The Valley of Lost Stories

by Vanessa McCausland

  ‘I’m going to make some iced tea. Do the kids need more sunscreen?’ Macie asked from under an enormous black hat.

  ‘Thanks, more sunscreen would be great. I think I left it in the dining room,’ Emmie said, shading her eyes against the glare. She was sweating and her feet were burning from all the walking she’d done, but she couldn’t sit down. She couldn’t sit still. It didn’t feel right.

  Nathalie had jumped in with the kids to cool off and was still wet as she sat down on the end of a lounge chair with a towel around her waist.

  ‘Can we talk? While Macie’s gone?’ Her mouth was a worried line and her eyes were tightly squinted against the light. ‘Alexandra, can you come over for a sec?’

  Alexandra got up from where she was sitting with her legs in the water, her dress hiked into her underwear. She hid behind big sunglasses and when she spoke her voice was flat.

  ‘I feel so bad sitting here by the pool,’ Alexandra said, dragging another pool chair over to Emmie’s. ‘I feel helpless.’

  Emmie shook her head. ‘I know. I was just thinking that. Maybe you two can stay here with the kids – it’s nice to see Will looking a bit happier, and I’ll go and have another talk to the police.’

  ‘I called Maxwell this morning and he said they should hold a press conference. We need the cops to take this more seriously,’ Alexandra said.

  ‘I need to talk to you guys about Will for a sec,’ Nathalie said, blinking against the light. She pressed her hand to her chest. ‘Bless him. The poor little thing. So, I found him just standing in the dark hall yesterday all by himself.’

  ‘Which hall?’ asked Emmie. ‘The place is like a labyrinth.’

  ‘You know where the reception area is at the front entrance? Just off the side there. Macie has an office down the hall. I didn’t tell you this before, but I found Sim in there when she was hiding in the thunderstorm. Caleb and I found her. He said he’d never been in the office before and it was usually locked. And anyway, it’s full of pictures of a little boy. All over the walls. Dozens of them.’ She drew her arms to her.

  ‘What, her son, do you think?’ asked Emmie. ‘I gather she doesn’t see him much.’

  ‘I don’t know. Caleb didn’t want me to mention it. Anyway, then I found Will just standing in front of the door. It was locked, I checked. And I asked him why he was there, and he said he had to stand there until his mum came back . . . and the lady led him there.’

  ‘Oh my God, that’s just totally freaky,’ said Alexandra pressing her hands to her face. ‘That kid. Wow.’

  Their eyes moved to the little boy bobbing on a pool noodle in the shallow end.

  ‘I’m thinking he’s just under complete stress,’ Nathalie said, her forehead creased in worry.

  ‘Okay, something else. Will mentioned a diary to me,’ said Emmie, her voice dropping to a whisper. ‘Someone called Clara’s diary. Clara Black is the name of the woman who went missing in the valley in the 1940s. I wanted to ask more but didn’t want to push him, you know? And to be honest, it kind of freaked me out. I asked if he wanted to show me the diary, but he said no. Pen got angry with him for reading it or something.’

  ‘Jesus,’ said Nathalie, wrapping her towel tighter around her body.

  ‘That poor boy clearly isn’t coping,’ said Alexandra. ‘Will is going through psychological trauma right now. Did you say he was standing in front of Macie’s office?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I feel bad enough that we’ve overstayed our welcome and there’s been so much drama. I don’t really want to mention this to her and put something else on her,’ Alexandra said. She looked over at the pool. ‘Sharing, please. Come on boys, let the girls have a turn on the pool noodles now.’

  ‘I can’t help thinking there’s more to Macie than meets the eye,’ said Nathalie.

  ‘What does that mean?’ Alexandra replied, her tone defensive. ‘I know you’ve never particularly liked her, Nathalie, but she’s been nothing but the perfect hostess to us. Looked after the kids while the police interview was happening, and we were driving around looking for Pen.’

  A piercing wail made them crane their necks towards the pool. Jasper was on his hands and knees crying.

  ‘Yep, that’s mine. I’ll be back,’ said Alexandra, her voice full of exasperation.

  Nathalie drew so close Emmie could see the sheen of sweat on her skin. ‘Emmie, don’t you think it’s a bit weird? Will just standing there . . . all the pictures on the wall. Caleb’s reaction to this room? Am I going crazy?’

  ‘No. I feel like we’re all going a bit crazy. Especially Will. My heart is breaking for him. This woman he’s talking about. I don’t know. And I’m not sure why Alexandra isn’t seeing this. Macie is acting like nothing’s happened. It’s all iced tea and pony rides for the kids.’

  ‘I can’t help but wonder about that room,’ said Nathalie.

  Emmie nodded. ‘I don’t think we should say anything more to Alexandra though,’ she whispered as the other woman began walking back towards them.

  The sound of a phone buzzing made Emmie jump. ‘Oh, my goodness. There’s reception here?’

  Nathalie scrambled in the beach bag she’d brought down to the pool. She picked up the phone and stared at it, as though it was a foreign object. ‘It’s ringing,’ she said. She held the phone to her ear.

  ‘Mike? Hi. Yes. Sorry, I’m just so shocked there’s reception by the pool. Sorry, it’s cutting in and out a bit. You’re where? Lithgow? Oh, my goodness. Okay. Yes, we’re okay. I know. It’s so upsetting. Poor Will. What? You’ve got Richie with you! Oh, my goodness, my little man.’ Nathalie’s face beamed. ‘We’ll see you soon then.’

  CHAPTER 38

  Nathalie

  The girls rushed up the marble staircase, their bodies still glistening with water from the pool. ‘Slow down, girls, you’ll slip,’ she called after them. The coolness of the hotel foyer was a balm against the searing afternoon heat.

  Nathalie smiled as she climbed the stairs. She was going to see her baby boy. And Mike. He’d made the effort to come all the way out here without her asking. She couldn’t help how good that made her feel. Perhaps her fling with Caleb was what she’d needed to bring her and Mike back together. To free her of her vindictiveness over the affair. Maybe they could start anew. She did love him. Of course she did. And he was clearly trying. This place was forcing her mindset to expand. Perhaps she needed to let the crazy stuff with Will go and focus on her own family. God knows she’d avoided doing that recently.

  She opened the door of her room and stopped. Caleb was sitting on the edge of her bed, his arms resting on his knees. The girls had flung their towels on the floor and had picked up their Barbie dolls, ignoring Caleb and conversing in high-pitched doll-speak.

  ‘Oh, hi,’ she said, pulling her towel closer around her body and trying to mask her shock.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt the pool party.’ He flashed her an apologetic smile.

  She sat on her haunches and hugged her girls to her, smelling their chlorinated hair. ‘Girls. Let’s go visit Seraphine. Emmie can give you guys a bath. She makes extra big bubbles in hers.’

  ‘Yay!’ they shouted, flinging their dolls to the ground and rushing out the door.

  When she returned, she closed the door behind her and fixed Caleb with a serious look.

  ‘Sorry, I just – I needed to talk to you,’ he said, looking meek. He stood and then sat back down on the bed, raking his hands through his hair. ‘I’m going a little bit crazy here. I’m sorry. I mean what happened the other night. I can’t stop thinking about you.’ He put his head in his hands and then looked up. ‘I’m sorry to just barge in here.’

  She nodded, taking a deep breath. She had no one but herself to blame for Caleb sitting here. ‘No, that’s okay. I just didn’t want the girls–’

  He shook his head. ‘Oh, no, no, of course.’ He patted the bed beside him. ‘Will you come, sit? I know we probably can’t just escape wi
th everything that’s going on, but I needed to see you. Touch you.’

  Nathalie’s head throbbed and her mouth went dry. She really hadn’t thought this through, had she? Mike would be here in an hour or so and Caleb was showing all the signs of infatuated neediness. She sat down next to him on the bed and allowed him to take her hand. His were hot and clammy. He smelled woody, like smoke and cinnamon; she couldn’t deny it, he smelled good. She felt desire move through her despite the protest in her mind. How was she going to break this to him?

  ‘I’ve found the key to Macie’s room,’ he said, threading his fingers through hers and pushing a strand of damp hair from her face.

  Nathalie was mute. The room spun a little. She swallowed hard and willed herself to stay cool. ‘Oh?’

  ‘I’m not sure what you want with it exactly, but I get you’re worried about Will. I want to help.’ A pleading look came into his eyes. ‘Can you come with me tonight? To the cave? Even if it’s at 3 am?’

  A mild wave of nausea washed through her. Was this the exchange she was expected to make? She couldn’t look him in the eyes. Couldn’t see the desperation there. She realised suddenly how real this was for him. How important, and guilt sluiced through her.

  ‘Caleb, I can’t. My husband, Mike, just called. He’s on his way here. And my baby, Richie, is coming too.’

  His face darkened but he put his hand in his pocket and took out a small gold key. It was cool when he pressed it into her palm.

  Yes, this was the exchange. She thought about Caleb’s lonely reality in this valley. Of the depth of their connection, which was real. She thought about Will’s pale, haunted face outside that door. Of Pen, out there somewhere. Something deeper than her rational mind, something instinctual told her that she had to take the key.

  ‘Okay,’ she said, her voice steady. ‘I’ll try to get away to meet you.’

  Her heart ached and tears burned behind her eyes as she watched Mike carry Richie through the garden to the hotel’s entrance. She ran to them and buried her face in the chubby folds of her little boy’s skin. She plucked him from Mike’s arms and breathed in the warm, milky smell of him. How could it be that after days away from her he still smelled the same? He still smelled like home. She caught Mike’s eye and smiled.

  She could see him objectively now, after nearly a week. It was funny how little time it took away from someone for their familiarity to wash off, like a scent trail lost after rain. His tanned skin and warm brown eyes, so different from her own pale colouring, struck her.

  ‘Wow, this place is something else,’ said Mike, kissing her lips. ‘The middle of nowhere and there’s this huge old hotel. This little one’s missed Mummy, haven’t you?’

  ‘Oh, Mummy’s missed you, baby boy.’

  ‘And how about your other boy?’ asked Mike, his eyes playful. A memory returned to her, bright and clear, like the day they’d met. That same look in his eye, as though the world was an easy, safe place. It was outside a cafe in the city after he’d found her wallet and tracked her down, restoring her faith in human nature and triggering a newfound belief in fate. He’d been so charming and had insisted that she buy him a drink for his troubles. That had made her laugh and after a shitty day at work it was an offer she could hardly have refused. Their chemistry had been consuming from that first beer. He’d later joke that he fell in love with her as soon as he saw her photo – a particularly unattractive one – on her driver’s licence. He’d even had it blown up at their wedding, much to everyone’s delight.

  It was funny how the mythology of how a couple formed somehow built itself into the very fabric of the relationship, so that sometimes it was hard to tell where the story ended, and real life began. Perhaps she hadn’t been able to let go of their marriage because their fairy tale was too beguiling, the myth so strong she believed it would triumph, like serendipity, like a wallet returned by a stranger.

  She laughed now, feeling herself soften and expand as his arm snaked around her waist. ‘I may have missed you a little too.’

  ‘Where are the girls?’ he asked.

  ‘They’re off somewhere running with the other kids. That’s the beauty of this place. Seraphine is about a thousand times more mature and responsible than Findlay. She’s keeping them all in check. Probably over on the trampoline or playing fairies in the garden. Hey, how did you manage the time off work?’ she asked, her nose buried in the soft white hair of Richie’s head.

  ‘I told them a friend of my wife’s was missing and it was an emergency. They had no choice.’

  Nathalie squeezed his arm. It was the first selfless thing he’d done in as long as she could remember. ‘Thank you. I’m not sure how long we’re going to be here. God, it’s so stressful. I’m so glad you’re here.’

  He turned to her and gripped her by the shoulders. His eyes were huge in the softening afternoon light. ‘I want to know all about what’s happened with Pen, but I just want to say that I’ve had some time to think. Just having space without the kids around helped. Mum was great taking Richie. And I really missed you, Nat. I mean, I know we’ve had our problems. They’ve just intensified with every one of our kids. We’ve drifted further and further apart. I’ve had my own struggles and that’s played out in a way that’s been so hurtful for you. But maybe we can go home and start afresh. Really give this a good shot. Pretend I found your wallet in a valley in the middle of the bush.’

  Tears spilled down her face and Nathalie swiped them away with shaking fingers. ‘You hurt me,’ she said, her voice tiny, the rush of emotion unexpected. ‘So much.’

  Mike drew her to him, and she smelled the familiar scent of his aftershave, the laundry detergent from their home. ‘I know. And I’d like to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.’

  ‘Oh my God, who are you?’ she blurted, laughing through her tears.

  ‘A man who knows it’s a long road ahead but who’s prepared to do the work. I’ve missed my family.’

  Nathalie thought about all the counselling sessions, all the apologies, the platitudes, but underneath his words resentment had lurked and under hers, anger. None of it had been real, but this was real. The undercurrent of negative emotion that had kept them apart had fallen away. Part of her wanted to ask him to take them all home right now. To leave everything, all their possessions and drive out of this valley. It was so tempting. But the key to Macie’s office sat like a heavy stone in her pocket.

  A full moon was rising by the time they met in the dining room for dinner. The children were tired and hungry but placated with juice, garlic bread and the vast collection of colouring pencils and paper.

  Macie placed wine on the table, but no one opened it. Their drinking, the levity of only a few nights ago seemed like a distant dream. But Mike brought a new energy to the group, shifted it somehow. Nathalie had forgotten how confident he was. How charming he could be. They listened as Mike recounted his ‘single dad’ struggles trying to get Richie to sleep, to eat, to do anything. Where his ineptitude once would have created a fresh sheet in the endless book of resentment, she found now a new gratitude for his calming presence. She eyed the bottle of wine in the middle of the table. Macie and Mike poured themselves glasses. She watched Macie carefully. She was dressed in one of her elegant silk kimonos, her hair pulled back into an ornate clip. Macie seemed thoroughly charmed by her husband, just as Nathalie knew she would be. Macie skirted on the surface of things. She was easily seduced by beauty.

  Nathalie twisted the empty wine glass between her fingers. Her head throbbed with longing. Every part of her was trained on chasing the feeling of surrender, the blurring of her edges that she knew would come after only a few sips. She watched Macie and she knew she must resist.

  Caleb slunk on the periphery of the dinnertime gathering, bringing out salads and filling the kids’ juice glasses. His eyes were like torches at once boring into and lighting up her body. She couldn’t deny she felt the pull of him. But there was something wild there too, som
ething dark that made her heart quicken and her chest tight.

  They all took turns explaining the days that led up to Pen’s disappearance to Mike as though somehow he would be able to piece together the strange puzzle through sheer objectivity. Through the sheer will of his unflappable confidence that everything would be okay. Emmie and Alexandra were detailing the police involvement. She looked over to see Will next to Seraphine at the kids’ table. The pair were drawing together, two quiet islands amid the noise and rabble of the rest of the children.

  Nathalie took a deep breath. Now was the time. If she was going to do it, it had to be now. Caleb had retreated to the kitchen and Richie was fast asleep in a sling against her chest. If anyone saw her sneaking out, they’d assume she was feeding him somewhere quiet or putting him down. No one seemed to notice her go.

  Her heart was beating so hard in her chest that she feared it would wake her son. She needed him to stay asleep. She tiptoed out of the dining room and into the dark entranceway, lit only by an ornate lamp of a woman entwined with a snake. On the shadowy walls, other images – sirens, fairies, all manner of women – stared down at her. An image of Will standing in the dark, supposedly led there by a woman, returned to her and she shivered. She felt for the key in her pocket as she reached Macie’s office. It was almost impossible to make out the keyhole it was so dark. She listened for a beat. The voices drifting from the dining room were faint. Macie laughed. Richie stirred, his eyelids fluttering. Please stay asleep, she begged. Please.

  She eased the key into the lock and turned it. The door opened with a creak. Her mouth was dry, and she was shaking as she closed the door behind her and stepped into the room.

  It was dark except for the light from a low moon shining in through the lace curtains at the window. She stepped carefully towards the large timber desk against the wall. She flicked on the lamp. Another woman, belly distended, this one reclining, holding the lit orb of the lamp in her arms. As her eyes adjusted, she took in the photos of the little boy. There was a small framed photo of the same child smiling in a much younger Macie’s arms on the desk. A rivulet of cold ran through her. She had no idea what she was doing in here. What she was looking for.