she said.

  ‘No, he can’t. Can you go and get him, and we’ll have a bit of a talk with him?’

  Will’s face looked paler than normal and his eyes were red. They darted around the room nervously. ‘Will, I know you’re worried about Mum. I’m so sorry she’s not here. But Seraphine and I are going to take care of you, okay?’

  ‘You said she’d be coming back,’ he said. ‘But it’s lunchtime and she has no lunch.’

  Emmie took his hand. ‘I know, I’m so sorry, honey. But the police are going to help us, okay?’

  ‘The police?’ Will’s alarmed expression broke something in Emmie, and she felt a tear slip down her face, which she quickly brushed away. She had to be strong. She couldn’t cry. ‘It’s okay. We’re going to find her.’

  ‘We can have a sleepover in my bed tonight, and you can have Teddy Two,’ said Seraphine, her eyes huge.

  Emmie’s heart squeezed at the sight of Will’s tears. Seraphine gave him a hug.

  ‘It’s my fault,’ Will sobbed.

  ‘No. No no no, honey, it’s absolutely not your fault.’

  ‘She found me reading the diary.’

  ‘What diary, honey?’

  Will sniffed and rubbed his eyes. ‘She got angry with me.’

  ‘I have a diary too,’ said Seraphine.

  ‘It’s not mine. It’s Clara’s,’ said Will.

  ‘Who’s Clara?’ asked Seraphine.

  Emmie’s mouth went dry. Wasn’t that the name of the lady who had gone missing in the valley in the 1940s? Clara Black. The one who everyone thought was the ghost in the window of her photo. She thought back to that moment on the steps by the water fountain, when Will had been so adamant that he’d seen the woman. Fear skittered down her spine.

  ‘She’s a lady from the olden days,’ said Will. ‘I found it playing hide-and-seek and Macie said I could read all the books in the hotel, but Mummy didn’t like me reading it. It made her angry.’

  ‘Mums usually only get angry because they’re trying to protect their kids,’ said Emmie, pushing down the dread that was building inside her. She swallowed back the taste of bile rising in her throat.

  ‘Why has she left me then?’ asked Will, his eyes brimming with tears once again.

  ‘She hasn’t left you. She’s probably got lost,’ said Emmie, trying to steady her voice. ‘And the police are coming to help us find her.’

  ‘What if she didn’t want me anymore?’

  She drew Will to her, his arms thin and fragile, like a bird. ‘Oh, Will, she did. She does’.

  She wanted to ask him more about the diary, but his little body was shaking with fear, his face wet with tears. His was a heavy burden, too heavy for a child. Why did children always blame themselves for the actions of their parents? A new seam of panic opened inside her. She hugged her daughter close, appreciating the perfect circle of her little arms, but this time it didn’t quell the dread.

  CHAPTER 36

  Nathalie

  Police officers sat on the lounge with notepads open in their laps. Beyond the windows long afternoon shadows crept over the garden and the air was thickening towards night. The cliff faces were creamy in the dying light, which was now loud with birdsong. The earth seemed determined to fall under the spell of evening, although Nathalie wished she could somehow slow it. With every shadow growing along the hotel’s front entrance came a darkening around the edges of her vision, a churning in her belly.

  The room was chilly and dim. Nathalie went to warm her hands on her tea but it had grown cold. The two police were women, which gave Nathalie hope. One looked too young to be a mother but the other might be, and maybe she’d intuit just how pressing this was.

  ‘Can I ask, do you have children?’ she asked the older officer.

  The woman had the sort of eyes that smile without the lips needing to move. Her pen paused over her notepad and she nodded. ‘I do. Grown up now, but yes.’

  ‘Good,’ said Nathalie. ‘Good. I know it shouldn’t make a difference but–’

&nbs
p; The younger officer shot her a long sidelong glance.

  ‘I understand,’ the older woman said diplomatically, her eyes reassuring.

  ‘We’re doing everything we can at this stage. We’ve got several officers and some volunteers from the Rural Fire Service canvassing the area now,’ the younger officer said, her voice tinged with defiance.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Emmie, her hands knotting in front of her on the lounge.

  The officers exchanged a look and the older one spoke slowly, as though she were a teacher addressing a class of students about to do a test. ‘Now, we’ve searched Pen’s room and it does appear that her son’s belongings are still there, but some of her own appear to be gone.’

  Nathalie’s throat constricted. ‘Really? But we found her phone.’

  ‘Yes, we realise that, but there doesn’t appear to be a handbag, or something of that nature, with a wallet and small personal items. Do you know if she carried a handbag, or something of the sort?’

  Emmie nodded. ‘Ah, I think maybe, yes, she had a backpack. She’s practical. A photographer. Are you sure?’ asked Emmie, her face flushed. ‘Maybe she just wanted to take some things with her on the walk. Or maybe it’s in her car.’

  ‘We’ve searched her car. Yes, that’s what we’re just trying to figure out.’

  ‘What does that mean? Has something happened to her or–?’ Alexandra asked.

  ‘She hasn’t just packed her stuff and left,’ Emmie snapped, glaring at Alexandra.

  ‘I know but, well, these are experts. Let’s see what they have to say about the situation,’ Alexandra said.

  ‘We’ve got a few more questions. We understand Will, her son, was the last person to see Pen.’

  ‘Yes, he took her cornflakes in bed,’ said Emmie.

  ‘And what time was that?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not exactly sure but I know Will gets up very early. We figured maybe 6.30 am?’

  ‘Were any of you awake at this time?’

  They all shook their heads.

  ‘And what made you think Pen went for a walk this morning?’

  ‘She and I went for a morning walk the other day. She likes to exercise in the morning,’ Emmie said. ‘It’s just what we sort of assumed, especially after being cooped up with all the rain yesterday.’